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 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 201
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You lost me with that phrase, Eternityboresme.
One would think that both people on a date would put their best foot forward to ensure both have a good time.

I agree.
It's good to see that many still thinks if he pays he must be a gentleman, or a real man.
*sarcasm*
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 202
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 5:24:37 AM

Msg 205: Talk about no self esteem. It's the 90s, women work and can hold their own quite well....


Was the song "Time Warp" from the Rocky Horror Picture Show playing in the background when you wrote this?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 203
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 5:30:35 AM
^^^ and he was happy getting those smoking deals on Beanie babies.
90s were good, bring them back ( well except for the Macarena.)
You know what I dislike - when someone invites me, and then when the chit comes I politely ask " what do I owe?"
And instead of saying Nothing they give me my total.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 204
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 6:21:43 AM

Eternityboresme: If a woman is taking the time out of her busy date to spend time with you, it's your responsibility to ensure that she is taken care of, whilst in your company: you ensure that she is warm (or cool); you ensure she is properly fed; you ensure that she is safe with you; you ensure that you keep physical boundaries as so she isn't made to feel uncomfortable with you. This isn't hard to do, if you're serious about somebody.


I agree.

And I always made sure she got enough sun, outdoor exercise and had balanced meals.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 205
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 6:22:20 AM

You know what I dislike - when someone invites me, and then when the chit comes I politely ask " what do I owe?"
And instead of saying Nothing they give me my total.


Ouija, if you dislike it, why would you offer in the first place? Isn't that baiting him? If you're going to offer, then you should do it because you honestly want to do it---otherwise, you're being disingenuous.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 206
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 7:13:34 AM
nono, not HIM - with friends
IDK, I guess I should just sit there silently
But it is my nature
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 207
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 7:27:04 AM
^^^I'm with Ouija. I always offer. And I think Ouija was kinda joking there. I doubt she has many take her up on that offer. I don't.
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 208
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 7:36:17 AM
"Paying for a date" thread here...


Does it have to do with who made the date? Is it considered less chivalrous if the woman pays?
Ladies, are you offended when a guy asks to go "Dutch"?


OP, why can't you tell us what YOUR experience has been with that? OP? Bueller?
Seems he may already have...

S
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 209
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 7:51:37 AM
OP has left the building...
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 210
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/10/2015 8:56:31 AM

Yes, it's totally emasculating when a woman inisists on paying and my noodle stays soft for days afterwards.


Haha. I'm assuming you're joking. It's the 90s, women work and can hold their own quite well....


Yes , I was kidding but I think you lost track of time playing with your time machine ?

It's not the 90's , it's 2015 , lol
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 211
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 9:19:23 AM
I would like a chivalrous man so I would like for him to insist that he pays for the date, before we are even on the date.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 212
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 10:26:00 AM

It's not the 90's , it's 2015 , lol

Oh sh!t, my time machine busted. Well, these forums -- does it look like a website built past the 90s? Give me some credit at least ;) I always say "It's the 90s!" when people are out of touch and still living in the past... reference to a later episode of Family Ties said by Alex Keaton who's a bit misogynistic, about how times are changing. So even if one's stuck in the past, they still need to Let Go of certain notions... :)

You know what I dislike - when someone invites me, and then when the chit comes I politely ask " what do I owe?"
And instead of saying Nothing they give me my total.

That implies your "polite" asking is a disingenuous question, which one would assume society has move past those playing games (it's now past the 90s for crying out loud! lol)... now he if gave you THE total of the bill, yeah, that'd be something to be WTF about.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 213
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 10:45:02 AM
norwegianguy123:

Oh sh!t, my time machine busted. Well, these forums -- does it look like a website built past the 90s?

You're such a charmer.

At least you're not harassing Aradia, a nice young lady technically young enough to be your daughter.
norwegian ... again:

You know what I dislike - when someone invites me, and then when the chit comes I politely ask " what do I owe?"
And instead of saying Nothing they give me my total.

