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 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 601
Paying for a datePage 25 of 74    (11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51)
Yeppers, I agee with you bamagrl. The bartender must have
assumed the bill was going to be paid, the woman assumed
it was going to be paid. If this story is true, I don't understand why
someone didn't say anything. Unless it was some sort of game
that was played out.

This is why you should always pay your own way, IMO.
Save yourself some embarrassment.
Nowadays know ahead of time what the plan is.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 602
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 7:31:29 PM

Posted by SunshineGirl_:
"at some point it sounded like you had both left and you let her know the restaurant was waiting for her to pay her share? So they just let you both leave without paying?"

Read what tgif111 posted.
He paid for each of his drinks, in cash, as they were delivered. No running tab.


Posted by SunshineGirl_:
"And you must have given them her name to pursue her bill? I would think ANYone, male or female, in that situation would pay the damn bill like a decent person. Then you could always go after her for her share, maybe even charge interest. I can’t believe you made such a melodramatic scene over this."

Read what tgif111 posted.
The venue was her idea, her preferred place, and she knows the proprietors. She was essentially an internet stranger. Why on earth would he, at that time, pursue someone he barely knows over their unpaid restaurant bill?

Besides, they discussed it and entirely resolved the matter...and all parties seem entirely happy with the results.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 603
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 7:40:49 PM
Ya know...

the few times I've had a really 'negative' experience...

It was always at a venue the gal chose.

Go figure.

Pay before seating arrangement, making another guy jealous nearby, tab anomalies, etc. etc.

I'm seeing a disturbing pattern here :(
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 604
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 7:57:53 PM
Because some wimmins suck and it makes it difficult for the ones
that don't. I suspect that's the problem for some men as well.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 605
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 8:03:02 PM
^^^
I'm optimistic that the majority of wimmins are not crass :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 606
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 8:15:17 PM

Ya know...

the few times I've had a really 'negative' experience...

It was always at a venue the gal chose.


Yep...that is how it rolls.
 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 607
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 8:27:51 PM

It was always at a venue the gal chose. Go figure. Pay before seating arrangement, making another guy jealous nearby, tab anomalies, etc. etc.


What is a pay before seating arrangement?

Are you kidding me about making another guy jealous? That's really yucky behaviour.

And how does one get men to come to a venue of their choice? When I was meeting people, it was always me going hither and yon to meet them because they inevitably live/work on the exact opposite side of the city. One guy made me drive completely across the city (took me 50 minutes with traffic), to meet him where he was staying (he didn't live in my city but was moving here in a couple of weeks, and was checking out apartments), then he had the audacity when we got there that he decided he didn't want to go to that place, and made me drive behind him about 1/2 way back the damned road I had already travelled to meet him.

I need to be more assertive apparently. :)
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 608
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 8:41:44 PM
Pay before seating?

You order, and pay at the register, before sitting down (She walked away to get napkins and condiments after she placed her order, first)

Making a guy jealous?

Long story. Bottom line, her older ex bf was at the bar she wanted to meet at, staring at her, sitting with me. I won't go into details here.


And how does one get men to come to a venue of their choice?


The 'Venue Changers' will attempt to 'upgrade' the date, on the day of the first meet/date.

- A message...'Hey Steve, I checked their menu and I'm not crazy about it. Can we go HERE instead?'

- A phone call on the day of the date, 'Why just drinks? Why not dinner?'

- We arrive at the agreed pub for drinks, and she says, 'I don't like the seats, can we go somewhere else?'

Major Disclaimer...These are not the normal typical dates :)
 waverunningeek
Joined: 3/20/2015
Msg: 609
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 9:08:22 PM
That's my favorite drink. I'm going to try your test next time I'm out.

My test of a new club or bar is the simple classic Long Island Iced Tea...
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 610
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 9:21:03 PM

If this story is true...


Doubts arise...
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 611
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/30/2015 10:26:45 PM
^^^^^^^^^BRUCE JENNER!^^^^^^^

**************what are YOU doing on POF???**************
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 612
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 1:02:46 AM

If this story is true...



Doubts arise...


If one is going to call someone a Liar, I'd hope they have some Concrete Proof...
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 613
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 2:55:05 AM
Ah yeah the home savings and loan place - that's what it is. How is the oil-sand working for the economy? Most my family from OH lives in or around Youngstown. So I heard about it, and good thing it happened in OH. That state needed a fund injection since I can remember.

