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 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 976
A nut paying for a datePage 40 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)
"Says the guy with no picture"

>>>I didn't think a pic of me in a Benz would have helped :)

"I wasted mine on stock"

>>>good idea. If we're slated to be alone, its respectful to ourselves to become self-supporting.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 977
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My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 12:21:26 AM
I doubt most of these forum guys are going on expensive dates where they should complain. Dates don't have to be expensive if you're creative, so I don't know what all the complaining is about. I think they're really complaining about not getting sex for money spent. Stop looking at women as prostitutes that aren't giving it up after you spend a few dollars. Go to a prostitute, then you'll really know what it feels like to have a woman's hand in your pocket. Guys too cheap to date are too cheap to go to prostitutes anyway. They keep hoping that cup of coffee they buy a woman is going to result in sex.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 978
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/12/2018 6:36:04 AM
This is a perennial topic in here, and saying the following feels like playing a broken record that keeps skipping. This may not be everyone's understanding, but it is more often than many realize but just don't see it...

...who pays for first dates is not a matter of equal financial burden or equal gender treatment. Conversations about it deteriorate into that, because they're not 'getting' it, but it's about something else. This correlates with what someone's after, and that's why it applies to some but not others because different people are looking for different things. However some of the ones that this does apply to don't realize it and that's why they have difficulty:

For people who want a serious long term relationship with mutual interest and a 'deeper connection'...and they're not looking for something wherein one person 'takes care of' the other or is a housewife or househusband...or neither is any form of male or female chauvinist...the first few dates should be for the purpose of getting to know each other in those initial areas. You decide to go on some first dates because you have an interest...you see a possibility, but of course you don't know. You're not trying to 'win' the other, or impress them, or 'make them like you'. Neither of you have decided prematurely that you already want the other...you're going on the first few dates to find out. You've made no foregone conclusions. You're not putting the cart before the horse. You go on first dates to begin finding out, both of you...not going on those first dates because you think that you already know when you don't even know each other yet. That is, if any kind of logic and honesty are at play.

So, both people are interested - because a situation wherein one isn't really interested and the other is...doesn't make any sense and should be an insult to the one to even go on a date. You shouldn't agree to a first date if you're not really interested and the other is there to 'win you'. It shouldn't even matter who asked who...they asked you because they're asking if you're interested - interested in finding out the possibility, interested in finding a relationship with someone. When you agree to go on a first date, that's what you're agreeing to in an unspoken way...if not, they you're being dishonest or deceptive.

And if both people are there on the first few dates for this reason, not having made any foregone conclusions about each other...there is no basis for the ritual of one paying for the other. It's in fact bizarre. To do so implies exactly the opposite of what I've described here. It may seem like it's not a 'big deal', and in real life practice it often isn't...it doesn't have to all go down this way literally. But it's still important to know what the other's mindset is. It's an important step in finding out about them and their intentions - which, again, is the whole point of the first few dates. Even that $2 coffee...isn't about the little-ole 2 bucks, and isn't about being petty and keeping score. It's about finding out what kind of person you are and what you're after...what's you're purpose in going on the first dates with someone. It's about whether or not you have the expectation of it, and how it does or doesn't change how you see the other person for wanting to go completely dutch. This tiny thing, right at the very beginning, can reveal a lot about who you are and what you're looking for. People who value and are looking for this kind of real relationship are keen to tune into this.

And all of the catch-phrases and counter-remarks against how this works...is just from some women basically being players, dishonest and manipulative, even if they themselves don't realize it. They know, even if unconsciously, that there will always be men who cater to the idea of always paying on first dates because those men know that is there in-road to dating that woman when she's refused by others for this. And of course those men will continue to legitimize this wrong thinking and those women will continue to do this way...on and on and on. Never having the spine and strength to see how they're sabotaging themselves.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 979
My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 6:58:57 AM
Cooking a nice dinner for my boyfriend often times costs just as much as paying for one in restaurant. So I dont think that women are getting off cheap doing that. Add a bottle of wine and dessert, plus my time for prep and cleanup. So yeah, Im not trying to be cheap.
Its always funny to read so many comments from dudes that claim they cant get a date for months or even years, then complain so much about paying for it once they get a woman to agree to go out. No wonder so many of you are still single.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 980
My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 7:21:51 AM

Cooking a nice dinner for my boyfriend often times costs just as much as paying for one in restaurant. So I dont think that women are getting off cheap doing that. Add a bottle of wine and dessert, plus my time for prep and cleanup. So yeah, Im not trying to be cheap.


Maybe the cheapskates should sleep w/ their $ & the rest enjoy life (& their meal) ???



Its always funny to read so many comments from dudes that claim they cant get a date for months or even years, then complain so much about paying for it once they get a woman to agree to go out. No wonder so many of you are still single.


