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 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1451
Women are going to choose the best optionsPage 59 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)

when you are in the lower leagues of physical looks


No, unfortunately, the people in the burn unit who are facially disfigured for life are the ones stuck in the lower leagues of physical looks.


Another time, I got to listen to a female friend complain about the state cop banging her on a Saturday night


Wait a minute, this is a woman you would like to bang yourself and you listen to her go on about her sexcapades?? Holy shit.


Some fellows might convince themselves that someday, she'll be in the right mood and he'll get lucky. as you mentioned before, they too are trained to keep on, keeping on, forge ahead, don't give up the ghost, get out there and take a chance, et cetera


No, no, no, no, no, no. I would never in a million years encourage a guy to hang around a woman who has never wanted to bang him in hopes she will change her mind. It never happens. You can't "friend" your way into a woman's pants.


Sometimes it pays off--tomorrow I have to bring a car to the garage, and rather than ask the mechanic for a ride home, a female friend is giving me a ride and taking me shopping b/c I don't feel like trusting the backup car.


Look at what you've had to endure to get this, though. Is that really a payoff?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 1452
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/14/2018 7:12:48 PM

drinkthesunwithmyface – message 1457
Here's an analogy to maybe decrease the amount of smoke that comes out of one's ears trying to get what I mean -

Alchemy.

Alchemy? Seriously???

I have been reading / posting in these forums for better than 8 years now, and this may be the strangest post I have yet seen. Trying to equate dating leagues with alchemy is … jeez, I’m speechless.

I’ll let whiterose0 say it for me:


And even if another person doesn't believe in "leagues" per se, that person may still think they're too good for you.


MachIMustangII
Another time, I got to listen to a hot female friend complain about the state cop banging her on a Saturday night during Sunday dinners,



So, I accept the glass half full when its worth doing. and refuse it the rest of the time.

Look, I get it, you like female company (so do I, who doesn’t?), and even more so when the woman is attractive (once again, so do I).

But … (you knew there was a “but”, right?)

When you’re busy listening to her talking about the guy she’s banging who’s treating her bad, interrupt her. Stop her cold. Say something like,


Look, I get it, but here’s the thing. I’m a man, you’re a woman, an attractive woman. I don’t want to hear about your crummy boyfriend, I want to take your home and boff your brains out, make love to you until the sun comes up tomorrow. What do you say?

I’ll bet you a hundred dollars, and give you 10 to 1 odds, she is not going to slap your face. And she is not going to walk out in a huff. She is (most likely) going to look at you in a way she has never looked at you before. The absolute worst that can happen is that you will lose a friend. And that kind of friend you can stand to lose.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1453
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 2:48:01 AM
That woman is Mustang's friend. Does everyone come on to their female friends? Friends don't grow on trees, and predatory behavior is unbecoming. It's a problem with our society, and reflects the type of many men doing OLD. Women serve a purpose beyond sex.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1454
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The Friend Zone is a cool place if you accept it
Posted: 6/15/2018 5:30:44 AM

Does everyone come on to their female friends? Friends don't grow on trees, and predatory behavior is unbecoming.

Some failed dates (and even failed lovers) become really good friends, because they both have the maturity to realize a social asset when they meet one. I think what's failed society more than anything else is the stupid idea that if you are not what I want, you are an enemy. If you are not totally 'for' me, you are against me. It's an incredibly selfish point of view. Lawyers get paid to feed that notion into their clients, because divorcing couples on good terms don't make them as much money.

Behavior that is slightly different or something you are not used to doesn't instantly mean they are predatory. Sometimes the quiet guy in the corner is ONLY there to enjoy a drink and read a book, not scouting for serial killer victims. The real failure in that statement above is believing sex is the only purpose why guys flirt with the idea of romance.

And before you jump on the term 'social asset' as a reason why men are **stards, take a look around at all the biker chicks who are part of that social scene without owning wheels of their own. Ditto for the boat culture. Ditto for the country club scene for golfers who can't afford pricey green fees or memberships at exclusive clubs. People 'exploit' their friends for their unique qualities and abilities and access to unique opportunities ALL THE TIME. What keep them friends is they don't selfishly resent one another for their differences, and share them instead. Sex doesn't HAVE to be part of the picture.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1455
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 6:42:35 AM
Leagues may not exist, but yet for rom-coms, Hollywood keeps picking the same male actors to play the romantic interest (until those actors get their chops, say Richard Gere or Brad Pitt or Clooney, and evolve or just plain get older). must just be a coincidence :) But the discussion on it reminds me of a time back in school we discussed social cliques and a very popular girl mentioned they couldn't possibly exist in our school...she was never excluded from any group!

