Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Paying for a date      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1576
view profile
History
Paying for a datePage 64 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)
I usually don't post links here so I don't know if this will work. I follow this person on Facebook. He gives relationship advice. Today's video is about who pays on a date -

https://www.facebook.com/derrickjaxn1/videos/1162980707188581/
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1577
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/18/2018 5:12:27 PM
Link works. Very interesting. While men are fighting being men, women are finding men that exemplify what a man is. Real men are going on dates, respecting women, and are handsomely repaid by women that adore them.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1578
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/18/2018 6:15:38 PM
"are handsomely repaid by women that adore them."

And some are so worried about buying a cup of coffee or a cheap meal, they cannot even get a real date let alone that adoring woman!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1579
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/18/2018 8:19:47 PM

I usually don't post links here so I don't know if this will work. I follow this person on Facebook. He gives relationship advice. Today's video is about who pays on a date -

https://www.facebook.com/derrickjaxn1/videos/1162980707188581/


I saw that video before. I don't think everything has to be 50-50. But not all relationships have to completely follow traditional gender roles. I have dated women that wanted to pump gas into their own cars or sometimes hold the door for me. Doesn't mean that men in these situations aren't respectful or aren't in solid relationships.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 1580
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/18/2018 8:26:53 PM
^^ I saw that meme earlier today. Like Ssm, I don't believe everything has to be split 50/50 but there should be some balance. Regarding the meme, that's a great attitude to have. Too many people, men and women, reek of entitlement.
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 1581
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 5:45:31 AM

I saw that meme earlier today. Like Ssm, I don't believe everything has to be split 50/50 but there should be some balance. Regarding the meme, that's a great attitude to have. Too many people, men and women, reek of entitlement.

He often talks about 2 types of men. The men that want to split everything and the men that charge and want to do almost everything. There are plenty of men somewhere in the middle that don't belong to either category. Like men that will spend more money on dates than a woman does. But the woman does sometimes contributes and pays for dates.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1582
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 11:43:40 AM
I don't think I know what treating a man like a man means.
It's not like I've ever asked one to wear a dress so I could pin up
a hem or asked for a night in so we could do each other's nails and
wear face masks. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I think people over think things. I'm lazy, I'm barely thinking when
I'm awake, I've got no time to overthink. Why not just treat a man
like a person, like someone you like, or perhaps even like a friend?
Why not just be kind and be a decent ****ing human being and quit
making up problems where there aren't any?
 cf1988
Joined: 6/17/2018
Msg: 1583
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 2:10:36 PM
Nah it's not a big deal to me
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 1584
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 2:24:06 PM
^^^ A woman's strength is not evidenced by her taking on a man's role.


It's certainly not evidenced by sitting back and just waiting for whatever life tosses at her.


Thats not what its about. Women want men to make moves, to take the lead. Women still want men who act like men. No that doesnt mean chewing bacon as he chops down a tree while wrestling an alligator. it just means someone who is confident, can lead and treat her well and show traits that complement a woman's strengths.

I think people get too worked up when there is talk of gender roles. No women dont have to be in the kitchen and the man is out making money and drinking after work with the guys.

A man paying for a date shows that instinct to provide and when a woman offers to pay for things here and there it shows she appreciates their time together.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1585
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 2:30:59 PM

The majority of women born after 1980 prefer to pay their share of the bill.

That is completely false, though. The best that could come of that when it comes to 'majority' would be that a majority of women born after 1980 would understand that under some circumstances that a lady may be in position to contribute on some dates. But I wouldn't put 1980 as the marker. My experience of going out on dates with gals born in 70s, 80s, and 90s has been the same.

Most women I had dates with offered to pay something on the first or second date.

Two things, though. There's a difference between preferring (wanting) VS offering. Big difference there. Second, there's a difference between merely Something (just the tip) VS what they consumed and were billed.

Also, I have plenty of dating experience, among gals of various genres/types, where I didn't Ask To Take Out the gal + not progressively leaning forward to nab the whole bill on dates. Given that, it's no apparent minority that by 3rd date+, the gal "still" hasn't offered to contribute to anything she's been billed on. From my experience, a slight majority that they won't -- and a large minority that she will at least give a faux offer or sincere offer of Something by date 3+.

If a stance of not wanting to pay for a date partially or wholly effects a man's number of dates, that's something they live with just like I live with my decision of thinking a man should pay for the initial dates he asks me on, but that has never been a problem for me.

I agree that a guy has to live with it -- as in, sorry pal, it's unfair, life's unfair -- suck it up and roll with it. Of course, that's not the same as a lady saying "Well, I have to live with him paying my way on dates." :)

so why not make it a relatively inexpensive date?

Well, it's not just 1 date. Only if you're looking to brush up on dating experience (or looking for a one-and-done 1-nigher, I guess), should the aim be just 1 date.

That said, it's the principle of the matter. Your advice only applies to guys saying "Seriously, I don't have the budget for optimal dating."
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 1586
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 2:51:58 PM
@tech30

A man paying for a date shows that instinct to provide and when a woman offers to pay for things here and there it shows she appreciates their time together

Yeessssss. After 64 pages of comments someone gets it.
 michele6259
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 1587
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 5:18:57 PM
Great post indeed!
@ tech30
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 1588
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 5:49:20 PM

That is completely false, though. The best that could come of that when it comes to 'majority' would be that a majority of women born after 1980 would understand that under some circumstances that a lady may be in position to contribute on some dates. But I wouldn't put 1980 as the marker. My experience of going out on dates with gals born in 70s, 80s, and 90s has been the same.


