Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Paying for a date      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1476
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best optionsPage 60 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)
I don't like any of my friends sexually either. I certainly wouldn't hang around a guy hoping to expect to have sex with him at some point. Not saying that it doesn't happen but in my case i don't do that. Although i slowed down meeting guys over a year ago to try to get to know them but that even backfired so now all guys are classed as friends only and if something develops from that it's gonna take ages.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1477
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 12:25:08 PM

Now, let's be honest here. If that thread had been started by an overweight woman who experienced the same with a man, she would have been coddled endlessly and told how beautiful she was.


I would not have coddled an overweight woman in his same position. I would have told her to start working on raising her self-esteem.


But what did some of the biggest forums LOSERS do?? They ridiculed him and told him he should have KNOWN he didn't have a chance. Fücking hypocrites. I wasn't about to let that shit slide, and I didn't.

My whole point in not thinking in terms of leagues is that one needs to refrain from it for the sake of not getting caught in the excuse making rut. You want to be perceived as "high value" or ''big league"? Do what it takes to get there or shut the hell up about leagues.


I think he should have been given constructive criticism rather than being ridiculed. "Doing what it takes to get there" encompasses raising his self-esteem level and working toward self-improvement - which is basically what I said.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1478
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 4:19:28 PM

...here's the problem with the concept of "leagues": It's the same with bad-boy vs nice-guy, and alpha-male vs beta-male.

I would say "leagues" is on the same level as rating one's looks 1-10. There's a subjective read to it, 1-10. But when one is Clearly better looking than the other, with nothing else to make an exception out of it (fame/local-popularity, well-known-$$, the other having mental/emotional issues, etc), we say "they're out of your league". It doesn't mean you don't ever fish in that pond, but being Truly blind to it can make you waste your time if you're too focused on it. Looks matter. There's differences in looks. Looks is by default the #1 attribute to pull in people in or shoo them away. And there are sometimes Stark differences in that dept -- hence the term 'league', noting that.

And also, as I wrote before, having a leaguless outlook may be two different experiences....observing no leagues below you, and observing no leagues above you. Fishing in leagues above one's own league is a whole different ballgame, er, fishing game vs. below you.

True. If there are no 'leagues', then there's no universal looks, and looks is purely subjective -- which is not the case. Hence, you should expect your chances of what the people rate a "10" saying Yes to you being the same of what the people rate a "5", because it's all BS, right? And more importantly, your desire to have what the people rate a "5" is going to be the same as what the people rate a "10" -- because looks is just a random role of the dice... or so close to it, that there's little difference between them All (hence no such thing as a big-difference aka "league" difference).

Self-denying the concept that there's any big differences in looks, and that a gal who folks think is a "10" is going to be the same as a "5" saying Yes -- that does have it's advantage. Gives one more balls without even knowing it. But it has it's drawback too: I'm getting shot down Way too much -- wth? To that I would say "Because there Are such things as universally prettier than another. You're going after the prettier ones, and they are going to get better looking guys than you without too much effort. You DO realize a big difference in looks, underneath it all. Otherwise, you wouldn't be chasing the 8-10s, Mr Average Joe. If big difference in looks didn't exist, you'd be going after 2s just as much as 9s... and one man's 9 is another man's 2, and vice versa. That's Not how the world actually works."
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1479
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 4:53:39 PM
That has been my point. You can hit up someone not in your league, but if that's your only focus, you're going to be one lonely dude or dudette. League can mean looks, social status, monetary status.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1480
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 8:55:36 PM

There was a thread in here not long ago, which was started by a man who admitted that he had low self-worth. He had contacted an attractive woman, who rudely told him in so many words that she was out of his league. It devastated him so much that he actually posted a link to her profile.

My thoughts are that if you're going to "fish in other leagues", you should first work on raising your self-esteem level. You need to develop a thick skin and be okay with the possibility of getting shot down. The same holds true for people you think of as your equals.


Leagues or not, her response was uncalled for. She could have simply say "No thanks" or don't respond.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1481
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:23:13 PM

Leagues or not, her response was uncalled for. She could have simply say "No thanks" or don't respond.


She could've done either of those things but you know women don't have to be polite if they don't want to be. They're people too, can be having a bad day or just sick of men messaging them who are not what they consider suitable. Mostly i ignore guys who i don't think are compatible but some of them i have sent sarcastic messages too because they haven't even bothered reading my profile.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1482
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:40:24 PM

She could've done either of those things but you know women don't have to be polite if they don't want to be. They're people too, can be having a bad day or just sick of men messaging them who are not what they consider suitable. Mostly i ignore guys who i don't think are compatible but some of them i have sent sarcastic messages too because they haven't even bothered reading my profile.


