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Paying for a datePage 67 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)

At the heart of these disagreements is some women doing the equivalent of trying to shame men into doing what they want.

This is where you are confused. Women aren't trying to shame men like yourself into anything. We don't want men like you. There are plenty of men who share our dating style for us to choose from.....


You are a liar

You aren't quite all there


It's right there in the vid as well

I didn't watch the video, probably more of your nonsense. We all know videos are real life. hahahaha!


Not simply accepting different dating approaches, but trying to tell men how it's "supposed" to be done. We're here discussing the different approaches, and how they're appropriate or not appropriate.

Really? cause this is one of the things you posted

These women just plain don't realize how disgusting they are and how little-girl-like they seem

Looks a whole lot like shaming and not a lot of accepting of different dating approaches, to me. If we throw in the meal whores, entitled princesses, illogical, and the other assortment of goodies that have been chucked our way, kind of puts that argument to rest. You can get off the moral high ground anytime you like. No one is buying it!


And y'all need to stop pulling this stunt too. This is a discussion. There's no anger here. You need to stop with the boo-hoo victimhood and projecting. You mad bro? I mean...sis?


You seem fairly angry to me. What with all that ass you plan to kick and this little gem below just confirms to me what I have always thought. Men who biatch and whine about paying for dates usually have far bigger issues than this.


Some absolute ****ing whore ****es. You have gone so far off the rails into god damned bizarre-land that you need to be knuckle-slapped until blood is drawn...until you come back down to earth and screw your head back on straight. You are no longer worthy to have a relationship nor to have children of your own.

Sounds like the rantings of a lunatic to me!
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1652
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 11:37:44 AM
The same way SOME men lament about "gold diggers", SOME women should lament about "flesh diggers" men who want sex & see women as nothing but an object/receptacle for their lust :0(

What should a "well to do" man do when dating?[/b}

Should he NOT GO TO VENUES HE IS ACCUSTOMED to bec. the woman may not be able to afford it?

He doesn't need her $100 contribution, as he is already well to do, but he may want a certain physical type.

Does that mean he shouldn't pursue the women he is attracted to bec. of $$$ ?

Shouldn't he be free to pursue the women he wants???
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1653
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 12:16:20 PM
Site, how are men ever going to get laid if they don't pay😉 Being some men think $150 is the magic number and gateway into the bedroom. Those guys that are creative with fun free dates, they must never get laid. Women just hate fun dates. We'd rather be viewed and interviewed over coffee by a guy that asked us out, yet still isn't quite sure if we're date worthy.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1654
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 12:42:31 PM
So it's ok for it to be free....
but not ok for it to be an ice cream and walk in the park to get to know each other??

Please.....tell us these fun and free things to do that don't involve putting ourselves in a potential bad setting with a man we've never met!!

and remember....can't be a free music in the park either because that has already been thrown out for being too loud to hear each other...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1655
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/21/2018 1:38:16 PM

I suppose it's possible there was some type of misunderstanding and they meant to say "I am okay with splitting the bill" or "I prefer to contribute" on the first few dates.

Which is key, because there is a big difference. It's not more-or-less the same. Thinking that it is more-or-less the same brings confusion in discussions like these. So when inquiring friends (I'm going to do this tonight myself) it's key to be specific ("Not this, but -this-"). However, on topics like this, most of us don't Think about it too much IRL. That brings me to the next thing...

But I have no solid reason to think they were outright lying though.

... Oh, I'm not implying they're outright lying. Hence, my point of "On Paper" vs "In Action". Some of my friends never think about it. But when having the thought experiment it becomes "Yeah, girls should have to contribute," but in action on his next date, he's not going to think about it and he will have no issue paying for everything as his usual. As well as the opposite direction -- "Yeah, I'm OK with splitting it, that makes sense," but in reality, most guys aren't going to put them in position to split it anyway -- but when it Does happen on, say, a 2nd date with a new guy... Oh. Different feeling. In the forums here on this subject over the years, I've seen a same gal give different answers within one thread.

Again, the example of "how many dates would it take for you to sleep with someone?" from OKC question -- from my personal experience over the years (arguably Too much of that), their answers VS their action is Different. It doesn't Mean they were outright lying, although some will answer "6+" dates as to What's Proper and what they "on paper" aim for, but in reality -- no, that really doesn't happen quite that way. Kind of like a personal budget for some. :)

The vid is so cringy, but so revealing...and deserves another posting -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbqH1ThEwCA

If one totally Agrees with those gals -- then one's POV is that a gal is Entitled to have everything Paid For by the guy, by being on a date with a guy. The WTF-attitude if a guy doesn't on everything reveals a sense of entitlement.

