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 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 301
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Paying for a datePage 13 of 73    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

It shouldn't be, but doesn't society teach us otherwise?


Society does but I don't see anyone in society offering to pay my rent on the 1st of the month either so society can **** off. To me it's about having a good time and getting to know each other. I'm not going to impress her with money because I don't have a lot of that, our first date would be something simple and relatively cheap if I'm paying. Thing is we're adults I would expect a woman approaching her 30s to be understanding of that, if she can't handle paying half of a date then we'll have issues anyway if she has to be wined and dined.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 302
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/12/2015 5:42:13 PM
What? Did I hear shoes?

Who's paying for shoes on a first date?

I'm in.....I'm in! A shoe date......much better than coffee! :D
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 303
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/12/2015 5:44:48 PM
Here you go: http://www.tajscientific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Shoe-Cover.jpg
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 304
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/12/2015 7:52:40 PM
I want a foot massage- 1 hour on each foot...
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 305
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/12/2015 8:14:31 PM

Who said it was her idea? When a mature adult man has asked me on a date he has planned where we’re going to go.


My previous example was about what I would do when a woman suggested to go an expensive place when I didn't want to spend a lot of money. But on my dates, both people often have some input about the details of the date. That has nothing to do with maturity.


Why would you accept your date’s offer to pay? Why would you think that’s a game? If you thought the woman you were taking out on a date would play games with you that you don’t like, WHY would you ask her on a date?


Some women on POF ( and elsewhere ) have stated that they offer to pay their share as a "test". If I knew that about a woman ahead of time, I wouldn't go out on a date with her.


Why would a man ask a woman on a date and then HOPE she offers to pay?? If you couldn’t pay, or didn’t want to pay, WHY would you ask a woman on a date in the first place?


Not everybody has a viewpoint that is based on traditions. There is a difference between wanting to pay vs being expected to pay. A man can appreciate a genuine offer from a woman and still pay for most of the date. As mentioned before, a woman can pay for ice cream or the tip after the man had paid for dinner.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 306
pat, can I buy a clue
Posted: 2/12/2015 9:37:37 PM
an hour ped massage? I once did 2 hours on a backrub (surprised the lady could get out of the chair and not melt her way out), so I guess a 2hr ped is humanly possible. Hopefully she wore her Dr.Scholl's odor-eaters :)

there's only one place on a date for a tight arse. Its not when the bill is due. sometimes, thru email you can tell when a potential date is a person who feels entitled to things. If you want to wait until F2F to get a reading, that's fine. you may end up paying more, tho, if you decide to impress your date.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 307
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/12/2015 10:48:03 PM
The one time a guy offered to pay for dinner, on a first meet, I bought the dessert. I knew I would not see him again and was not interested in being entirely paid for.

However a guy who has asked me out on a first date, i..e second meeting, I would expect him to foot the bill. Any guy who baulks at paying for a coffee or a meal then, is a tightarse and I wouldnt see him again.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 308
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/13/2015 1:26:58 AM

Who's paying for shoes on a first date?

A wanna-be cowboy decked out in 90s cowboy clothes, leaning back -- that's who pays for the shoes. ;)

There you go again-living in the 90's

It's the 90s, right...? (Checking time machine -- oh sh!t)...

#1 telltale sign you're a child of the nineties: you STILL say the above, even though the 90's have been over for 15 years.

You both are correct -- I do harp on that and should be razzed about it. However, I am razzing those who haven't moved past the 80s -- actually, that'd be an insult to the 80s, despite the awful styles and haircuts (even though I tied up my jeans at the bottom around ankles back then as a kid)... it's actually about folks who can't even move into the later 20th century, even though we're 15% of the way into the 21st. :)

I want a foot massage- 1 hour on each foot...

Asian massage parlors are good for that.... although, you're a woman, so that 1 hour will be furitful on each actual foot which would be quite nice -- but for a guy, may be different on his "3rd" when he hears "You pay now!"

The one time a guy offered to pay for dinner, on a first meet

Wait -- just one time?? :)

I bought the dessert. I knew I would not see him again and was not interested in being entirely paid for.