"Wait a minute, this is a woman you would like to bang yourself and you listen to her go on about her sexcapades?? Holy shit. "

>>>well, every woman I've had sex with, has had sex before. So they have stories to tell, and complaints to make about it. People feel comfortable around me, and tell me things. This particular woman wasn't talking about her sexcapades all the time, most of the convo was about her job (financial advisor while she didn't pay her own bills) and then later about her illness and what every new diagnosis was until they thought they finally pinned it down....and about her kids and all the other things people talk about. Sex was just one thing that happened to her in a week's time.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. I would never in a million years encourage a guy to hang around a woman who has never wanted to bang him in hopes she will change her mind. It never happens. You can't "friend" your way into a woman's pants."

>>>I did it more than once, but I wouldn't recommend it as a great game plan, no. certainly not to someone attractive enough to have better options. When I was dating the lady in question, there was certainly no other options knocking on my door, and so I accepted the glass half full.

"Look at what you've had to endure to get this, though. Is that really a payoff?"

>>>heck, if I waited for perfect scenarios where i got what i wanted, i'd really be alone :)

"I’ll bet you a hundred dollars, and give you 10 to 1 odds, she is not going to slap your face. And she is not going to walk out in a huff. She is (most likely) going to look at you in a way she has never looked at you before. The absolute worst that can happen is that you will lose a friend. And that kind of friend you can stand to lose. "

>>>once I knew that she was with this guy, I said I wasn't paying for meals anymore, and yes, she didn't slap my face, but was very confused :) I have had attractive female friends, who I wanted to have sex with, and as friends, we talked about a variety of subjects, and complaints about their sex life came up. Just like now, I have broke friends, and I try not to rub in their face that i'm financially better off than they are, but still...it comes up time to time, like when I ask my friend for a ride to the garage (and she sees my other cars in the driveway) and we go shopping for groceries and i'm getting what food I want and I know she couldn't afford breakfast that morning.

I wouldn't hang with someone who was throwing their sex life in my face, however. there are times someone can kvetch about their sex life, and I think, "lucky bastid!" and other times, I just listen clinically and offer advice or support. Like everyone else, my friends have their faults, are not perfect, and remind me of my late godfather's plaque on the wall, "friends are not people taken in by a sham, friends know us and don't give a damn". there are times my friends annoy, and other times i'm quick on the phone to tell them something I just saw.

" Does everyone come on to their female friends?"

>>>hell, my broke friend came on to ME, that's how we met :) The woman I tried to date, came onto me back in high school and I looked her up on FB and tried to date her. Most of my female friends in life were people I asked out, and they said no for a variety of reasons but they loved my personality and so we hung out. Thanks Danimal, for pointing out its normal--i'd hate to think i'm unusual :) but I get NY's point, yes there are some creepy people out there. I try to avoid their tenticles as soon as they set off my radar.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1456
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 7:15:14 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ElORM9O-0U
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1457
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 11:06:17 AM

And even if another person doesn't believe in "leagues" per se, that person may still think they're too good for you.

Yes. Of course. No sh!t. But if you operate according to badboy/niceguy, alpha/betamale, or leagues...then you're still like someone trying to force alchemy to apply.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1458
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 11:09:43 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7NdrkKD8Vk
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1459
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 2:00:48 PM

There was a thread in here not long ago, which was started by a man who admitted that he had low self-worth. He had contacted an attractive woman, who rudely told him in so many words that she was out of his league. It devastated him so much that he actually posted a link to her profile.

My thoughts are that if you're going to "fish in other leagues", you should first work on raising your self-esteem level. You need to develop a thick skin and be okay with the possibility of getting shot down. The same holds true for people you think of as your equals.


I forgot to address this.

Now, let's be honest here. If that thread had been started by an overweight woman who experienced the same with a man, she would have been coddled endlessly and told how beautiful she was. But what did some of the biggest forums LOSERS do?? They ridiculed him and told him he should have KNOWN he didn't have a chance. Fücking hypocrites. I wasn't about to let that shit slide, and I didn't.

