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 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 76
Paying for a datePage 4 of 73    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

Why not go dutch until the third date? Because, you know by then you are gonna


Could that be breakfast, lunch and then dinner? After a red-eye? ;)
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 77
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:05:55 PM

Where do so many women get off thinking that their special over men and worthy of special treatment from men?


If you don’t think a woman is “worthy” of special treatment, WHY in heck are you asking her out on a date? Hm??


I used to always set up a dinner on the first date. And I always paid. And only once did the woman feebly attempt to offer to kick in some money. So now, first dates are always coffee


Did it ever occur to you that maybe your date who “feebly” offered to pay for her dinner that you invited her out to, was uncomfortable with the situation and uncertain what to do? I know if a man expected me to pay for a date HE invited me on, I’d feel uncomfortable too. And guess what…..FRIENDZONE.

Why do you default to something being WRONG WITH HER, because she didn’t behave the way you wanted her to, without letting her know? Why didn’t you tell her upfront she was expected to pay her own way on a date with you?


Honesty is the best policy. If a man wants a woman to pay for dinner he should ask her will you pay to take me to dinner.


I agree!

What’s the problem for you guys who don’t want to pay? Why keep crying that a dirty filthy gold digger took you for five bucks at Mickey D’s when you can just simply ask her to pay for your dinner when you ask her out for a date, or at least tell her she is expected to pay her share? Why not spell it out clearly on your profile? Probably you could avoid countless, gold digging “dates” by simply being honest!

WHY the subversive intent, that leads to awkwardness, resentment, and the friendzone?
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 78
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:13:27 PM

WHY the subversive intent, that leads to awkwardness, resentment, and the friendzone?

WOW that would be a good thread to start! would you? pretty please?

My take, they are HOPING that the Holy Grail of Women on The Internet will show up...

Charlize, JLO, Meagan, Britney, Julia...their celebrity fantasy-crush will walk in & be everything they HOPED & more...

she walks over to them, boobs gently bouncing, hair flowing, lips glistening, gently parted, w/ her perfect pearly whites showing...her rack is just as perfect as he imagined, her a s s is fabulous, high & firm, her eyes....

& she keeps walking, cuz her husband the doctor/lawyer/Brad Pitt look-a-like was standing right behind him!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 79
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:16:06 PM
The term 'gold digger' gets thrown around a little too loosely, IMHO.

Interestingly, I've been told on 2 occassions that I should not have sprung for dinner, after they had the dinner of course.

Don't accept an invite to dinner if you're going to feel guilty that you might reject me later.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 80
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:32:36 PM
I have to laugh at the timing of this thread OP.
Background of my story is...
Last spring I talked to a guy from POF who lived about 2 hrs away. We agreed to meet on a Saturday afternoon and because he didn't know my city he was going to come to my house first. He had talked about riding his motorcycle down and going for a ride to a park etc. He didn't call to confirm or did he answer my pof message. 2 weeks later he got in touch with me and told me he was so freaked out that he talked himself out of coming down. Would I agree to go out again. I did give him a second chance.

A few days later he came down, gave me a hug and he smelled like an ashtray plus he brought his truck not a motorcycle and then told me that he had not had plates on his bike in a few years. Ok, not a big deal. I offered him a rocking chair on the front porch and asked if he would like some coffee and we sat there visiting for about 15 min when he said. I gotta go. Nice meeting you.

Now this is where it gets weird. He never spoke to me again after until last night. Sent me the usual "Hi how are you? How have you been?" I replied and asked "Why are you contacting me now?" Now get this... He said "Too bad you didn't get your free meal. I won't contact you again!" Then he blocked me! LOL

So this morning I changed my profile tag line to read... "Just here for the free dinners and HD rides.

It was so absurd. Had this guy been dwelling on the free meal idea since then? We didn't even have plans to go out to eat.

It got me to thinking though... I have been on this site on and off since Feb. 2008. I started adding up to the total of dinners that I have been treated to from a date on here. Grand total of 9 and 3 of those were take aways and one was Mc Donalds. (btw that was one of the best dates.) All I know for all these free meals I am supposedly getting, Im going to die of starvation soon. Y'all will pray for me, right?


As Always
LePew
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 81
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:40:05 PM

Now this is where it gets weird.


It's a good thing you told us, because I thought it started with the 4th sentence. :oD
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 82
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:42:14 PM
Let's keep the original title, please. When you reply to a post with the changed title, THEN you can change it back in the subject line, for proper Forums decorum. Thank you.

VVV I'd say maybe it's naptime.

