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 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 1001
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Paying for a date does not include sexPage 41 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)

I went on a second or third date a couple of years ago. The woman told me it was the best she had in a very long time. And it was very simple and inexpensive. We went for pizza then to a park along the water. There's no lights at the park so we had an amazing view of the night sky while listening to the waves crashing on the rocks. I carry binoculars with I took those out to give us an even better view of the stars and Milky Way. It was just a normal night out for me. I do things like that all the time. But she thought it was great and I had a very good time with her.


Every woman I have ever dated was always happy with whatever date I planned. Most were not really expensive and I never get any complaints. Most women just want romance and to be treated special, I don't think they need to be taken to the Keg or other expensive place to be happy. Some guys just hang on to a dollar like its the last they are ever going to make. One of the great things about money is you can always make more. Even if our date doesn't turn to romance, I would like my date to think back to our time together as a pleasant experience.


Maybe some men just value equality in a relationship.

equality and romance are two different things. When I hear my friends say they value equality in a relationship, I know they really define equality as money. So what you are saying is you value money in a relationship, that's fine if that's what you value but then you shouldn't wonder why you are not having any luck in the relationship world. You are bringing a knife to a gun fight, bring the right tool and you might have a fighting chance.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1002
if we're going by results, yes, the better looking reach the end zone
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:29:32 AM
if a woman wants you...then Olive Garden is fine. If a woman wants to ditch you...then your choice of Olive Garden is as good an excuse as any to ditch you.

"where you go" can be easy eclipsed by "who you are with". but if you're lousy company, then you better have a big...experience to take her on as a distraction. I've had dates with women not interested in me, but interested in where we went (based on how they treated me, and how they took people other than me to events they preferred). but hey, that's just "my sales figures". I'm sure there will be one person who'll challenge 'em but have nothing else to say :)

in the end--again--the first few dates is getting to know the other person. There should be some effort to show your best side to other person, but pretending to be some big spender you aren't, doesn't help you in the long run. unless you're hoping to spend your way into her bed and then run. if you already own what the other person wants, then you have a proverbial foot in the door--the date is your's to lose. and you just might. but if you're the one trying to make the sale...you aren't in the driver seat. Its springtime now and we can see, animals do what they have to, to mate. They sing as loud as they can, or they do some other mating dance to prove to the female they are the one worth partnering with. The rest of the year, they aren't going to sing so loud.

we can either step up our game, or accept what we get from our singing.

 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1003
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/15/2018 7:49:10 AM

equality and romance are two different things.


Some people find equality romantic. Not everybody’s notion of romance is the same. Whenever I’m out on a date I ask to split the bill. If she agrees she’s definitely a keeper because nothing is sexier than a strong, independent woman.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1004
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/15/2018 10:33:09 AM
Here we go again. The topic deteriorates.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1005
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/15/2018 10:36:34 AM

Some people find equality romantic. Not everybody’s notion of romance is the same. Whenever I’m out on a date I ask to split the bill. If she agrees she’s definitely a keeper because nothing is sexier than a strong, independent woman.


That's why it's never a good idea to just assume the woman has the same values as you when it comes to courting and dating; because not everyone's notion of romance is the same.

Tell her at the time you ask her out that you'd like to go Dutch. Give her the option to say, "No thanks". It's poor form to wait until you're already out on the date with the woman to tell her you want to split the bill.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1006
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You've got to be in it, to win it
Posted: 5/15/2018 11:45:39 AM
Forumfairy, it's nice to hear the opinion of a normal male for a change?

Kiss, With your hypothesis, do you then give your date money after she has you over for dinner, for your half? If you've been hitting women up for cash, then consider that's one reason why you would be dateless. You can keep doing that, it's your right, but then don't expect to have good results.

