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 AUTHOR
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 176
Paying for a datePage 8 of 74    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
^^^^^ Not everybody has the two in ten rule.



Honestly, I think she deduced I was married to low income women and thus I must have paid alimony?


Wow, that’s a stretch. Especially considering you just said she told you she did a background check on you, and questioned you about one of your ex’s ethnicity. Maybe it had something to do with that. Or something else she perceived you may have lied about. Or that you are obsessed with money. BUT….leap to the conclusion that she “deduced” you had married low income women and now pay them alimony. What. The. Fvck. I can’t even wrap my head around the enormity of that assumption. She deduced from their ethnicity what their income level would be….??

It’s clear that you have a very low opinion of women. You’re obsessed with money and fear losing it to women. It’s that obvious on an anonymous forum, I can only imagine how easy to read you are in real life.


She posted pictures of you two making out?????


Kinda makes ya wonder how boring it must have been for her that she took the time to take pics of it. :/
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 177
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:07:12 PM
I have no idea if I some how magically exceeded a 2 in 10, but it was not by using by keen intellect :)

I've faced the music a bit and I'll face it a bit more...but just a bit.

She took selfies of us and had another couple take pics as well.

I didn't see any harm in it. Like I said. I was flattered?

I have no idea why she was clarifying my ex's ethnicity, again, and when I asked her why, she did not like being asked.

She NEVER said she ran a background check on ME. She did say she ran it on other dates. I am only speculating as to why she may have been upset at my response. I did not want to cause a scene with her.

Furthermore, if the woman is meeting men that drink 5 bottles of champagne every night, and laments about the money spent on those bottles, I have to wonder what her motive was for watching him drink alone (yeah, right) those night(s) and questioning the money spent on those bottles? Oh, that's right, she's there drinking with him.

Hmm...I'm gonna have me some venison later too...lmao
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 178
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:23:03 PM
Paying for a "date" can be worked out equitably between previous acquaintances. Strangers meeting IRL for the first time is NOT a "date" it is a FIRST MEET, in correct OLD parlace.


^^^^
We don't know ALL the algorithm variables included in that 2 in 10 limitation rule, (daily?) but research shows this:



"Those who take the effort to compose informative responses/contributions to thread topics, ...won't even know it's there - it is content specific.
However, persistant chatters, and those who make repeated one and two line running commentaries/troll posts/wise-ass remarks in threads will now have difficulties in derailing thread topics."


Thanks in advance to those who DO keep threads on topic, civil, with decorum ( the World can see what you post here, even your mother if she lives, bless her heart ), and who do NOT attempt to derail thread topics or subject lines.

S



VVV Actually, by analysis of rhetoric composition, many people who regularly post long blogs/threads online anywhere ARE identifiable if enough time and resources are allotted. You didn't know that? The false expectation of complete anonymity has tripped up many.

 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 179
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:42:03 PM

Thanks in advance to those who DO keep threads on topic, civil, with decorum ( the World can see what you post here, even your mother if she lives, bless her heart ), and who do NOT attempt to derail thread topics or subject lines.


No one in the WORLD knows who some of these people really are. It's not like SunshineGirl__ walks around with a post it note on her forehead or Like2dance has their POF user name tattooed on his arm.

So what's the difference what you post if no one, not even one's mother, can identify you?

DB
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 180
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/22/2015 7:58:51 PM

Thanks in advance to those who DO keep threads on topic, civil, with decorum ( the World can see what you post here, even your mother if she lives, bless her heart ), and who do NOT attempt to derail thread topics or subject lines.

S

VVV Actually, by analysis of rhetoric composition, many people who regularly post long blogs/threads online anywhere ARE identifiable if enough time and resources are allotted. You didn't know that? The false expectation of complete anonymity has tripped up many.



No doubt in my mind, if the CIA wanted to know who I am, they could find out in short order.

But my Mom? Really?
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 181
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/22/2015 8:53:10 PM
When planning that "FIRST MEET" not a "date", it seems best for both to just plan something casual, very inexpensive and short. That way there is less preset expectation or disappointment after.




"No doubt in my mind, if the CIA wanted to know who I am, they could find out in short order.
But my Mom? Really?"


Isn't she on Facebook? Don't they have a seniors section by now? Tells them how to surf online and Google anything.
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 182
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/23/2015 4:13:39 AM

TALL IQ2 says...

Thanks in advance to those who DO keep threads on topic, civil, with decorum ( the World can see what you post here, even your mother if she lives, bless her heart ), and who do NOT attempt to derail thread topics or subject lines.


