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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1076
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You're gonna be friend zonedPage 44 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)
Endless, Wow, you did get screwed by that judge, since they're supposed to go by your income. I would have revisited that decision by going back to court.



 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1077
You're gonna be friend zoned
Posted: 5/20/2018 9:21:23 PM

If so- spend 20 on a babysitter for two hours and pay for the whole date pick something you can afford- two hour walk in the park sharing a coke...
or saying does nt matter how much he spends?


Unfortunately, none of the dates I've gone on have been with local guys. More often the guy lives 2 to 3 hours away so we meet in a halfway spot. That's the problem with living in a rural area, there's slim pickings locally. So to go on a date I have to drive at least an hour.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 1078
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Cheapskatery isn't worth it.
Posted: 5/21/2018 5:00:49 AM


If so- spend 20 on a babysitter for two hours and pay for the whole date pick something you can afford- two hour walk in the park sharing a coke...
or saying does nt matter how much he spends?


It's a waste of time, effort, and money, if you ask me. Dates aren't responsible for baby sitters... but I know of a few who picked up that bill, too (the dates even bought take-out dinner for the kids). That isn't necessary and it shouldn't be expected, but it does happen.

A coke can be indulgently consumed at home or at a local park with many interesting people. Gas can be saved for a better opportunity. A babysitting expense can be better spent on herself, a cosmetic piece for herself or a baby sitter to get hair and nails done.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1079
Cheapskatery isn't worth it.
Posted: 5/21/2018 6:13:16 AM

Unfortunately, none of the dates I've gone on have been with local guys. More often the guy lives 2 to 3 hours away so we meet in a halfway spot. That's the problem with living in a rural area, there's slim pickings locally. So to go on a date I have to drive at least an hour.

Put on that new dress, tart yourself up w/ some makeup, & take new pix

as the pix are taken, imagine yourself to be Zena or some warrior princess, maybe Wonder Woman?

Smile into the camera & let your inner sexpot show ;0)

Then let them drive the entire 2-3 hours to YOU!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1080
OWN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Posted: 5/21/2018 6:20:26 AM
https://youtu.be/_uLoGnJLmhQ

July, you bear a VERY strong resemblance to the model in this vid.

The difference b/w her & you is attitude, get some positive attitude towards yourself!

IMO (not meaning to be offensive to women) you are an 8 who is thinking & acting like a 2
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1081
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OWN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Posted: 5/21/2018 12:15:15 PM
Making the guy aware of the cost of driving or babysitting or whatever it takes to show up can be done in a positive, constructive way. It doesn't need to include the resting b*tch face and it certainly shouldn't be kept a mystery WHY such face has shown up. Being positive about a date also includes not crucifying the dude for merely asking IF they wanted to split the bill, because some do.

The old Road House movie with Patrick Swayze kept saying, "Be Nice" while they escort drunks out of the bar. It eliminates a lot of unnecessary conflict. Kind of surprised people feel like that doesn't count for events that are even less rude and aggressive. Who knows? Show a little politeness, and you may be rewarded with a good time.

It's the vinegar vs. sugar debate.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1082
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OWN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Posted: 5/21/2018 12:38:59 PM
^^^^you're funny and sad with that statement, "Show a little politeness, and you may be rewarded with a good time." I don't even make my dog perform for treats. I love her and just give them to her. It makes her happy, and is a small thing to do to show gratitude for her companionship🐶
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1083
Cheapskatery isn't worth it.
Posted: 5/21/2018 3:56:24 PM

Smile into the camera & let your inner sexpot show ;0)

Then let them drive the entire 2-3 hours to YOU!


Lol, not so sure about sexpot photos. But I did go to the drugstore today and buy makeup after work. Googled what kind of makeup. You might think its crazy but never bought foundation in my life. Asking the makeup lady at the counter for help was about as difficult for me as asking the person at the Canadian Tire counter if I could get my wiper blades switched. But I guess its good to get out of your comfort zone at some point. And I did a little clothes shopping, bought a dress. I'll dress up and put on the makeup for my niece's dance recital next weekend. I can just imagine both my brothers teasing me now.

Not sure about having a guy come to me though. Last time I met someone in my town at the local Tim Horton's it seemed every relative I had in the area popped up there. It was really embarrassing too because it was a guy who I did not like at all after meeting but these relatives kept coming up to the table and asking me to introduce him and I worried that rumours would fly that we were an item.


The difference b/w her & you is attitude, get some positive attitude towards yourself!

