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 momsaysirock
Joined: 2/4/2015
Msg: 251
Paying for a datePage 11 of 73    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

What I honestly don’t understand is why a guy would accept his date’s offer to pay.


that is because your thoughts & attitude are rooted in tradition. because TRADITIONALLY it has been one way, it should never ever change, I guess?

VV


If you are the person who extends the invite - M or F, you pay.


and..tradition dictates that men must always be the ones to do the inviting.

.so we come full circle . right?

VVV
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 252
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 10:11:41 AM
If you are the person who extends the invite - M or F, you pay.
So if that pains you just invite out for a cup of coffee..
Was once invited to a BBQ, it was byob, meat, and patio chair. wth?
I wonder if Dutch people call it Going POF?
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 253
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 10:30:58 AM

that is because your thoughts & attitude are rooted in tradition.


The funny thing is: women who insist on paying are playing into the same tradition. The tradition being: the one that pays is the provider.

My GF describes it as, "a way to feel needed" (when talking about buying me things). I describe it as, "Irritating."

The reason I called it programming before is this: I know better. I know that it shouldn't matter who buys what, so long as we contribute equally. I also don't like assigning value to money. Yet, there I am, insisting I pay for dates (with my GF, obviously)despite how I really feel about it.

This, of course, does not apply to every person of either gender across the board.(in case WIP sees this).



I wonder if Dutch people call it Going POF?


IK this was rhetorical, but, here's a fun fact;

The term 'going Dutch' comes from a rivalry between the English and the Dutch that goes back to the 17th century. They called it that because the Dutch are commonly stereotyped as stingy.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 254
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 10:33:49 AM

{If you are the person who extend the invite- M or F, you pay}
Ding ding ding, that's exactly all there is to it. Some men really overcomplicate things for themselves...perhaps that's why they're single. LOL.

Yeah, but that's not exactly what happens. Dates don't always happen by one person Inviting someone to go somewhere with them, or Asking to take them out.
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 255
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 10:37:26 AM
[We exchange various tokens of love: acts, words, gifts, time, touch. They are not identical but equivalent, as BlondeAngel just posted. What the heck is wrong with that?]

Simple question. Why don't more women pay for the first date or go Dutch and trust the guy will entire return the favor by acts,words, gifts, time touch etc later on?
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 256
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 11:13:11 AM

If you are the person who extends the invite - M or F, you pay.


{Dr. Evil} My plan of never asking another woman out is working perfectly; I'll save a thousand dollars. {/Dr. Evil}
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 257
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 11:30:25 AM
Ouija:

I wonder if Dutch people call it Going POF?

Classic. They should.

Has any woman had a man ask to go "Dutch"?

Hell, no, and I'm in Florida.

I've dated a few men who were having a difficult time financially; they didn't have to ask.
Nj2ut

Why don't more women pay for the first date or go Dutch and trust the guy will entire return the favor by acts,words, gifts, time touch etc later on?

I don't ask men on first dates so I'm not concerned with it. It is rooted in every-day Western etiquette that he who asks, pays. Just the way it is. If you don't like it, do something else or wait for a woman to ask you out first and pay. Let me know how that goes, would you?
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 258
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 11:50:01 AM
Asereco:

Some women really overcomplicate things for themselves as well by simply never ever asking a man out...perhaps that's why they're SINGLE . LOL.

I'll ignore the usual "I don't know what life is about" single slam on me and I guess anyone here who is single (I'm in a relationship but what difference does it make)?

I don't have to read it, I wrote it.

I'd ask men out on first dates, but I never get that chance, get my drift there?

Happy now?
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 259
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 12:01:34 PM
Going PoF = Netflix & $2 buck chuck at my pad with scented candles.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 260
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/11/2015 1:38:16 PM

jerseygirl2008:
But I've been told by several men over the years to never again offer to buy the drinks while I was in their company, as it was insulting.


Why didn't You tell them You found it Insulting, that they would Refuse a Drink You Bought?
Were they Too Good to Drink Your Whiskey?
Or do You like being the Helpless Little Maiden?

If I was out with a Lady & She said the Next Round was 'On Her', I'd Graciously accept it as the Gift, it was.......
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 261
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 2:48:55 PM
Maybe all these Dutch men should only date women who have a meter on her mouth, va-jay-jay & any other part of her body he wants to entertain.

The Walking Wanting Head, if they r going to make it all about $ then they should have a Walking To The Chicken Ranch in Parumph, Nevada where they will get exactly what they paid for.