My whole point in not thinking in terms of leagues is that one needs to refrain from it for the sake of not getting caught in the excuse making rut. You want to be perceived as "high value" or ''big league"? Do what it takes to get there or shut the hell up about leagues.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1460
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 2:27:04 PM

That woman is Mustang's friend. Does everyone come on to their female friends? Friends don't grow on trees, and predatory behavior is unbecoming. It's a problem with our society, and reflects the type of many men doing OLD. Women serve a purpose beyond sex.


It's not just the men who come onto their female friends, it's the women who come onto their male friends. I was out with one of my female friends a couple of months ago. We've known each other for just over 30 years. I had a crush on her in high school but wasn't very outgoing to I didn't pursue anything. We got together a few times about 10 years ago but overall we're just friends. I went with her to buy a car a few weeks before so she bought dinner/drinks when we went out one night. After we left the restaurant she suggested we go back to my house for a little while. She didn't want to watch TV. I have another female from that contacts me when she comes into town. Those trips are usually for a week or two. It can go both ways.

Some might deny this and I know it's not always the case but... a lot of men and women are friends because at least one of them was interested in the other. For most of my female friends, I've had some type of intimate relationship with them over the years. We either went out with each other for awhile, dated a little or have had a mutually satisfying physical relationship. There is one woman that I've never done anything with in the 25+ years that I've known her. It's a running joke that she's my only female friend that I haven't slept with.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1461
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 3:13:20 PM
LOL, Again, one of those things I read about, but can't possibly identify with...……...Maybe something in the water. The state, the town, east coast, west coast, the Midwest...…………………...


Some might deny this and I know it's not always the case but... a lot of men and women are friends because at least one of them was interested in the other. For most of my female friends, I've had some type of intimate relationship with them over the years.



Yes, I'm going to deny it. I don't have sex with my friends or ex's. I don't personally know anyone who does, or has. Come to think of it, I realize. any man, I have interacted with I could pigeon hole him immediately as, "Just friend", or, "Yep, I could f*** him". No confusion! KIS
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1462
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 3:33:35 PM
/\/\/\/\/\

I'm not saying things like sex always happen but a lot of times one person might be interested in the other so that starts the conversations that lead to friendship.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1463
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/15/2018 3:36:38 PM
I don't like any of my friends sexually either. I certainly wouldn't hang around a guy hoping to expect to have sex with him at some point. Not saying that it doesn't happen but in my case i don't do that. Although i slowed down meeting guys over a year ago to try to get to know them but that even backfired so now all guys are classed as friends only and if something develops from that it's gonna take ages.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1464
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 12:25:08 PM

Now, let's be honest here. If that thread had been started by an overweight woman who experienced the same with a man, she would have been coddled endlessly and told how beautiful she was.


I would not have coddled an overweight woman in his same position. I would have told her to start working on raising her self-esteem.


But what did some of the biggest forums LOSERS do?? They ridiculed him and told him he should have KNOWN he didn't have a chance. Fücking hypocrites. I wasn't about to let that shit slide, and I didn't.

My whole point in not thinking in terms of leagues is that one needs to refrain from it for the sake of not getting caught in the excuse making rut. You want to be perceived as "high value" or ''big league"? Do what it takes to get there or shut the hell up about leagues.


I think he should have been given constructive criticism rather than being ridiculed. "Doing what it takes to get there" encompasses raising his self-esteem level and working toward self-improvement - which is basically what I said.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1465
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 4:19:28 PM

...here's the problem with the concept of "leagues": It's the same with bad-boy vs nice-guy, and alpha-male vs beta-male.

I would say "leagues" is on the same level as rating one's looks 1-10. There's a subjective read to it, 1-10. But when one is Clearly better looking than the other, with nothing else to make an exception out of it (fame/local-popularity, well-known-$$, the other having mental/emotional issues, etc), we say "they're out of your league". It doesn't mean you don't ever fish in that pond, but being Truly blind to it can make you waste your time if you're too focused on it. Looks matter. There's differences in looks. Looks is by default the #1 attribute to pull in people in or shoo them away. And there are sometimes Stark differences in that dept -- hence the term 'league', noting that.

