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 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 951
Paying for a datePage 39 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)

@Belle...if you re-read what you quoted, that IS what I said...lol Made the mistake of bringing guys , who I was actually going out with by that point, to my country house and then would have to go through and 'cleanse' the place with sage and a mental meditation that removed their energy from the house....

By the time I was in my late 20s, I learned to wait until we knew each other better BEFORE bringing them up there!!! LOL

Was GLAD whn we finally sold the place, frankly.... :/


Oh, my bad, I thought it was the opposite :-P
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 952
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/25/2015 1:52:52 AM
BelleAtlantic :


...I could design a survival-type reality show that would actually be fun to watch...
...so when is the show gonna air?

Well, do you know any show producers able to invest a lot of money or get it together from elsewhere? I don't. If you do, I can certainly come up with a decent presentation so they can decide if they think it's worth any investment or time.

But if it got past that hurdle, I still have the part where I try to insure that my idea isn't just stolen and can secure a little something-something for my time and effort, and I feel like the idea isn't going to be changed so much that it's ruined or have some hokey-azzed b.s. done to it on the way to development. And that's the part I hate. And I mean hate.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 953
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/25/2015 11:59:22 PM

99.99% of coupons in NYC, require you to present them from a very beginning, even make reservations most times. I usually leave a generous tip, and even more so if the savings are deep.

Remembering correctly, a specialty coupon or gift certificate would want to be presented beforehand so they would have to nix then re-enter the order. Little x% off papers or discount cards just taking off the bill weren't required, but the issue would be order-changing ones (buy this get this free/x% off) would. Anyway, it wouldn't be a huge issue -- although systems vary, and you'd think one's computer system would be to date since then. Rarely did people ask. Probably best to say all-upfront so ringing it in would avoid complications of the risk of re-ringing it in as some may. But anyway, we're getting kinda off topic, except the "revealing" it in front of the date, which I guess is the whole point to this. Most don't want coupons/discount-club-cards/gift-certificates because they want full-retail money Spent On them to feel "worth it", underneath it all. I think people stretch the whole "Oh, they're cheap though," even if someone pointed out them stats saying otherwise that there was no real risk and him being cheap would be revealed elsewhere. I guess it's kind of like getting a 50% discount on a ring for an anniversary gift -- of even a great diamond ring.

"Oh, I got the same ring! Aren't they awesome?"
"Yeah, my fiancee got this for only $500 -- where a good standard deal would be $2,000. He bought it thru some online thing where he won a special offer..."
"OH. So you're just, like, some special offer? Geez! What, does he buy you birthday presents cheap thru newspaper coupons?"
"Well, he gets me good stuff... but... so what if he did? It's what he gets me right?"
"Girl, What he gets you is about How he gets it and how much he pays -- or shows how much you're worth to him. You gotta understand that..."

Again, fictional dialogue. :)

But if they wouldn't visit (that establishment) any other day, wouldn't you think that it's about the deal, not the company?

No -- that POV reveals the assumption of someone being cheap if you're Only going on that. Most places won't have Actual deals on date nights, for one. So if you have a date on a Wed evening, you'll likely to find some sort of deal at a variety of places -- not the other way around. Should one Avoid a place that has a good deal? Of course not. "Oh, sorry honey... we have to leave. They have some good deals on stuff I love here, and I think you'd like. Thing is, I don't want you to think I'm all about the specials they have tonight, instead of all about you..."

Basically, if he's just focused on a deal instead of her, it really wouldn't be about a place having a deal or whatever -- even though that Could obviously be part of a cheap guy's thing (but so would many things; don't have guilt-by-association come into play). You'd see it more of going to a cheap place with specials on top of that that's not so convenient, but... man, such a great deal! And obviously a guy indirectly putting Pressure on taking advantage of a deal, etc. Those are the indicators -- not merely going somewhere where there's an appetizing deal that may or may not be utilized at a good date place.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 954
Paying for a date
Posted: 6/12/2017 10:01:50 AM
If profiles are visible after 3 dates then we're going Dutch until they're not.
 shaedow
Joined: 8/18/2017
Msg: 955
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/27/2018 12:23:05 PM
In this day and age of equality, I still like to pay however the exemption is when she picks the place, and the day, calls it an early night and her bill along comes to around 65.00 without tip. Luckily she timed her bathroom run too soon and the waitress came back just as she arrive back and she immediately said separate checks.