Look, this had to be a joke coming from Ouija. Get it now?

Joke, right, Ouija?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 214
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Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 11:43:37 AM



Enernityboresme: f a woman is taking the time out of her busy date to spend time with you, it's your responsibility to ensure that she is taken care of, whilst in your company: you ensure that she is warm (or cool); you ensure she is properly fed; you ensure that she is safe with you; you ensure that you keep physical boundaries as so she isn't made to feel uncomfortable with you. This isn't hard to do, if you're serious about somebody.

dragonbytes
I agree.

And I always made sure she got enough sun, outdoor exercise and had balanced meals.


+1
Have you signed the adoption papers yet, just to make everything is legal and above board?



Halcyon_Skies
Ouija, if you dislike it, why would you offer in the first place? Isn't that baiting him? If you're going to offer, then you should do it because you honestly want to do it---otherwise, you're being disingenuous.

Someone check the temperature down in Hell, I find myself agreeing with Halcyon. (smile)

Aradia96
I would like a chivalrous man so I would like for him to insist that he pays for the date, before we are even on the date.

Hmmm… See the comment above, by dragonbytes. Chivalry is not about who pays. Here’s a good definition of chivalry:

“the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.”


“Readiness to help the weak” would cover helping little old ladies across the street, it would not apply to buying you dinner.

“Courtesy” would be holding the door, not just for you, but for anyone coming along. Once again, it has nothing to do with money.

Don’t get me wrong, I pay for dates. But nothing irritates me more than a woman who thinks she is “owed” free dinners and entertainment, just because she is a woman.


 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 215
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 11:52:59 AM

Hmmm… See the comment above, by dragonbytes. Chivalry is not about who pays. Here’s a good definition of chivalry:

“the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.”

“Readiness to help the weak” would cover helping little old ladies across the street, it would not apply to buying you dinner.

“Courtesy” would be holding the door, not just for you, but for anyone coming along. Once again, it has nothing to do with money.

Don’t get me wrong, I pay for dates. But nothing irritates me more than a woman who thinks she is “owed” free dinners and entertainment, just because she is a woman.


*stands* Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 216
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 12:13:05 PM

" You know what I dislike - when someone invites me, and then when the chit comes I politely ask " what do I owe?"
And instead of saying Nothing they give me my total."

Look, this had to be a joke coming from Ouija. Get it now?

Joke, right, Ouija?

Umm, why not point this to Halyc, too? I don't see anything in that statement implying joke. Unless it's a form of very dry sarcasm due to many posts I'm unaware of where she wants to always split the bill... but even then it wouldn't really draw any laughs, if that's the case.

Many gals are going to Not Like the situation she worded out, and will scoff at such a notion of a guy doing that. In plenty of threads, posts worded in that context, from gals upset about a guy "failing to read a lady's 'question' as just being polite", and thus splitting the bill with her when he originally Invited her / Asked her out. Plenty of argument about not playing the fake-question game vs not. It's the 90s! Many have picked up on the notion that some women want to split at least some of the bill, so a fake-question plays games. As a guy, you just have to deal with said games with a smile and say "No, I got it," -- unless she Emphasizes afterwards "No, honestly, I really want to pay [at least the tip or something]." Unless of course you didn't really Ask her out + the date went poorly and you can pretty much assume she's financially self-sufficient.
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 217
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 12:19:11 PM
["Does the "whoever asks pays" rule apply here?
If both women agreed on meeting, does it mean both expect the other one to pay?
Off topic: Now I'm wondering if lesbians care so much about other women's height or status when it comes to dating."]

Thanks for the laugh...

My guess is that it's the tallest one... That seems to be a general rule most everywhere, I've heard...