Also my hats off to you with regard to business venture, and ownership. That takes balls, best of luck in FL.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 614
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:12:12 AM

I explained to her the difference between a meet and greet and a date and she was surprised that there was such a difference. she thought we were on a date.


People can have different definitions about what is considered a date or not. From what I have read and heard, calling it a "meet and greet" is largely a forums thing. My viewpoint is that it depends on the intent. If the purpose is determining any potential romantic interest, then it can be considered as a ( blind ) date. Having said that, I do think the first date / meeting / whatever you want to call it should be relatively inexpensive. And a woman should make a genuine offer to pay for a part of a bill. Even if it's just the tip. Or buying a beverage / snack after a man had paid more for an more expensive item. Most women I had dates / meetings with did offer.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 615
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:24:41 AM
I don't believe the shale/gas industry is going to change anything here vector.

it's like putting a band-aide on a shotgun wound.

Ohio and Michigan are pretty well finished for at least a few decades. they're losing population on a daily basis and in 6 weeks they'll lose me.

old homes, businesses closing, poor people, black people in orange jumpsuits on the news every single night.

not what it was growing up. i'm happy to leave.




Ya know...

the few times I've had a really 'negative' experience...

It was always at a venue the gal chose.


I agree. one of my FIRST online meetings I met a teacher in the parking lot at Panera Bread. her choice. as we said hello she said, "you are really short. I didn't know 5'4 was so short. I wish I had brought a tape measure." my height was on my profile.
it went downhill from there. she waved at two guys as we went in.
I paid for her meal (whatta fool).
she knew everyone in there and left me sitting at a table while she chitchatted with a guy at another table. when she sat down we had little to say. the meet and greet had been over with in the first few seconds out in the parking lot and it was awkward to sit through the rest of it.
I vowed if any woman ever said that to me again I would walk back to my car and leave without a word.

Clooney
vvvvvvvvvv

I don't like Wheaties. sometimes I have oatmeal but I usually just have coffee, cream and sugar medium sweet.
why do you ask? :)

cooldog - it was the owner I mentioned the blind date. I thought that was easier to say than a blind meet and greet.
i'm not sure I agree that the time spent or the kissing turns it into an official date.
but in retrospect I should have paid for her.
i'm happy that she is going to go out with me again and is not a meal whore.

BUT BUT BUT she did mention doing some traveling to world capitals together if we join up in Florida. she doesn't like Youngstown either and she said Florida is appealing. my point is was she mentioning these exotic places thinking I would pay for our travels??

am I being unnecessarily suspicious? gonna have to talk to her when we have our date at the museum.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 616
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:29:31 AM
Tom, are you having Wheaties for breakfast?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 617
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:32:11 AM
Tom Da Bomb did mention to the bartender in a couple of his posts that he was meeting a "blind date", but called the time he spent with the lady a meet and greet. The lady most likely assumed it was a date.

I think it started out as a meet and greet and extended into a date based on the length of time they spent together. Make sense?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 618
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 8:43:00 AM

you made some good point Norwegian guy but I have to disagree that it was a date. meet and greets sometime turn into face sucking matches and I just think she wasn't aware of ONLINE ways of dating. she just joined last week. ergo I think she was a dating rookie. she was NAIVE!

No, it is a Date. Online is the same as, say, being at a bar or party, chit-chatting with a lady for a short period but getting her #, then texting some over a few days, and setting up to get together 1-on-1. I understand not Leaning on the word "Date" to just get together for a few drinks, but it is a date (unless otherwise specified). I think leaning on the concept of "oh, it's online; she didn't know. She didn't know! Phew! A way out!" -- yeah, you realize she DID like you -- you're trying to cover your original tracks of how you assessed it and giving unnecessary "credit" to it all. :) It has nothing to do with Online.

People have the Same low-key 1st 1-on-1 meetup/dates that didn't stem from online. At the end of it, "date" could be a distant technicality. Or, if the two hit it off, it's Solidly a DATE. A date does not require candle-lit dinners at a fancy place. That's not at all what constitutes a date. Meeting some evening for some drinks -- yes, it's a date, sorry. It may not mean much, but it is what it is.