And also, as I wrote before, having a leaguless outlook may be two different experiences....observing no leagues below you, and observing no leagues above you. Fishing in leagues above one's own league is a whole different ballgame, er, fishing game vs. below you.

True. If there are no 'leagues', then there's no universal looks, and looks is purely subjective -- which is not the case. Hence, you should expect your chances of what the people rate a "10" saying Yes to you being the same of what the people rate a "5", because it's all BS, right? And more importantly, your desire to have what the people rate a "5" is going to be the same as what the people rate a "10" -- because looks is just a random role of the dice... or so close to it, that there's little difference between them All (hence no such thing as a big-difference aka "league" difference).

Self-denying the concept that there's any big differences in looks, and that a gal who folks think is a "10" is going to be the same as a "5" saying Yes -- that does have it's advantage. Gives one more balls without even knowing it. But it has it's drawback too: I'm getting shot down Way too much -- wth? To that I would say "Because there Are such things as universally prettier than another. You're going after the prettier ones, and they are going to get better looking guys than you without too much effort. You DO realize a big difference in looks, underneath it all. Otherwise, you wouldn't be chasing the 8-10s, Mr Average Joe. If big difference in looks didn't exist, you'd be going after 2s just as much as 9s... and one man's 9 is another man's 2, and vice versa. That's Not how the world actually works."
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1466
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 4:53:39 PM
That has been my point. You can hit up someone not in your league, but if that's your only focus, you're going to be one lonely dude or dudette. League can mean looks, social status, monetary status.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1467
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 8:55:36 PM

There was a thread in here not long ago, which was started by a man who admitted that he had low self-worth. He had contacted an attractive woman, who rudely told him in so many words that she was out of his league. It devastated him so much that he actually posted a link to her profile.

My thoughts are that if you're going to "fish in other leagues", you should first work on raising your self-esteem level. You need to develop a thick skin and be okay with the possibility of getting shot down. The same holds true for people you think of as your equals.


Leagues or not, her response was uncalled for. She could have simply say "No thanks" or don't respond.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1468
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:23:13 PM

Leagues or not, her response was uncalled for. She could have simply say "No thanks" or don't respond.


She could've done either of those things but you know women don't have to be polite if they don't want to be. They're people too, can be having a bad day or just sick of men messaging them who are not what they consider suitable. Mostly i ignore guys who i don't think are compatible but some of them i have sent sarcastic messages too because they haven't even bothered reading my profile.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1469
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:40:24 PM

She could've done either of those things but you know women don't have to be polite if they don't want to be. They're people too, can be having a bad day or just sick of men messaging them who are not what they consider suitable. Mostly i ignore guys who i don't think are compatible but some of them i have sent sarcastic messages too because they haven't even bothered reading my profile.


Not a valid excuse. Don't defend or justify that response. If a man got an email from a fat woman and made a rude comment in response about her not being in his league because of her weight, he would be crucified.

Also if a woman is having a bad day or is upset just because she is getting emails from men she's not interested in, then maybe she should take a break from OLD until she is in a better mood.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1470
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:59:08 PM

Not a valid excuse. Don't defend or justify that response. If a man got an email from a fat woman and made a rude comment in response about her not being in his league because of her weight, he would be crucified.


Not by me he wouldn't. I do think there are leagues. I think they're more specific though to individuals, so being fat might not make a person unattractive but something else can (like for me if you're face isn't attractive then i'm not interested but fat wouldn't bother me). I think people need to remember that they aren't gonna be attractive to everyone, it's not big deal and doesn't make a person ugly to everyone, but there are people who are gonna be low down on the attractiveness scale and they chance it with people higher up.

I was one of the people who called out the guy who made that topic because i felt he was seeking sympathy, then i changed my mind after he said something else, then he got all bitter and any sympathy he had got from me was gone again. He was as much of a tit as she was anyway.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1471
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 3:59:31 AM

She could've done either of those things but you know women don't have to be polite if they don't want to be. They're people too, can be having a bad day


This is unbelievable. Let me guess, when the man reciprocates, then it's time to wrap up in the victimhood blanket and scream every feminist buzzword known to humanity? Having a bad day is about the most piss-poor excuse a woman could ever muster up for being a complete twat.


or just sick of men messaging them who are not what they consider suitable.