Mustang, yeah, a guy is really going out on a limb and taking huge risks in life by paying for a date:) By your hypothesis, a man may not see date #2, even if he pays for a date. So, with that being said, a woman may not see another date after having sex. I guess it's best then to play it safe and everyone should not date.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1007
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You've got to be in it, to win it
Posted: 5/15/2018 1:47:52 PM
Okay ladies, it seems to be a given that the guy should pay for the first date. At what point do you say "I got this".
You've got to be in it, to win it
Posted: 5/15/2018 4:12:54 PM

If she agrees she’s definitely a keeper because nothing is sexier than a strong, independent woman

We're all entitled to our own opinion. Mine is, nothing is a bigger turn off than a cheapskate.


Okay ladies, it seems to be a given that the guy should pay for the first date. At what point do you say "I got this".


After the third date is my opinion. There was a poll on my facebook page and most women said three dates as well. So that is probably a good time line if you are looking for reciprocation. I have women of all ages on my facebook and everyone who contributed said they would not go out with a guy who wanted to go dutch.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1009
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You've got to be in it, to win it
Posted: 5/15/2018 4:37:15 PM
Got what? Every date doesn't have to involve spending money. Her idea for a date doesn't have to either. It also makes a difference what everyone makes.

There was a guy that started a thread about how he was dating this younger woman with children and how they went out to eat a few times and then also cooked for each other, so she spent $. He still wanted to know when she was going to take him out on a date to spend $$$, LOL. He was an older Dude too, so I don't know what's up with that attitude and why he wants to feminize himself by being asked to be taken out on a date by a woman that probably has no extra cash. Problem is that same old thing with men not relating to women and thinking that money put into a date is to get them sex but now that he's had sex with her a few times, the bloom is off the rose and he's thinking now he doesn't have to spend money on a date to get sex. You spend money to go out and have a good time and enjoy life, it's not a trade-off to pay for sex.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1010
You've got to be in it, to win it
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:05:44 PM

Okay ladies, it seems to be a given that the guy should pay for the first date.".


No, it isn't. That's not how it works in my world and it has never crippled my "dating" life.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1011
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:09:10 PM

Kiss, With your hypothesis, do you then give your date money after she has you over for dinner, for your half? If you've been hitting women up for cash, then consider that's one reason why you would be dateless. You can keep doing that, it's your right, but then don't expect to have good results.


Splitting the bill and taking turns paying are both ok in my book. I would also cook at home for a woman. I don’t hit up women for cash. I’ve only had one date on here and she offered to pay for me. I refused and said, “Let’s split it,” instead. I’m not a cheapskate by any means. I don’t make much money, but I’ve bought homeless people lunch before. I’m very generous with my money for people who really need it. A woman with her own job shouldn’t need my money. If a man who doesn’t want pay for a first date is a cheapskate, what does that make the woman who doesn’t pay? Why does she get off scot-free from being labeled “cheap”?
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:44:59 PM

what does that make the woman who doesn’t pay?

A woman who wont accept anything but stellar treatment from a man.


Why does she get off scot-free


Dude, you make it sound like a bank robbery.

I've often said, men who whine over paying for dates usually have far bigger issues than that.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1013
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A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:50:56 PM
A man would pay because he's asking the woman out. That was nice and generous for that woman to offer to pay for your date. Every man I've ever gone out with wanted to pay for dates. Even though they're doing the asking, and paying, I'm still very appreciative.

A guy that doesn't want to pay for a date isn't interested in you. I don't see any men saying they were crazy over some woman, but refused to pay for a date. What I do see are men being worried the few dollars doesn't lead to sex, or they're not paying and obviously are not dating. These people that don't want to pay for dates are too cheap to spend money on themselves either most times. The cheap pof guy I briefly dated complained his ex-gf took her dogs on vacation. That was because he was too cheap to go out of town with her. He's got no kids, so I guess he's going to be asked to be buried with his money. At 58 years old, he's never gone anywhere, and has no interests, even though his profile said otherwise. I called him a professional complainer, about women and the people at his job.

