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 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1501
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ALL choices have consequencesPage 61 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)

I don't even know WTF we're talking about anymore.

Hahahaha!!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1502
ALL choices have consequences
Posted: 6/22/2018 6:56:46 PM
^^

shouldn't u be out collecting empty soda bottles & cans?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1503
ALL choices have consequences
Posted: 6/23/2018 6:04:15 AM
^^^ Says the lady who’s too cheap to pay for the cost of her own consumption.

I don’t see how a woman making the first move encourages a man to use her. That’s like saying all men are abusers who will take advantage of a woman if they’re given a chance. That is just nonsense. I would never try to take advantage of a woman just because she asked me out for a coffee. A woman who doesn’t trust men usually has bigger issues.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1504
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 6/23/2018 9:51:17 AM
A lot of what I see in dates, and a lot of what I am reading in here - is fear. Instead of trying to get to know the other personal and develop a rapport with them, people are selfishly turning inward - more worried about themselves and what their actions say about them. People are fearful to be seen as pushy, as cheap, as ignorant, as slutty, as dumb - so instead of making the effort needed, they sit back and hope the other person does the 'right' thing. This fear is by no means exclusive to one gender or the other. We both are chicken to stick our necks out.

The other person doesn't know you. They can't possibly read your mind or know exactly how you feel from previous experiences and relationships. They don't know what your 'trigger' words may be. ALL that stuff is found out over time, and I don't mean in the first hour or two of the first 'interview' date. Some of that stuff takes years to figure out. You have to be willing to SHARE your feelings, SHARE the stresses, SHARE your time AND the cost of what it takes to get to know someone. That doesn't happen unless you get over the fear of being labeled, being rejected, being something less than perfect.

The basics of what pickup artists do - as well as women who want cheap relationships - is really no big secret. They seduce people in, get them comfortable, and then get them flustered with vague insecurities. They PLAY on that fear. People that can't figure out where they stand are the most easily manipulated. 'Negging' is a word often used to describe how they manipulate, but it is not the only word, or method.

I find the people in these forums that take the most decisive stands on 'This Is The Way It Is" are usually some of the most insecure. They feign confidence, put chips on their shoulders, over-compensate with grandiose statements - because that is how they deal with that fear. If you ever meet some of those gregarious radio personalities in real life - they are incredibly reserved and insecure outside of the broadcast booth. Because they are playing a character - they are entertaining - that is their job - not their life. They get death threats on a regular basis, so they almost HAVE to be quiet and avoid the limelight.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1505
Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/7/2018 1:03:33 PM
For all those people who think it’s NATURAL that a man should always pay, they obviously don’t know about the bonobo chimpanzee. It’s actually the females who offer food to the males in return for sex. Many female animals are also providers.
 jfrauli82
Joined: 9/28/2014
Msg: 1506
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/7/2018 4:04:53 PM
would you like meet up lunch or dinner some time?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1507
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ALL choices have consequences
Posted: 7/7/2018 4:54:57 PM

Well guess what, SOME of the women who participate here lay it out the same way.
How it is.

Are you including yourself in that elite mix? ;)

Except the misogynists & enablist women don't like it.

Not my circus.

Here's the thing, though, in all seriousness. Preemptive planning, "scheming" -- is frowned upon. It takes away the serendipity of it all, takes away the 'magic' [insert spirit-fingers here] when things are schemed/pre-planned like one's drawing out football plays with Xs and Os. Not to mention of course, YES, misogynists & Actual players revel in having that mindset (guilt by association on top of it) -- although actual effective players, it's Not robotic, but becomes natural.

But Most women -- society in general -- Is Indirectly ASKING many Many men to have that mindset much of the time when they're single. And it doesn't make a guy a pig whatsoever, just because pigs like that mindset (or anything that Works). When describing it, sure, to the Romantic, it sounds cold & what players would say/do. But it also takes the positive emotion out of sex when in sex ed class talking about your parents all having sex to make ya.

Bottom line is at some point, most guys should have an Xs and Os mentality when they're single & their game isn't naturally good. Also, many guys who are wallflowers or don't approach, etc -- even by what grandma says to do -- take the approaching-a-girl scenario Too Emotionally. They get too nervous. They need to tone it down, chill out, and take More a robotic POV. Not a robotic POV about being an item with a girl. A robotic POV to set aside the overdriven emotional nervousness, and even frustration if they're feeling it.

