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 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 351
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Men in this age group and moneyPage 15 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Personally, I rather enjoy going out to dinner with a woman, and would only do it if I can afford it. Even if the "chemistry" is not there, it still an interesting experience to meet someone new and spend long enough with them on a one on one basis to fully appreciate their impact. I have never considered it a waste of anything, always have a good meal, and have the feeling that I am not owed anything. It actually leave me in control of the situation, as I decide if anything further is going to happen, and even if I decide against, I have no issue as the woman has had at the very least a good meal in the company of someone who is articulate, polite and doesn't smell bad. Its my gift to her in exchange for the pleasure of her company in what would otherwise be a silent and solitary experience.

People need to get out of their own minds.
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 352
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 6:19:32 AM
Demidar, I'm not sure where that hypothesis comes from, sounds personal. I wasn't assuming anything that in depth.
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 353
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 6:34:34 AM
Dee, it's not an attitude it's just something I have observed. I earn above median, but not double, so I fall somewhere in the middle. And I don't necessarily thinks it's always a gold digging mindset. Most often its more of a mindset of "if I'm going to be with someone I might as well be with the guy that can provide me with nicer things........more expensive restaurants, vacations, has a nicer car and home etc. It's short sighted. In the same respect, many of those men set their sights on younger women and are more apt to have a wandering eye and be unfaithful. The same goes for them as "they say" they want to find a good woman who isn't concerned about money, but given the choice between a good woman with a mature body and a couple of wrinkles, they choose the young hot blonde with large breasts.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 354
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 7:49:52 AM

Demidar, I'm not sure where that hypothesis comes from, sounds personal

Lol...You think? He's still b1tching about his divorce 20 years ago....woman hater!

In the same respect, many of those men set their sights on younger women and are more apt to have a wandering eye and be unfaithful. The same goes for them as "they say" they want to find a good woman who isn't concerned about money, but given the choice between a good woman with a mature body and a couple of wrinkles, they choose the young hot blonde with large breasts.

Sooooooo....You're saying men are their own worse enemy....that they will deliberately choose the young "gold diggers" over an older woman? Shrugs...quit complaining then...imo.
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 355
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:07:49 AM
I'm not complaining about a single thing. I'm just discussing the issue. Both the women that choose money over substance and the men that choose younger women over substance are both their own worst enemy. And, that is from what I have observed anyway, more prevalent in this age group.

In regards to the first comment. I was replying to the dark haired woman and mistakenly thought her handle was demidar.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 356
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:23:41 AM

The title of this thread should really be, "women in this age group and money". Many women past 40 will say that after either being married to a jerk or dating so many jerks, " I really just want a nice guy that cares for me and shows me respect". Unfortunately, that is mostly B.S. Given the choice between a guy that is genuine, caring and respectful that earns the median income vs. a guy that is so-so but earns double that most women in this age group are going to choose the guy with the higher salary.


The title of this thread should really be, "men in this age group and women's "hotness"". Many men past 40 will say that after either being married to a ___ or dating so many ___, " I really just want a hot girl/woman that is a 10 and shows me her goods on the 1st date". Unfortunately, that is mostly B.S. Given the choice between a woman that is genuine, caring and respectful that is interested in a sincere relationship vs. a woman that has so-so character but looks hot & puts out right away, that most men in this age group are going to choose the girl who is hotter.

It goes both ways
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 357
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Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:37:48 AM
I don't get the point of this discussion. Is it not true that everyone will go for the partner that appeals most to them? Is it not normal that this is the case? Is it not the case that a man or woman who responds sexually to a possible mate indicating more than a passing enthusiasm for the other person? What is the point of the exchange? People should go for partners that don't appeal to them and who don't respond sexually because, deep down inside, those possible mates are really beautiful people who shine beyond their looks and social skills?

It isn't going to happen. For $1000 you will always choose the car without any rust that starts on the first crank. If it wasn't like that, clunkers with a dead battery, broken window and rusted out fenders and doors would be selling for $1500.
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 358
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:43:38 AM

The title of this thread should really be, "men in this age group and women's "hotness"". Many men past 40 will say that after either being married to a ___ or dating so many ___, " I really just want a hot girl/woman that is a 10 and shows me her goods on the 1st date". Unfortunately, that is mostly B.S. Given the choice between a woman that is genuine, caring and respectful that is interested in a sincere relationship vs. a woman that has so-so character but looks hot & puts out right away, that most men in this age group are going to choose the girl who is hotter.

It goes both ways


Which is basically what I said previously
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 359
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:49:07 AM

I don't get the point of this discussion. Is it not true that everyone will go for the partner that appeals most to them? Is it not normal that this is the case? Is it not the case that a man or woman who responds sexually to a possible mate indicating more than a passing enthusiasm for the other person? What is the point of the exchange? People should go for partners that don't appeal to them and who don't respond sexually because, deep down inside, those possible mates are really beautiful people who shine beyond their looks and social skills?


