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 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1226
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cheapskates gonna be cheapPage 50 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)
Well, Endless Summer Nights,
Since you asked,


I sit here wondering what people in their 20s and 30s do? Are things different in that age range? A little off topic - I noticed a young couple (early 20s?) leaving a restaurant I was at a few weeks ago. The guy walked the girl to the passenger's side of the car then opened and closed the door for her. I was very surprised. I do that once in awhile. More so on date nights. Rarely when we're just running errands. It was nice to see something like that being done by the younger generation.



BF's son is 25. He contacted a gal on POF about 10 days ago. They met for the first time yesterday / Friday evening.

He asked her out, to eat. They met at the restaurant. They ordered their food, hers arrived, not as she had ordered. He insisted she place another order, to get the food she wanted. He paid for 3 meals. They were at the restaurant for 3 hours. He opened doors for her, he helped push her chair to the table, he paid for 3 meals, he walked her to her car, and he opened her car door for her when she unlocked it. They …………...have another date Sunday evening.

His words to his dad and I, when he returned home ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ plus...……….He shows us a picture of her. She is tall and hot!
LOL I mentioned to him, this thread from the POF Forums. He laughs. "My dad taught me better than that. I'm the man, I pay, AND I open doors for a lady. I almost forgot to push her chair forward for her. She was impressed. Thought guys didn't do those nice things anymore." I chuckled, "Yes, your dad taught you well, and good for you!"
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1227
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 5:57:47 PM

It’s Goddamn hypocrisy to hold men to traditional standards of behavior when most women clearly don’t want to be held to traditional standards of behavior themselves

Pay attention....I'm on the same side as you regarding women paying their fair share....
but I will not agree to your ridiculous ramblings that men only want to pay if the date is young and hot!!
There are far more men that insist on paying than not....and it doesn't matter who their date is...


BA’s, Newyorker’s, and Somewhere’s arguments about why men should pay don’t make sense either. Or do you only notice when it’s the men who say something you don’t agree with?

Once again....pay attention....I call out their BS just as much as yours!!
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1228
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 6:32:02 PM

Pay attention....I'm on the same side as you regarding women paying their fair share....
but I will not agree to your ridiculous ramblings that men only want to pay if the date is young and hot!!
There are far more men that insist on paying than not....and it doesn't matter who their date is...


Well, personally I don’t know any men who would pay for a woman who was significantly older than them. There are many men who would pay for a much younger woman. My ex was 12 years older than me and our relationship was equal financially. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. If I saw her on the street I probably wouldn’t have even noticed her; however, she had other qualities that attracted me to her.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 1229
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 6:58:05 PM
NY58:
Men that actually date, they understand this and they're successfully dating. Those that don't, they're really not interested in dating. Look at who is dating here and who isn't.
I agree. I believe that most of the men who are doin' the askin' and the payin'...are doin' most of the layin'

In my view, guys who are bellyaching about the principle of splitting the bill are losers.

To these men, I would say, "Get a grip," but you already are. Every night.

***Now...if women WANT to pay...that's a whole different situation. Sometimes women may want to pay their share especially on first dates, to avoid having him expecting a return favor.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1230
Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 8:07:50 PM

I agree. I believe that most of the men who are doin' the askin' and the payin'...are doin' most of the layin'

In my view, guys who are bellyaching about the principle of splitting the bill are losers.

To these men, I would say, "Get a grip," but you already are. Every night.

***Now...if women WANT to pay...that's a whole different situation. Sometimes women may want to pay their share especially on first dates, to avoid having him expecting a return favor.


Ok wise guy, do you have any empirical proof that this is the case? A guy like Reverend probably gets more dates than all of you men still living in the 1950’s, yet he doesn’t give a flying fvck about paying to impress women. So a woman should have a choice about whether to pay or not or men shouldn’t? Suppose you had a son and a daughter. Would you really want to teach your son that he can’t date if he’s broke but you’re daughter can always get a man to pay for her? Basically you’re saying that if you pay, you get to have sex. There’s another name for that.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1231
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 8:59:00 PM

I believe that most of the men who are doin' the askin' and the payin'...are doin' most of the layin'

In my view, guys who are bellyaching about the principle of splitting the bill are losers.

To these men, I would say, "Get a grip," but you already are. Every night.