Not a valid excuse. Don't defend or justify that response. If a man got an email from a fat woman and made a rude comment in response about her not being in his league because of her weight, he would be crucified.

Also if a woman is having a bad day or is upset just because she is getting emails from men she's not interested in, then maybe she should take a break from OLD until she is in a better mood.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1483
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:59:08 PM

Not a valid excuse. Don't defend or justify that response. If a man got an email from a fat woman and made a rude comment in response about her not being in his league because of her weight, he would be crucified.


Not by me he wouldn't. I do think there are leagues. I think they're more specific though to individuals, so being fat might not make a person unattractive but something else can (like for me if you're face isn't attractive then i'm not interested but fat wouldn't bother me). I think people need to remember that they aren't gonna be attractive to everyone, it's not big deal and doesn't make a person ugly to everyone, but there are people who are gonna be low down on the attractiveness scale and they chance it with people higher up.

I was one of the people who called out the guy who made that topic because i felt he was seeking sympathy, then i changed my mind after he said something else, then he got all bitter and any sympathy he had got from me was gone again. He was as much of a tit as she was anyway.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1484
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 3:59:31 AM

She could've done either of those things but you know women don't have to be polite if they don't want to be. They're people too, can be having a bad day


This is unbelievable. Let me guess, when the man reciprocates, then it's time to wrap up in the victimhood blanket and scream every feminist buzzword known to humanity? Having a bad day is about the most piss-poor excuse a woman could ever muster up for being a complete twat.


or just sick of men messaging them who are not what they consider suitable.


YET THEY WILL NEVER ****ING LEAVE THE SITE. THEY WOULD RATHER STAY AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN.

True problem solvers, they are!


I would not have coddled an overweight woman in his same position.


But as you said, you wouldn't insult her. The funny thing about that thread is, if you look at who the insulters were, it was people who were too chicken shit to even post a profile picture and the most undesirable, lowlife, piece of excrement humanoids roaming the Earth.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1485
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 6:45:30 AM

Not by me he wouldn't. I do think there are leagues. I think they're more specific though to individuals, so being fat might not make a person unattractive but something else can (like for me if you're face isn't attractive then i'm not interested but fat wouldn't bother me). I think people need to remember that they aren't gonna be attractive to everyone, it's not big deal and doesn't make a person ugly to everyone, but there are people who are gonna be low down on the attractiveness scale and they chance it with people higher up.


Of course, people should realize not everyone will be attracted in them. That still doesn't justify a woman being rude to a man that she's not interested in. If a man said some nasty things in retaliation, then chances are we would be hearing about how men can't take a rejection. When it was actually her rude response to his initial email that set him off.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 1486
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 7:03:21 AM

There was a thread in here not long ago, which was started by a man who admitted that he had low self-worth. He had contacted an attractive woman, who rudely told him in so many words that she was out of his league. It devastated him so much that he actually posted a link to her profile.

My thoughts are that if you're going to "fish in other leagues", you should first work on raising your self-esteem level. You need to develop a thick skin and be okay with the possibility of getting shot down. The same holds true for people you think of as your equals.

Lmao everyone referring to THAT thread.
That guy posted her profile to call her out and for malicious reasons, NOT because he was 'soo devastated' therefore he posted her profile.
Come on it's obvious.
It's ok to be upset for being treated cruelly but like don't pretend when you are up to no good and want some revenge.

Alpha and beta/ Nice-guy bad-boy is either used when someone is trying to put others down because they are a narcissist and think they are an 'Alpha' or used to make excuses for a lack of success aka 'Wahh bad-boys get all the girls and nice guys like me get ignored'. Also implies there is no issue or underlying reason for lack of success in 'nice-guys' meaning they have underlying narcissism. The only time I want to see the terms alpha and beta is in omegaverse.

All this just reminds me of Caste Heaven. Now in modern society, we don't really have clear social rankings and weird stuff that separates us into rankings that dictate how we behave and how others treat us. We can perceive imaginary rankings aka Alpha/beta, Nice-guy/Bad-boy, in that case it is self-imposed prison. Just a maladaptive belief system that won't lead to anything healthy.

Yes we want someone who values us so look for that, it is not that those that reject us and hurt us are overall superior.
People can be cruel and take advantage of us. It's up to us if we are going to tolerate that or not.
Look for those who treat you good and treat others how you want to be treated.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1487
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 8:30:28 AM

This is unbelievable. Let me guess, when the man reciprocates, then it's time to wrap up in the victimhood blanket and scream every feminist buzzword known to humanity? Having a bad day is about the most piss-poor excuse a woman could ever muster up for being a complete twat.


I think you'll find most people were nice to him until they realised he'd exposed who she was and then most of the sympathy went the other way then, to her.
So what if she's a twat, so was he for not reading her profile and messaging her. Some people expect those interested in them to read their profile, that's why they have one.


