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 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1626
Paying for a datePage 66 of 74    (34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74)

I think what some people may be referring to (not necessarily NY) -- is that giving the "polite offer" alone doesn't cut one away from feeling entitled. Even if said lady is prepared for some guys to take them up on the offer, and prepared to follow-thru on a guy taking them up on it ("Big Mistake Bob! That's the last date you'll get out of me!"). Such faux offers, even if politely followed thru on when accepted -- is immature role-playing. In today's society, one would be silly to think everyone's on the same page with that game -- hence, it's not polite. Even if it's "half honest" (feeling half-entitled?).


NG, I'm aware that there are some women who give a "polite offer", albeit an insincere one, and then never see the man again if he takes them up on it. I think some women might do it as a way to "test" the man to see if he fits her idea of what a gentleman should do. Those women would be dishonest and be feeling fully entitled. I'm not one of them.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1627
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 3:42:23 PM

Still angry with me I see

don't flatter yourself....my comments are based on what is being said in THIS thread.

no teenaged girl has been molested in my care

mine either....if you're trying to make me look bad....try harder. (and get your facts straight)

You are more than welcome to your expectations and opinions....just like all of us here.
I don't give a rat's ass how many dates you have...but if it was really working for you...
wouldn't you be in a relationship instead of continually having dates??
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 3:58:32 PM

don't flatter yourself....my comments are based on what is being said in THIS thread.

Sure they are. LOL



if you're trying to make me look bad....try harder

You have no problem doing that all on your own.


but if it was really working for you...
wouldn't you be in a relationship instead of continually having dates??

Well , Ms, Know it all. I'm not looking for a relationship at this time, I'm quite content being single. I do like to date though.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1629
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 4:03:20 PM

I do like to date though

Since you aren't looking for a relationship and you absolutely refuse to contribute to the date....this could easily be translated into I like having dinners bought for me...
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 4:18:20 PM

this could easily be translated into I like having dinners bought for me...

I suppose if I dated a lower class of man he might think that. I don't date low class men or cheapskates, for that matter. I date honorable men who would be totally embarrassed at the thought of asking me out and expecting payment. LOL No calculators or dutch daters for this girl! BTW, I don't like food that much that I would just date some bozo to get a free meal. I can afford my own food! For the record, they ask me out, I don't ask them to take me out. I guess that translates into you ask me on a date, you will be a gentleman and pay. You don't like that , don't ask me.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1631
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 6:21:47 PM

Since you aren't looking for a relationship and you absolutely refuse to contribute to the date....this could easily be translated into I like having dinners bought for me...


If that is true, men who date & "aren't looking for a relationship" ...this could easily be translated into I like having nsa sex..


I suppose if I dated a lower class of man he might think that. I don't date low class men or cheapskates, for that matter. I date honorable men who would be totally embarrassed at the thought of asking me out and expecting payment.

The same way some men date only blondes, a famous example would be Rod Stewart
Rod Stewart Dating History
1 . Rod Stewart is married to Penny Lancaster.
2 . Rod Stewart dated Kimberley Conrad.
3 . Rod Stewart was married to Rachel Hunter.
4 . Rod Stewart dated Kelly Emberg.
5 . Rod Stewart was married to Alana Stewart.
6 . Rod Stewart dated Britt Ekland.
7 . Rod Stewart dated Dee Harrington.
8 . Rod Stewart dated Susannah Boffey.

some date only women w/ large breasts, some only date petite brunettes w/ blue eyes, etc. They have a type. Some men date only women who sport the natural look & wear no makeup. Other men prefer long hair, etc.

They have a preference & date only what types they prefer.

Well being it is 2018 & we have "equality" why can't women do the same?
Date men who look like Brad Pitt, or only date younger men w/ a 6 pack abs, or maybe only date higher income men who pay w/o batting an eyelash, bec. they have plenty of discretionary income & this is how they roll?

If I woke up as a markedly younger woman & did the "dutch" thing, I'd date only super hot men- so guys who expect women to date them & pay...are you that hot/up to snuff that all these sex kittens who are a 10 are fighting over you?
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1632
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 6:30:39 PM
Newyorker58:

They should do something to show their good inventions.