Curiosity question, why didn't you let her pay totally when she wanted to?
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1014
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:53:36 PM

Dude, you make it sound like a bank robbery


If "dude" wants to be equal to women so bad, maybe he should SIT WHEN PEEING & take it in an orifice from another "dude" ;0)

Doesn't sound like he wants a woman anyway...
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1015
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 6:09:46 PM
^^^ I want a woman. Just a certain kind of woman. A woman who will pay for herself, who is generous, who enjoys sex, who has intellectual interests, who is supportive and doesn’t nag. Those are the maternal qualities I look for. Even our female ancestors were providers. They were gatherers who gathered up to 80% of the food. Only a very small part was meat hunted by men. Like I said before, I’m not cheap with people who really need help.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1016
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A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 6:15:03 PM

A woman who will pay for herself, who is generous, who enjoys sex, who has intellectual interests, who is supportive and doesn’t nag. Those are the maternal qualities I look for.



I fail to connect the dots, from ^ ^ ^ ^ above to the definition of "Maternal" below.

ma·ter·nal
[məˈtərnl]

ADJECTIVE
relating to a mother, especially during pregnancy or shortly after childbirth.
"maternal care" · [more]
synonyms: on one's mother's side · on the distaff side
denoting feelings associated with or typical of a mother; motherly.
"maternal instincts"
synonyms: motherly · maternalistic · protective · caring · nurturing · loving · devoted · affectionate · fond · warm · tender · gentle · kind · kindly · comforting · compassionate
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1017
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A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 6:46:45 PM

I fail to connect the dots, from ^ ^ ^ ^ above to the definition of "Maternal" below.

Look at the list of synonyms. Duh.
Part of being devoted et al is the idea of putting the other before yourself. That's what maternal people do for people they wish to care for. Wanting someone who doesn't think exclusively of themselves is usually a desirable trait.

Paying for a first date really is not big deal - it's not the cost involved or the action of paying that's an issue - it's the attitude associated with it. Being well-mannered is NOT the same thing as being gracious. There are some pretty 'proper' ladies out there than can be real tools, and it really doesn't matter the venue when they decide to get snarky.

I really dislike that "He who plans, pays" rule because #1 - it's not a rule - and it is inherently selfish in attitude. It makes the assumption the man has to do the work AND pay for it. Why the hell does choosing a venue and paying HAVE to be an exclusive role? It doesn't. For the most part, any couple that has some decent amount of communication between them can make a mutual decision. Paying for the date is a gift, not an obligation. It should be treated with that degree of grace and respect. It's not sex, a dozen roses, or a diamond ring - it's dinner - or maybe a drink - so stop blowing the calculus for the I.O.U. totally out of proportion.

"We teach people how to treat us," is very, very true - and actions we take - say more than anything else.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1018
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A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 7:46:33 PM
Really Danimal. I thought you were more astute than this.

1. A woman who will pay for herself, = "motherly · maternalistic · protective · caring · nurturing · loving · devoted · affectionate · fond · warm · tender · gentle · kind · kindly · comforting · compassionate. =NOPE

2.who is generous,= motherly · maternalistic · protective · caring · nurturing · loving · devoted · affectionate · fond · warm · tender · gentle · kind · kindly · comforting · compassionate= Can be, but no guarantee

3. who enjoys sex, =motherly · maternalistic · protective · caring · nurturing · loving · devoted · affectionate · fond · warm · tender · gentle · kind · kindly · comforting · compassionate= Oh certainly ALL mothers enjoy sex. After all that's how they got to be mother's right?

4.who has intellectual interests,= motherly · maternalistic · protective · caring · nurturing · loving · devoted · affectionate · fond · warm · tender · gentle · kind · kindly · comforting · compassionate= One can be intellectual without having a maternal bone in her body.