The un-date-ables :0(

Lots of misogyny & misandry here!
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 981
My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 8:37:04 AM
Tell me if I’m wrong, but are men not also capable of cooking a nice meal for their girlfriends?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 982
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My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 8:53:55 AM
Of course they are. The thing is in the beginning dates, its really not a good idea for a woman to seclude herself in the home of a guy she doesn't know well enough yet. I like to offer home cooked meals, but not in the first few dates.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 983
My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 9:50:25 AM

Of course they are. The thing is in the beginning dates, its really not a good idea for a woman to seclude herself in the home of a guy she doesn't know well enough yet. I like to offer home cooked meals, but not in the first few dates.


But it’s ok for a woman to seclude herself in her own home with a guy she doesn’t know well enough yet? I don’t think it’s a good idea for a man to trust a woman he doesn’t know that well either. She could be a scammer or a con-artist.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 984
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My nuts hurt from no sex after being a bad date
Posted: 5/12/2018 10:36:19 AM
Of course that would apply to having a man over to a woman's place. That's why I said I wait. Hey, it can't hurt to check a woman out before you let her come to your place.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread. Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 985
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/12/2018 12:55:42 PM
Darn.

Last sentence of paragraph 4 should be "THEN you're being dishonest or deceptive" not "they".

In paragraph 6 should be "that is THEIR in-road to dating that woman" not "there".
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 986
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/12/2018 2:20:52 PM
This thread is already over 40 pages? and the other one "who pays" went like over 100? Lol why. The man pays; he also calls the shots. He decides to call back, to commit and to propose, and we hope he does!
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 987
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/13/2018 9:57:53 PM

But to pay for dinner for some girl that's going to completely forget I exist 2 hours from now, that's just stupid.


Well, well, well. Look what the rats dragged in.

Now, keep in mind I'm not excluding the possibility of the woman being a total flake and not responding to a guy again after what seemed to be a good first date. Sure, it definitely happens. But the vast majority of the time, if a woman agreed to a first date with a guy, yet didn't want a second, he very likely fúcked it up.

How?? By playing it safe, acting like a friend the whole night, trying to squeaky clean gentleman his way into her heart. I've said it before, but it's worth saying again - if you review the conversation you had with her that night, and you could have easily had it with your mother, you fucked *yourself*.

"Friends first" my ass. Attraction first. Treat the woman like someone you're attracted to and do it unapologetically.

p.s. - I Have never, not once in my entire life, ever done the "dinner date" thing to gain a woman's interest. The women I "date" have their own money and don't give a shit about mine.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 988
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/13/2018 10:14:17 PM
"treat the woman like someone you're attracted to, and do it unapologetically"

>>> at first, I agree with this. Cut to the chase. But then I put in terms of sales, and think this is how one scares away customers. I think the key word is "attracted". If we treat a woman like we want to lay her, that will scare her off. If we just show attraction, we may not..but then we have to avoid pedestalizing her. We have to show she's unique enough to be attractive, yet we can walk away. Its a lot easier, of course, if we are handsome. We have something she wants. Otherwise, all we have that she wants is....flattery. and we can overdose her on that, too quickly, and we're in doormat country.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 989
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:05:41 AM

>>> at first, I agree with this.


If we're going by results, Pig is finishing in the end zone and you're stuck in the friend zone...
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 990
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:36:19 AM
I used to want to go dutch but now men can do all the messing about if they want me, and this includes paying for stuff, they can make an investment if they're truly interested otherwise i'm not wasting my time.

There's no set way of dating. People should be doing what they want and if another person finds that compatible then it may work out between them.
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 991
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:42:00 AM
msg 1010:
>>> at first, I agree with this. Cut to the chase. But then I put in terms of sales, and think this is how one scares away customers. I think the key word is "attracted". If we treat a woman like we want to lay her, that will scare her off. If we just show attraction, we may not..but then we have to avoid pedestalizing her. We have to show she's unique enough to be attractive, yet we can walk away. Its a lot easier, of course, if we are handsome. We have something she wants. Otherwise, all we have that she wants is....flattery. and we can overdose her on that, too quickly, and we're in doormat country.


Whatta crock~

How are those 'sales figures' lookin'!?!
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 992
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:47:33 AM

If we treat a woman like we want to lay her, that will scare her off.


Come on. Any woman with even a modicum of sense knows you're on the date because she's someone you want in your bed. I'll tell you who they don't trust - the goody two shoes who bends over backward to always say "the right thing". Take the "I'm not like all the other guys" routine and bury it in the backyard. Bullshit is what will scare them off.

If she agreed to the first date to begin with, she obviously found you attractive on some level. The door is open. I'm not saying pound away endlessly with sexual innuendo, but sprinkle it on sparingly. There's a good chance she may even return fire and try to one-up you. Hell, there are also times when the woman initiates the pervy talk.

