Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Men in this age group and money      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 26
Men in this age group and moneyPage 2 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Like some said, what age group?

But people who are living in retirement have a different attitude about money. And they have vastly different resources. It's the whole fixed income thing and it's never going to be more that gets them.

Some are living at the poverty level and get Government assistance to make ends meet. Some get a retirement income of $100,000 a year.

My uncle was one getting $100,000 a year in retirement income from pensions and SS. One aunt had over 4 million in assets. This uncle got married after his wife died, then his next wife died of cancer, he just didn't want to go though it again. But my cousin was living in a trailer home on Gov assistance.

They all got even cheaper as they got older. My aunt used to use jelly glasses as water glasses.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 27
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 5:55:40 AM
Plethora of reasons why Men ( and Women) who are older are broke.
50 isn't middle aged btw
Broke doesn't concern me as much as cheap does. Cheese paring penny pinching squeeze a nickel so hard the beaver screams cheap.
I do not require things lavished upon me ( altho it is nice) But I wouldn't tolerate cheap.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 28
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 5:58:42 AM

The plethora of men in their 50's who are seriously broke.
Unable to support themselves or barely.
I suppose there are many women in this situation as well but I am not dating them.
And I don't know any destitute women.


I am one that generally believes older / retired women tend to be in better shape financially than men.

The reason is, I think women feel more vulnerable than do men, so on average women want to make sure they are taken care of as they get older. While men when younger tend to think they are invulnerable and can always fight their way out of a problem.

And this is the reason why in a divorce, a woman will most often prepare well ahead of time and she is the one filing.

And old fashioned men tended to think of themselves as the breadwinners, and their need to take care of their family. Not to think about taking care of themselves first.

Naturally there are all sorts of exceptions.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 29
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 6:01:17 AM
^^^ "Broke doesn't concern me as much as cheap does. Cheese paring penny pinching squeeze a nickel so hard the beaver screams cheap."

Cheap is a more minor concern, but I am more concerned about women that want to keep up appearances at all costs. Meaning they always want to upgrade from expensive to even more expensive regardless of the need.
 Following_Up
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 30
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 7:13:00 AM
I live in the DC area and I've met a lot of women and men (some who I dated, some who I am friends with) that have gone through periods of unemployment (which at times led to underemployment) in the past 6-7 years. Two big reasons around here -- the housing market crashed and Gov't funding/contractors went through big time cuts.

I consider myself very fortunate as neither myself nor my ex-husband were similarly affected. Though that doesn't mean I'm rolling in it, I do realize I have a better safety net and a bit more play in my month to month financial state than some men I've dated. Note - fortunate, not 'better'...

If I have more than the person I'm seeing (and that does take awhile to determine - of course, these are not conversations to have on early dates which is why I think it makes sense to just split costs on early dates and do stuff that relatively inexpensive), I don't mind footing more of the bill more of the time. There is so much more I look for in a man than 'ability to pay'.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 7:51:47 AM
We Americans have had it so easy since the 1950s. Sure, people lose their jobs but responsible people prepare for such eventual happenings in life. I never bought anything in my life on credit except my houses which I looked upon as an investment. This is after putting myself through college and raising 2 daughters largely on my own. It was important to save up a years salary BEFORE taking non-camping vacations, getting a new color TV and buying a new car.

People who are sound financially are not fortunate but have usually earned it. People who are in good health have usually earned it. I now dabble at my profession out of choice. I also expect a man to have had the foresight to have been the master of his own circumstances. He didn't allow himself to be a cog in a machine whose fate is determined by some decision in some head office.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 32
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 8:04:32 AM
Message:
Do you think that men in this age group who are single, part of the reason is that they don't have much money?


Hey now...I'm not cheap but frugal.....^^^^
Money is very important, but I try not to use that means, in not for more in wants, but more in needs first.

As for those who did not including myself , at one time ,many many years ago... did well financial ... but we did not live within our needs first.... & a very good lesson was learn in more then in just it's financial & emotional loss....
And I'm sure many have be through the same scenario & hopefully most have learned from that too.

And as for those who date... or involved with someone.... the same imo holds true in a healthier relationship.

Being close too & are the Same ground as yourself as she is with you. A very good start once you get by her fem fatale.^^^

As for the OP & some of the replies here....... not sure if she & her friends are just slamming those that are still down on their lucky or is it that most of these men that approach her & her friends are the only ones on a daily basis. hummmm

And in my own experiences.... most woman would find it degrading if they want to live with someone if only they could afford half the rent or whatever. Thats why I like the LAT relationship. And most women my age like myself are debt free, are financial secure, and have their own place as well.

"Happy is when a man or woman, has got their own" remember that song....
 WhoamI_46
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 33
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 8:13:48 AM
I can see where you are coming from with this question.
I would want someone who is self sufficient. Who can afford to look after themselves. I am not a materialistic person, so having lots of money would not be a concern for me.

I would worry more if they were mentally and emotionally broke.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 8:54:23 AM
Some men in this age group have plenty of money and want to retain it. Such men find it difficult to meet good looking women who are able to measure up financially.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 9:26:58 AM

I think the first question to ask YOURSELF is - How much does a middle-aged guy have to spend on you to feel like he's 'worth it'? Can that be cut in half, or even half again and you'd still be OK with it?