If there was a video instead of gals saying "Look, you want better results in dating... you're going to have to suck it up, and pay for it. It's how the dating 'market' is. Yeah, it's not fair in today's day & age, it's kinda sucky when you think about it -- but guys have to compete, and girls are used to getting their dates paid for. Supply and demand." -- then no, that's not a POV of entitlement... and is just saying it how it is.

Being some men think $150 is the magic number and gateway into the bedroom.

Lol. Playing his cards right, he could pay about 2/3rds of that and cut to the chase by getting a massage + a "happy ending". :)

Those guys that are creative with fun free dates, they must never get laid. Women just hate fun dates.

Sarcasm aside, a date of good length is pretty much never going to be 100% free. But classifying grabbing a pop or ice cream cone in the same realm as free -- yeah, there are those. But I think the problem is, a guy can't rely on those Obviously for a majority of dates, nor Rely on it as a 1st date with every gal.

But he can do the coffee house thing, which is pretty much 'free' for a 1st low-key date. I think drinkthesun's POV was testing a gal's POV off-the-bat in those scenarios, even for a $2-4 coffee-type drink. And I can see how one could see it as "setting the tone". But it could also be done the wrong way, and give the wrong impression to even a gal who doesn't feel entitled to be paid for because it's a date of any sort.

I guess a guy could get to the coffee shop early on purpose with his. He could text her "Got here a bit early. Sitting in the back corner." That way she could come in -- and if she's ain't-no-thang about going to the counter first to get a drink, then coming to the table, then it's cool. But then again, some gals don't see those as much a "date" anyway. But I guess it could weed out some of the uptight ones who would find it 'rude' that he didn't offer to go to the counter himself and grab her one, once she came in the door.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1656
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/22/2018 1:53:38 PM
There's plenty of shaming being delivered from both sides of the fence, but the part about these stances on paid/shared dates that people really for get about is making their intentions CLEAR. Obviously this doesn't require some sort of per-nuptial type of drawn out contract, but in a lot of cases people start this dating thing on nothing more than a few vague texts and a profile that is even more vague.

If women are going to have a lot of declarative laws in place before even showing up, it's THEIR responsibility to make them known to the unsuspecting fellow, otherwise it is THEIR risk to leave things be and hope for the best. Guys need to keep their intentions crystal clear as well, and if promises are made, it's their responsibility to honor them. But we can't (and don't need to) honor OR respect someone who shows up with a sliver or information OR intent and just assume we can play the dating game just as good or better than they can. People nowadays are such cowards with their dating life or personal information that it's a huge turn off at the start simply because someone can't relax and have fun with it.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1657
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/22/2018 3:00:31 PM

how are men ever going to get laid if they don't pay😉

If a man is looking for a whore, then he probably isn't. But if that's not what a man is looking for, then this question doesn't apply.
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 5:15:48 AM

If a man is looking for a whore, then he probably isn't. But if that's not what a man is looking for, then this question doesn't apply

men who equate dating with prostitution are usually bitter, angry, nasty sorts anyway. Most women would be wise to stay Faaaaarrrrr away! Unless, of course, bitter angry, and nasty is an attractive trait to you in a man.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1659
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 5:23:06 AM
^ U left out violent/violent temper- saying a woman should be backhanded until her face bleeds is not normal.
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 5:43:29 AM

U left out violent/violent temper- saying a woman should be backhanded until her face bleeds is not normal.

absolutely. for some of these -_holes, this type of behavior is just another day at the office! So glad I learned to set my bar way high, long ago!
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 1661
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 6:13:50 AM

men who equate dating with prostitution are usually bitter, angry, nasty sorts anyway. Most women would be wise to stay Faaaaarrrrr away! Unless, of course, bitter angry, and nasty is an attractive trait to you in a man.