No, that wasn't the point, as for my discussion anyway. My point is given equal chemistry or appeal, women in this age group would choose the man with a higher net worth even if he was of so-so character and men in this age group would choose the younger, fit woman. I think they are equally short sighted and no one needs agree, it's just an opinion based on observations of mine.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 360
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:50:28 AM

'm not complaining about a single thing. I'm just discussing the issue. Both the women that choose money over substance and the men that choose younger women over substance are both their own worst enemy.


Yeah, substance is only appreciated by those who appreciate substance. Otherwise you have those who appreciate change - and the enchantment of new vs old.

I mean when you get down to it - there are people looking for people, and there are people looking to sample people. And I would bet dollars to donuts that age is more of a factor than gender, and experience the biggest factor of all - but experience isn't dependent on age... or rather place in life and pursuit of happiness.

Edit: Yeah I don't know its done that twice where my post is all jacked up.
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 361
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 9:04:42 AM
I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 362
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 9:13:12 AM
Perhaps I'm an anomaly but " sampling " women was something I was prone to do in my youth when I had all the time in the world , wasn't in a hurry to settle down.

Now, I do want substance and I don't understand why PEOPLE in my same age range wouldn't have also matured/evolved to that same mindset by now.

....unless they've chosen to be bitter, jaded, cynical instead ?
 jkdp65
Joined: 4/15/2014
Msg: 363
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 9:24:56 AM

Perhaps I'm an anomaly but " sampling " women was something I was prone to do in my youth when I had all the time in the world , wasn't in a hurry to settle down.

Now, I do want substance and I don't understand why PEOPLE in my same age range wouldn't have also matured/evolved to that same mindset by now.

....unless they've chosen to be bitter, jaded, cynical instead ?




Agreed. And I am basing most of what I spoke of on single male and female friends of mine. We live in a world where instant gratification is everywhere, so that may be part of it. IDK.
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 364
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 9:39:59 AM

We live in a world where instant gratification is everywhere, so that may be part of it. IDK.


Absolutely.

So many people looking outside when they should be looking within.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 365
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 9:45:08 AM
Yeah, let's all go for just substance and take physical attraction totally out of the equation; hideously ugly substance. These are all of these "great" women everyone tells me that I should chase; yeah, that will make for a fantastic, sexless, loveless relationship - the golden ticket!

I think I will invest in brown paper bags.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 366
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 9:51:36 AM
I don't know why people do the things they do - I think that there is some natural inclination to seek for purpose. There are those who don't know what they want. Then there are those who've done it all, I've noticed that fear oh he isn;t a supporter - nixon needs to die... either confident in intent, or more confused then ever. And that is just separating the notion of long distance relationship vs keeping options open.

As for me, it took a 15 mile hike - one that started late at night, lasting roughly 8 hours of travel on foot, and sometimes at rest to gain introspection with visual aid. I traveled on foot, through a middle school - through a high school - through two locations of work - places of significant memory - through to my old residence's - to my current residence. And I asked myself at every point -- "why it is that I do the things I do" in context to:

Quality of life -- (as it pertained in current state - in relation to previous state )
Development, emotional state, and well-being - as I could remember. -- (visual aids)

And what I learned is that my method of advance has been either to place myself in circumstances I am unable to alter - thereby forcing myself through difficulty - despite the obvious benefit of change.
Or if I am unable - or more often unwilling - to change in the moment... then I will set myself up to fail in due time.

I learned that I have lost my sense of enchantment with the world. At least, I was able to recall a series of events that brought me to appreciate the world - and all the wolrd
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 367
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 10:01:27 AM

let's all go for just substance and take physical attraction totally out of the equation


I don't care how " hot " a woman is , if she doesn't have the right personality she's a waste of my time.

Of course, I want to be with someone I find physically attractive but she doesn't have to be PERFECT .

In fact, the ones with a few " flaws " are more likely to accept mine and not be so preoccupied with perfection in general.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 368
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 10:07:47 AM

I don't care how " hot " a woman is , if she doesn't have the right personality she's a waste of my time.


I totally agree, but the converse is also true.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 369
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Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 12:01:18 PM
The most surprising thing to me about dating again at this age, is how many men reveal their financial status to me. They freely tell me, without me hinting or digging or asking, how much they have in the bank, or in their retirement account, or how much their Social Security check is. I've met about 3 dozen men in 2 years and I think 80% of them have told me personal financial details.
I suspect despite all the grumbling here on POF that most men know this is an aspect of life they have to be up front about. This includes the ones who are broke, and the guy with the most money.

First guy I dated after divorce; told me he had $7000 in savings.

Second guy; told me his yearly earnings, told me amount of commission he makes on each sale, told me amount he had to pay to his ex in the divorce. I still see him on here all the time. Surprised a golddigger hasn't snatched him up yet.