That actually was a classy thing to do (assuming it was because you were not into him, upon meeting him).

However a guy who has asked me out on a first date, i..e second meeting, I would expect him to foot the bill.

Well, if a guy ASKS to take you out on ANY date or even a meet, he should foot the bill. Again, key word is ASK. Not "Hey, we should go out again/sometime". That's not asking, as gal-pals and buddies say the same thing to each other. Bring up the notion != asking. [!= means does not equal]

Any guy who baulks at paying for a coffee or a meal then, is a tightarse and I wouldnt see him again.

He certainly can be. However, it does go both ways in some ways. A gal who Expects a guy to pay for everything no matter what the situation, no matter how the date unfolded -- is definitely a cheap-skate.

So here's the deal -- let's just be honest. It's not about asking to Take someone out. Nor is it about any vague word like "inviting" (what, is she/he throwing a party?).... In the end, disdain it, harp on it, or ignore it, by default, the guy is Expected to pay for pretty much everything under almost all circumstances... the exception is when she asks to TAKE him out (which is equivalent to him bring up the notion of going out some time) -- where she will pay for the core of the date, and the guy will follow-thru after to get the ice cream cone or the drinks not too long afterward (for the post-game-show). There are variations depending on some things and how it unfolds -- but my main point is, in college basketball terms, the possession arrow points toward the gal (hence, the bill, by default toward the guy). Guys shouldn't whine about it IRL, but it is an imbalance in today's modern world when you're outside big cities like Chicago. Because, after all, it's the 90s now. :)
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 309
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/13/2015 5:17:25 AM

IMO it's silly and outdated.

Quite honestly, I don't think your opinion of how they choose to conduct their own lives means diddly to them.

Just sayin'.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 310
NO T!T 4 TaT
Posted: 2/13/2015 5:38:53 AM
MeMeMeatlast:

CuriousinDb please, please , PLEASE stay on topic ! Thank you.

Neverinlife , you used a bad , filthy word, Stop it ! Thank you.

Oh, and NO RUNNING IN THE HALL !

At this point I feel compelled to remind everyone to not only follow POF Forum rules but MY rules as well . Thank you.

You think I'm that easy, Meat? Really? Just make a "suggestion", veer off-thread, and I'll follow?

I nominate Meat for Forums Mod. He's just what we need. Great sense of humor, doesn't drone on, almost every post is funny.
MeMeMeatlast:

A woman would just shrug and think " hey, if he wants to pay all the time, more money I can spend on shoes "

Then again, we might want to rethink that.

Yeah, I ... How many of you hammer out messages to Markus? Yeah. I'm sure he doesn't read any of them, but I always feel better after I send them. Most of the time anyway ... I don't think I've ever been deleted because of any of them.

I sent him quite a few messages about Forums a while back. Yeah. I never keep copies or remember how many or what I wrote, but I do remember I used the phrase "a kinder, gentler Forums". Just didn't make sense to me to see so many deleted profiles in Profile Review and so many posters banned, on restriction ...

I've found that once you draw any sort of attention to yourself on this site, you never get away with anything ever again.

My tag pic is gone.

Don't you think all these threads on who pays make us look bad?

Can't we all just agree that every date is different and leave it at that?

(See, Meat, thought I'd forget, didn't you? Not nice to take advantage of an old person.)
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 311
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 6:40:21 AM
I'm more fair then most women.

See, I really don't mind if she expects something from me after she's paid for the date.

Really, I don't :)
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 312
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 6:48:40 AM
["See, I really don't mind if she expects something from me after she's paid for the date."]

A "relationship"!

You are offering all that time, effort and attention for the next 6 months, all that for just 19.99 dinner tab?

You are so easy...

S
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 313
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 6:55:08 AM

Any guy who baulks at paying for a coffee or a meal then, is a tightarse and I wouldnt see him again.


Perhaps. But that's not always the case though. Some men prefer to share the bill in the beginning ( that doesn't necessarily mean 50-50, a man can still pay for the majority of the date ). Then they will pay for a woman more often once they are in a committed relationship. Plus a woman that refuses to pay for anything can be more "cheap" than a man that wanted to share the bill.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 314
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 9:25:19 AM
It's simple, do whatever you want, and hope the other person is okay with it.