IMO (not meaning to be offensive to women) you are an 8 who is thinking & acting like a 2


Well thanks for calling me an 8, I don't believe you but thanks for saying it nonetheless. You accused me the other day of not paying enough attention to positive comments so I'm really trying. I'm really trying hard to work on my confidence as a whole, trying to find a happier me. The whole clothes/hair/makeup thing I'm planning on doing is kind of about that. I'm tired of feeling like a bottom-dweller. And lately, with losing weight slowly but surely, I have been feeling much better about myself. Every time I do a half hour of exercise, I think it makes me feel more confident. And an elderly client yesterday told me my husband was lucky to have someone like me because not only could I make a good omelette but I was really pretty too. When I told him I had no husband he told me he'd marry me if he was half the age he is now and he made me blush. He's a nice guy too, totally not a creepy old man type so it was really nice to hear.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 1084
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Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:33:24 PM

Or, a guy could try not being petty over a few dollars for a movie. Enjoy treating your gf, then enjoy your home cooked meal. If you can't afford going to a movie, don't go. Find something free to do.

Who says women can necessarily afford to kick in anyway? I can just see the woman with $10 left for the week until she gets paid and has to buy you popcorn. This is why I will probably not date another pof guy, because so many are either cheap, jobless or a very low wage earner.


Don't worry, most of us wouldn't date you either, you're nothing special. Also, what if they guy is short on money himself? He's still supposed to just pay for you to have a meal or watch a movie? And then what if it's a first date and you never answer another call from him? He's supposed to just pay for you to go out when he's never going to see you again?

Here's the thing, princess... On POF, we're all strangers. If you're expecting to get the same treatment that we'd give our actual girlfriends, well, you're living in a fantasy. There's a huge difference between paying for someone that we're in an ongoing relationship with and paying for someone that we're probably never going to see again.

Want everything paid for you? Then try actually investing in trying to make a relationship happen. You expect the guy to cover the entire cost, but what are you bringing to the table? What's in it for him? And I'm not talking about sex. What does he actually gain from paying completely for your date when he doesn't even know that you're ever going to talk to him again, especially since that's become the norm in today's dating world?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1085
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OWN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Posted: 5/21/2018 5:01:01 PM

^^^^you're funny and sad with that statement, "Show a little politeness, and you may be rewarded with a good time." I don't even make my dog perform for treats.

Do you expect a guy do perform better than your pet for a date? Kind of unfair to expect a guy to have a furry tail that wags when he is happy. I suppose they could lick your face if they wanted a kiss... but I think most people would draw a line at taking a dump in their yard and expecting you to clean it up.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 1086
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Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 6:06:57 PM

What's in it for him?


What does he actually gain from paying completely for your date


The "pleasure" of her company?

Bwaahahahahahaaa.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 1087
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 6:19:25 PM
^^^I'd like to know the answer as well.
What exactly are you giving men that buy things for you in exchange?
Just your company?

I wouldn't go on a date if I couldn't afford to pay my own way and I always offer.
This is 2018....not 1918....
In my opinion....We've come a long way....baby.
I hate it when women want to go back to the 'Gone with the Wind' era.....
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 1088
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 8:00:44 PM
@ponyelvis82
Why ask a woman out to dinner and a movie if you think you wont ever hear from her again? That makes no sense. If youre not sure about someone, just invite them for coffee.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 1089
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Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 8:11:39 PM
For first dates, I pay for my own stuff. I also keep it simple: meet at a coffee shop or divebar, get there early so I get my beverage (and pay for it) beforehand. I also prefer that these first meets are on a weeknight because I can't stay out too late due to work the next morning. That way, if the meet is a bust, it'll be short anyway. If we like each-other, then we can plan a subsequent date on a weekend night and be out later.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1090
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Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 8:25:24 PM
Pony, what you wrote to me must be a joke right? You're being abusive to me because men ask me out on dates, and then pay for them? I'm not forcing them. Then you have this bull$hit hypocritical nonsense in your profile:

"We handle some scholarships and work closely with women's shelters. (we have plans to expand to this area because of how casually abuse seems normal here)"

Then there's this: - "I'm supportive and nonjudgmental. I don't believe in having to agree on everything. Differences are just as important as things in common."


I have no doubt you hit on those poor women that are having a crisis, you freaking low life abusive $hitbag.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1091
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Cheapskatery isn't worth it.
Posted: 5/21/2018 8:47:33 PM
July, I think you're a 10! You're a beautiful woman and you're smart. You don't need foundation. That's to cover up flaws on your skin, and you don't have any. Just because it's been hard to date, it doesn't make you less of a person. There are plenty of men to date, but you unfortunately live in a rural area and/or there aren't the right men living near you.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1092
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Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 8:58:52 PM

What does he actually gain from paying completely for your date when he doesn't even know that you're ever going to talk to him again, especially since that's become the norm in today's dating world?


One guy paid for me a date out just because i had had a bad time and he wanted to restore my faith in people, he's done a few other nice things for me also. Sometimes people do something for nothing, maybe it makes them feel good but not everyone has an agenda. He does own his own businesses and is quite well off so could afford to do that. I usually go halves but it was nice that someone cared enough to just treat me because he thought it would show me that sometimes people want to do things for you instead of see what they can get from you.

