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 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 1201
cheapskates gonna be cheapPage 49 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)
Well...I do declare....How do a tell them..I'm in the "courting mode"...do I drop my hanky?
By letting them buy me a meal. If I let him pay for a vacation....that must mean I'm the marrying kind.
OH...OH....what if I want a diamond necklace for my mother....what do I get or have to do for that?
Jaysus.....smh

^you guys can make anything sound ugly

And a few of you old gals make it sound like we are all "gold diggers".....
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 1202
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 5:02:56 PM
^^^

Around 50 years ago how did you let them know when you were in a courting mood?
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1203
cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 5:05:17 PM
^^^you guys can make anything sound ugly

good 4 u
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 1204
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 5:24:39 PM
^^^

Don't be a fucking idiot. It was a simple question because back in our day it was still called courting by a lot of people. I believe a man should always pay for a date for the same reasons as most of the women here are saying a man should be the one to pay. We were brought up that way because society said it was so.

It appears what most of the women and I arguing in favor of men paying have in common is that we're all 57 or older and were brought up in a time when men paid for everything. The exception is SomewhereInTheStratosfere. Almost if not all of the men arguing against men always paying for the date Are younger than 53. The dividing line appears to be the equal rights movement. Go figure.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 1205
cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 5:40:14 PM
Oh Boy! Times have changed....haven't they.?
My argument is not whether a man pays or a woman pays?
Whom asks whom? I have always from the time I earned money...offered to pay my own way.
I think, it's not so much the decade you were born in but your morals/character...upbringing.

My disagreement and along with some other women here, is with the women....insinuating that "us" women that offer to pay are ugly or desperate...somehow. Not worthy of a man paying for us.
Or that a man that pays is somehow superior....it's just nonsense.

Of course, I can't help but make fun of them when they use archaic terms....not apologizing.
By the way....No one ever called it courting in my years. She also insinuated that it would only become a FWB scenario if the woman paid...smh. No...Bless your heart
Maybe it's a southern thang.
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1206
cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 5:46:58 PM
^^^

Of course, I can't help but make fun of them when they use archaic terms....not apologizing.
By the way....No one ever called it courting in my years.
Maybe it's a southern thang.


So it's ok to make fun of how people express themselves? good 4 u
And it must be a 'southern thang'? good 4 u again

Bless your heart~
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 1207
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 6:11:20 PM
There’s been a few 2+2=5 assertions in this thread.
I’d be shocked at the lunacy of it all if I didn’t believe people are only making these statements to upset other women on here and keep a meaningless argument going.
Meaningless:
Of no importance to anyone or anything
S’not even entertaining.
Where’s Arlo? Now he’s a much funnier firestarter.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1208
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 6:50:39 PM
Ok...um...it's not that I'm trying to get attention. I'm not. It's not that I feel left out or ain't getting any recognition...

...but, it's just weird to me that few, if no one, are even thinking about the angle to all of this that I explained; Are not even trying to see that what the argument deteriorates into might not be applicable or relevant much of the time. I don't care if anyone agrees or disagrees with me...but I expected at least SOME interest and intelligent attempts at considering my framework for thinking about it a little more than I've seen so far.

Was it because my post a while back was just too long? TLDR? I'd hate to think it's as simple as people being more willing to read a thousand posts totaling much more length than my one post...than reading my one post.

Sure, many of you might really consider this all a matter of equality and finances. But...almost everybody? No way. I'm pretty sure that many are of the same mindset as what I elucidated, but just don't realize it. You have to put a handle on a more accurate understanding and not get tricked into the wrong argument.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1209
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/25/2018 8:22:00 PM

If both parties are cool with a FWB thing, then going Dutch is no biggie--they both realize it is not a long term deal. If however, one is in courting mode, special treatment is what one does to win the heart of the beloved~


Winning the heart should go both ways. Not just the man trying to win over the woman.


It was a simple question because back in our day it was still called courting by a lot of people. I believe a man should always pay for a date for the same reasons as most of the women here are saying a man should be the one to pay. We were brought up that way because society said it was so.

It appears what most of the women and I arguing in favor of men paying have in common is that we're all 57 or older and were brought up in a time when men paid for everything. The exception is SomewhereInTheStratosfere. Almost if not all of the men arguing against men always paying for the date Are younger than 53. The dividing line appears to be the equal rights movement. Go figure.


You might have a good point here. I'm 48. I look at it different than you. I don't mind paying for the first and maybe the second date. If things progress, I think the woman should also pick up the tab once in awhile. Or one person buy dinner and the other buys drinks later. Pretty much a natural, unspoken thing that usually just happens with women I date. Some have even paid for our first or second date. I never looked at it as they wanted me for sex because they paid. Not that it didn't happen sometimes but I didn't feel obligated. FWIW - the age range that I've been dating over the last few years has been from 37 - 52.