Most of us veteran Forumites have generally good intentions, and would like to keep this Forum site up and running decently for the time being. IF we all think twice or thrice before we post or try to change someone else's post, that would help.

We need a few helpers, not hinderers.

S
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 83
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 1:48:43 PM
OKD, that is weird? I thought the whole no call, no show accounted for at least one quarter of the dates lined up by people on POF! :^)

Le Pew

Tall, what if I say no. LOL
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 84
flogging your old...issues
Posted: 1/16/2015 2:00:21 PM
the Hunt family? Yeah, I think their brother Mike worked where I used to, people kept calling for him.

Old money tends to stay old money by not blowing it on dumb things. That said, I have the same issue Joe mentioned, about car performance parts. I can't laugh at women about shoes or antique clutch purses, I have a load of old auto parts looking for a car to attach them to. and tomorrow I'll be up at the Big E grabbing more, duh.

Gosh, OKD lives further away from Mohegan Sun than I do, good for him for driving across the state in wintertime. For the many who don't know this casino--about as good as Atlantic City or some in LV, but found in a quiet corridor that likely wouldn't have anything else to stimulate the local economy. Its on a highway between Boston and NYC, so bands tend to cover their gas bill by doing a night or two there.

If you aren't going into the nightclubs, the dating is....interesting, if you're over the age of 30 like me. Women are definitely dressed for a night out, some women I might actually overlook were they not dressed in a little black or white, "hey boi check this out" tight short dress. As I've heard commented before, "somewhere in this state, there's a father who has no idea how his daughter is dressed tonight." so, let's of eyecandy. were I younger, I might have the odds in my favor, since there would be different people wanting different things. beats the selection in my small home town.

But jeez, any time I personally find a woman my age there who has as much personality and brains as she has looks...she's taken. No surprise, logically speaking. If a fellow doesn't want to spend much for a date, its a great place to go--glamour, nice restaurants if things go well, a mall for windowshopping (overpriced in some places to get people to hand back their winnings, natch), free concerts most nights a week, and of course, the excitement of people around you (sometimes) winning--certainly, cheering when they do.

As for the younger crowd, boy, you better know your game. I was standing next to some young lass waiting for Eddie Money to stumble onto the stage, and this PUA tried to pick her up using the song title, "take me home tonight". she was TOTALLY the wrong person for Mr. Spiky Hair to run a C&F routine on.

Tall, you bring up an interesting point. I'm just a deucebag (that's someone who loves 1932 Ford cars), what can I say. maybe it'll turn into another topic issue.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 85
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 2:05:39 PM
Saw the new title
prepared to share my Proctologist joke
But Tall warned you. I'm tattling on everyone!
>> Clooney <<<
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 86
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 2:06:21 PM
Who pays has always been an unspoken issue except in these partially anonymous online Forums where more people feel some freedom to express their true feelings about "unspoken" issues. In Western culture by generally accepted default, the man pays. Just has been that way nearly forever in the last few generations.

If you ask most men how they truly feel about it, only online in places like this Forum will you get some of the most straightforward about their feelings answers. THAT straight forwardness with their feelings/thoughts is what many women who may "claim" to want to understand men better COULD learn here. One of the prime benefits of keeping these Forums open and generally civil.

In public many of those men would never open their mouth about how they truly feel.

The subject is just too personal, and men are taught to just buck up and accept that specific cultural conditioning as well as others, if ever to succeed in developing any typical "relationship", or having any offspring.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 87
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 2:24:50 PM

2 weeks later he got in touch with me and told me he was so freaked out that he talked himself out of coming down. Would I agree to go out again. I did give him a second chance.

Red flag right there... You can almost Taste him putting the finger condom on... (per the title of your post). ;)

A few days later he came down, gave me a hug and he smelled like an ashtray plus he brought his truck not a motorcycle and then told me that he had not had plates on his bike in a few years. Ok, not a big deal.

Okay, you're obviously the type who walks into bad situations, being naive to it. I'm assuming he's some hottie, or you're incredibly bored and just want some company. Or you were just in the mood for a finger in the arse. ;)

we sat there visiting for about 15 min when he said. I gotta go. Nice meeting you.

Okay, that really is Weird. Again, a very Defining red flag there.... not to mention no finger play! ;)

Now this is where it gets weird.

No, it already got weird. The weirdness was written All Over the Place before he left, even. And he capitalized on it by going over to your house for 15 minutes on your porch and leaving.