No Dutch there, LoL!
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 262
view profile
History
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 2:57:15 PM
If he asked me out and I offer to pay or insist on dutch it means I'm not interested. I won't let someone I'm not into give me anything.
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 263
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 2:58:41 PM
This issue will remain controversial, maybe through the next generation, until both sexes come to feel enough real equality to actually act equitably, instead of demanding or defaulting to the old double standards as usual.

Please keep the original OP's subject line title on this thread, that is NOT a comment space. Thank you.

S
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 264
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/11/2015 3:00:24 PM
" I know that it shouldn't matter who buys what, so long as we contribute equally."


I dont think it's a coincidence that the guy with the most rational, fair approach also has a girlfriend.

I think most of the men here on this forum should take note. Glad you're here, Mike. We need more of ya.
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 265
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 3:34:05 PM
[Maybe all these Dutch men should only date women who have a meter on her mouth, va-jay-jay & any other part of her body he wants to entertain.

The Walking Wanting Head, if they r going to make it all about $ then they should have a Walking To The Chicken Ranch in Parumph, Nevada where they will get exactly what they paid for.

No Dutch there, LoL!]

And maybe plenty of fish should replace the send message button with a bid now button for the women who believes then man should pay for all the time. It will be like eBay...highest bidder wins. After all isn't it about The money anyway.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 266
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 3:37:14 PM

geekgrrrl:
If he asked me out and I offer to pay or insist on dutch it means I'm not interested. I won't let someone I'm not into give me anything.


Really, Really? Y'all go down to Joe's Bar & Grill on Friday night, cause a Hot Local Band on their way Up is playing there.... The Guy bought the 1st three rounds of Drinks, You're not going to say, "the Next Round is on Me"?
 ApriLikesWhiteRosesOnly
Joined: 1/8/2015
Msg: 267
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/11/2015 3:44:00 PM

Ladies, are you offended when a guy asks to go "Dutch"?


YES,my woman's "ego" would feel very offended.!!
IMO, At the beginning a man MUST provide the first cups of "noodles" and also the first cups of "coffee".
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 268
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 3:55:42 PM
geekgrrrl

I am with you but I would only offer my share, never his as well!!. But this is on a first meet. I would assume that if a guy asks me out for a further date that he would pay for whatever was arranged, and if I were not interested, I would not be agreeing to that further meet. If a guy asked to go dutch on the first date, suggested by him, it would be last time. I could always reciprocate in other ways if the relationship were to continue. But a tightarse I cannot abide. It is not about the money as such. I am sure other women understand where I am coming from.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 269
view profile
History
Pay for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 3:59:27 PM

Behind-Blue-Eyes_53 said:
Really, Really? Y'all go down to Joe's Bar & Grill on Friday night, cause a Hot Local Band on their way Up is playing there.... The Guy bought the 1st three rounds of Drinks, You're not going to say, "the Next Round is on Me"?


I'm not going to consume 3 round of drinks first off. I don't drink like that. No I am not going to offer to buy the next round if he invited me to go out with him. I don't like a bean counting stingy man, I was married to one once and never want to do that again.

I have gone on dates that didn't cost a man anything except his time like a walk in a park or around a lake. If he can't afford it he shouldn't have invited me. I have been on dates that when the check came he came up short. It's a turn off to be sure. If we've been dating a while and are in a relationship its a different story. If this is the beginning it's not going to last much longer if he continues with that kind of behavior.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 270
Paying for a Cumquat
Posted: 2/11/2015 4:01:50 PM

Please keep the original OP's subject line title on this thread, that is NOT a comment space. Thank you.


Will do.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 271
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 4:15:31 PM
paying for a tattle tit, how friggin' low brow

there is no dyed in wool correct answer, is it a meet? is it a date? is it date number whatever the hell? does one of the
meat-ors have travel costs? ( not everyone is an urbanite) . .

no way I'd ever feel indebted for anything more than $10 to a virtual stranger, weed the garden however
seems fitting after the planting is established
 midnite_icecream
Joined: 12/27/2014
Msg: 272
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 6:22:42 PM
lol @ Cumquat
I'd pay to nuke this redundant topic.
 Trynottobecreepy
Joined: 10/26/2014
Msg: 273
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/11/2015 6:25:36 PM
You can pay for a date? Isn't that illegal??
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 274
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 7:05:05 PM

But I've been told by several men over the years to never again offer to split the bill or buy the drinks while I was in their company, as it was insulting.


How is that not insulting to a woman to be told it's insulting for her to have the desire and ability to want to pay as well ?????
 Trynottobecreepy
Joined: 10/26/2014
Msg: 275
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/11/2015 7:17:44 PM
I've found a general rule of thumb: In my experience, men 50 and over want to pay, and men in their 30's assume we'll do dutch. I've no clue about men in their 40's.
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