YET THEY WILL NEVER ****ING LEAVE THE SITE. THEY WOULD RATHER STAY AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN AND COMPLAIN.

True problem solvers, they are!


Why should they leave? Maybe they're enjoying the site apart from idiots messaging them.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1488
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 9:28:29 AM


I would not have coddled an overweight woman in his same position.


But as you said, you wouldn't insult her. The funny thing about that thread is, if you look at who the insulters were, it was people who were too chicken shit to even post a profile picture and the most undesirable, lowlife, piece of excrement humanoids roaming the Earth.


I wouldn’t have insulted either one of them. I do think the man, who was significantly overweight, was being unrealistic in contacting a woman who was in great physical shape - in this case, the woman appeared to be into bodybuilding. Just the difference in their lifestyles alone would have made them an unlikely match for one another, IMO.

I don’t think that was any justification for her being rude to him, however. She shouldn’t have replied to him if she wasn’t interested. As for the posters who insulted him - some had profile pictures, and some didn’t.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1489
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 12:12:25 PM

the most undesirable, lowlife, piece of excrement


I hope the "constipated" one took a dump by now

:rolling:
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1490
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 4:41:48 PM

Why should they leave? Maybe they're enjoying the site apart from idiots messaging them.


Oh, really? What could they possibly be "enjoying" if their experience is nothing but tiresome accosting by men they don't want? Did POF add some ultra-cool new features I'm unaware of? Gaming?? An online merchandise shop??

Please enlighten me on these fun-filled, thrill-a-minute activities. I'm all ears.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1491
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/19/2018 5:39:56 PM

Oh, really? What could they possibly be "enjoying" if their experience is nothing but tiresome accosting by men they don't want? Did POF add some ultra-cool new features I'm unaware of? Gaming?? An online merchandise shop??

Please enlighten me on these fun-filled, thrill-a-minute activities. I'm all ears.


Lol, will admit for me for personally i do not enjoy the POF dating site itself (which is why i never rush to my inbox if i have messages). Kind of figured out it's not got the type of guy i'm looking for a while ago and i'm not that bothered about getting into a relationship anyway, but i keep mine because you never know. Never had messages from local socials on here so i followed them on facebook instead, so never really needed an account here for that reason either.

But on other sites where i did get more messages what i considered good then i could overlook the bad because the good was worth staying for. When there is more bad than good i tend to just delete my profile or hide it if it's ever been slightly good at some point or other site features are useful. But not all sites are that awful you need to get rid of your profile on them.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1492
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 7:38:32 AM

I wouldn’t have insulted either one of them. I do think the man, who was significantly overweight, was being unrealistic in contacting a woman who was in great physical shape - in this case, the woman appeared to be into bodybuilding. Just the difference in their lifestyles alone would have made them an unlikely match for one another, IMO.


Maybe it's unrealistic for an overweight man to contact ONLY thin and/or fit women. But it's possible he contacts women from various body types because he liked the pictures and what is written in the profile. Perhaps most thin or fit women wouldn't be interested in him. But there could be a few of these women that could overlook his weight. Unless a woman had put on her profile that she was looking for a man with a fit or athletic body type, he would never know for sure until he contacted them.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1493
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 8:15:34 AM
You would have had to have seen his and her profile. They were obviously not a match. He was solely looking at a pic and decided she was fvck worthy, and that is insulting, unless she stated she was only looking for sex, and she did not.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1494
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 8:24:16 AM
^^^^^^
My previous statement also depended on who else he contacted. Since there is no way of knowing that, I used words such as "possible".
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1495
view profile
History
Women choose best options & pretend they are +2 better
Posted: 6/20/2018 11:55:45 AM

Now in modern society, we don't really have clear social rankings and weird stuff that separates us into rankings that dictate how we behave and how others treat us. We can perceive imaginary rankings aka Alpha/beta, Nice-guy/Bad-boy, in that case it is self-imposed prison. Just a maladaptive belief system that won't lead to anything healthy.

I love the term "Self-imposed prison," because that is pretty much what people are doing - and it's not only to the negative side.

Adding more to their own worth and pretending they deserve more - believing a higher class of citizen is where to find the One - it pretty much like locking yourself in the penthouse and ignoring the other 40 floors, expecting the person to show up there is the cream of the crop. Funny thing is, most of the people showing up there are working class people - maids, cooks, plumbers, delivery people, and so on -- because the King/Queen of the Castle is never home.

Eventually, but not always, people realize that life of exclusivity needs to involve mingling with the Help, because there is no one else to talk to.

Unfortunately, online social networks connections extend that delusion by a few years or more.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1496
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 1:13:07 PM

I think they're more specific though to individuals, so being fat might not make a person unattractive but something else can (like for me if you're face isn't attractive then i'm not interested but fat wouldn't bother me).

