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 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 901
Paying for a datePage 37 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)

Oh, and then there's the ol' McDonald's buy one get one free trick. You go with the 2 for 1 Quarter Pounder special. You get one, she gets one. You tell her you got the free one, and she owes you $2.50 for the one she got. Anyone else done this?

I haven't done it to a girl, but I've certainly fallen for it! Little did I know I was paying for the whole thing, when I was being fooled into thinking were were just splitting the bill! I'm smart though. You can't fool me more than 19 times! By vision becomes 20/20 by the 20th time.

^^^I've heard of people using coupons, etc.
I'd probably share an appetizer or something
along those lines.

Why would there be any turn-offs with the use of coupons, as opposed to gift certificates (which Is a coupon or even moreso)... or knowing a head manager and getting stuff 'comped? If the guy is paying the bill, why would it matter how he legitimately takes care of the bill? I would find it really odd that a gal would find it (while flipping hair) "tacky", lacking manners, etc.

I would only see it as "tacky" if he was interrupting the date to scramble to his car to find a relatively meaningless one. But that tackiness could be applied to a lot of things, and certainly not at all required for a coupon of gift certificate.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 902
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 4:14:03 PM
Splitting a meal is awesome. Most places don't have any restraint on portion control anymore, so the heaping plate they give you is enough calories for 3 meals or more. Why screw around with taking home leftovers in 2 separate containers when both of you can clean one plate? If you're sitting across from each other at the table playing jousting forks and reaching too far for every bite, you're doing it wrong. Get on the same side of the booth - hip to hip - and snuggle in between bites. You already planned on the possibility of kissing if its a date, so how the hell is sharing a fork any worse?

If you plan on keeping your distance no matter what, then it's nothing but an interview - and won't be anything more. Why even bother with a meal plan?
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 903
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 4:22:52 PM
When on a first date, I always tell her right at the beginning that if she picks up the bill, and plays the rest of her cards right, then when we're finished with our wonderful meal she can take me straight home and get a fantastic strip-tease to Austin Power's theme song, and then some really awesome sex for as long as she wants. And that if she is extra sweet to me, I will wear her thighs like a hat until she is severely dehydrated.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 904
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 4:28:36 PM
^ And that's how it's done, folks.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 905
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 4:43:58 PM
You're in luck Drink!, I saw a couple women in my area that resemble Austin powers...I'll send them your way. :D
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 906
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 5:00:38 PM
Carvel Wednesdays are buy 1 get one free for you ice cream lovers! We
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 907
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 5:41:12 PM
If people want to go dutch on a dinner date, why not ask for separate checks? Awkward moment on who pays when the checks arrive eliminated. Problem solved.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 908
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:04:47 PM

You're in luck Drink!, I saw a couple women in my area that resemble Austin powers...I'll send them your way. :D

Arrrg!
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 909
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:08:15 PM
I'm with Drink.

Unlike some gals, I have no problem meeting, or even exceeding, her expectations of me after she foots the bill :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 910
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:29:34 PM
You two are making me giggle
Honest if who buys coffee is the biggest problem in someones Life
they are blessed
I'm buying my Man lunch tomorrow
I'm sure he will hmm, exceed my expectations :/
Alas, I have hair that would make a Preacher swear.. darn
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 911
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:00:23 PM

Msg. 926: Why would there be any turn-offs with the use of coupons, as opposed to gift certificates (which Is a coupon or even moreso)... or knowing a head manager and getting stuff 'comped? If the guy is paying the bill, why would it matter how he legitimately takes care of the bill? I would find it really odd that a gal would find it (while flipping hair) "tacky", lacking manners, etc.

I don't mind men paying for meals with coupons or gift certificates, but there is one type of transaction that has a drawback.

When a man presents a two-for-$x deal/coupon, I feel mild pressure to order from the two-for-$x menu, especially if I think he plans to pay. Most of the time, it means I'll order food that isn't my preference (so he can get the $x deal) and the total cost of our meals is more than it would be if I ordered my own choice of meal.

Men usually mean well when they make the offer, and for people who have dated a while, it's appropriate to share two-for-$x deals because enough rapport has been established to discuss menu choices in the context of money. But for first meets, it puts women in an awkward situation of either going along with a man's presumed preference or having to say "no," right off the bat.

 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 912
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 5:35:39 AM

When a man presents a two-for-$x deal/coupon, I feel mild pressure to order from the two-for-$x menu

Wait tho -- why would he need a 2-for-$x coupon if there's already a 2-for-$2 menu? The 'pressure' would be there without the coupon, if he put his order in first from the 2-for-$x menu -- angling you to order from the same selection of items. Not a coupon issue.

