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 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 1751
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Paying for a datePage 71 of 73    (33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73)
So you tell people what to do then warn about their behaviour being posted? The behaviour is nothing more than a discussion of their back and forth type junk but still a discussion nonetheless. As for paying for a date if you never let the woman pay, she thinks you’re sexist, if you ask her to pay, she becomes hostile. She may even start name calling like who can tell when you hit a nerve with that one.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1752
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 5:59:38 PM

The women here have said multiple times that they pay so the guy can't expect sex. Or so they think.

I think what you're referring to is more broad-based than that. More of a general thing -- that they won't expect that the gal owes him something... like to be more ready-willing for another date if she's not so much, or give in to pressure to continue the date after dinner to make a whole evening out of it... or of course, heighten his expectations that she's in position to be more willing to also do something like have a nightcap at his place.

Having the general independent-mindset is the motivator to explicitly want to more-or-less split the bill when going out on the 1st date(s). Which I tip my hat to. I once had a gal on 1st day-time lunch date, when the waiter was getting the check, that she likes to split the bill on 1st dates so there's no expectations or anything. I obliged. It didn't mean lack of interest -- we ended up going out several times more (and yes, fooling around too).
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1753
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 7:31:05 PM

Ssm, if you ask a woman out, then want to accept money from her, that's on you.

How is that on me? It's not any different than a woman accepting my offer to bring something when she invites me to her place. I don't think any less of her for that. Using your logic, maybe some men accepted her offer because they don't want a woman to think that he is looking for sex. LOL.


Btw, some women offer because they're showing their disinterest upon meeting someone for the first time,

Never said that can't happen. But a woman offering to contribute isn't a general sign of disinterest.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1754
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 7:57:55 PM
I was always an equal opportunity offerer!!
Didn't matter if I planned on seeing him again...or not...I still wanted to pay for my own meal on a first meet/date...
and offered to pitch in on other dates!!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 1755
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 8:49:23 PM

NewYorker58
I told no lies about Micki, Henry or you. You were pretty nasty telling Henry he's wearing mom jeans.

Now THAT is a lie. Pure and simple, a lie. And you know it. You told that exact same lie before, and I called you on it then. The first time I gave you the benefit of the doubt. This time, I'm calling you a liar.

This all happened quite a ways back. There was a younger man here on these forums, don't recall the name, but in his 30's. He was doing the usual complaining about not getting responses, etc, etc. I told him to quit whining (I admit to being a little harsh), and he accused me of wearing "Mom jeans". Mustang and I had a bit of a laugh about that, a little back and forth about "what exactly are mom jeans anyway?"

I'm tired of liars and I'm tired of lying. Just because we have an habitual, chronic liar in the White House does NOT make it acceptable.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1756
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 9:20:39 PM
First post here. Please be gentle with me.

I'd like to point out a very under appreciated category of women that make dates and paying for dates moot. Women that go after men. They are everywhere and they don't ask much. They have always been around in one form or another. In the olden days, they would have been the ladies that always brought the biggest pie to the church picnic or they would always tag along when your sister came over. Nowadays, they can be doing almost anything to get your attention. Most men overlook them but they shouldn't. These women tend to be loyal to a fault and extremely helpful.

A few caveats though...
They may not be good looking. Looks aren't everything though.
They are often very vulnerable. Be kind and appreciate them for what they are. Don't be hurtful.
Some have strong sex drives. You usually don't want to be talking sex with them but they may corner you. Once, I had one come out of her bedroom wearing a teddy. It took every bit of tact and every lame excuse I had to get out of the situation. It happens with almost all of them eventually... eventually. You usually have time to plan an escape but sometimes...

If you stick to these women then you never have to worry about dinner whores or ever have to argue about who pays what. You don't even have to date them per se, just give them a bit of attention and spend a little time on them. Sometimes, you are going to want to treat them to a night out because they were especially nice to you.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1757
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 10:52:34 PM
Don't get your knickers in a knot, Henry. That's who I recalled saying something to you about your attire. You don't happen to have a link for that conversation?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1758
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 12:10:02 AM

Don't get your knickers in a knot, Henry. That's who I recalled saying something to you about your attire. You don't happen to have a link for that conversation?