There's really no need to add an "on topic" sentence to the top of your post just so you can comment on another. I mean, are you the 3rd grade crossing guard or something? We're all adults here, and this is a messageboard.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 183
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/23/2015 6:26:30 PM
^^^^^ Yeah, really….even if I do wear a post-it note on my forehead. ;)

If my mom ever reads my POF forum posts, after stalking me around the internet to specifically identify me and them, AND she disapproves of my posts…..then SHE can ground me, I guess. My mom’s not posting here, I know that.
 fitnessjunkie365
Joined: 1/17/2015
Msg: 184
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/24/2015 1:20:20 AM
When it comes to online first meets, I have a five bucks or less mentality. Since homeless people make more than this pan handling, money is never an issue. Ice cream/frozen yogurt, a coffee, or meeting at a venue where you can walk around and chat taking in the atmosphere. The biggest mistake you can make is throwing money away and going all out on a woman you've never even seen, let alone spent time with. But.. if you start dating her then the guy should plan/pay for most dates. A woman should plan/pay every once and awhile just to keep things from being one sided though.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 185
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/24/2015 3:16:40 AM
^^

If a woman is taking the time out of her busy date to spend time with you, it's your responsibility to ensure that she is taken care of, whilst in your company: you ensure that she is warm (or cool); you ensure she is properly fed; you ensure that she is safe with you; you ensure that you keep physical boundaries as so she isn't made to feel uncomfortable with you. This isn't hard to do, if you're serious about somebody. (An initial coffee date might be suitable if you haven't spoken to them long enough or of the woman feels uncomfortable going on a first, complete date without knowing you a little more beforehand; whatever you both decide that is readable.) If you're too damned selfish to provide this on an initial, first date date, then there isn't any point, unless you're just in the prowl for a swift rooting.

(My boyfriend refuses any financial contribution from me to his dinner dates? I do insist I cook for him, at other times -- that is my contribution. Personally, I think he gets a better deal out of it.)
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 186
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 11:10:15 AM
These forums are making me think that I am too old and too old-fashioned for dating. Things don't think I can get used to:

1) after the first couple of meetings (Trying to eliminate the ax murderer), driving a distance to meet for a date. We didn't even accept tooting the car horn to come out. You had to go to the door. What happened to going places together?
2) The whole discussion about men expecting women to pay or go dutch as a sign of :liberation."
4) When did date and sex become synonyms?
5) Wanting a man but not really liking them as a current state of society. (in GENERAL, word mincers)

But the forums are interesting.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 187
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 12:19:04 PM
deetristate......this is a brave new world when it comes to dating.....very, very scary, not like it was "back in the day." The things that men ask women to do on a date........
Sometimes the best and safest "date" I have had recently was relaxing in my nice, comfortable pajamas with a nice glass of wine, and a good book.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 188
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 12:37:31 PM
One imagines the one thing both genders wish to see is a "first meet" date who is also genuinely eager to be there to interact in an upbeat, fun, and enjoyable way. If those components are present, other details can be sorted later.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 189
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 12:39:09 PM

If a woman is taking the time out of her busy date to spend time with you, it's your responsibility to

Wait, freeze-frame. What about a guy taking time out of His busy day to spend time with her? Goes both ways. I see what you're saying in the context of a guy chasing a gal and convincing her to go out with him -- OK. But that's only a fraction of the dating scene.

it's your responsibility to ensure that she is taken care of, whilst in your company

Like a cat or a child! :)

you ensure that she is warm (or cool)

... make sure you clothe her properly, yes...

you ensure she is properly fed

Yes... a bib and a diaper will be properly applied, yes...

you ensure that she is safe with you

Yes... leave the machete in the glove compartment... she probably won't be a fan...

My boyfriend refuses any financial contribution from me to his dinner dates?

It's a sense of control. Kind of liking taking care of a pet or child as you described above. It's engrained into most of us because of the "fake offers", too, so out of habit, yah, ya just say no-i-got-it.

I do insist I cook for him, at other times -- that is my contribution. Personally, I think he gets a better deal out of it.

If he truly did get a better deal out of it, then switch habits/procedures for a while. Pay every time you two go out, and have he put himself in position to get acquainted with cooking, and doing so once in a while.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 190
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 12:41:11 PM
Watching the St. John's Duke game. See. This could be a date. Pop some corn, have a few beers. I'll make some brownies. You bring some wings. Easy. Cheap fun.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 191
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 12:53:24 PM

Watching the St. John's Duke game. See. This could be a date. Pop some corn, have a few beers. I'll make some brownies. You bring some wings. Easy. Cheap fun.


What kind of brownies?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 192
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 1:04:07 PM

Watching the St. John's Duke game. See. This could be a date.

Yeah, but St John's is for pimps & bus drivers.

What kind of brownies?