(sarcasm alert) Also, since I've never said this before, I'll say it now - if you're out at a place with a dance floor and you don't take her out there, you deserve to fail.

p.s. - nice hat, Skeezy. Do the moonwalk for me, you smooth criminal. ;)~
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 993
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:58:20 AM
^^^
p.s. - nice hat, Skeezy. Do the moonwalk for me, you smooth criminal. ;)~


Tipping hat to ReverendSwine~

;-)
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 994
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 2:22:03 PM
I always pay for the date and have no problem or issues with doing it. I also have fairly good luck with the ladies, might be the type of woman I prefer though. I like a lady who knows how to act like one. I don't care for floozies or women with low self esteem. They always seem the type that are willing to put up with these dimwits who biatch and whine about having to pay. I never hear a real lady complain about how some ex treated her, because she wouldn't allow it to begin with.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 995
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 2:50:25 PM

I never hear a real lady complain about how some ex treated her, because she wouldn't allow it to begin with.


been on the forums on & off since 2005...

IF YOU WANT TO GO DUTCH, GO TO HOLLAND
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 996
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Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 4:44:51 PM

I never hear a real lady complain about how some ex treated her, because she wouldn't allow it to begin with.


Exactly. We teach people how to treat us.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 997
the sales are the same as always, that's how i know i'm right :)
Posted: 5/14/2018 5:05:23 PM
"If we're going by results, Pig is finishing in the end zone and you're stuck in the friend zone."

>>>no doubt--even if I had ponytails, no one's touching my head :) we can only imagine why there's a diff in reactions--if women are coming up behind him, they're probably not seeing his attitude or his positivity. There's nothing wrong with being more attractive than other people. We all have things we offer to someone.

"any woman with even a modicum of sense knows you're on the date"

>>>heck its why most women won't date me--they already know the intention :) and i'm sure its why a bunch of women have refused to dance with me...they know from enough guys asking to know where that's going. Not that dancing automatically goes anywhere, I've had married women dance with me simply b/c they liked my style of dancing back then.

But putting your intentions on the table, does cut to the chase--if she isn't interested in my intention, then i'm not one of the guys here complaining about all the money spent on a first date. so that's my kneejerk support for it--don't waste time, take her temperature, and then you don't have to complain about wasting time and money. Of course, this site is full of women telling us men who are pushing sex on the first date are terrible. I'll be willing to bet, all those women won't mind some 10 pushing sex, but a 6, well, they'd like some courting first and getting to know the guy so they can find other things he has that turns them on.

So, maybe it helps some guys to know if they are the 1o in her eyes, or just a 6. Sort of like making the sale :) the customer who knows what he wants, is in and out--recognize that, you aren't annoying that particular customer with a sales pitch and scaring them off. Everyone else needs a little view of the sizzle rather than the steak, before they are warmed up to the sale.

"I'll tell you who they don't trust - the goody two shoes who bends over backward to always say "the right thing". Take the "I'm not like all the other guys" routine and bury it in the backyard. Bullshit is what will scare them off."

>>true, the nice guy who pretends he doesn't want sex, and chases the girl he thinks is easy b/c she dates terrible men, and then gets upset she keeps doing it and doesn't sleep with him even though he says he's not like the guys she dates...who can blame her for running for the hills.

and yes, a real lady only spends her time with men who treat her with the same respect she treats herself with. Its a subconscious thing. The floozies find their guys the same exact way--they date the guys who treat them with the same level of respect they treat their own lives with. it all works out by going up or down to the common denominator.
the sales are the same as always, that's how i know i'm right :)
Posted: 5/14/2018 6:33:46 PM
This whole how to date thing is getting deep. It should be simple. two people get together to see if they enjoy each other's company and hopefully there is at least some physical/sexual attraction. If there is a connection they go out again and again. It seems to go way beyond that now. It's like a physiological chess game from the beginning. Who messages who first, make sure your dressed well, who pays, have to say the right thing, don't want her to think your just in it for sex. Or maybe she's just in it for sex. It goes both ways.

I went on a second or third date a couple of years ago. The woman told me it was the best she had in a very long time. And it was very simple and inexpensive. We went for pizza then to a park along the water. There's no lights at the park so we had an amazing view of the night sky while listening to the waves crashing on the rocks. I carry binoculars with I took those out to give us an even better view of the stars and Milky Way. It was just a normal night out for me. I do things like that all the time. But she thought it was great and I had a very good time with her.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 999
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Paying for a date does not include sex
Posted: 5/14/2018 7:01:14 PM
As anyone can see, the issue of who pays is mostly for men that feel the relationship may end before they get sex, because that's all they wanted. Normal men ask women out on dates they can afford in an attempt to have a relationship. With that said, if a guy tells you to bring your wallet, you know he's concerned he's not getting sex, and he's cheap. For whatever reason, if a guy expects to go dutch on a date he asks the woman on, he should say so in advance.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1000
Paying for a date does not include sex
Posted: 5/15/2018 1:01:13 AM
^^^ WOW, so many misconceptions and assumptions about all men. Maybe some men just value equality in a relationship.
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