I'd say about 90% of the woman I date contribute at least 50% of the time. Maybe not on the first date but at least something by the second or third. And I don't ask. They take it upon themselves to do it. That's why I was surprised by some of the other 10% before I started reading this thread.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1232
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 10:33:32 PM
If women want to be equals, then they should be prepared to pay for the date, or at least their fair share, just like the guys are expected to do. That's even footing. Big deal what a million years of ancient history did before. This moment is now, in the present.

Common courtesy is to be respectful of your date. Maybe that means holding the door, maybe it means footing the bill, maybe it means shutting up and listening while they tell their story. Being prepared to pay IS a sign of respect. There IS NO gender exception. People choose what level of respect and interest they want on that date, and have to deal with the consequences. Being snarky with the servers, picky about the food, generally self-absorbed the whole time -- is there a gender exception with any of those performance standards?

We are separate beings, but you can't cry about equality and then play exceptions when you see it as a benefit. Big deal if it happened before. This is a NEW relationship with a NEW human being - not your Ex, not your last failure, and not someone from a century ago. I'm really tired of people digging up history of people long dead and gone as if it is something that needs to be fixed in the here and now. This isn't words specifically to men OR women -- it's words to men AND women. Get over your baggage and BE in the present.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 1233
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 10:45:26 PM

If women want to be equals, then they should be prepared to pay for the date, or at least their fair share, just like the guys are expected to do.


Interesting point. A lot of these progressive/feminist-types preach equality but only when it's in their best interest. I'm always prepared to pay my share of dates. Usually, my first few dates are relatively low-key and cheap anyway. I don't treat, or expect to be treated, unless we're actually dating & progressing well. One or two dates does not mean you're "dating" or that you two are even remotely serious about each-other.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1234
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Pay for your own whine
Posted: 5/26/2018 11:00:37 PM
If you're going to expensive restaurants, you're wasting your money. It all ends up going down the toilet the next day...
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1235
Pay for your own whine and cheesiness
Posted: 5/27/2018 2:42:45 AM
The real purpose of an expensive restaurant should be the experience. For example, I went here as a kid:

http://www.texasexplorer.com/TowerAmericas.htm

and apparently its still there--the place revolves around so the view constantly changes. So don't impress your date with the dollar signs on the menu, impress her with the quality of the food or the experience she has there. Us bachelor men, supposedly, learn "all the good places" once we move out of Café Mom. so show off your ability to adapt to your surroundings. I remember on one of our family trips (obviously before the internet) when my father handed me the phone book in the hotel room and said, "ok, its your turn to learn how to figure out a good place for us to eat tonight".

"I believe that most of the men who are doin' the askin' and the payin'...are doin' most of the layin' "

>>>I'll disagree, I've taken plenty of women out and not gotten dessert. Animals don't pay for the roadkill they bring back to the nest and they still mate...if they did the dance right. When I was a broke college student, I attracted a woman slightly out of my league b/c she kept hanging around with a coworker of mine, and he was happy to "get her off my hands". He was sick of hearing his old high school friend talk about her exbf. So I became the decent guy who got her over him. As we dated, she would complain we didn't go out much (I only saw her Friday and Saturday nights), and I pointed out that she fell asleep by 9pm if we weren't having sex, and she agreed that wasn't worth wasting money on.

be a good catch, and good women will understand you're a broke college student :) or find a woman who's trying to get over a hottie she still sees at work everyday but can't have anymore--and be man enough not to let the green monster out about it. impress her with what's across the table--my first date with this woman I lost my virginity to, my allergies were in full force and I coughed thru the whole date. And she still agreed to a second one (ok, maybe she was desperate, but still :) ).
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 1236
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Pay for your own whine and cheesiness
Posted: 5/27/2018 10:44:11 AM
Kiss wrote:
Ok wise guy, do you have any empirical proof that this is the case? A guy like Reverend probably gets more dates than all of you men still living in the 1950’s, yet he doesn’t give a flying fvck about paying to impress women. So a woman should have a choice about whether to pay or not or men shouldn’t?.
OK, "losers" was probably harsh.

And "living in the 1950's ...lol..good one, touche. And maybe you're correct, it may be more of an age based thing. But for me, probably more correct to say "living in the '80s-90s". I'm old, but I ain't that old.