Society in general is Asking for this indirectly -- because the expectation is for guys they Don't Know, to come up to them... while also being "pshawed" many times, even by decent gals in not the greatest of moods. It's tough. Having a more robotic mindset for this First Phase -- approaching a girl, striking conversation, and garnering mutual interest -- is Helpful. For Good Guys. Some PUA stuff will motivate them with trashy guy-talk, sure -- and also motivating them as The way to 'get laid'. But regardless, whether you're a nice Mormon Boy or a guy who fits into the show Jersey Shore -- if you're Expected Approaching Women game is off and you're too nervous about it -- yes, you follow a "cold" Xs & Os approach to it, until it becomes more natural.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1508
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/7/2018 6:10:16 PM

For all those people who think it’s NATURAL that a man should always pay, they obviously don’t know about the bonobo chimpanzee. It’s actually the females who offer food to the males in return for sex. Many female animals are also providers.


They can also have sex with lots of males so that the males aren't sure if a baby is theirs or not. Some males kill off competitors offspring, tricking them is one way to ensure these babies survive. Some bonobo males are also rapists and isolate females from others. Sometimes the females use distraction techniques to trick males into thinking a baby is theirs and they have 'affairs' behind their partners back so that a different male is the sperm donor.

I love Dr Robert Sapolsky, he has done loads of studies on monkeys, and although you can compare their behaviour to humans none of it is actually natural. One group he was watching (and taking blood tests of to see what stress did to their bodies) the alpha males caused a lot of stress for the whole group with their behaviour, when they accidently died the group changed and was way less stressful and the 'beta?' monkeys became more confident as well as happier overall. So any new monkeys wandering into the troop were ostrcised if they showed any aggressive behaviour and were only allowed into the group if the showed they were not aggressive any more, could take months for them to be accepted but if they did not show usual aggressive behaviour they were allowed in.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1509
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/7/2018 6:20:36 PM
Forgot to say it's not natural behaviour because once you get rid of certain types of monkeys from troops the troop changes, none of the beta monkeys wanted to be the alphas and nobody tried to replace them, it wasn't natural for any of those left to replace them. Once the groups abusers and controllers died everyone was happier, their health improved, and they didn't want those types back in the group and actively kept them out.

I think this is why so many men are anti-feminists, they see that their power (ie. abuse) is not working and have to back down and let people have their own life without their control and they hate that.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 1510
Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/7/2018 6:35:37 PM
^^^ ^^^ Bonobo females can also be agressive. In zoos where females have more power than they would in the wild, it’s common for males to be missing fingers and have other injuries to their genitals. Scientists have also found that the males are more stressed out in the female-dominated bonobo society than the male-dominated chimp society.

A lot of the most vitriolic comments I’ve seen about feminism on the internet have come from other women. They realize that if they have all the rights that men have, they will also have all the responsibilities- financial responsibilities, being eligible to do military service, paying alimony, etc., and they are afraid of that. It’s not all women who think that way, but some clearly do.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1511
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/7/2018 6:39:31 PM
I'm a single mum no point in preaching about that stuff to me as i already have those responsibilities.
Oh i'm anti-army though and anti-war. My son wanted to join the army after they visited his school and made it sound like it was like a video game, i had to explain the people he'd be killing are real and not characters.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 1512
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/7/2018 6:45:59 PM
Didn't mean you was literally preaching lol, sorry. I didn't feel nagged or anything. But yeah sometimes women can be as toxic as men but i tend to see men justifying their abuse of women all the time, occasionally a woman will back one up (and with it being on the internet i do wonder if it's a fake profile or a real woman).
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1513
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/8/2018 8:51:46 AM
Quick example of a first date, okay... second first date I had recently. We went out a few times last year. That faded away. She contacted me recently so we went out again last weekend. Had a nice dinner at a restaurant on the water while watching the sunset then fireworks after that. I paid for dinner. We later stopped for Ben and Jerry's ice cream while walking around town. She mentioned I paid for dinner so she could at least cover the ice cream.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1514
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Get over it. Whatever 'it' may be
Posted: 7/8/2018 11:06:30 AM
^^^ She made contact with you and she only paid for ice cream? You got the short end on that one.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 1515
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 4:34:57 AM
God yes I’m offended. Ask me out on a date then says hey babe let’s go dutch. Really. You go Dutch while I go Houdini on you.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1516
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:00:03 AM

Ask me out on a date then says hey babe let’s go dutch. Really. You go Dutch while I go Houdini on you.