2 years straight in the dating scene is not naive. I had a buddy off the rebound for many years. I rolled my eyes after 4 months he still wasn't totally getting "it" (the intricacies of the dating scene; which admittedly is harder for a guy since he's the initiator virtually all the time). In between 6-9 months he was in gear. But the "who pays"? When you go out on a low-key get-together, 1-on-1 some evening, from a gal you met at a bar, party, or online a little while back -- it's all the same. It's a low-key date. Starting to kiss? It's not low-key anymore.

I would have paid for those had she left it at that. but she ordered pasta with shrimp and ate while I ordered nothing and at that time I said to myself -hell, she can pay for her own.

Exactly -- because it was a date, that started off as a low-key get-together, turned into a strong Date. But you didn't want to pay for substantial additional items she ordered. That was your issue -- not that you'd buy her a few drinks -- as that made it more than "low key", right? I understand that, but unless you let her know that she's gotta pay for that, right then and there, it's going to be assumed you will pay for it. If the bartender sees you and she were like peas & carrots -- it wasn't some mere get-together -- it Was a full-fledged Date (2.5 hours; kissing). Although the bartender should have been a little more on-the-ball about the check, it's a situation that Shouldn't have any issue. It's assumed 1-check -- YOU. Both the bartender and her assumed it in a Socially Default & Acceptable way. You balked at it, and that's what shot yourself in the foot. After all, it's not about you merely paying for her drinks -- it's that she ordered Too Much in your eyes, and "fvck that, she's gotta pay".

There is no "online rule" or any other "rule" that's connected to any other root of the dating scene, where when it's getting together for drinks on an evening to kick things off, even when the couple is clicking, that there's always by Default a split bill. I think That's something ya gotta learn, not she. :) I think separately, she has to learn to not take the guy paying, especially on a 1st outing (you're not datING yet of course) -- that she shouldn't take that for Granted, and she shouldn't be comfortable leaving when the bill isn't even paid yet (which is a strong sign of taking that for granted).
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 619
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 9:01:38 AM

I think it started out as a meet and greet and extended into a date based on the length of time they spent together. Make sense?



Maybe it's a "meet and greet" to avoid paying?
Just throwing this there for thought
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 620
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 9:53:10 AM
Tom,
Wheaties once featured the face of a prominent gold medal decathlon winner whom was heavily influenced by the Kardashian clan.

I figured you were eating Wheaties this morning.

Oh well...
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 621
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 10:23:39 AM
Charmin, PM me..thanks!
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 622
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 5:48:31 PM
You were both wrong.

You're wrong because you don't get to set all the rules for everyone. You shouldn't scold a woman when she doesn't automatically know the rules you have in your own head. This stuff about meets and dates is BS, designed to give cover to cowards.

We don't need to discuss what she did wrong, she's not asking us for feedback. You are.

She took your unwarranted scolding well. You should Start acting nicer.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 623
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:33:30 PM

I think it started out as a meet and greet and extended into a date based on the length of time they spent together. Make sense?


When does a “meet and greet” with someone from OLD officially turn into a date? After 1 hour? After 2 hours? When the bill exceeds a certain amount? When there is kissing involved? Among the people that call it a "meet and greet", they have different viewpoints about if and when it can turn into a date.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 624
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 8:09:49 PM
sorry Clooney.

I forgot Brucie was on the Wheaties box and I didn't make the connection between that and my comment to the gentleman who resembles him. I did read about Jenner in a doctors office magazine and it reflects the incredible changes in our world. who would have thought that this guy was ......... um um i'm not really sure what he is. is it transgender or is that after the DE-PENIS-ING operation??? idk

I read he has chosen another name and will reveal it in the future.
my prediction is that Brucie will become Lucie.


from CharminC
Maybe it's a "meet and greet" to avoid paying?
Just throwing this there for thought


let me throw this out.
who is trying to avoid paying?
the man or the woman?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 625
Paying for a date
Posted: 3/31/2015 9:50:08 PM
tgif111- Look, you are grown, so is she, if you two go out again, MAYBE it will work out, maybe it won't.
Just don't expect a lot of sympathy of things don't go well.
PLEASE don't let the whole "who's paying and who's not" thing cause another problem for another restaurant/bar.
I'm still NOT buying at your ages that BOTH of you didn't know better.
Some places don't play when it comes to things like this, they could have followed either one of you outside, gotten your tag number and one or both or you would have paid or gone to jail.
A dine and dash is theft of services, just saying, Ok?
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