Fat will affect the face, and face is #1 for everyone, although guys tend to give more credence to a body that's above-average than gals (but it still means something for gals; masculinity expressed). But just because some gals may like fat guys who aren't just big all-around but fat -- doesn't mean it's 50/50. It's far from random. That's something people's esteems can't take. The upside is that anyone (even HawkingJr) can find someone if they dig enough, with an on-par swagger/game/attitude/persona.

The 1-10 is about raw looks. Which is usually The thing when it comes to dating marketability. Knowledge of lots of $$ is rarely known, and rarely are they famous. Within certain circles you can have popularity play a role, but by and large that doesn't come into the equation either. Aside from overall looks (which has it's different attributes in itself), one's Dating Market Value usually is affected by:

- Just about Not Lacking in attitude/persona when it comes to stranger-meets-stranger to see if there's a "spark".

- Attitude/swagger/game/etc plays a significant role when the Looks don't stick out in a positive or negative way (neutral-zone) -- but random environmental factors can also increase or decrease your chances, too.

- If you're Above Waters in the Looks dept compared to your target, you can lack a bit in attitude/persona/Type... and if you're Below Waters in the Looks dept (but not Immediately ruled out by it), your attitude/persona/Type in how you come across can get you a W. But, like the neutral zone, random environmental factors can play a role, too.

Overall, the trend tends to be, IMO: Girls are generally into looks more than they claim... and when it comes to Relationship Potential, guys are not as into looks as folks believe either. They become more the same when Relationship is each's aim, assuming nothing else is standing out about their story. It's easier to land a (usually not-that-interested) Date with a gal with a Significantly greater Dating Market Value than you, than to get a string of dates, porking, or obviously datING her. Getting a # or landing a date is less "Ohhh" of a guy significantly lacking in Dating Market Value than the gal. It stands out when they become an item or you find out they've been porking on the side for some time.

Dating Market Value carries less weight when you've gotten to know them thru work or a relatively close social-group, over time. But it doesn't mean it should carry Expectations that Average Joe has great chances at getting Hot Veronica over time... because at that workplace/social-circle, every Below/Above/Average Joe is aiming for that, too.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1497
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 1:24:38 PM
^^ Do u have a PUA site?

You sound a tad bit like LEYKIS 101
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 1498
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 4:13:40 PM


^^ Do u have a PUA site?

You sound a tad bit like LEYKIS 101

No, actually he doesn’t. Not even close.

A PUA will be telling men,


It doesn’t matter if you’re plain or average looking, you too can pick up smoking hot babes. Just send a check for $500 to my PO Box and I will rush deliver you the INSIDE TRACK to dating all of the hot women you could ever want!!!

Instead, what NG is saying – looks do matter. Sometime they matter more, sometime less, but they ALWAYS matter. (Reader’s Digest Condensed Version there for you.)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1499
view profile
History
Women are going to choose the best options
Posted: 6/20/2018 7:27:21 PM

You sound a tad bit like LEYKIS 101


Tom Leykis has said that the PUA community has borrowed some of his teachings. Leykis 101 originated around 1998. Not sure when PUA started.

Leykis has an internet show currently that I listen to.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1500
view profile
History
ALL choices have consequences
Posted: 6/22/2018 11:25:58 AM
Listening to Leykis makes you realize what having even a little power enables you to do. The guy has control over the show, so whatever is on it, he is emboldened to be brazen and crude whenever he so wishes, because the 'Dump' button is always there. Conservative radio talk shows are the exact same way. They don't need to have any objectivity or even dignity with their words because they are the gatekeeper of their own shows.

People out in the dating scene are no different. They may be apologetic and polite by themselves, but add a couple friends, maybe a drink or two, and they can (and DO) become just as crass and mean as the talking heads and squawk boxes ranting the broadcast waves every day.

That over-reaction and drama that broadcasters create is done because it lures people in to listen. Friendly hugs and handshakes won't draw a crowd - but fistfights do. Sadly, people take that mentality home with them - being easily (and loudly) offended over simple disagreements. Having that polarizing mentality ("If you're not with us, you're against us.") is simplistic and cruel - and it WORKS for creating drama in the entertainment industry. But real life doesn't end with their broadcast show time. People who get hurt in real life don't always resolve things by the next commercial break. THAT is the cruelty of the decisions we make. It's not that people get turned down or rejected - it's the lack of patience and total non-sympathy about how they do it. 'I don't like you - now, go away.'

It's also the lack of patience with our friends when it comes to recovery afterward...
'Rub some dirt in it.' 'Have another drink.' 'You are too good for them, anyway.'
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Paying for a date