I was in that thread, I believe -- and it was some guy going off on Henry, yes. But NY... you said to everyone, with whiterose0 in the thread, that it was Halycon. :)

As in THIS thread, you said this a few months ago (https://forums.plentyoffish.com/16676966datingPostpage2.aspx):

It's funny that my asking Henry a question about his use of words is an issue, yet it was crickets when halcyon picked on Henry for no reason, telling him he wears mom jeans.

I tried to find the thread Henry was referring to, but couldn't find it via Google. I found another one where we were talking about bad/neutral mom-jeans were when Henry's name was googled in there, but that's about it.

Anyway, as I remember, it wasn't Halycon saying that. And she wasn't saying anything like that in that thread.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1759
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 6:47:53 AM
Actually it was alpha_waves who referred to Henry as Dad Jeans.

Here's the thread...

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/16648674datingPostpage3.aspx

Go to post 69 &70.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 1760
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 7:11:33 AM
NewYorker58
Posted: 12/8/2017 9:09:01 PM

Listen to the bank account with a penis, aka, Henry?


What an ugly thread that came from. So many personal attacks.

Started with a long suffering poster of troll threads and devolved on a daily basis.

I can honestly admit that I participated in some of the back and forth and am not pleased with myself.
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 1761
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 7:41:20 AM

How about you all STHU. Fair warning, I don't usually report people but the level of nasty here has gone way thru the roof. I have reported this thread, so post at your own peril, you have been warned.!

Sure. It can start with some people not calling women "desperate" because they ask men out on dates and/or offer to split the bill.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1762
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 9:12:26 AM
I realize I'm one of the desperate dumpster divers without a high bar (or a pole if you will) but what the hell post 1769. Be gentle and then you post that bullshit? ??
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 1763
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 9:43:06 AM
"What an ugly thread that came from. So many personal attacks.
Started with a long suffering poster of troll threads and devolved on a daily basis."

"Spot I have been attacked myself by many trolls on this site n other sites" I call them troll gangs n they plan everything in advance, many are weak minded lefists n massive snow flakes, so virtually anything offends them, but also they are too narrow minded n emotionally weak to deal with the facts I talk about"
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1764
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 12:03:28 PM
*I realize I'm one of the desperate dumpster divers without a high bar (or a pole if you will) but what the hell post 1769. Be gentle and then you post that bullshit? ??

What exactly is your objection? Do you think that I am saying that these girls are all better than you? I'm not saying that at all. Just saying that they have their own merits.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 1765
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 12:37:36 PM
Read what you wrote. I'm one of those women that asks men out and offers to pay. How is what you said even remotely flattering to someone like me?
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1766
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 1:54:41 PM
*Read what you wrote. I'm one of those women that asks men out and offers to pay.
Clearly, you are not who I am talking about. The girls that I am talking about aren't as assertive as all that.

*How is what you said even remotely flattering to someone like me?
Maybe it shouldn't be. You are a different kind of person all together.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 1767
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 2:08:25 PM
Benjamin Franklin said it better in his "A Letter on Marriage" or "Advice to a Young Man on Mistresses".
It seems we haven't progressed much in 250 years.


But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8[thly and Lastly] They are so grateful!!
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 1768
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 2:11:18 PM
How many of the "I don't do coffee dates" women would be willing to meet someone at MacDonalds, Burger King, or a Denny's?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1769
Paying for a laying
Posted: 7/26/2018 2:48:24 PM
Waxman, I think you're referring to the type of person who also shows up in comedies, like "Uncle Buck". The neighborhood woman who hasn't gotten it in a while, and she's taking matters into her own hands?

"nowadays, they can be doing almost anything to get your attention"

is a description that I don't think covers every woman who approaches men....only those who "do anything". but if the shoe fits some Cinderella out there, oh well I guess she found herself a glass slipper. If a woman is "doing anything" to get male company then Waxie is right, we should treat that woman with respect deserved to....

any human beings with a need.

BTW, thanks 2ufo for the Ben Franklin reference. He always seemed like he had fun in life.

Meanwhile, what a ****ing war in here between people. I stayed out in order to not add fuel to the fire but its interesting, out of all the subjects in the world, the one taken most seriously, b/c it is the most personal to some, and defended to the point of insult is....who can screw who out of money.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1770
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Paying for a laying
Posted: 7/26/2018 3:06:43 PM

..............who can screw who out of money.