Now, if there was no such menu at that place, but he brought in a 2-for-$x coupon and you saw it standing in line, I would actually see that as slightly less pressure because it'd open up to Mention something. If you can read it from his hand to see the specifics in such a little piece of paper before ordering, it's pretty out in the open. It'd be really weird if you needed to be dating someone for a while for either party to say something about the usage of any deals [coupon or menu], or whether to split a pizza VS getting individual items, etc. - lol.

Guy would usually say: "Let me know if you wanted to get any of those items over there... I've had a 2-for coupon in my wallet that I want to get rid of, it applies to those...," or he wouldn't be flashing the coupon around, and just pull it out after the order's rang up and he sees he could match it.

But yeah, whether it's from a coupon or from the menu 2-for (or special), if the guy has no game, he *could* make it awkward for an already potentially awkward 1st-date or something, but it wouldn't be that hard to avoid at all. Little 'game' would be necessary.

The actual Real 'game' that comes to mind would be Not to use it, as many gals will claim & think they don't mind and all, but really, in their back of their minds not like it, and it will many times unfortunately be at least an 'enhancer' to judging a guy if there's other vague/stereotypical 'signs' that he may be cheap or whatever. I think the "unless we've been dating for a while" thing more comes into play when the gal's got a feel for him that he's not "cheap", even though she doesn't want to feel hasty & picky/judgmental by some mere coupon. But many of us are conditioned not to like it when on a "date", and to assume 'cheap' by association when we have our back-of-the-mind goggles on to look for pros & cons about someone new.

IMO: Guys should accept it as that's the way things are, and others should accept people outside the dating arena making fun of the silly/unnecessary cultural conditioning.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 913
hey, let's talk about restaurant francises
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:12:44 AM
"I like my woman just like I like my coffee:Light, sweet, and with a delicious fragrance"

>>>I prefer women the way I usually get my coffee--hot and in my lap.

Carvel ice cream, I think we've only got two left in the state. Customers have to go to grocery stores to get Fudgy the Whale. Then again, we lost Hardees and Alan&Wright. But those with a DunkinDonuts morning addiction couldn't find one around the corner when they went to visit relative out west.

"IMO: Guys should accept it as that's the way things are, and others should accept people outside the dating arena making fun of the silly/unnecessary cultural conditioning."

Bingo.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 914
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 1:25:47 PM

Msg. 937 (Quoting me in msg. 936): When a man presents a two-for-$x deal/coupon, I feel mild pressure to order from the two-for-$x menu

Norwegianguy said: Wait tho -- why would he need a 2-for-$x coupon if there's already a 2-for-$2 menu? The 'pressure' would be there without the coupon, if he put his order in first from the 2-for-$x menu -- angling you to order from the same selection of items. Not a coupon issue. …I think the "unless we've been dating for a while" thing more comes into play when the gal's got a feel for him that he's not "cheap", even though she doesn't want to feel hasty & picky/judgmental by some mere coupon.

^^^ I don’t mind men paying with coupons or gift certificates. Message #936 isn’t about whether a man is cheap. It’s about a particular type of transaction and the level of contentment for both parties.

When a man presents a two-for-$x coupon or menu (either one), I feel mild pressure to order accordingly because he has indicated a preference by suggesting it. He has subtly (or not subtly) told me how he wants to order and that my participation helps him with an offer for both of us to enjoy his choice of a good meal at a fair price. This applies even if we're each paying for our own portions. The pressure is slightly more intense if I believe he plans to pay.

Msg. 936 says that offering a two-for-$x coupon or menu tends to steer the direction of the other person’s order, especially on a first meet because rapport hasn’t yet been established. If a man sincerely wants his date to order whatever she wants, he is better off not to suggest a two-for-$x purchase.

At the risk of making this a long post, I’ll give you an example. During a recent first meet, a gentleman took me to a restaurant that has a two-for-$x menu. Our table lacked the two-for-$x menu, so he requested it from the waitress and offered it to me. Although he told me to order whatever I wanted, it was clear that he preferred to take advantage of the two-for-$x deal. What he didn’t know is that I was in the mood for a sweet potato loaded with butter and cinnamon. I opted to keep quiet about my preference to make his evening more enjoyable.

It would have been less expensive overall if he had ordered what he wanted and I had ordered what I wanted, but in his excitement to offer me a “whole dinner” deal at a reasonable price, our connection was lost.

I know little about him because it was a first meet. He insisted on paying the bill, so it didn’t occur to me that he is cheap. Instead, I left the restaurant wondering if he is the type that likes to steer (or worse, control) events. I haven't formed a firm opinion, but if I see him again, I'll pay attention to see if there is a pattern.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 915
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 1:56:37 PM
Good Grief People, Stop with the game playing.