The whole point here is that there's something wrong with the idea that a woman doesn't have to show her intentions, and that saying that a man paying on first dates is him showing his intentions is manipulative and dishonest.

MsMicki, whiterose0, browneyesboo ...They just weave bullshit. Don't fall for trying to argue with it too much.


I go out with a man, HE"S PAYING! That's RIGHT! I bet the sound of that is like nails on a chalkboard to the cheapskates


I don't date low class men or cheapskates...I date honorable men

The vid is so cringy, but so revealing...and deserves another posting -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbqH1ThEwCA

How does a person NOT think "little girls" as opposed to grown-ups when watching this?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1633
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 7:27:26 PM

sometimes I think ppl should stay home, masturbate & get takeout or cook for themselves...


I do that!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1634
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 8:46:08 PM

Ssm, I still don't understand why you feel the way you do, and still require dates to not pay for themselves. Why is that? I'm not challenging you, just asking why?

I tried explaining this earlier. I don't keep score of the exact amount of money each person paid. If I paid $30 on the first date and she paid $10, I don' t expect a woman to buy me a $20 item to even the score. At least a woman paying the tip or snack / dessert on a first or second date shows she is willing to contribute. I would prefer that over a woman thinks a man should pay the entire bill for the first handful of dates because of "traditional gender roles".
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1635
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/20/2018 9:17:59 PM
^ And unfortunately the ONLY way to know for sure what kind of woman you got on your hands IS to be very picky and uncompromising over even a $2 coffee. It's not the money. It's not gender equality. It's not financial equality. It's not about being fair. It's ALL about knowing what kind of person she is, her maturity concerning relationships and the genders, and her intentions for being on a first date with you. Only way.

They like to talk about 'low-hanging-fruit'...what's bass-ackwards is that this 'traditional' or 'chivalry' stuff is in fact the way for both to end up with the low hanging fruit. If all I gotta do is put out some money and be charming, and all she's gotta do is nothing and be pretty etc...but for claiming that being pretty takes so much work which you owe her for and makes up for everything...that's easy. That's the real low hanging fruit.

These women just plain don't realize how disgusting they are and how little-girl-like they seem because they feel validated by finding men just barely often enough who are on the same page...those men themselves not able to see outside this bubble either, not realizing that it's about power with those women and bowing down to that manipulation because they fall for the belief that it's proper and gentlemanly. What these women really want is a weak man...convincing him that he's strong. The alpha male, in this sense, has always really been the beta.

Yes, I'll hereby wait to receive my plus-ones. Thank you. And thank you too.

Kicking that ass. I'll be here all week. Just another day at the office. Word.
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 4:42:13 AM

The vid is so cringy, but so revealing...and deserves another posting -

There is a whole lot cringe worthy in this thread but its not what you're thinking


These women just plain don't realize how disgusting they are and how little-girl-like they seem because they feel validated by finding men just barely often enough who are on the same page..


No, whats disgusting is a grown man trying to use shaming tactics to get women to do something the way he wants it done.


those men themselves not able to see outside this bubble either, not realizing that it's about power with those women and bowing down to that manipulation because they fall for the belief that it's proper and gentlemanly


Not good enough for you to try to shame women, now you have to try to shame men for their dating choices. Guess what, dude? You don't get to decide how other people date. Just because they don't date in the way you think they should, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. If there is something wrong its with the person who thinks they are entitled to tell others how they should be dating.

My dating life works for me, if yours works for you, why are you so angry? You will find a few women who will share your views on this matter. I think the real issue is, your whole life YOU have wanted a certain type of woman and YOU can't get her. The small minority of women who will date you is just not your cup of tea! So now you just sit on the forums lashing out at women, calling them names, threatening them, proud as punch for the ass your supposedly going to kick. Dude, your issues go way beyond, WHO PAYS!
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 1637
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 4:49:09 AM

What these women really want is a weak man...convincing him that he's strong. The alpha male, in this sense, has always really been the beta.


If that were so, they'd run in droves to the likes of you. They are looking for better opportunities with men who have a legitimate interest in them.