You took my words out of context. I was talking about women born after 1980 in my social circle. I didn't say that was true (or false) for this entire demographic as a whole. The following was my original statement.


This is certainly not scientific. But I have also talked to various women about this. The following is for women in my social circle. The majority of women born before 1960 prefer a man to pay. Women born in the 1960s and 1970s have mixed views. The majority of women born after 1980 prefer to pay their share of the bill.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1589
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 6:07:23 PM

Two things, though. There's a difference between preferring (wanting) VS offering. Big difference there. Second, there's a difference between merely Something (just the tip) VS what they consumed and were billed.


Of course there is a difference. In my previous posts, I have acknowledged that sometimes what a woman offered to pay on my first or second dates was a snack / drink after I had paid for a more expensive item or the tip. But that was fine with me. I have said before it doesn't have to be 50-50.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1590
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 6:13:13 PM
Ssm, why is less than 50% okay?
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1591
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 7:30:42 PM
Dating is not necessarily tit for tat. A man paying for an item that cost $20 doesn't mean a woman must buy an item of equal value. A woman that is willing to contribute for a portion of the cost can show she appreciates a man and doesn't expect a man to pay for everything.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1592
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 7:40:19 PM
Why wouldn't you expect 50%? Some men do, that's why I inquire. Aren't you letting her of the hook? I'm not a contributor most times on dates, but do invites for really nice dinners, and after a few dates, there's more hanging out at my place where he spends zero, and I'm footing the bill for food.
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 1593
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 9:17:41 PM
No they don't they want effort of 50% towards the relationship so its not a one way thing or it feels like their being used. Get the money shit out of your head and look at like he comes 50% you go your 50% or fvck off.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1594
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/19/2018 10:07:54 PM
I end up spending a lot of money on entertaining at my home. I should be asking for the men to contribute, but I'm not cheap. Therein lies the difference. All the men I've known love being cooked for and waited on all night. A guy would have to be stupid to want a few dollars to split date costs instead of what I offer, and not to be in return, but because I want to do it out of affection. Splitting the bill puts you in the friend zone. I know money must to tight for you, but dates don't have to cost a lot, or cost anything, so you can still date and hold onto your manhood by acting like a man.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1595
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 6:56:05 AM
^^^^Do you ask your friends and family to contribute when you entertain them in
your home? Do you not offer to pay or contribute when out with your family or friends
or do they foot the entire bill?

I don't see the difference really.
It's been my experience that many men will not accept a contribution (in which case
I'll offer the tip), but I don't see the problem with offering. What if money is tight for
one or the other?

I was talk to share at an early age.
I guess it stuck with me.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1596
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 7:03:48 AM
If / when a woman does invite me to her house, I would still offer to contribute something. Appetizers, wine, desserts etc. Also a man can invite a woman to his house and entertain a woman as well. Not all relationships are about a man should always be expected to pay when they go out because a woman will cook dinner for him.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1597
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 7:19:23 AM

Splitting the bill puts you in the friend zone

Why? why....why....why???
Why do you insist on repeating this?
and how would you know if you have never offered to split the bill with a date??
what is the difference between you paying for a meal in your home....and splitting the bill?

Why does it make a man cheap....if I am the one offering to split the bill?
I haven't seen one man here say he asks his date to split the bill....but that they appreciate a woman that at least offers to either split the bill, or pay the tip, or buy an ice cream afterwards....
APPRECIATES IT....NOT EXPECTS IT!!
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1598
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 8:15:49 AM


Splitting the bill puts you in the friend zone


Why? why....why....why???
Why do you insist on repeating this?
and how would you know if you have never offered to split the bill with a date??
what is the difference between you paying for a meal in your home....and splitting the bill?


MsMicki, women with this attitude view men as providers, and can't get sexually turned on by a man unless he pursues them and foots the entire bill. It doesn't make any sense to women like us who believe in equality, but those feelings run deep and are unlikely to change.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1599
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 8:33:39 AM
Whiterose, really, so you always pay 50% of bills? Sure.

Micki, your relationship has been completely 50/50? Why is the bf doing any hard labor at your home with helping you with things? Taking it out on his hide? You ladies are free to do what you want or to make believe you do things a certain way to please men.

No man ever complained to me, except a loser pof guy that talked about women wanting to be wined and dined,which didn't relate to me. He preferred to be cheap, stay at home watching tv and jerking off. Everyone has their preferences. That guy never complained about my cooking for him and entertaining at my home, funny enough.

I've taken bfs and husbands out for dinner, just not on beginning dates where they did the asking. When I chose a restaurant, I paid. I have boundaries and self worth. Men with good intentions ask you out, and then don't ask you to pay for their date. To ask or expect money from a woman is low.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1600
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 9:32:22 AM
Why not at the beginning though? Is it a man's "job or role" to ask a woman out and pay for the first X amount of dates before she starts contributing. I don't ask women to split the bill. Most women I had dates with offered to contribute in some way for the cost of a first or second date. There's a difference.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Paying for a date