I can:

a. Go out by myself and pay for myself, have a great time.
b. Go out with my friends or BFF, pay for myself (and maybe her), and have a great time.
c. Go out on a date, pay for myself, and endure the presence of someone who desires to f*ck me or interview me to become his next girlfriend.

One of the choices isn't the same as the others, and that's what's driving the preference for the other 2 choices.

I haven't had the misfortune of going on a date and be expected to pay. It's just never happened, but if it does, no big deal, I'd just pay and leave. I am not looking for another friend, so no need to stay longer than I want to.
 momsaysirock
Joined: 2/4/2015
Msg: 315
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 10:08:41 AM
^^

so sex is a trade for money in your life..OK, fair enough

mm-hmm, how goes the quest for the new Tesla...and shoes?
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 316
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 10:18:45 AM
^^^^
No, but if sex can become disposable, something to be thrown it if it doesn't work out on a first try, then so can money. He wants to start out with Sex? Fine, let's also start out with money, so we all get to determine how generous each is in whatever they happen to prioritize or find valuable.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 317
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 11:17:49 AM

He wants to start out with Sex? Fine, let's also start out with money, so we all get to determine how generous each is in whatever they happen to prioritize or find valuable.

But how is that not a sex-money exchange? :) Not saying a guy should expect the sex, nor am I saying the gal should expect the payout. Granted the payout is more in the form of "free dinner and 2 drinks at [dinner place]" and "2 free drinks at [bar place]", but it's just a form of money laundering if one's running the "put out / pay up" method. HOWEVER, if that IS the case, sure -- I believe that's an exchange a guy can't b!tch about, even though in the end, the gal has the upper hand (as sex is a two-way positive; assuming both are satisfactory at least).
 Trynottobecreepy
Joined: 10/26/2014
Msg: 318
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 1:46:44 PM
Random comment: A girl friend of mine gave her husband a blow job for $500.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 319
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 1:49:42 PM
There isn't a blowjob worth 500 dollars
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 320
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 2:00:22 PM
["There isn't a blowjob worth 500 dollars"]

Money is all relative, for some with enough of it. Guess you haven't had one.
She likely has to ask her husband for money all the time. No dinks there...

S
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 321
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 2:26:44 PM

Fine, let's also start out with money, so we all get to determine how generous each is in whatever they happen to prioritize or find valuable.


If a guy takes you out for Valentine's Day, the price of flowers, dinner, and female trinkets is going to be jacked up by about 50%. Will the guy get 50% more sex because he overpaid for everything?
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 322
Paying for a BLOW JOB
Posted: 2/13/2015 2:27:05 PM

Random comment: A girl friend of mine gave her husband a blow job for $500.


Did she up the price when he asked for another ?
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 323
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 3:03:54 PM
Money is all relative, for some with enough of it. Guess you haven't had one.

I've had both 500 dollars and enough head to know that it isn't worth 500 dollars. Sex is relative, I guess you don't get any.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 324
Freestyle!!!
Posted: 2/13/2015 3:04:11 PM

Random comment: A girl friend of mine gave her husband a blow job for $500.

How much did she charge her boss, after hours? ;)
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 325
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/13/2015 4:05:28 PM
Random comment: A girl friend of mine gave her husband a blow job for $500.

See now this, confuses me. How can he pay her $500 when in a marriage everything would be joint? (The only way I would contemplate marriage- you're either all in or you aren't in) So in effect she's paying herself. Unless they were just acting out some little fantasy I suppose...

And then there's that whole 'giving' him a BJ- what, she wasn't part of the sexual experience? I mean, yeah there are times when one party might be more into it than another time, but I cannot even begin to fathom giving ANYONE a BJ unless I was totally into it at that time.


Oh, and CTRL- THAT kind of sexual experience, when both parties are completely into it, not someone going through the motions of a BJ as per your average porn experience, is worth far more than $500. And as you have never experienced it, of course you have no idea.

*goes back to own whisky bottle- keep your hands off Walts you have your own
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