YET THEY WILL NEVER ****ING LEAVE THE SITE. THEY WOULD RATHER STAY AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN.

True problem solvers, they are!


I would not have coddled an overweight woman in his same position.


But as you said, you wouldn't insult her. The funny thing about that thread is, if you look at who the insulters were, it was people who were too chicken shit to even post a profile picture and the most undesirable, lowlife, piece of excrement humanoids roaming the Earth.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1472
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 6:45:30 AM

Not by me he wouldn't. I do think there are leagues. I think they're more specific though to individuals, so being fat might not make a person unattractive but something else can (like for me if you're face isn't attractive then i'm not interested but fat wouldn't bother me). I think people need to remember that they aren't gonna be attractive to everyone, it's not big deal and doesn't make a person ugly to everyone, but there are people who are gonna be low down on the attractiveness scale and they chance it with people higher up.


Of course, people should realize not everyone will be attracted in them. That still doesn't justify a woman being rude to a man that she's not interested in. If a man said some nasty things in retaliation, then chances are we would be hearing about how men can't take a rejection. When it was actually her rude response to his initial email that set him off.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 1473
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 7:03:21 AM

There was a thread in here not long ago, which was started by a man who admitted that he had low self-worth. He had contacted an attractive woman, who rudely told him in so many words that she was out of his league. It devastated him so much that he actually posted a link to her profile.

My thoughts are that if you're going to "fish in other leagues", you should first work on raising your self-esteem level. You need to develop a thick skin and be okay with the possibility of getting shot down. The same holds true for people you think of as your equals.

Lmao everyone referring to THAT thread.
That guy posted her profile to call her out and for malicious reasons, NOT because he was 'soo devastated' therefore he posted her profile.
Come on it's obvious.
It's ok to be upset for being treated cruelly but like don't pretend when you are up to no good and want some revenge.

Alpha and beta/ Nice-guy bad-boy is either used when someone is trying to put others down because they are a narcissist and think they are an 'Alpha' or used to make excuses for a lack of success aka 'Wahh bad-boys get all the girls and nice guys like me get ignored'. Also implies there is no issue or underlying reason for lack of success in 'nice-guys' meaning they have underlying narcissism. The only time I want to see the terms alpha and beta is in omegaverse.

All this just reminds me of Caste Heaven. Now in modern society, we don't really have clear social rankings and weird stuff that separates us into rankings that dictate how we behave and how others treat us. We can perceive imaginary rankings aka Alpha/beta, Nice-guy/Bad-boy, in that case it is self-imposed prison. Just a maladaptive belief system that won't lead to anything healthy.

Yes we want someone who values us so look for that, it is not that those that reject us and hurt us are overall superior.
People can be cruel and take advantage of us. It's up to us if we are going to tolerate that or not.
Look for those who treat you good and treat others how you want to be treated.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1474
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Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 8:30:28 AM

This is unbelievable. Let me guess, when the man reciprocates, then it's time to wrap up in the victimhood blanket and scream every feminist buzzword known to humanity? Having a bad day is about the most piss-poor excuse a woman could ever muster up for being a complete twat.


I think you'll find most people were nice to him until they realised he'd exposed who she was and then most of the sympathy went the other way then, to her.
So what if she's a twat, so was he for not reading her profile and messaging her. Some people expect those interested in them to read their profile, that's why they have one.


YET THEY WILL NEVER ****ING LEAVE THE SITE. THEY WOULD RATHER STAY AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN.

True problem solvers, they are!


Why should they leave? Maybe they're enjoying the site apart from idiots messaging them.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1475
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 9:28:29 AM


I would not have coddled an overweight woman in his same position.


But as you said, you wouldn't insult her. The funny thing about that thread is, if you look at who the insulters were, it was people who were too chicken shit to even post a profile picture and the most undesirable, lowlife, piece of excrement humanoids roaming the Earth.


I wouldn’t have insulted either one of them. I do think the man, who was significantly overweight, was being unrealistic in contacting a woman who was in great physical shape - in this case, the woman appeared to be into bodybuilding. Just the difference in their lifestyles alone would have made them an unlikely match for one another, IMO.

I don’t think that was any justification for her being rude to him, however. She shouldn’t have replied to him if she wasn’t interested. As for the posters who insulted him - some had profile pictures, and some didn’t.
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