WTH GTO, I clearly remember this differently. It's, "How to screw in a light bulb!" (Silly man)
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1771
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 4:09:08 PM

Don't get your knickers in a knot, Henry. That's who I recalled saying something to you about your attire. You don't happen to have a link for that conversation?

Seems to be your standard reply every time you get caught making sh!t up!!

Maybe....since you have been given a link and proof that you were completely wrong...
you will verify things before you spout nonsense again...

and this dumpster diving, pie baking woman has never been"desperate" for a man's attention!!
If I bake a pie...or buy a dinner...it's because I want to....plain and simple.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1772
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 5:34:42 PM
From the Original Post (#1 for those who are counting) - My direct answers -

(1) What is the general consensus about paying on dates?
(2) Does it have to do with who made the date?
(3) Is it considered less chivalrous if the woman pays?
(4) Ladies, are you offended when a guy asks to go "Dutch"?
(5) Guys, are you ever embarrassed if a woman pays for the whole date?

Answer #1: I think the summary answer in here is that it's no big deal to pay for a date - the big deal is being made to feel OBLIGATED to do so, for any number of reasons.
Answer #2: IMHO - "He who plans, plays." is a scapegoat for cheap people who don't want to make the effort to plan OR pay - they just want to be entertained.
Answer #3: 'Chivalry' is defined as a system with a religious, moral, and social code based on medieval knighthood featuring courteous and gallant behavior towards women. Being gracious and courteous towards any living soul out there stretches to sooooo many acts and behaviors far beyond payment, that it's almost a joke to consider picking up the tab alone as a single, most important act of chivalry. It's pretty much the same thing as believing refusing sex on the first date makes one morally superior.
Answer #4: This is not mine to answer, but I think personally, if you have to ASK the woman to go dutch, it's because they had NO plans to do so and are more than likely 'offended' to be put into that uncomfortable situation. Women that offer or intend to pay their fair share generally don't have to be asked - the gesture is made without prompting.
Answer #5: Having a time in my past when I was in financial difficulty, I was never happy nor comfortable with the idea of anyone paying for me - friends, dates, relatives, etc... but I accepted it, because making a stink about it never, ever improved the situation. I did what I could do to lessen my financial impact, and the guilt that usually comes with it, but there's always a little negative vibe in my mind associated with not paying my way. What is monumentally stupid IMHO is lashing out or blaming those with more for their own generosity - and yet, I see others do that kind of crap ALL the time. People that get THAT childishly belligerent better be stupid drunk, because there really is no other excuse for it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1773
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 5:34:45 PM

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

Maybe back then, but not today, in reference to Old Women vs the others. It's a bias we have, I believe, that we carry every decade-notch as we grow older. That those notably younger aren't as wise, too immature, etc. When in fact, if they're at or around 30, it's pretty much tapered off to their every-day wiseness. But we'd not like to think that, as it makes growing older have less of a "positive point" than we'd like.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.

There is that good point. But the gal can have herself set for no kids without being near 50, nor kids to be juggling which is just as much an inconvenience. She could have her 1, 2, or even 3 kids out of the way, with her tubes tied, and be in her mid-30s.

the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior

Don't agree with ya there, Benny-F. Dudes' lower parts get more limp, and gal's lower parts are more inclined to need more lube.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

True. But one who is not an "old Woman" isn't defined as a non-virgin, even back then. Of course, back then a specific "Young Woman" probably started around 13, thus assumed probably to be a virgin. But one without hazard of having kids is solidly over 40. So there's a Vast in-between. Not a fan of Ben's arguments. :)
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1774
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 6:28:23 PM
SomewhereInTheStratosfere:

How about you all STHU. Fair warning, I don't usually report people but the level of nasty here has gone way thru the roof. I have reported this thread, so post at your own peril, you have been warned.!

Kiss my ass. Kiss all of our asses.

Report that. That's a tweet. Tweet that shit.
 kj521_
Joined: 7/18/2018
Msg: 1775
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/26/2018 7:15:47 PM
Why is everyone so obssessed with paying?
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