I thought this is a modern lady and doesn't want to feel obligated for a second date or feel she owes anyone, cool.

I haven't heard from her since, Now I am thinking she was hoping I would interrupt and pay the whole tab. I am not going to pay that kind of money entertaining someone during the week so they can try out some new expensive restaurant, then run home afterwards.

there is a fine line between being a gentleman and a sucker.
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/27/2018 3:06:57 PM
I don't mind paying for the first date. I'll even pay for the second date but it would be nice if she suggests paying for something. I don't see a forth date in the future if I end up paying for all of the third date too.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 957
Paying for a date
Posted: 4/27/2018 3:38:17 PM
I have found that it is much easier to pay my own way on dates.

Just makes it less complicated that way.

Heck it's been so long since I've been on a date, I wouldn't know how to act.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 958
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/27/2018 5:39:49 PM
Have you ever opened a door, stepped into a room, and suddenly realize, you have been there before?
In a former lifetime!
(She screams, twists, trips over her own 2 feet, crashes into a poor unsuspecting POF'er behind her, )
"Quick, turn around, RUN!" No one is safe in here!"
 Bouncylass
Joined: 4/3/2018
Msg: 959
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/30/2018 7:43:26 AM

but it would be nice if she suggests paying for something.


It should be like that. Men shouldn't have to pay for everything all the time. That's just ridiculous. For example, if you go to movie, she might pay for snacks and he could get the tickets. If you pick up all the bills, don't get upset when you realize she’s a gold digger.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 960
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/30/2018 7:57:52 AM
When I was with my ex. I paid for everything. Every date and more. WE dated for 4 years and I can recall her paying for lunch twice.

My current GF paid for part of our first date and I was shocked. I paid for dinner, then we went bowling and she insisted on paying. Then I paid for drinks at a lounge later .

She also will grab the bill before I can sometimes where were out .

Ive never known a woman to do this so its very refreshing.
 Bouncylass
Joined: 4/3/2018
Msg: 961
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/30/2018 8:12:28 AM
It's nice right? She's a keeper. Wifey her! I'm teasing...Take your time and take things as slow as you like...just in case... test the waters and whatnot.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 962
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Paying for a date
Posted: 4/30/2018 8:40:19 AM
It is really nice. Not to mention she has a ton of great qualities I dont find in women these days. Very responsible, very funny, not a feminist , still has old school values.

Still early though but we click very well and have lots of short term plans including travel.
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/7/2018 11:30:37 AM
I met someone a few weeks ago. We went out for most of the day on the first date (2 stops to eat), hung at my house for the second date (I picked up wine and ordered pizza) then we went out last Saturday night. Good woman and fun to be with but... I've paid for everything. Don't know where it's going to go from here.

I haven't read all 40 pages in this thread but have read a bunch of them. There was a discussion about suggesting something like "I'll take care of this and you can pay for _____ later". I don't think it should have to be said. Maybe common courtesy of each person paying here and there instead of it all being on one person which is usually the guy? When I go out with friends (male or female), sometimes I pay, sometimes they pay and sometimes we split it. There isn't any thought that goes into it. It just happens.

Something I have noticed while dating over the last few years, woman that have a decent income (over 100K) seem to be less likely to pay. Or maybe it's just been the ones that I go out with. While the women that just do "ok" tend to pay more. Not all the time but it's noticeably gone that way.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 964
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/7/2018 1:40:44 PM
I believe in good ol' fashioned, ..............communication. I can't read his mind, he can't read mine.
In the past, I learned to never ever assume. No 2 men are the same, no 2 women are the same.
Assuming...............is an expectation. Expectations have a way of falling .... crashing in mid flight.