I sit here wondering what people in their 20s and 30s do? Are things different in that age range? A little off topic - I noticed a young couple (early 20s?) leaving a restaurant I was at a few weeks ago. The guy walked the girl to the passenger's side of the car then opened and closed the door for her. I was very surprised. I do that once in awhile. More so on date nights. Rarely when we're just running errands. It was nice to see something like that being done by the younger generation.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1210
It takes a cheapskate to know a cheapskate
Posted: 5/25/2018 8:26:39 PM
From my experience doing door to door canvassing for charities, the richest people are the cheapest. There are also statistics that confirm the wealthiest people give the least money. Maybe that’s why they’re rich.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1211
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It takes a cheapskate to know a cheapskate
Posted: 5/25/2018 8:37:01 PM
It looks like ages 53-56 is the twilight zone in this debate.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1212
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You're gonna get kicked to the curb
Posted: 5/25/2018 8:47:07 PM
Drink, I read what you wrote, but I don't agree with it.

Endless, it's funny for you to say it was nice to see that guy opening and closing the car door for that woman, when that's about old fashioned values, like men paying for dates is.

Kiss, definitely, people sitting on large piles of cash can be very cheap. Time and time again, I see people with the least amount to give help others.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1213
It takes a cheapskate to know a cheapskate
Posted: 5/26/2018 3:49:36 AM
"From my experience doing door to door canvassing for charities, the richest people are the cheapest. There are also statistics that confirm the wealthiest people give the least money. Maybe that’s why they’re rich."

>>>Not to defend the wealthy, they don't need my help, but generally speaking, yes, people with the most to lose, have already planned what to do with it while those living paycheck to paycheck expect it to disappear anyway, and may even want to buy some karma. But also, there are some self-made wealthy who feel others can do what they do, so they contribute less--and let's be honest, we've probably seen some coworkers who don't want to work, imagine what your boss sees. But most wealthy inherited their wealth since the 1970's, and so they donate to what they personally know--alma mater, institutions, museums, orchestras, etc. Which don't always show up as charity.

"I sit here wondering what people in their 20s and 30s do?"

>>>hang out together and let cheap beer work its magic? :) of course it depends, generally speaking again...in your twenties, you may be the broke college student or the blue collar factory worker with a union paycheck to spend. also for some at this age, it feels like there is a larger pool to date from.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1214
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/26/2018 7:01:33 AM

Posted By: ChorusAurora on 5/25/2018 758 PM
Subject: cheapskates gonna be cheap
Message: ^^^

Of course, I can't help but make fun of them when they use archaic terms....not apologizing.
By the way....No one ever called it courting in my years.
Maybe it's a southern thang.


So it's ok to make fun of how people express themselves? good 4 u
And it must be a 'southern thang'? good 4 u again

Bless your heart~


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TonTGAfn2zI
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1215
cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/26/2018 7:18:11 AM
^^^
That Jethro! One smart cookie~

hahaha
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1216
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/26/2018 8:09:03 AM

If both parties are cool with a FWB thing, then going Dutch is no biggie

There it is again...
Just have to make it about sex if a woman has the gawl to pay for her own dinner...
THAT is what makes this conversation ugly....
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1217
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 9:27:17 AM
I don't mind splitting the bill IF the place we are going doesn't cost much. However, I have gone on a couple meetups at more expensive places (not my choice but I didn't realize they were until I got there) so I didn't offer to pay and there was no issue. I will often volunteer to pay my own at normal-priced places but 90% of the time the guys insisted on paying. Truthfully that makes a guy more attractive.

Would I date a broke guy? That depends on why he's broke. If its just that he has a low-paying job and his living expenses take up most of his income or he has to pay a high amount of child or spousal support, that is fine, I understand that because though I work lots myself, the cost of living eats up much of my income. However, if he's unemployed, not a chance I'd date him because he needs to be focussing on that before getting into any relationships. And if he has a low-paying job, it would depend on why. If its just because he really enjoys the job or he was laid off from a better job and this is all he could find I respect that. Its better than the men who lose a good job but won't settle temporarily for something less because it would be beneath him than I'm not interested.

I don't think men should date unemployed women either. Single women should learn how to stand on their own two feet and work. Longterm welfare moms and women who live off spousal support from their ex are leaches to be avoided.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1218
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 10:32:04 AM

Truthfully that makes a guy more attractive.

I'm curious.....how so?

Honestly, for me, fancy restaurants don't impress me.
Probably because I can cook better than most of the cooks/chefs and I can cook it cheaper!!
Spending (at the least) $100 on a meal just seems like a waste of money...and I feel the same about buying me a dozen roses!
you want to impress me ... pack a picnic lunch with some KFC or a good Hoagie Sandwich and chips - throw a blanket out by the river/pond or in the back of your truck where we can gaze at the stars.... and buy me a rose I can plant in my yard!!
To me - effort = attractiveness
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1219
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 12:52:22 PM
NewYorker58...that just makes me think that everybody WANTS it to be about this other stuff which leads to conversational drama and disagreement.