I think people should date in the way they want to. If they enjoy paying for things then let them, and let them find the people who enjoy being paid for. If they want to split the bill it's up to them. But they should start any relationship in the way it means to go on so that it's clear from the beginning if your lifestyles and finances are compatible.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1093
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 9:15:16 PM
I find that the dinner date has been overdone. When people think of a date, the picture conjured up in their minds is most likely a romantic evening at an upscale restaurant. There are so many other options to choose from if people are creative - things that don’t cost as much as dinner dates either. I’m not that big a fan of eating out myself. I prefer to cook at home.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1094
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Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 10:55:50 PM
^^^^^I feel the same way.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1095
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/22/2018 3:46:49 AM
Holy shit. I must be in the Twilight Zone right now.

Rockntruckerponyelvis-whateverthehell, I hope you're wearing some Depends right now, because you'll probably piss yourself over the fact I agree with (most of) your last post.

Then we have....


I wouldn't go on a date if I couldn't afford to pay my own way and I always offer.
This is 2018....not 1918....
In my opinion....We've come a long way....baby.
I hate it when women want to go back to the 'Gone with the Wind' era.....


And now *I* need Depends due to pissing *myself* over agreeing with this poster.
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/22/2018 4:42:18 AM

Don't worry, most of us wouldn't date you either, you're nothing special. Also, what if they guy is short on money himself? He's still supposed to just pay for you to have a meal or watch a movie? And then what if it's a first date and you never answer another call from him? He's supposed to just pay for you to go out when he's never going to see you again?

Here's the thing, princess... On POF, we're all strangers. If you're expecting to get the same treatment that we'd give our actual girlfriends, well, you're living in a fantasy. There's a huge difference between paying for someone that we're in an ongoing relationship with and paying for someone that we're probably never going to see again.

Want everything paid for you? Then try actually investing in trying to make a relationship happen. You expect the guy to cover the entire cost, but what are you bringing to the table? What's in it for him? And I'm not talking about sex. What does he actually gain from paying completely for your date when he doesn't even know that you're ever going to talk to him again, especially since that's become the norm in today's dating world?


The level of anger in this is glaring. I stand by my previous statement. Men who whine about paying for dates usually have far bigger issues than that.





You don't need foundation. That's to cover up flaws on your skin, and you don't have any.

A good friend of mine is high up in the Pink Cadillac company, actually drives a pink vehicle. We often joke that the women who go on about not needing make up are often the ones who could use it most. Foundation is about trying to even out skin tones, not covering anything up. She has met thousands of women and hasn't met one yet who couldn't benefit from a little bit of blush or lipstick or has the glowing skin that needs no refinement.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1097
going dutch, greecey men, and turkeys russia women to bed.
Posted: 5/22/2018 6:21:40 AM
"What exactly are you giving men who buy things for you? only your company?"

>>>in some cases, yes, that's exactly it. Not to sound sad-sack (b/c one posts here), but there are men who just want a pretty, receptive face across the dinner table. If she's fun and bubbly, sharing that might put a smile on his face...and if her shirt looks like it could be on a Hooter's waitress, well, they're only offering company as well :)

"I hate when women want to go back to the old Gone With the Broken Wind days"

>>>I understand a desire to be courted, but yes, women can now own property and vote and have other rights not in existence in the Gone With The Wind days. Their dating status has changed.

If July finds makeup gives her a little confidence, then good. We must walk before we can run, and all that.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 1098
going dutch, greecey men, and turkeys russia women to bed.
Posted: 5/22/2018 6:38:34 AM
GTO.....That's a mans prerogative.
If you want to pay for a womans company....in buying her a meal or otherwise...fine.
Even though you know she's not interested in anything further than being friends with you.
I have always offered to pay...I would say 98% refuse but they can't ever walk away...thinking I took advantage of them.

I have argued on here with women(mostly BA) that think it is owed to them just because they have the "magic V"...
Gawd...makes me cringe just typing that nonsense.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1099
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going dutch, greecey men, and turkeys russia women to bed.
Posted: 5/22/2018 7:16:20 AM
I think this who pays business is just an online thing.
It's never been a problem for me IRL. I've always expected
to pay my way...way back to prom and before. I've
had a job (since 14, not counting BBsitting etc before). It
stands to reason (especially when you're young) that you
can do a lot more with more people pitching in.

I've found that works still.
Even back in the 70's, it seemed important to me that a
woman have her own means of support. It makes me
cringe thinking of the women that gave up everything to
get married and have kids, then 20-30 years down the road
were unemployable and needing alimony to exist.

Pay your own way...and when someone wants to pay for you,
consider it a gift and respond accordingly.

I'm with Ms. Whiskey.
This isn't the 1900's or even the 1950's anymore.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 1100
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going dutch, greecey men, and turkeys russia women to bed.
Posted: 5/22/2018 8:18:44 AM
Pig - LMAOOOO

@ siisaa

That way, if the meet is a bust, it'll be short anyway. If we like each-other, then we can plan a subsequent date on a weekend night and be out later.


Great advice
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