HOLY FVCK I AM STEALING THIS LINE!
 omgyaa
Joined: 4/13/2018
Msg: 1517
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:22:12 AM
Ummm.. why would you need to steal that line ? Aren't you married/in a relationship? Hope it isn't for you to continue to go on and on and on about expressing the same opinion about paying for a date.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 1518
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:23:01 AM
I had a date yesterday with a guy who is BROKE. I offered to pay my share and he was offended. He gets a second date!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1519
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:25:15 AM
^^That man is smart

I cannot believe some man hasn't scooped you up yet, If I had a younger brother, I'd want him to meet you!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1520
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:27:04 AM

Aren't you married/in a relationship? Hope it isn't for you to continue to go on and on and on about expressing the same opinion about paying for a date.


He has a wallet, LOL!





In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 1521
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:36:34 AM

^^That man is smart

I cannot believe some man hasn't scooped you up yet, If I had a younger brother, I'd want him to meet you!

Thanks. I was married to a toxic job for too long. Not anymore.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1522
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 5:58:42 AM
the ex husband or the job? My last job was so dysfunctional, I never experienced anything like it. After I was gone a few years, I got the 4-1-1 from several ppl on how things went down.

Not only are you pretty, smart, have good moral codes, as I recall you do not have children/a child. So a man looking to remarry would see it as not additional baggage. It may sound mean, I don't mean it that way, it's just easier when kids r not part of the equation.

And it may be slightly racist/nationalist, I know you're of Eastern European descent. Right now that is a hot ticket.

In general, most Eastern Euro women were raised w/ good domestic skills as well as an emphasis on education & w/ strong work ethics. A man looking for a serious relationship who also has some smarts would see the value in that.

Disclaimer: in saying what I say I do not mean to marginalize any non Eastern Euro women
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 1523
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 7:06:17 AM

God yes I’m offended. Ask me out on a date then says hey babe let’s go dutch. Really. You go Dutch while I go Houdini on you.



I had a date yesterday with a guy who is BROKE. I offered to pay my share and he was offended. He gets a second date!


Unless a man states that he would pay for me prior to the date, I offer to pay at least my share. No assumptions or expectations for me. Sometimes I offered to pay the entire bill. Such as when a man agreed to a date location that was closer to me. Or I needed to postpone the date and he was understanding about it.

Very few men were offended when I offered. Most men either accepted or politely declined it. For the most part, the only time I would be disappointed about how the bill was paid is when most of the bill came from the items he ordered. Yet he wants to split it 50-50. I would probably offer to pay the whole thing if/when most of the bill was from what I ordered.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1524
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 7:33:13 AM
Women set the standard for how they want to be treated. You've got the power ladies, so use it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1525
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/12/2018 8:50:32 AM

Women set the standard for how they want to be treated. You've got the power ladies, so use it.


I expect to be treated as an equal in the work place. I don't think a man should make more than me for doing the
same job. I don't think I should get special treatment if I choose to take a job that is normally male dominated.

I expect to be treated as an equal at home. I don't think washing dishes, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, mowing
the lawn, taking out the trash are girl/boy jobs.

I expect to be treated like a human being on a date. I'll hold open doors, and I'll thank anyone who holds the door
for me...male or female. You don't have to win the race to open a car door for me, but if you do, I'll appreciate it.
(I miss the old time locks when you could reach over and unlock the door for someone else.) I'll offer to pay my share
and I won't be pissy if you accept. I'll thank you if you pay, but I won't assume you expect more. I'll carry on my share
of a conversation and I won't be handing out tests or scoring your performance. If I like you, I'll suggest or agree to
another date. If I don't, I'll thank you and we'll go our separate ways. If you don't like me, I'll still thank you and go
our separate ways. If you're rude to me or the waitstaff or make comments I'm uncomfortable with, I'll leave. You
can feel free to leave anytime as well.

I do this not because I'm female or a feminist or a humanist or any other sort of ist. I do it because I'm a ****ing
adult and I know how to behave and treat people.
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