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 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1776
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How many of the "I don't do coffee dates" women would be willing to meet someone at MacDonalds, Burger King, or a Denny's?

I actually had a first date / meeting at a fast food place that serves hamburgers, hot dogs etc. The food wasn't bad. I would prefer that over Starbucks.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 1777
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 12:11:42 AM
In early January I dated this guy briefly and then he said he didn't wanna date me but then changed his mind and was desperately trying to meet up again and 'talk' and 'sort it out' after the 360 he did on me. Anyway I said we could go to the movies because he was trying to con me into sleeping over his and I was like nope. Then he comes up with this crap that he doesn't want to be 'used' for a movie ticket, I'm like ??? I'll pay for myself. Then he wanted to 'just talk on the bench' near mine. Anyway told him to fk off. What a fool lol.
I don't tolerate being mistreated or manipulated to doing stuff I don't want.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 1778
screwing lightbulbs, watt a great idea
Posted: 7/27/2018 5:49:09 AM
"why is everyone so obsessed with paying?"

>>>the subject people take so personally, is the subject they attach to their personal identity. that's the one they argue so passionately, b/c it cuts so close to home for them. so they defend it to the death...or insult, as it were.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1779
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screwing lightbulbs, watt a great idea
Posted: 7/27/2018 6:07:49 AM
*the subject people take so personally, is the subject they attach to their personal identity. that's the one they argue so passionately, b/c it cuts so close to home for them. so they defend it to the death...or insult, as it were.

Something tells me that even the most pugnacious "I won't pay" people will just go with the flow IRL.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1780
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 10:32:19 AM

Why is everyone so obssessed with paying?

Because if a guy doesn't pay a gal's way, and by default for everything on All* dates prior to being an item, a High % of gals get Upset IRL. Quietly, mildly, or more. Otherwise, this wouldn't be a hot topic.

That said, even if this wasn't a hot topic, like other topics, it'd still be a topic that'd crop up once in a good while, but more short-lived threads.

In early January I dated this guy briefly and then he said he didn't wanna date me but then changed his mind and was desperately trying to meet up again and 'talk' and 'sort it out' after the 360 he did on me. Anyway I said we could go to the movies because he was trying to con me into sleeping over his and I was like nope. Then he comes up with this crap that he doesn't want to be 'used' for a movie ticket, I'm like ??? I'll pay for myself. Then he wanted to 'just talk on the bench' near mine. Anyway told him to fk off. What a fool lol.

Well, that wouldn't serve as an example of a guy balking at paying for a gal -- as demonstrated when you were Fine with him not paying your way into a movie, he was still wack. It's just an example of a crazy guy. :)

*All dates excluding select ones where the gal explicitly asks to Take the guy out.
 kj521_
Joined: 7/18/2018
Msg: 1781
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 12:13:02 PM
"Because if a guy doesn't pay a gal's way, and by default for everything on All* dates prior to being an item, a High % of gals get Upset IRL. Quietly, mildly, or more. Otherwise, this wouldn't be a hot topic."


Well...with all this fussing about "Who's paying"....I am inclined to offer up my gift certificate to Flemming's to anyone here in the forums who actually gets a real date. Solve the problem for them. :)

Yeah...

Sorry. That inclination passed! I'm selfish! I gotta buy my own date with that!

And for the amount of this certificate...he's gonna be a 10 and I got expectations. ;) ;)
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 1782
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 12:55:40 PM

Well...with all this fussing about "Who's paying"....I am inclined to offer up my gift certificate to Flemming's to anyone here in the forums who actually gets a real date. Solve the problem for them. :)

That would open up another can of worms about whether it's appropriate or not to use gift certificates or coupons on a first date / meeting. LOL. Just type in "coupons" or "gift certificate" on a forum search and there will be old threads about this topic.
 ForumLurker
Joined: 9/14/2015
Msg: 1783
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 4:16:51 PM
KJ, I wish you made that offer when we were talking on St Patricks’ Day. I had a breakfast date the next morning with a lovely lady I met at a St Patricks’ party.
 kj521_
Joined: 7/18/2018
Msg: 1784
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 4:33:38 PM
^^^Oh no, Sir! No...no...no! That would just never do, Mr. Forumlurker!

I am The jealous type, ya know. ;) ;)


But....I am, also, a gracious loser. I hope that breakfast date turned into something more! :)



vvvv That is unfortunate. :/

But hey!?! I still got my gift certificate. ;) ;)
 ForumLurker
Joined: 9/14/2015
Msg: 1785
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 4:40:09 PM
Heartburn
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 1786
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White Rose has a Brown Prune in her nether regions
Posted: 7/27/2018 8:00:22 PM

She's obviously extremely unhappy.


Ma'am, Miss White Rose, may I make a suggestion?

Ask the staff at the nursing home you reside at to give you some PRUNE JUICE.

You need it to dislodge that giant stick that's stuck up your arse.

No wonder you're "obviously extremely unhappy"
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 1787
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 8:26:39 PM

every time you get caught making sh!t up!!





kiss my ass. Kiss all of our asses.

Report that. That's a tweet. Tweet that shit.



Y'all are my kind of people!
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 1788
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 8:30:17 PM

Manmadepoop, men have always had prostitutes

Yup, and Miss White Rose is jealous of men who have hookers.












In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 1789
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 9:18:16 PM
Whenever Ive met a Lady here or elsewhere.... If I asked them out I'd be happy to pay. If things got to that point then my interest must have been piqued enough to ask prior said lady for a date.

Initially, I'd say on a first meet whatever made the lady comfortable is what I would recommend. As far as place to meet, who pays, or split cost? If you have a good banter it probably won't be an issue. Enjoy meeting someone new too.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1790
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/30/2018 7:30:46 PM

"why is everyone so obsessed with paying?"