S
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 218
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 2:27:37 PM
^^^^^^ It will be interesting to see if Bruce Jenner pays for dates once he becomes a woman. He's 6' 2". If he still likes women, he will become a lesbian.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 219
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 2:47:50 PM

^^^^^^ It will be interesting to see if Bruce Jenner pays for dates once he becomes a woman. He's 6' 2". If he still likes women, he will become a lesbian.


I choked on my coffee. Now this is funny!!!!!
 BetterEachDay
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 220
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 3:03:27 PM
I am amazed that this is even a discussion. This is like opening doors for the lady, men do it. Ladies appreciate it. It is not about who can do it. Women are perfectly able to open a door herself, why let the men do it then? Sometimes I think American women think too much. From where I am coming from, if I insist on paying for a date, I just insulted the man I am with. It's like saying I don't think of him as a date. Very disrespectful.

If money is an issue, men can do coffee/tea/water/walk. That is perfectly fine. But men pay for date.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 221
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 3:25:48 PM

From my experience, the one that did the asking pays, simple really.

Not so fast... it Can be simple, really. But not necessarily. Many times nobody Asks. Sometimes friends ask their buddies if they'd like to go out to X/Y/Z, just as Timmy will many times ASK Sally if she'd like to go out on a Date, but that's not always the case. Many times there's no asking either way, and it doesn't change the rules much unless she's Explicitly Asking the guy to go out (and even then it's not so much "Yeah lady, you got the Whole bill!").

This is like opening doors for the lady, men do it. Ladies appreciate it. It is not about who can do it.

I disagree... with someone from your POV, which isn't terribly uncommon, it's that she Expects it being the better description. If one's turned off on any level if z isn't executed, it's that they Expect it. Sure, it doesn't mean there can't be any real Appreciation involved -- notably when it's a really Nice place. But let's call a spade a spade here... it's an Expectation for a normal date, not some Exception which would be truly appreciated regardless of the circumstances.

Sometimes I think American women think too much.

I think the same can be said for many men too, including myself (until it comes to discussions). I think it's best said that the concept is taken for granted, because we're taught Not to think about it.

From where I am coming from, if I insist on paying for a date, I just insulted the man I am with

So if you Explicitly Asked the guy out on a Date, that could be insulting, as some at least claim that it means the gal is to pay the whole thing?

It's like saying I don't think of him as a date.

If you paid for the whole thing? Actually, quite the contrary, by default. I think if you insisted on Splitting the bill, that would, by default, be a sign you weren't interested. Which would not be an insult if you weren't. A guy would be kind of an idiot if he wanted to Insist on paying a whole dinner bill for a gal who's lost interest in him, and Less of a man and more like a baby if he couldn't let a gal at least contribute when she did have some interest in him. Remember, it's the 90s! ;) People can split bills or "you got this one, I got the next one". If that Concept bothers someone, THAT is where I say "you're thinking too much". When wanting to split though, or contribute, she should make it clear she has Interest if she does, as she doesn't want to give the guy the wrong idea.
 momsaysirock
Joined: 2/4/2015
Msg: 222
Paying for a date
Posted: 2/10/2015 4:19:41 PM

From where I am coming from, if I insist on paying for a date, I just insulted the man I am with.


oh.OK..did you also "disrespect" men by getting a master's degree and working in real estate? those are not very 'ladylike' things to do..

see if you want to live in the 1950's you would have to accept ALL of the mindset..wouldn't you?

not just cherry pick the things that are advantageous to you? & ignore the rest of the "gender stereotypes" ?
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 223
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/10/2015 6:07:06 PM

Ladies, are you offended when a guy asks to go "Dutch"?

Has any woman had a man ask to go "Dutch"?
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 224
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/10/2015 6:13:11 PM

Has any woman had a man ask to go "Dutch"?


Personally, I know I could never ask that...I may as well rip my penis off and ask her to keep it in her purse till I need it
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 225
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History
Paying for a cup-o-noodles
Posted: 2/10/2015 6:20:15 PM
Yes.


Has any woman had a man ask to go "Dutch"?
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