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 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 1801
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Manmadepoop, men have always had prostitutes

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 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 1802
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/27/2018 9:18:16 PM
Whenever Ive met a Lady here or elsewhere.... If I asked them out I'd be happy to pay. If things got to that point then my interest must have been piqued enough to ask prior said lady for a date.

Initially, I'd say on a first meet whatever made the lady comfortable is what I would recommend. As far as place to meet, who pays, or split cost? If you have a good banter it probably won't be an issue. Enjoy meeting someone new too.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1803
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/30/2018 7:30:46 PM

"why is everyone so obsessed with paying?"

The reason that this becomes an involved and lengthy topic is because we are not talking about something as benign as it seems. This is not simply about who pays for first dates as if that's all there is to it. This is one of those things which is indicative of whole philosophies and psychologies that are very potentially mutually exclusive...incompatible. It's a clash of cultures with dimensions going much further than who's paying. The two mindsets are VERY different. Violently different. Different in ways which have big consequences and implications. The degree and importance of the difference is like that between fascism and democracy...if one needs an example.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 1804
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/30/2018 8:46:09 PM
I was rushed with that ^. This is a better example, as it is within the realm of dating and relationships:

There is as much difference, and as important of a difference, between the who-pays mindsets as there is between long-term monogamy, polyamory, polygamy, casual NSW FWB sex, etc...between someone who believes in true love and someone who just wants to get off and doesn't give a shit about sharing life or being emotional. You get two people together who're different in these ways and expect them to make some kind of compromise, and then wonder why they'll argue until the cows come home...then you're just not realizing what's really going on. It's like trying to jam two different species together, as incompatible reproductively as dinosaurs and mushrooms are, and being befuddled as to why there isn't any getting-along. These are two wholly different cultures. Different quite a ways down the line on many points. It is definitely not trivial or inconsequential.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 1805
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/31/2018 2:57:23 PM
I'd like to argue the point of being reproductively incompatible - although several women would probably take one look and agree - ;)

Our cultures are not 'wholly' different - but they are becoming that way. Social media and the internet is replacing live human interaction on all kinds of levels. If it wasn't for public schooling, I'm afraid kids would not have any clue there WAS another gender beside what they see and read in stories.

Being independent is the side effect of having more independent rights and control over one's destiny. What people fail to realize is that it also creates isolation, which means our mindset for how we view the world is dictated more by Media and texting than it is by real human interaction. We see the mingling of the genders more like a recreational drug than a neccesity for survival.

Yes, living in male-dominated society a hundred years ago had some serious drawbacks, but the limits in communication and views of liberty and independence back then - meant we defined ourselves more by human interaction - by a status within a group. Not so much today. Should we revert to the old pecking order? hell, No - of course not. But people need to realize the direction from where we have come to realize where we are going. Turning into the blobs in floating chairs from the movie "Wall-E" isn't too far off the mark.

If you really want a real-life interaction, then you have to ATTEMPT one. And Another. And Another. And Another. Until you get it Right - which usually means, until you realize that whatever social rules you put up to protect yourself need to come down.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1806
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Paying for a date
Posted: 7/31/2018 11:02:43 PM

Being independent is the side effect of having more independent rights and control over one's destiny. What people fail to realize is that it also creates isolation, which means our mindset for how we view the world is dictated more by Media and texting than it is by real human interaction.

I disagree. Being more independent doesn't = more isolation. I say that because isolation's a strong word. Because I'm not meshing lives with a gal, doesn't make me living a more isolated life than a guy who does. In fact, it can even be on the contrary if I'm just-dating a gal + having a fruitful social life -- while a friend who is meshing lives with a serious GF he lives with is "meh" and never gets out of the house. :)

I agree that too many people relying more on social media & digital communication than IRL interaction does Allow for more independence, and yeah, it's a more isolated way of going about things. But my point is one doesn't Necessarily lead to the other, or vice versa.
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