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 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 414
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the Timeline...Page 18 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Well, I never did understand why 2 people who want to be together thought about the length of time before being together. Worry about what could happen in the future? Whatever is going to happen will happen whether you live together or not. Being worried about jumping into the pool just means you waste a lot of time before getting wet anyway.

Congrats to Clooney. Nothing is as good as being off the market!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 415
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Posted: 9/1/2016 6:41:46 AM
As for timelines, my own experience is you know its going to happen after a single kiss. Everything else is just a lost opportunity to wake up warm and happy in the morning.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 416
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/5/2016 3:05:53 AM
I'm glad the focus has moved off me and on to Clooney :)

One of the reasons we wanted to spend a bunch of time together when we first met was because I had a trip planned and would be gone for a few weeks. I just got back.

It does make a huge difference when you're in your 30's compared to being in your 60's. Like Clooney said, I am not getting any younger. I don't see any reason to take my time and take things slowly. I expect things to slow down to almost a halt when the weather changes. I am not going to drive on that dangerous curvy road (where a rock slide came down and one lane slid into the river) unless conditions are perfect weather wise. Yesterday a propane tanker drove off the road. I am sure the driver was killed. The one lane that is left of the highway was closed for most of the day.

Everything else is just a lost opportunity to wake up warm and happy in the morning.


I really like that sentence. I don't know how many wake ups I have left. My husband was killed in an accident and was here one minute and gone the next.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 417
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Posted: 9/5/2016 11:28:57 AM

We both agreed on one thing however, we sure as fvck ain' t getting any younger!

That's a very good argument against taking-it-slow... like playing the friends-first game, and/or only considering being an item once it's past a 3 month minimum, etc. Of course, regardless of age when you're an adult, purposely slow-playing things so much is never a good idea anyway.

That said, hurrying things up is not a good idea either, and regardless of age -- it's not going to have an effect. If I decide to move in with a girl after 1 month @ 60 years old, I'm not accomplishing anything in relation to my age timeline, only risking wasting my time (crash & burn; flaming high & out). Things can still happen more-swift-than-normal when fitting, but Too Quickly isn't a good idea. Rushing things Too Much can end up making you waste time, if anything.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 418
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/5/2016 4:50:53 PM
I kind of think people are on their best behavior in the beginning. They don't want to do anything to upset the apple cart.
It's a lot harder to be on your best behavior for longer periods of time.

And by the way, we aren't living together. We really aren't on any set schedule, although we both agree that we don't want to make the drive there and back on the same day. I really don't see what the big deal is anyway. I had a thread where I went on 3 dates with someone and in no way felt ready to make it into a sexual relationship. I felt like I didn't know him at all after 3 dates. Each date was only 2-3 hours and he basically felt like a complete stranger.

When I travel 65 miles to see someone, I want to find out as much as I can about that person. Maybe I still don't want to sleep with him, but I want to find out as soon as possible if there are little quirks I might find completely annoying.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 419
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/5/2016 4:55:09 PM
See, I'm the opposite.

I prefer to sleep with someone first before learning their quirks.

Good loving can make everything forgivable.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 420
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Posted: 9/6/2016 12:34:25 PM

clooneystutor
See, I'm the opposite.

I prefer to sleep with someone first before learning their quirks.

Good loving can make everything forgivable.


Uh… No, not everything. A lot of things, yeah, I’ll give you that. But not EVERYTHING.

Well… unless… if it were REALLY good, maybe …

(Don’t you just love a decisive man?)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 421
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/6/2016 3:31:47 PM
Now, just a sec here............^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ No, we aint "dyin'". Sorry Clooney, I'm not "dyin'' for info. Curious? Oh hell ya!

Sooooo now .............is a "Timeline" invisibly penciled in, considered to be one of those unwritten dating rules?
I gotta keep the rules straight you know so...................
I can intentionally break'em! LOL
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 422
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/6/2016 6:25:10 PM
Well....escrow is quite the cologne guys.

We're in a Mexican standoff til I close.

I'm grateful she won't mind the ankle bracelets coming up soon, but hey, at least she knows where I am, and that I'm...sober....

Hahahahahhaha
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 423
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/6/2016 7:21:14 PM
goof god, are you the only person on the planet ever bought a freaking house
it best be a manor the way you milking it
You are the only person ( besides me) who cares so much for money
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 424
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/6/2016 7:32:28 PM
She is moving in with you after dating for 6 weeks? And I'm the bold one for letting him stay a couple of days.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 425
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Posted: 9/6/2016 9:17:54 PM

And by the way, we aren't living together. We really aren't on any set schedule, although we both agree that we don't want to make the drive there and back on the same day. I really don't see what the big deal is anyway.

I think the 'big' deal is the location & time differential, which is an obstacle of course -- patched up by spending nights on the better part of the week at each others' places right off the bat. True, you're greatly lessening one issue, but bringing an issue of another flavor to the forefront which isn't always noticed -- jumping into meshing lives. I know it's not moving in together, but it's the classic gf/bf thing where when they break up, there's a box of their stuff, because a lot of things are over at the other's place.

But in the end, the situation may not be that bad if both people are above-average comfortable with sweeping into things quickly and less tolerant than others of the whole distance thing.

She is moving in with you after dating for 6 weeks? And I'm the bold one for letting him stay a couple of days.

I don't think so, since he said he's giving her a garage key (key to the place), and she's donating him appliances... while she'll Know where he is, due to an ankle bracelet. Obviously she wouldn't need access to any contraption to know where he is if she's moved in with him. But I dunno -- maybe she's planning on it soon, who knows! I just don't know what's up with the ankle bracelet, though...
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 426
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/6/2016 9:27:31 PM
^ Right?? It's a freakin anklet. Some men have a fear of sounding feminine. Something to do with their fathers blah blah blah.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 427
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/20/2016 9:24:04 PM
I thought Norwegian guy would be interested to know that my 2 month relationship has already ended. The guy ended up having severe emotional problems.

I think the topic of this thread was not living together, not getting married and keeping our separate homes. Now do you see why this is necessary? He was able to hide his problems for awhile while he was on his best behavior trying to make a go of another relationship. I'm glad it didn't take very long this time for me to see the writing on the wall before I wasted a bunch more time.

yuck ! Back to the fish pond and trying to remain hopeful that there really are more fish in the sea.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 428
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/20/2016 10:09:55 PM


I thought Norwegian guy would be interested to know that my 2 month relationship has already ended. The guy ended up having severe emotional problems.

I think the topic of this thread was not living together, not getting married and keeping our separate homes. Now do you see why this is necessary?


I suspect that most people don't start living together after just 2 months in a relationship, the same goes about getting married.

What your story proves is that it is necessary to date for a while before moving in together.
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 429
the Timeline...
Posted: 9/21/2016 12:50:49 AM
I don't know where people are getting the idea that we were living together. We were nowhere close to living together. Yes, we did spend the night at each others' house, but that is not living together. We didn't even do that until we spent a bunch of time together going back to our own homes the first couple of weeks, after the date.

After having quite a few dates where one or the other of us had to drive home late at night on a dangerous road after the date, we started to worry about the person who was making the drive home. We were doing this the first couple of weeks after we met before he spent the night.

There were plenty of days where we didn't see each other at all. This is what I call dating.
 txwidow1939
Joined: 8/27/2016
Msg: 430
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Posted: 10/6/2016 10:04:22 PM
re my late (deceased husband); first date 12/7, he had moved totally in with me within six weeks, married within six months, together 29 years. He was 30, I was 40.
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