He never spoke to me again after until last night. Sent me the usual "Hi how are you? How have you been?" I replied and asked "Why are you contacting me now?" Now get this... He said "Too bad you didn't get your free meal. I won't contact you again!" Then he blocked me! LOL

That's not when things got weird. How could you be surprised by anything? You walked into a wacky situation and experienced it beforehand. Even if he said "Hey, I have a hand-puppet collection, and I want you to come over and take pictures with me and my hand puppets and put them on your fridge!" -- that still wouldn't be the point where things got weird. :)

In reference to this Thread's topic -- those are situations where you can't group it among Guys and their unwillingness to cater free dinners to gals. He was weird & wack from the get-go, so that shouldn't really affect you on your impression of men in general. What SHOULD is if you roll decently well with a good guy, then all of a sudden he starts p!ssing and moaning about having to always pay for everything. THAT should affect you & disappoint you about the topic & the dating scene -- not something coming from a crazy who probably does have a hand-puppet collection that he shows off to his mom. :)
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 88
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 2:43:45 PM

Ladies, are you offended when a guy asks to go "Dutch"? Guys, are you ever embarrassed if a woman pays for the whole date?

If the OP is still present, some may wonder what made him post this thread, and what HIS recent personal experience has been that maybe motivated this thread...
 Supersoulson
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 89
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 2:56:05 PM

So this morning I changed my profile tag line to read... "Just here for the free dinners and HD rides.


Good for you !

This place is whack job central sometimes .
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 5:34:57 PM
OP...I found two threads that cover this subject that are newer than what you said on the first page.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2446008.aspx

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2712860.aspx
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 5:38:31 PM
If you don’t think a woman is “worthy” of special treatment, WHY in heck are you asking her out on a date? Hm??

Well, I think everyone's unique in their own way since everyone's different. However, if I were to ask a woman on a date it's because she appeals to me. That means I like her from what I see and what I may already know. It just means that she stands out to me. I generally treat others even total strangers with respect unless something about them repulses me, then I may just shun them.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 92
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 6:33:15 PM
If you don’t think a woman is “worthy” of special treatment, WHY in heck are you asking her out on a date? Hm??

^^^^
Yes!!!! Thank you!



Okay, my eyes saw the words salty bums at first.
I highly approve
*thumbs up*
 Supersoulson
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 93
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 6:45:27 PM
Call me old fashioned but I pay for all dates and I'm perfectly fine with it.


.... and it has NOTHING to do with fingers and/or asses, lol
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 94
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 7:08:10 PM
Maybe the best thing some men can do is have a date w/ a gal who is in the world's oldest profession...

Just watched the TV series on Showtime "Gigilos" what an eye opener!
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 95
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 7:16:25 PM
Most mature people generally have good intentions, and would like to keep this Forum active according to the TOS they agreed to before posting here. There are other more specific Forums available for the others.
 browneyesseeking
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 96
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 7:42:48 PM
Supersoulson - I am super hungry... I'll take you up on your offer😃how about Le Crocodile?
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 97
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 7:43:22 PM
Is it really this difficult?
Have to say it has been really simple for me, I pay the first couple of dates because I am "old-fashioned" for lack of a better term and I insist. After that for a while it always seems to be 50-50, no one keeps track. One buys the tickets, the other the food. Once in a LTR I pay when we go out. Why? Easy answer, in an LTR her place becomes the base camp and I get a lot of free meals, yes I do help. Grin So I take care of the nights out.
I get into LTRs with intelligent independent women and all this happens with very little discussion and certainly no argument.

Can say it got awkward only once, went some distance for a meetup and the plan was an extended time together since we were both travelling to get there. She seemed annoyed when I insisted on paying for the coffee we started with, so when we went for supper and the bill arrived I hesitated coming up with the words to be diplomatic about paying the bill, she ended up asking if we would go "dutch". I agree internally going DOHHHHH!!! LOL

At the age and independence level of most of the posters again "Is it really this difficult?"
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 98
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 8:02:01 PM
^^^^
I agree. I think it's more of a generational thing and the values that are important to you.

I can't imagine ever having the expectations of a woman paying for anything in the initial stages of dating. In fact I would probably be perplexed as to how to react if she suggested otherwise. But to each their own, right? :)
 Supersoulson
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 99
Lessons in modern dating, Chapter 9 : Finger in the ass
Posted: 1/16/2015 8:59:45 PM
As Mr Mackey would say ...

Not paying for your date is bad .... mmmmkay ?
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 100
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/16/2015 9:09:15 PM

There are women out there who have never paid for a date in their life and they never would. I know this because they post it in on these forums and places like this. When they are single and looking why don’t they post in on their profile??? You guessed it. They know that it would count against them


And some people would be best advised to reread the TOS and this: "Anything you post can not be deleted."
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