You've been asked out, the presumption being the asker is footing the bill (unless an accommodation has been reached before hand), why the walking on egg shells? There is too much game playing trying to get in someone's head instead of just being yourself. If the asker presents a coupon/GC and it doesn't cover what you've got a hankerin' for just ask if he/she would mind a change up. If the asker throws a fit you've got your answer w/o having to ponder the lint in your navel until the next time you meet - if you do.
Of course it may be that the asker is in a poor way at the moment and could then point that out and ask for forgiveness and explain the circumstances - been there, albeit a long time ago. If the "in a poor way continues" and it's not your cup of tea well then you've got another answer; but, you are not then sitting around stewing over would'a could'a should'as.

I understand being considerate - were a lovely lady to ask me out to a chop house I wouldn't order the surf and turf w/o a go ahead, but is it possible one can take consideration too far? Lord have mercy -- it's like being at a 4-way stop and everybody's waving everyone else to go first. Wake me when it's over!

TK
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 916
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 4:12:14 PM

Lord have mercy -- it's like being at a 4-way stop and everybody's waving everyone else to go first.


I really don't understand how complicated people make this stuff up to be. The only reason anyone ends up in an uncomfortable financial situation is because in the small talk that SHOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED before the date, you could have easily discussed such logistics. Why in hell is it so hard to bring up limits on first dates? How many people in here are so stupid to think that they can find a match off a FREE dating website that doesn't have a budget or limit to their fun?

Why does it disappoint people so deeply when they don't hear, 'The Sky is the Limit?"

Anyone in here claiming money is not an issue is lying - either directly to you or to themselves. Be assertive. Make your limits known. Make your expectations heard. Doesn't the whole damn thing go smoother when you actually plan it? If they refuse to date because you ruined their 'buzz' when they find out the sky is NOT the limit, how is that a bad thing?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 917
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 5:16:54 PM
I draw the line when they say they want to go to Paris for lunch, and then to London to do some shopping after.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 918
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 5:17:54 PM

Message #936 isn’t about whether a man is cheap.

Yeah, but the inserted question is whether that's a by-product of it if/when it's handled a Certain way (like your example). A guy paying for a bill doesn't make him not cheap, especially if there's a special involved. A guy letting a gal pay some of the bill doesn't mean he is cheap either. Point is, it's the context of the situation where one should draw a question mark.

When a man presents a two-for-$x coupon or menu (either one)

Bring your own menu? "Waitress! This menu here says full-dinner steak dishes are 2 for $1!" "Sir, that's not our menu. That's written in crayon, by the looks of a 10 year old.." "Let me speak to your manager! .... [looks to date] ... Sorry for the delay babe, I got some pull around here..." ;)

If a man sincerely wants his date to order whatever she wants, he is better off not to suggest a two-for-$x purchase.

It's the same as walking into an Italian restaurant -- where there's always the option to split a pizza. So he shouldn't make it obvious he's Looking at the pizza selection and not demonstrating seriously looking at the other pages on the menu, if you don't know him well?

How well you know him or not shouldn't play a role. If you Honestly Aim to pay for your own (otherwise you wouldn't ever offer, right?) -- then there should be no awkwardness if he's looking at the family pizza section, 2-for section, etc. You could have had pizza last night and rather be in the mood for a baked potato covered in BBQ sauce. Him looking over the pizza section saying "Hmmm, bacon or green peper... what do you like?" could easily be answered by "I'm not in the mood for pizza, actually... I had some last night. I'm thinking the baked potato in BBQ." Why would that be awkward (besides having a like for BBQ on baked potatoes lol)? Sure, his idea is a money saver, just like coupons or restaurant specials can be, to share a pizza (but also popularly done).

But any guy with any 9th-grade level 'game' is going to say something like "What do you think about getting something on the 2-for menu?". If the gal is unnecessarily lying and saying "Oh, I can do that," when she wanted something else -- that's her own fault. If the guy (or gal) looks over said 2-for menu and says nothing to the other person, and orders first to the waitress and orders from that 2-for menu -- yeah, that's kinda awkward/rude -- regardless of who's paying.

IMO, it's how it's handled -- which is going to be No Problem by default... one would have to be clueless for it to go weird/wrong by not saying anything and just assuming they're going to share a 14" or 16" pizza -- or they're both going to order from the 2-for side-menu. Quite an easy thing to avoid by bantering about things on the menu! :) Then it wouldn't be a problem at all.... IF the gal truly has not even slight disdain or more about a guy liking the idea of using a coupon, or ordering from a specials menu.

My point: It's not that he (or she) has to go out of their way to be PC or have to work thru difficult/awkwardness when having a desire to use a coupon or order from a 2-for side-menu -- it's quite Easy and simple. Assuming the other is going to split the pizza you want, or order from your the same 2-for menu -- and only at best giving a half-hearted "Well, you can get what... :(" -- they're just being a bumbling idiot - lol.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 919
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 5:32:35 PM
And Mr. Maleman.......