And um, I have a lotta weaknesses, but one wasn't getting dates and having fun with women. Attracting women. Things that many men here seem to have a trouble with. I just don't see the sense in men who have problems getting dates, or getting noticed by women to be complaining about being expected to pay for dates. Isn't that putting the cart before the horse? I mean, do you believe your complaining here incessantly bout that is a good advertisement for you, from women who may be interested in your profile?

And just because other men here get dates without "paying to impress women," doesn't mean that's an approach that will work for other men. As I wrote somewhere before, there ARE a relatively few men out there who can call the shots, no matter what, because they attract a lot of women.

The way I look at it, it's a market....I would advise for men not to make a stink about this, because if you do make a stink about it, there are many other men who ARE willing to pick up the tab, all other things equal. It doesn't mean women are meal whores, but it may be an early indicator to a woman that the man is a cheapskate. Now, even though you took a jab at my age, it's probably fair. It MAY be an age based thing. But I try to make suggestions here that are relevant, from ANY age....and one of those suggestions is try not to appear to be a cheapskate...that's as important now as it was then (in the 80-90s, NOT the 50s).... Notice I don't suggest here men sport mullets, and wear purple parachute pants and skinny ties, or wear a Devo "Energy Dome" to get attention from women, something that worked for me "back in the day"

I bellyache, over in in the Off Tropics, about U.S. trade policy ad nauseum, and posters there always tell me to get in the real world - it's just the way things are. But that doesn't mean I go without a TV. I just go out and buy a Chinese made TV. I have no choice, because "that's the way it is." But I still bellyache, lol. I see the "who pays" argument in the same light.

I do talk to younger people and to me it still seems that men are expected to pay, at least the first few dates, not counting OLD "Meet and Greets.".. Admittedly a small sample size, but it supports my opinion.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1237
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Pay for your own whine and cheesiness
Posted: 5/27/2018 11:01:49 AM

Notice I don't suggest here men sport mullets, and wear purple parachute pants and skinny ties, or wear a Devo "Energy Dome" to get attention from women, something that worked for me "back in the day"


Skinny ties... I haven't thought about them in many years!!!
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 1238
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/27/2018 1:34:54 PM

not as she had ordered. He insisted she place another order, to get the food she wanted. He paid for 3 meals.


Why would he pay for THREE meals?
If the restaurant brings the wrong order, that's on them, either comped or sent back.
 PieAlaMojo
Joined: 4/30/2018
Msg: 1239
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/27/2018 5:39:51 PM
^^ I was thinking the same!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1240
cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/27/2018 6:43:51 PM

I agree. I believe that most of the men who are doin' the askin' and the payin'...are doin' most of the layin'

In my view, guys who are bellyaching about the principle of splitting the bill are losers.

To these men, I would say, "Get a grip," but you already are. Every night.


whacking off into their tighty whities so much, they don't need starch, their undies are so stiff they can stand up in the corner all by themselves


"My dad taught me better than that. I'm the man, I pay, AND I open doors for a lady. I almost forgot to push her chair forward for her. She was impressed. Thought guys didn't do those nice things anymore."


BINGO!
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1241
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/27/2018 8:24:27 PM
Yes. I whack off all the time thinking of blonde angel. She is so hot. God, I so wish I was that guy in her pics.

I keep having to make copies of posters made from her pics. They keep getting kind of...messed up. Kinkos loves me. And I love the name of their business.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1242
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/27/2018 10:22:18 PM

I'm the man, I pay, AND I open doors for a lady. I almost forgot to push her chair forward for her. She was impressed. Thought guys didn't do those nice things anymore.

Women that think guys don't do nice things anymore are NOT dating nice guys. Period. The reasons behind it are many - but a safe assumption is that people who don't feel compelled to be nice believe they can go elsewhere for the attention they want. Probably part of that most attractive 15% who gets all the attention from the other 85%. That applies to both genders.

The part that bothers me about doing nice things isn't the work or effort needed - it's the reason why. Holding doors open for ANYBODY is a polite gesture, not just for a date. People want to feel important, unique, special - but that doesn't mean I'm going to shut the door in the face of the older couple behind us so I can ran ahead to the next chivalry challenge. I'm not exclusively polite to that person because they are there. Just like being polite to the wait staff or other people in line doesn't mean I'm degrading the date to a more 'common' status. Being a nice person doesn't mean putting a new date on a pedestal when you barely know each other. Maybe my 'competition' does better at flattery and chivalry - so be it. I'm not going to lose out to another guy because I had to create a false standard.