Myself, I've very rarely been impressed by any restaurant. I'd enjoy doing some cooking in at home on a date, maybe even a first date...depending. I might "go out to a place" on more special occasions and where it's more so about the atmosphere...but then I'd still be hard pressed to think of a place I liked and would still have my discriminating tastes concerning the food itself as well as everything else. But for first dates...just doesn't seem appropriate at all. A bit bizarre. And why is it all about restaurants? Do an activity. That's why people speak of "getting coffee"...because you're at square-one and don't know if you'll pursue anything yet. I hate chit-chatting while eating. Shut up, I'm eating. We'll relax and talk awhile afterwards. So let's do an activity instead in which we interact and get to know each other...not just go through the ritual of feeding our faces as if we're getting so close that way.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1220
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 4:27:31 PM
Well usually men who insist on paying for dates are going for women who are younger and more attractive than they are. That’s probably why they feel the need to compensate. They’re intimated by a woman who threatens their own feelings of self-importance - they wouldn’t date a woman who makes more money than they do. I’m looking for an equal - a woman around my age of average looks, in my socio-economic cohort.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1221
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 4:49:54 PM

Well usually men who insist on paying for dates are going for women who are younger and more attractive than they are. That’s probably why they feel the need to compensate. They’re intimated by a woman who threatens their own feelings of self-importance - they wouldn’t date a woman who makes more money than they do.


good lord....do you just make this stuff up on a need-to-prove-a-point basis???
That one is so far out there ... I won't even bother to prove you wrong....
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1222
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 5:00:30 PM

Iceland?

Because I like pictures of the country and movies filmed in Iceland.


Why does it have to be an 'exception' to talk about money only under extreme circumstances?!? Having a frank discussion about money CAN and SHOULD be done before even the simplest get-together.

It shouldn't be a frank discussion about money - it should be a frank discussion about expectations.

"I'm a millionaire but I've been so used in the past that I'd like you to pay your half for the coffee."
Said no one that I'm aware of.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1223
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 5:30:03 PM

good lord....do you just make this stuff up on a need-to-prove-a-point basis???
That one is so far out there ... I won't even bother to prove you wrong....


It’s Goddamn hypocrisy to hold men to traditional standards of behavior when most women clearly don’t want to be held to traditional standards of behavior themselves - they would say it’s sexist if a man told them to get back in the kitchen and make a sandwich. All those women looking to blame men for not paying for their dates should blame feminism instead - they’re the ones who asked for equality, not men. Matthew Hussey couldn’t have explained it better in this video.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

BA’s, Newyorker’s, and Somewhere’s arguments about why men should pay don’t make sense either. Or do you only notice when it’s the men who say something you don’t agree with?
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1224
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 5:32:59 PM

I hate chit-chatting while eating. Shut up, I'm eating. We'll relax and talk awhile afterwards. So let's do an activity instead in which we interact and get to know each other...not just go through the ritual of feeding our faces as if we're getting so close that way.


Most of my first dates are out to eat. Often the waitress keeps coming over to see if we're ready to order and I'm asking things like "Oh, we're supposed to look at the menu?". Then we realize we're the only people left at the end of the night. I occasionally do other things like see a local band, mini golf or explore Newport, RI. Great place if anyone is ever in the area.


Well usually men who insist on paying for dates are going for women who are younger and more attractive than they are. That’s probably why they feel the need to compensate. They’re intimated by a woman who threatens their own feelings of self-importance - they wouldn’t date a woman who makes more money than they do. I’m looking for an equal - a woman around my age of average looks, in my socio-economic cohort.


I don't mind being with a woman that is young and better looking than me. No complaints if she makes more money too! :)
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1225
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 5:39:09 PM

good lord....do you just make this stuff up on a need-to-prove-a-point basis??? That one is so far out there ... I won't even bother to prove you wrong....


It’s Goddamn hypocrisy to hold men to traditional standards of behavior when most women clearly don’t want to be held to traditional standards of behavior themselves - they would say it’s sexist if a man told them to get back in the kitchen and make a sandwich. All those women looking to blame men for not paying for their dates should blame feminism instead - they’re the ones who asked for equality, not men. Matthew Hussey couldn’t have explained it better in this video.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

BA’s, Newyorker’s, and Somewhere’s arguments about why men should pay don’t make sense either. Or do you only notice when it’s the men who say something you don’t agree with?


I don't think men should date unemployed women either. Single women should learn how to stand on their own two feet and work. Longterm welfare moms and women who live off spousal support from their ex are leaches to be avoided.


Not all unemployed people are lazy. It could just be they got laid off when their company decided to cut back, they have too much experience and education and are too overqualified for the lesser-skilled jobs that are more in demand, or they live in a remote area where’s there’s few opportunities. I would date an unemployed woman if I knew she at least was trying to do something about her situation and wasn’t going to be unemployed forever.
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