And unfortunately the ONLY way to know for sure what kind of woman you got on your hands IS to be very picky and uncompromising over even a $2 coffee.


Yes, because a coffee meet is going to reveal everything you need to know about somebody. (Well, sometimes it shows just enough, like If the dude shows up bald when he wasn't bald in his photos, twenty-years older than stated on his profile and he starts off the meet by describing what a kvnt his ex is.)

Dude, your problem with women and dates is you. Nobody else. If you go to a coffee meet expecting a war, it's going to blow up in your face.


It's not the money.


That's part of the problem. You don't have any and you want to blame women for this. Men on disability who have their own place and are relatively in a good place emotionally date happily. They are creative and interesting and have enriching life experiences to share with their dates and don't need a load of $$ to do it.


It's not gender equality.


I agree this isn't your concern. Women should just bear the entire blame for your constant frustration with them, right?


It's not financial equality. It's not about being fair.


Not that you'd know about those topics, either, anyway.


It's ALL about knowing what kind of person she is, her maturity concerning relationships and the genders, and her intentions for being on a first date with you. Only way.


You have a rudimentary understanding of what relationships are and you have chosen a very defensive tactic to avoid them.


They like to talk about 'low-hanging-fruit'...what's bass-ackwards is that this 'traditional' or 'chivalry' stuff is in fact the way for both to end up with the low hanging fruit. If all I gotta do is put out some money and be charming,


If this is what you attract and you keeping getting involved with people who feign interest in your (alleged) charm, then it's your fault. You're too much an emotional trainsmash to tell the difference.


These women just plain don't realize how disgusting they are ....


This is the crux of it. You could have been a little more honest about your opinion and just used this as a sentence because this would accurately describe your feelings instead of hiding in a pile of stupid crap.

The only people who'll +1 what you post are the -atas, -azas, 65-year-old ginger old bags, and troll(s) that fooled a thousand men on the POF world.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1638
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 6:23:42 AM

The only people who'll +1 what you post are the -atas, -azas, 65-year-old ginger old bags, and troll(s) that fooled a thousand men on the POF world.

LMAO

add: occupants of the psych ward & Sing-Sing/penitentiaries worldwide

plus ppl who appear to have been dragged through a nuclear reactor, then photoshop worse than a 4th grader's collage...

(inside joke)
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1639
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 6:53:26 AM

No, whats disgusting is a grown man trying to use shaming tactics to get women to do something the way he wants it done.

You are a liar. This proves it. At the heart of these disagreements is some women doing the equivalent of trying to shame men into doing what they want. It's right there in the vid as well.

Not simply accepting different dating approaches, but trying to tell men how it's "supposed" to be done. We're here discussing the different approaches, and how they're appropriate or not appropriate. Too much boo-hoo-rhetoric instead of rational analysis from many of you don't help.

why are you so angry?

And y'all need to stop pulling this stunt too. This is a discussion. There's no anger here. You need to stop with the boo-hoo victimhood and projecting. You mad bro? I mean...sis?

Dude, your problem with women and dates is you. Nobody else. If you go to a coffee meet expecting a war, it's going to blow up in your face.

Women should just bear the entire blame for your constant frustration with them, right?

What is the point in remarks like this? What are you talking about??

I musta really hit on something to get these nonsense responses.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1640
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 7:00:59 AM
How appealing, a guy with no job that wants to scrutinize a woman over a $2 cup of coffee. And this is why women shouldn't go on coffee dates, because this is the coffee date mentality. Can you even find coffee for $2?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1641
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 7:37:13 AM
Yeah....because one man that doesn't put his profession on his profile...is automatically a no good bum without a job....
and dictates how all men act on coffee meets.

Bet it would be ok to meet a doctor/lawyer for a coffee meet though.....right?
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 1642
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 8:10:15 AM

And this is why women shouldn't go on coffee dates, because this is the coffee date mentality.