A quote from that Matt Hussey video posted a few messages back...

You know what means something to a guy? Trying... When he feels you're not even trying to contribute, he feels used... and it has NOTHING to do with money. It has to do with the lack of the gesture.

Sound familiar?

The lack of gesture, the lack of effort can be seen in all aspects of a date. Heck, in all aspects of a relationship. Dialogue, actions, listening skills, cost - and there needs to be somewhat of a balance, or at least a respect for when responsibility falls stronger on one person. People can be polite on a date - have all the proper things Miss Manners taught decades ago - but if people still refuse to be accountable, then that balance falls out of whack.

Nice guys don't mind doing good gestures, including paying for dates - but someone who shows up loaded with assumptions that their time has earned them a free meal and an entitlement to a good conversation no matter what else happens - needs to get their head examined.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1243
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/28/2018 6:45:23 AM
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Best post of the thread!! /\/\/\/\/\/\/\
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 1244
cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/28/2018 7:17:38 AM

whacking off into their tighty whities so much, they don't need starch, their undies are so stiff they can stand up in the corner all by themselves

Eeeww...Keeping it classy.


Yes. I whack off all the time thinking of blonde angel. She is so hot. God, I so wish I was that guy in her pics
Double Ewww...
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1245
money is like oxygen, the more access you have, the less you worry about using it
Posted: 5/28/2018 7:24:00 AM
" A guy like Reverend probably gets more dates than all of you men still living in the 1950’s, yet he doesn’t give a flying fvck about paying to impress women. "

>>>but does a guy who doesn't care about women, attract women b/c he doesn't care? way back in grade school I noticed women treated me the same regardless of how I treated them, and my two attractive male friends had the same results. so we acted the same, had the same sense of humor, but the girls were interested in hanging out with my friends and walked right past me and ignored me to do so. it wasn't how the ladies got treated, it was "do they find the guy attractive or not". some people of course, changed after grade school, and a lot of others....still decide friend or lover based on whether or not they fantasize about their male friend naked or not :)

that said, I did land my first gf b/c I ignored her from the first time her friend/my neighbor introduced us when they showed up at my door for Halloween. She was nuttier than squirrel droppings, even if she was skinny and had a pretty face. my standards were high even then :) but she ended up wearing me down and when she begged me to ask her out, I finally did. and then the drama began :) Attracting the woman others want b/c she has issues and you're pushing her buttons by ignoring her, doesn't always gain a healthy relationship either.

"holding doors open is polite, but it shouldn't mean i'm going to let the door go when someone not hot walks by"

>>>and yet you'd be amazed at how many self-proclaimed "nice guys" are only that impressive when a hottie is around. the only time we should pedestalize someone is when we know enough about them to have a reason to do it. if they are the next Stephen Hawking and we're at a location (conference, etc) where that intelligence is recognized, then yes, give them their honors due.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1246
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money is like oxygen, the more access you have, the less you worry about using it
Posted: 5/28/2018 8:01:53 AM
I don't know what y'all are talking about. I only see CBGB dating.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 1247
money is like oxygen, the more access you have, the less you worry about using it
Posted: 5/28/2018 8:43:29 AM

I only see CBGB dating.

And you know this "how" because not everyone shares their dates on here?
I date when I feel like it and it's on my terms...no one elses stupid theories.
I'm having no issues.

Everyone thinks they are the new...Dr. Ruth nowadays...man she use to crack me up.
Especially, when they interviewed her husband and he said most of what she preached wasn't true...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1248
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money is like oxygen, the more access you have, the less you worry about using it
Posted: 5/28/2018 8:57:28 AM
If a guy here was getting "any", he'd be shouting it from the rooftops, and not be here b!tching about women.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1249
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/28/2018 9:13:07 AM

whacking off into their tighty whities so much, they don't need starch, their undies are so stiff they can stand up in the corner all by themselves


Why waste underwear when toilet paper is cheaper and it can do the job?
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 1250
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cheapskates gonna be cheap
Posted: 5/28/2018 11:09:06 AM
^^^(ahem) clearly not a recycler (tut)
Is it too much to ask you think of the planet when you’re doing the deed :)
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