5. who is supportive and = THE only MATERNAL (by definition) characteristic in the list
6.doesn’t nag. = LOL, Mother's nag!
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1019
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 7:49:06 PM

A woman who will pay for herself, who is generous, who enjoys sex, who has intellectual interests, who is supportive and doesn’t nag. Those are the maternal qualities I look for.

I fail to connect the dots, from ^ ^ ^ ^ above to the definition of "Maternal" below.


Generosity and being supportive and having the patience to not nag are qualities that successful mothers need. A mother is also a teacher to her children, so intellectual intelligence is a maternal trait.

I’m may not be the wealthiest guy out there, but I’m very well-read and I have more than one degree. I’ll kick Trump’s ass in a intellectual debate.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 1020
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A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/15/2018 11:29:34 PM
The ‘who pays’ is a funny one for me.
I’d always spend some money on a date. My dates usually involve hours, food, maybe a coffee or drink, admittance to some venue maybe, so of course my card is coming out.
But if a guy gets angsty about who pays or makes a point of telling me about going dutch then it kinda puts me off.
I don’t wanna date someone hung up about those things.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 1021
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Does anyone else smell a dead horse?
Posted: 5/16/2018 3:04:31 AM

I’m very well-read and I have more than one degree

/cough/

a intellectual debate

*an intellectual debate
ftfy
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1022
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/16/2018 5:44:48 AM
"a guy is really going out on a limb and taking huge risks in life by paying for a date:) By your hypothesis, a man may not see date #2, even if he pays for a date. So, with that being said, a woman may not see another date after having sex. I guess it's best then to play it safe and everyone should not date."

>>>well, if he misses out on the best partner to procreate with, then he did screw up with his cheapness. Paying is relative. If he wants arm candy to impress people with, he better be the type of man the arm candy wants to impress other people with. if she's a science nerd and he's a science nerd and there's a free science convention going on the weekend of their first date...he might not have to pay for much besides a Saturn Sandwich and Solar Soda for her. If he's dramatically better looking than she is, she might approach him and pay :)

some poor people are trying to date as a way to get away from the predicament of their life. I know one couple that began long distance, hoping the other person was as well off as they pretended--they ended up getting married and having a child, figuring they'd declare bankruptcy to get out from under both their debts. Some people are just Eeyores. They really aren't comfortable unless there's something to be unhappy about. and out there someplace is a woman for them.

"A woman who will pay for herself, who is generous, who enjoys sex, who has intellectual interests, who is supportive and doesn’t nag. "

>>>and by what age, do you think she got married by a guy who spotted her for what she was and wanted to have kids with a woman like this?

" I’ll kick Trump’s ass in a intellectual debate."

>>>Chump kicks himself in the ass in debates. He contradicts his own prior statements.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1023
A man’s time is worth as much as yours
Posted: 5/16/2018 7:04:54 AM

>>>and by what age, do you think she got married by a guy who spotted her for what she was and wanted to have kids with a woman like this?


Are you saying there’s no good ones left for the middle-aged guys? Life is a learning process. Some women become better with age. They’re done with partying and hooking up with the bad boys, and they’ve learned what it takes to be a real woman.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1024
STAY HOME & MASTURBATE BEC> THAT IS ALL YOU CAN GET ANYWAY
Posted: 5/16/2018 7:34:03 AM
To the short, unattractive, cheap men in the forums who want the perfect woman:

HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU???

The same group will be b1tching & moaning next week, next month, next year, into infinity.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1025
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/16/2018 8:17:52 AM
^^^ But I thought you wanted to be whined and dined. That’s funny that you’re telling men to stay home and masturbate since women spend far more money than men on sex toys. Clearly a lot of women are staying home masturbating with their magic wands. Grown me don’t need approval on how they date. I have trouble dating because I’m on the autistic spectrum. I refuse to believe it’s because I want to split the bill on a date. Studies have shown that the majority of women would go Dutch. I believe there is s perfect woman out there for me, but my idea of perfect might be different from somebody elses’.
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