The kind that college kids like! Ones with "some green" in them and make you happy! ;)
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 193
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 1:24:15 PM
Msg.# 1:


What is the general consensus about paying on dates ? Does it have to do with who made the date? Is it considered less chivalrous if the woman pays?
Ladies, are you offended when a guy asks you to go "Dutch" ? Guys, are you ever embarrassed if a woman pays for the whole date ?


I took up lessons of Etiquette, on dating when I was a teenager, in the Philippines if a man invited you he takes care for the tab, then the a girl invited him for dinner in her house with her family cooking his favorite dish ,giving him a gift of cakes to take home ect.ect.. When I become a widow and dates I offered to share, those men I dated, they tells me, that in this COUNTRY IF YOU ARE INVITED IT IS RUDE TO OFFER TO PAY! Those men never heard of POF forums. I never experienced a date tells me to go dutch, but I go dutch with myFe/ male friends. No I will not be offended if a man initiates the dates, and ask me to pay my own, I'll be happy to pay + tips for my own meal. I met a guy from POF, first date he used a coupon and I feel so embarrassed because I know the cashier. Casino jobs is you know almost every one. So I always pay by handing him the money descreetly, I don't think he is embarrass ,he even takes leftovers. what I learned is a poor man can not share his life with you for he have nothing to share , he disregard social ethics, what he have in mind is to survive ... 3 meals for a man is a cheap lessons ,no I am not a stupid fool, I am just kind to him to respect him as a human being even he is half a man..
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 194
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 1:40:55 PM

Posted by Eternityboresme:
"If a woman is taking the time out of her busy date to spend time with you, it's your responsibility..."

You lost me with that phrase, Eternityboresme.
One would think that both people on a date would put their best foot forward to ensure both have a good time.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 195
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 4:19:13 PM

Strangers meeting IRL for the first time is NOT a "date" it is a FIRST MEET, in correct OLD parlace.


I think it depends on the intent. If the purpose is determining any possible romantic interest, then it can be considered as a ( blind ) date. Regardless of the time, cost, activity etc. From what I have seen, it's mostly on the forums where some people will insist it's only a "meet". Having said that, I don't think it really matters what you call it. The first date / meeting / whatever you want to call it you should be a low key, relatively inexpensive activity.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 196
view profile
History
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/25/2015 6:23:30 PM
south_ city we are on the same page. But this day and age dating is sexual, I was confirming my dinner date to a transvestite neighbor He/she told me not to say dates , that is fukking, OMG in front of friends! okay appointment then.
whenever someone ask me if I have a boyfriend my answer is always I have no boyfriend but I am dating,
A young girl told me that she understand what I mean ,going dinners,dancing movies, picnic ect. that is the OLD time Dating means sex ,imagine, I was so open to people that I am big time slut, LMAO .. Now I change my lingo I say MEET &" this guy I am talking with.
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 197
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/9/2015 4:32:16 PM

Guys, are you ever embarrassed if a woman pays for the whole date?


Yes, it's totally emasculating when a woman inisists on paying and my noodle stays soft for days afterwards.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 198
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/9/2015 6:29:19 PM
Your noodle brings all the girls to the yard.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 199
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/9/2015 10:14:17 PM
Gee, where's Kewl?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 200
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/9/2015 10:50:31 PM


Strangers meeting IRL for the first time is NOT a "date" it is a FIRST MEET
I think it depends on the intent.

I pretty much agree. It could be either or, but by default in relatively standard situations, err on the side of First Meet. If you're talking hours each day, ga-ga about each other via text/phone/email, and you meet at a nice restaurant -- Date. If you're bantering some and the offer to grab a drink or something comes up -- First Meet. A lot of it depends on how it flows leading up to it, but for any gray-zone, one should err on the side of First Meet.

The first date / meeting / whatever you want to call it you should be a low key, relatively inexpensive activity.

Yeah -- it's not platonic. I think it's always technically a date... but it's best classified as a Date when it's drummed up with tons of anticipation & communication build-up leading up to it. Why the difference? I guess expectations & such. A First Meet won't have the "formalities" that would come with a Date when engaging with a traditionalist, as it's more of a laid-back approach, atmosphere, etc.

Much like a gal at work being asked by a guy out of the blue if she'd like to grab a drink after work, and it'd just be them two, when they both know they like each other and are single. A non-platonic meetup.

Yes, it's totally emasculating when a woman inisists on paying and my noodle stays soft for days afterwards.

Haha. I'm assuming you're joking. I always thought guys who would feel emasculated by such a thing, within the first few dates, are the real pvssy-cats. Talk about no self esteem. It's the 90s, women work and can hold their own quite well....
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