Men are usually pretty entitled, they want it for free lol
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1662
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 8:47:47 AM
Of course the cost of dating can add up, for both parties, but there's a lot of basically free stuff to pepper in there, like festivals, local happenings. I have busy trails that are safe to do, and a unique bonsai garden, outdoor concerts, ferry rides. The guy that wants to do dinner may be doing so to limit interaction, instead of doing something more interactive, because the only interaction they're focused on is sex instead of getting to know you. So, while men are calling women dinner whores, it's actually these men thinking they can use dinner in exchange for sex. That's pretty much what Henry does.
 acrosstheplains
Joined: 8/1/2017
Msg: 1663
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 9:05:19 AM
I've always tried to start relationships at the initial date the way I hope a relationship will be later on. I don't do coffee, or pubs/bars so I won't suggest these as an initial meet. I will suggest a meet in the park if it's a pretty park, or a art gallery or other such interesting places. True, it can sometimes make conversation difficult, but then having a slight hearing defect, almost all bars/pubs and many coffee houses are too noisy as well for me to communicate comfortably. I'm not being unreasonable or trying to dictate terms BECAUSE this how life is and I'm going to choose dates with women who SHARE my views. (well most of the time) If a woman indicates she likes coffee meets then the chances are we're not going to be relationship material. As long as I'm up front about whats the issue?
Its a methodology that has worked for me in the past and will continue to work for me as long as there are women like minded. And yes, I have had several lovely dates with women from POF. Even had a few second dates. And when I've compromised too far just in order to secure that first date, things haven't developed positively anyway.
Start as you mean to go on.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1664
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 9:08:52 AM

The guy that wants to do dinner may be doing so to limit interaction, instead of doing something more interactive, because the only interaction they're focused on is sex instead of getting to know you. So, while men are calling women dinner whores, it's actually these men thinking they can use dinner in exchange for sex


But....but....but....
I thought a man buying dinner proved he had good intentions....
and that was the whole point your lot has been trying to make!!!
Now if a man buys dinner he is doing so in exchange of sex....
Yet if I buy my own dinner, then I am throwing up the signal that I'm desperate and an easy target for men only wanting sex!!

I don't know if you need to get off drugs.....or I need to start using them to keep up!!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1665
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 9:20:20 AM
Not necessarily with buying dinner. I don't enjoy a formal dinner on a first date. It's men that want to push sex along. Ask Henry about that. If they're going to propose dinner, they want to do, then pay for it and don't call women dinner whores.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1666
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 10:32:25 AM

So, while men are calling women dinner whores, it's actually these men thinking they can use dinner in exchange for sex. That's pretty much what Henry does.


Henry has said numerous times in the forums that he'd be willing to buy dinner for an attractive woman in exchange for good conversation and companionship. I don't think he'd turn down sex if a woman offered it, but he doesn't expect it.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 1667
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 10:48:07 AM
Holy fück. The back and forth shit is ridiculous.

You women who feel you're entitled to having a man dazzle you with how he handles the first date can sit here and TALK, TALK, TALK about it until the end of time, but it doesn't mean shit until you actually go out and FIND him.

If you're as awesome as you *think* you are, it should be a piece of cake.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 1668
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 11:02:07 AM

... it's actually these men thinking they can use dinner in exchange for sex.


Does a woman have a say in the matter? Did Trump come up with a new law, saying that any woman who gets a free meal must have sex with the guy who paid? Here's a shocking idea: If you think a guy is buying you dinner in order to have sex with you, refuse to go on a date with him-if you're not interested in having sex with him. That's a mind baffling idea that a lot of people are having trouble comprehending.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 1669
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 11:15:07 AM

some men think $150 is the magic number and gateway into the bedroom.

wow that is no where near enough, more like 250 lol
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1670
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 12:12:39 PM

Men are usually pretty entitled, they want it for free lol


I must be pretty entitled as well.
I like my sex for free too.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1671
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 12:24:25 PM
^^^
LOL! Me too, Boo. Me too.

I did turn down a $2000 (yes, 3 zeros) date offer years ago. The guy creeped me out. He didn’t bother asking my name before flashing a wad of cash in my face. I may not be pretty but I do have standards.

Hmm, I wonder how much that is now due to inflation....
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1672
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 12:27:35 PM

I don't think he'd turn down sex if a woman offered it, but he doesn't expect it.


Are you his penis holster?

If so I give him credit for being willing to venture into octogenarian territory...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1673
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 12:30:48 PM
whiterose, I feel tension on my leg, like you're pulling it? You've got to be kidding about Henry not expecting sex. He may stop expecting sex when his penis falls off. You must want to explore this more, since you know it's the truth, and may have disdain for what he does. He knows he stands a better chance of having sex by creating nice dates for women. Something some of the men here either don't get or they don't want to spend the money.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 1674
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 12:47:56 PM

they don't want to spend the money.

Why should they?

They can always attend a Eucharistic Brunch & get an ole lady to crawl under the table & attempt to turn jello into a steel rod w / her gums

;0P
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1675
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/23/2018 12:50:21 PM
I would much rather have sex with someone who creates an enjoyable environment for a date than some man who hasn’t taken a shower recently and considers grunting conversation.

This is a revelation?
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