I hate when they offer lunch in London.....shopping in Paris....and shoes in Milan....sigh....

Cause....I don't know about the rest of you ladies.....that is just too much to do on one date!
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 920
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 5:52:43 PM

Msg. 940: … why the walking on egg shells? There is too much game playing trying to get in someone's head instead of just being yourself. If the asker presents a coupon/GC and it doesn't cover what you've got a hankerin' for just ask if he/she would mind a change up. If the asker throws a fit you've got your answer w/o having to ponder the lint in your navel until the next time you meet - if you do.
Of course it may be that the asker is in a poor way at the moment and could then point that out and ask for forgiveness and explain the circumstances - been there, albeit a long time ago. If the "in a poor way continues" and it's not your cup of tea well then you've got another answer; but, you are not then sitting around stewing over would'a could'a should'as.

I understand being considerate - were a lovely lady to ask me out to a chop house I wouldn't order the surf and turf w/o a go ahead, but is it possible one can take consideration too far? Lord have mercy -- it's like being at a 4-way stop and everybody's waving everyone else to go first. Wake me when it's over!

^^^ With respect to “getting in someone’s head,” the point of meeting people is to get to know them. We want to see how they treat people. What is their style of relating to others? If they err, does it tend to fall on the side of self or others? Is there compatibility?

I agree that people have bad days and sometimes misunderstandings happen. It’s also true that over time, people show patterns of behavior.

In my story about the gentleman (msg. 939), the two-for-$x request wasn’t a casual case of a man noticing a menu and saying, “This looks good.” He asked the waitress to bring the two-for-$x menu, and then handed it to me. His words said, “Order whatever you want,” and his behavior said, “Order from the two-for-$x menu.” His behavior went beyond my general point.

My point in message #936 was this: For first meets, two-for-$x purchases put women in an awkward situation of either going along with a man's presumed preference or having to say "no," almost immediately upon meeting.

For me, money isn’t the issue. Consideration for each other is the issue. Since people don’t know each other well on first meets, it’s best to err on the side of consideration for the other person. If there is compatibility, there will be plenty of time to split pizzas and share coupons on future dates.

It’s okay if we don’t agree. People can have different perspectives and still enjoy the conversation.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 921
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:12:34 PM

I've heard of people using coupons, etc.
I'd probably share an appetizer or something
along those lines.


There was a thread about using coupons on a date in 2013. Some women didn't like the idea. The thread turned into insults and was eventually closed.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15842478.aspx
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 922
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History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:28:30 PM
^^^^^ I saw that I was the last poster to that thread. Did I cause it to close down?
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 923
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:47:40 PM

When on a first date, I always tell her right at the beginning that if she picks up the bill, and plays the rest of her cards right, THEN when we're finished with our wonderful meal she can take me straight home and get a fantastic strip-tease to Austin Power's theme song, and then some really awesome sex for as long as she wants.


Okay, Since there is no guarantee of his words, and not way of verifying if his deal or "agreement" is beneficial for her.
I would say to her that It is important to make him sign a document that declares clearly, that If he does not meet HER expectation on the " as long as she wants" quote, he will do a full refund to her, plus the interest of 50 %, for all the time, hope, and money lost.

Here are some things that she has to worry about before she agrees with his "deal":
What if the "really awesome as long as she wants," is a lie.?
What if when she asks him to do ALL 100 positions of the karma-sutra he refuses because he can't do it?
What happens if he does not know where is her G- spot?
What if he finds it, but doesn't know what to do?

Remember that She already played the "cards" (his words) just the way HE likes...The right way.!
Now it is his turn to play the cards just the way SHE likes...THE RIGHT WAY....Or money back, and in addition he will be dismissed !!..:-)
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 924
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/23/2015 4:38:10 AM
Hehe, april, maybe you're not all that bad after all.

Ok, so...obviously I'd be busy for an unusual period of time. Plus, I'm required to perform 100 positions of the karma sutra, and I'm getting that you won't communicate at all as to where your particular g-spot may be, nor what you like having done with it...

Well, my question is, how wonderful of a dinner did you treat me to, and how extra sweet were you to me? Also, why are you suddenly entitled to an extra 50% upon a required refund? 50% of that extra sweetness? 50% more of a meal with the next meal being on me?

But I guess that at least the Austin Powers theme song for my strip tease is ok by you. That one doesn't seem to be in question.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 925
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/23/2015 4:44:55 AM

There was a thread about using coupons on a date in 2013. Some women didn't like the idea. The thread turned into insults and was eventually closed.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15842478.aspx


I remember that thread. People in there couldn't be any more obvious that it's deeper that the gesture of offering to pay.
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