The reason that this becomes an involved and lengthy topic is because we are not talking about something as benign as it seems. This is not simply about who pays for first dates as if that's all there is to it. This is one of those things which is indicative of whole philosophies and psychologies that are very potentially mutually exclusive...incompatible. It's a clash of cultures with dimensions going much further than who's paying. The two mindsets are VERY different. Violently different. Different in ways which have big consequences and implications. The degree and importance of the difference is like that between fascism and democracy...if one needs an example.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1791
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/30/2018 8:46:09 PM
I was rushed with that ^. This is a better example, as it is within the realm of dating and relationships:

There is as much difference, and as important of a difference, between the who-pays mindsets as there is between long-term monogamy, polyamory, polygamy, casual NSW FWB sex, etc...between someone who believes in true love and someone who just wants to get off and doesn't give a shit about sharing life or being emotional. You get two people together who're different in these ways and expect them to make some kind of compromise, and then wonder why they'll argue until the cows come home...then you're just not realizing what's really going on. It's like trying to jam two different species together, as incompatible reproductively as dinosaurs and mushrooms are, and being befuddled as to why there isn't any getting-along. These are two wholly different cultures. Different quite a ways down the line on many points. It is definitely not trivial or inconsequential.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1792
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/31/2018 2:57:23 PM
I'd like to argue the point of being reproductively incompatible - although several women would probably take one look and agree - ;)

Our cultures are not 'wholly' different - but they are becoming that way. Social media and the internet is replacing live human interaction on all kinds of levels. If it wasn't for public schooling, I'm afraid kids would not have any clue there WAS another gender beside what they see and read in stories.

Being independent is the side effect of having more independent rights and control over one's destiny. What people fail to realize is that it also creates isolation, which means our mindset for how we view the world is dictated more by Media and texting than it is by real human interaction. We see the mingling of the genders more like a recreational drug than a neccesity for survival.

Yes, living in male-dominated society a hundred years ago had some serious drawbacks, but the limits in communication and views of liberty and independence back then - meant we defined ourselves more by human interaction - by a status within a group. Not so much today. Should we revert to the old pecking order? hell, No - of course not. But people need to realize the direction from where we have come to realize where we are going. Turning into the blobs in floating chairs from the movie "Wall-E" isn't too far off the mark.

If you really want a real-life interaction, then you have to ATTEMPT one. And Another. And Another. And Another. Until you get it Right - which usually means, until you realize that whatever social rules you put up to protect yourself need to come down.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1793
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/31/2018 11:02:43 PM

Being independent is the side effect of having more independent rights and control over one's destiny. What people fail to realize is that it also creates isolation, which means our mindset for how we view the world is dictated more by Media and texting than it is by real human interaction.

I disagree. Being more independent doesn't = more isolation. I say that because isolation's a strong word. Because I'm not meshing lives with a gal, doesn't make me living a more isolated life than a guy who does. In fact, it can even be on the contrary if I'm just-dating a gal + having a fruitful social life -- while a friend who is meshing lives with a serious GF he lives with is "meh" and never gets out of the house. :)

I agree that too many people relying more on social media & digital communication than IRL interaction does Allow for more independence, and yeah, it's a more isolated way of going about things. But my point is one doesn't Necessarily lead to the other, or vice versa.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1794
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Paying for a date
Posted: 12/30/2018 5:08:24 PM
Some will be thinking "Oh know... this thread is alive again!!!". I've been dating someone I met on POF for about 2 months. Our first date was at a restaurant. I paid. We then went down the street to see a band. She bought drinks. She offered to pay the next time we went out. I told her I'd take care of it. She could pay next time. And she did. It's just been a casual think. We usually alternate who pays. Sometimes we split things. A few days ago we went to race fast go-carts. She paid for that (about $75). Later that night I paid for dinner. It's all good!
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1795
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Paying for a date
Posted: 12/31/2018 6:10:53 AM

Some will be thinking "Oh know... this thread is alive again!!!"



Haha, Endless, you funny man. "Who pays", ranks right up there with religion and politics.

The original question, way back when, was, "Who pays for the FIRST date?"

NOT date #3 or 10 or 16, and not after sex. Pay attention here, ok?
 ginghamgal
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 1796
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Paying for a date
Posted: 12/31/2018 8:18:36 AM
I know this is an old and controversial thread. But I usually offer to pay my share on a first date. Some men will accept and others will politely decline. Pretty much only time I would be disappointed is when the most of the bill are from things that he ordered and he wants to split the bill 50-50. When the situation is reversed, I would offer to pay the whole bill.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 1797
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getting screwed on the first date
Posted: 12/31/2018 11:00:57 AM
alas, most things involving colored paper with numbers and symbols on them, tend to rile. we love to say, "money is the root of all evil", but i believe the saying really goes, the WANT of money is the root.

notice its a root, not the entire weed :)
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 1798
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getting screwed on the first date
Posted: 12/31/2018 12:09:11 PM
msg:1797:
tend to rile. we love to say, "money is the root of all evil", but i believe the saying really goes, the WANT of money is the root.


Not to put too fine a point on it, but I always thought the saying was, "The love of money is the root of all Evil."
 Clear_River
Joined: 1/6/2018
Msg: 1799
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getting screwed on the first date
Posted: 12/31/2018 12:31:04 PM
I simply take it in turns if we're going out for drinks the guy normally pays first and I will get the second round.

I refuse to go to dinner for a first date, it's not worth the risk if you don't get on. It's two hours you'll never get back.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1800
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getting screwed on the first date
Posted: 12/31/2018 1:01:43 PM

I refuse to go to dinner for a first date


Where have you been all of my life?


it's not worth the risk if you don't get (it) on.


I couldn't resist...


It's two hours you'll never get back.


Damn straight...
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