Least money; guy renting a room from ex gf, no car, on SSI and Medicaid.

Most money; I mentioned this phenomena to him, he replied "I told you what's in my retirement account ($500K), I didn't tell you what I have in investments" Well, ok, so I don't know his total worth, I do know he's far from broke.

So all the complaining on POF about women wanting an ATM/man isn't what I see IRL. What I see is men quite willing to disclose their financial status so as to say to women, "this is what I've got going on" so the woman can decide if it's ok with her.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 370
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 12:21:57 PM
Strawberry


Surprised a golddigger hasn't snatched him up yet

It's not as common as men want to believe...the "golddiggers" are in Hollywood...not so much IRL.
If a man owns "anything" and if a woman refuses them for anything else....they are called "golddiggers".
I find the same with men our age.....very quick to tell you what they have.

I got a message from a man yesterday..with the sunglasses/hat/distance shot claiming to be my age.
So....I read his profile and asked him if he had a better picture of himself.
He replied...that I was being judgmental because of looks......and I should be careful who I discard because he owned some property east of here....so there!
Obviously, he was lying about his age and thought in telling me he owned property...I was gonna swoon...smh.
Not!!!!!.....Looking for honesty first. Yep....to 70 year olds...I am a catch...lol.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 371
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 12:29:27 PM
Obviously, he was lying about his age and thought in telling me he owned property...I was gonna swoon...smh.
Not!!!!!.....Looking for honesty first. Yep...to 70 year olds...I am a catch.

^^^
But wait! He could croak and you could own it all!!!!



I kid! I kid! ;P



edit; Oh shyt, I didn't quote.
You're going to ground me, aren't you Fire?
*hangs head in shame
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 372
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 12:46:54 PM
Hey Charm....heads up.
How many times do I have to tell you young lady....lol.

I think a mans worth to most mature women isn't their money...... some men just haven't figured it out yet!
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 373
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 12:50:21 PM

I think a mans worth to most mature women isn't their money...... some men just haven't figured it out yet!


Some men have - like the ones who invented Viagra !

; )
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 374
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 12:50:45 PM

Le Pew who went to bed with her laptop


How long does your battery last Le pew?

I have an A/C adapter that'll keep it running longer.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 375
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Men in this age group and money
Posted: 3/26/2015 3:45:01 PM

Dee, it's not an attitude it's just something I have observed. I earn above median, but not double, so I fall somewhere in the middle. And I don't necessarily thinks it's always a gold digging mindset. Most often its more of a mindset of "if I'm going to be with someone I might as well be with the guy that can provide me with nicer things........more expensive restaurants, vacations, has a nicer car and home etc. It's short sighted. In the same respect, many of those men set their sights on younger women and are more apt to have a wandering eye and be unfaithful. The same goes for them as "they say" they want to find a good woman who isn't concerned about money, but given the choice between a good woman with a mature body and a couple of wrinkles, they choose the young hot blonde with large breasts.


I'm really not going to argue about the fact that there are SOME women who may choose a man with money, over one with less/none, all other things being equal.
I ALSO know plenty of men who are with and stay with women that treat them atrociously, and the fact that the women are 'hot' I'm sure has MORE than a little to do with it....lol
I've heard this time and again here on the forums, rarely if ever IRL, funnily enough, but there it is....

There are also people in the world that truly believe that the type of car they drive or having the 'latest' techno gadgets are a determining factor in their self-worth.....
Can't relate to them either.

I just haven't personally run across any women who are choosing to be with a man based solely on what they have, as opposed to who they are. Or are even 'lukewarm' about the guy and his money is what 'tipped the scales'.
If I did, I would be really baffled as to how you can be with someone based on something so ...ephemeral, and in the end, inconsequential...I would think that his values and beliefs are just a tad more relevant when contemplating an intimate relationship....

That's NOT how I or anyone that I personally know behaves, mostly because the women around me tend to have VERY good jobs, own property, have traveled the world, and really, there's NOT much, except private jet trips to Paris on a whim, that any man could give them to entice them into a relationship, if their feelings for him are not solid and he's not what they are looking for in a partner, and even THAT wouldn't work, I'm sure....

I don't believe that this is the MAJORITY of either men or women, any more than I believe that the majority of people are so vapid and shallow that they believe their self-worth lies in what they own.
I'm sorry for you and many other guys on here that I see that seem to think that they are so expendable and interchangeable with virtually ANY other man, simply due to an experience with some woman/women who thinks that what you have really is the determining factor in whether or not they want to be with you.

Everybody is unique....we are not interchangeable just because we have the right equipment...or at least, that's the way that I see it.....
I, too, have been used for what I had to 'give' as opposed to being loved for who I am, but I still believe that somewhere out in the wasteland of superficiality that our world sometimes appears to be, that there are men who DON'T think/feel that way, and here's hoping that I meet one before I DIE...LOL

Happy thoughts......lol
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