Coffee date mentality? If a guy suggests going for a walk at a local park, and getting ice cream afterwards, is that a sin too, because ice cream cones aren't expensive enough? Exactly how much money must a guy spend on a first meet with a stranger? You should put the minimum amount of money a guy must spend on you on a first meet, in you profile, to filter out the guys who won't follow your golden rule on how much money must be spent on you.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1643
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 8:30:24 AM

Posted By: Newyorker58 on 7/21/2018 9:00:59 AM
Subject: Paying for a date
Message: How appealing, a guy with no job that wants to scrutinize a woman over a $2 cup of coffee. And this is why women shouldn't go on coffee dates, because this is the coffee date mentality. Can you even find coffee for $2?



McCafé at McDonalds,lol
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 1644
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 8:34:06 AM

That said though, I will say this: That is what they have Said to you. This, like a handful of subjects, people aren't going to give accurate answers. And people can also take the question out of context. And notably in the younger generation, more appreciate the "PC" take on things, which can skew how one feels On Paper VS In Action.

I suppose it's possible there was some type of misunderstanding and they meant to say "I am okay with splitting the bill" or "I prefer to contribute" on the first few dates. But I have no solid reason to think they were outright lying though. If I had the same conversation with women that I didn't know as well or a man that was trying to impress me, then maybe there is a better chance of someone giving me a "PC answer" that wasn't their true feelings.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 1645
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:23:12 AM

Coffee date mentality? If a guy suggests going for a walk at a local park, and getting ice cream afterwards, is that a sin too, because ice cream cones aren't expensive enough? Exactly how much money must a guy spend on a first meet with a stranger?


My answer would be a 'no, thank you.' My reasons for declining a stranger are none of his business.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 1646
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:35:18 AM

Posted By: From site to sight on 7/21/2018 1015 AM
Subject: Paying for a date
Message:
And this is why women shouldn't go on coffee dates, because this is the coffee date mentality.


Coffee date mentality? If a guy suggests going for a walk at a local park, and getting ice cream afterwards, is that a sin too, because ice cream cones aren't expensive enough?


Ice cream cones cost more than coffee nowadays.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 1647
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:35:41 AM

Coffee date mentality? If a guy suggests going for a walk at a local park, and getting ice cream afterwards, is that a sin too, because ice cream cones aren't expensive enough? Exactly how much money must a guy spend on a first meet with a stranger?


My answer might be a 'no, thank you.' My reasons for declining a stranger are none of his business.


Bet it would be ok to meet a doctor/lawyer for a coffee meet though.....right?


I don't go on coffee meets with anybody. IMHO, they're a waste of my time. I mean, who the hell wants to drink a cup of overpriced sludge in a paper cup and sit with some cheapskate on a bench missing two of its slats with bird shit all over it?

If I prefer the doctor/lawyer who is interesting over the angry one who is always broke and thinks women are disgusting, it's entirely my choice. I don't appreciate some whiny, ugly codger telling me how to select or behave within the parameters of my own dates-- I don't have the dating issues.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1648
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:44:07 AM
I don't like coffee dates either. But it has nothing to do with cost. I rather do other relatively inexpensive activities (mini golf, festival, sports bar if she likes sports etc) on a first date / meeting that I find to be more exciting than going to Starbucks. If a woman didn't want to date me because the place / activity I suggested on a first date / meeting wasn't expensive enough for her, then so be it. We simply weren't a match.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1649
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:51:45 AM
How do you know he is a cheapskate if you won't give him a minute of your time ??

Maybe he is trying to weed out the "my affections must be bought" types and you just proved him right by demanding to have dinner as a first meet...

Maybe he would show you the world after meeting you for a quick coffee introduction...

Maybe....just maybe..... one should admit there is more than 1 way to catch a fish!!
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 1650
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 11:05:57 AM
"I think in the modern times of so called independent women, that a woman should be paying for herself n not expect a man to pay for her, it's not the 1950s anymore n women earn their own money, so they don't need a man to pay for them, but if they do expect a man to pay, then the chances are they are a gold digger looking for a free meal, If a man is silly enough to pay for a woman, then don't let a woman manipulate you into taking her to an expensive restaurant n pick the restaurant yourself, or you will be letting yourself in for a massive bill at the end of the meal"

"Some women are serial fine dinners n daters, so watch out for the gold diggers, who start going on about money all the time n talking about people being tight, because those types of women are the one's who save their pennies n never pay for themselves or treat a man on a date"
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