From day one, BF was adamant about paying for dining out. I let him.
When traveling I make lodging reservations online, I pay.
Concert tickets, online, I pay.
New parts, accessories to the bike, we share.

My point? Assuming got my ass chewed. I much prefer to inquire. Save my ass
 UnknownFox
Joined: 4/7/2018
Msg: 965
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/7/2018 2:58:27 PM
I personally don't mind paying for the first date, but I feel this is just what I was raised on. However I do feel it should be expected to share the cost eventually if we are going to date or go further.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 966
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/8/2018 8:19:13 AM
I took my girlfriend out to dinner at an Indian Restaurant last night for our 5th date.I paid because she made me dinner at her house for our 4th date last Friday.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 967
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/8/2018 8:36:19 AM
^^^ I’ve never heard of the opposite scenario - a woman paying because her boyfriend made her dinner at his house. Why not? Men are more adventurous cooks than women.
 Cryptofabulous
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 968
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/8/2018 10:50:05 AM

I’ve never heard of the opposite scenario - a woman paying because her boyfriend made her dinner at his house. Why not?

Because when it's early in the relationship it can be viewed two ways...
...cute and romantic OR "cheap **stard" - all depends on the woman...
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 969
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/9/2018 3:44:26 AM
Why don’t women try to impress men by showing that they’re not cheap? I’ve never seen an ugly woman in a Mercedes Benz.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 970
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/9/2018 4:07:47 AM
^^^
And how many Mercedes have you seen in your lifetime?
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 971
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/9/2018 9:14:42 AM
Ugly women who have money, don't waste it on a Mercedes Benz.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 972
A nut paying for a date
Posted: 5/9/2018 1:37:15 PM
"I’ve never seen an ugly woman in a Mercedes Benz."

>>>even as a car guy...i'm not sure how to take this. I once checked out a beautiful convertible, black paint reflecting its surroundings, chrome rims sparkling in the sun...and then saw the driver's face. It would stop a clock, b/c the clock would be using its hands to cover its eyes, and its second hand would need a minute. then I heard my shotgun passenger utte, "ohmigawwwwd!" and I laughed b/c she obviously did what I just did...but not as quietly. My friend wondered out loud how many times a day that poor driver watched people's facial expressions.

"ugly women who have money, don't waste it on a Benz"

>>what do they waste it on? I'm guessing they invest in surgery, but..maybe they invest in a car uglier than them so they look better? (I'm thinking, Pontiac Aztec)
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 973
A nut paying for a date
Posted: 5/9/2018 1:53:32 PM
^^^
"ugly women who have money, don't waste it on a Benz"

>>what do they waste it on? I'm guessing they invest in surgery, but..maybe they invest in a car uglier than them so they look better? (I'm thinking, Pontiac Aztec)


Says the guy with no picture~
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 974
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A nut paying for a date
Posted: 5/9/2018 2:36:25 PM

>>what do they waste it on? I'm guessing they invest in surgery, but..maybe they invest in a car uglier than them so they look better? (I'm thinking, Pontiac Aztec)

I wasted mine on stock in Amazon and Apple.
I'd consider that surgery but it apparently won't help much if I don't lose weight.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 975
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/11/2018 12:50:31 PM

It should be like that. Men shouldn't have to pay for everything all the time. That's just ridiculous. For example, if you go to movie, she might pay for snacks and he could get the tickets. If you pick up all the bills, don't get upset when you realize she’s a gold digger.


And not just that, but with how disposable dating has become today, where you're more likely to NOT have a second date, why would you even want to have the mentality of the guy has to pay.

In an established relationship, there's ways to equal everything out. But to pay for dinner for some girl that's going to completely forget I exist 2 hours from now, that's just stupid.
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