0 0 and 0

Yes, my 'standards' must be low, but I couldn't imagine wanting, needing or even expecting anyone to spend anything on me. I expect us to save and spend on "us" and family, and eventually grandchildren or travel, but on me? No. It's never occurred to me to want that.

That being said, I've always been independent and I've never married (though I"ve been in live in relationships that have lasted longer than many marriages).

Perhaps I should consider 'raising' my expectations. I've certainly not been with financially responsible men in LTR's. I still can't imagine, though, choosing someone to be with based on their financial responsibility. I just don't want to support them (at least not for long ... in crises, yes, of course, but not as a lifestyle). Perhaps I don't expect much because of my blue collar upbringing and pretty much blue collar lifestyle now. Money has never brought happiness, though. I can't imagine ever passing up the opportunity to explore a relationship with someone who brings me peace over money.

I'm so staunch about 'taking care of my own' I've never even filed child support, and my daughter is 15. Rethinking that now, though, as she'll be driving soon (ugh!) and we are preparing for college.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 36
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 10:16:54 AM

Perhaps I don't expect much because of my blue collar upbringing and pretty much blue collar lifestyle now. Money has never brought happiness, though. I can't imagine ever passing up the opportunity to explore a relationship with someone who brings me peace over money.

+1 to that.

Unfortunately, I can tell of experiences with what I call 'Urban Princesses' that come from white-collar backgrounds who pretty much want to run away the second they find out the word 'manure' was part of my past upbringing. I swear some people treat blue-collar work like it's a contagious disease or something.


I'm so staunch about 'taking care of my own' I've never even filed child support, and my daughter is 15. Rethinking that now, though, as she'll be driving soon (ugh!) and we are preparing for college.

Yeah, I believe there's plenty of single Moms re-thinking that "0, o and 0" because of debt uncertainty with a looming college tuition bill on the horizon. It's not completely selfish thinking to consider that when choosing a mate, but I get back to the former point I made - people think wherever they are currently in life is 'Average' and they want the same - or better. People need to realize their own views of 'average' or 'typical' can be quite skewed because of past experiences and their own social status.

Does that mean we should selfishly demand the other gender 'slum it' and go for the basement first? Hell, no. That's words coming from someone very insecure jumping to a huge conclusion. Instead, just realize your own footing is on the 3rd floor or so, and not 'ground' level. People beneath you are not all urchins of the underground, and some do quite well with what they have.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 37
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 10:31:09 AM
^^^
The words hourly and shift bother some.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 38
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 11:21:22 AM

Makes no difference. I personally don't know any guys who avoid women out of choice.


Allow me to introduce myself.....
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 39
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 11:53:22 AM
I once saw a quote:

"Know money, know women. No money, no women."- R. Don Steele

Overall, men who are more financially solvent (IMO) have the upper hand in dating & can get into a LTR more easily, or afford to date around.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 40
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 12:56:15 PM
Only reason those men can get married easier etc is they have more that a woman can take away in the end , they have large bulls eyes on their back . Good thing men in general are finally taking the red pill . Seems not being in a relationship I have extra money , never seemed to be any extra when I was in a relationship . I am getting used to having a little extra money , good feeling .
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 41
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 1:11:36 PM

I think middle aged women are single because we are middle aged.
We are not young nor beautiful..... not HOT?


Yikes. Why would you want a man who goes after pretty wrappers? I don’t want a man who sees women as decorations and chooses intimate partners based on their age and physical appearance. What value do these men have that you allow to determine YOUR worth?

As far as not being beautiful in “middle age??????” There are many beautiful women right here on this forum! Don’t let men you don’t even know, and don’t even want determine your value as a human being and a beautiful woman.

I’m single because I want to be. And frankly, I don’t care why men in this age group are single, unless I’m interested in him. Then it’s between us.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 2:28:13 PM

Walts
In this day and age, do you or anyone else "really" know how much $$$$$$$$ they have. Oh, sure. Looking around at someone with toys in the driveway and garage, "owns" a house, drives a new vehicle, and pays for every outing (with a credit card) it "may" look like they have money. But, if you are their accountant and file these people's income taxes out, you actually know they are in debt up to their eyeballs.

There definitely are people like this, I know some of them. But I don’t think it amounts to a very large percentage of the population.

Walts
In the last couple of years, banks and such have been warning us Canadians how we are living "outside" our means and we should relearn on how we spend money we don't have. The stories you hear are crazy. I forget the percentages but, a LOT of people are living with a huge amount of debt dragging behind them(other than their mortgages). And more than likely, they will carry that debt to the grave.

I can’t speak for Canada (don’t live there, don’t keep up with their economy), but here in the U.S.A. debt burdens have been trending downward.
http://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/credit-card-data/average-credit-card-debt-household/


Two things stand out: overall credit card debt is down, and the average indebted household is less underwater relative to the average overall than before.



Ouija2025
50 isn’t middle aged BTW

Says who? Wikipedia says it is:

Wikipedia
Middle age is the period of age beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Various attempts have been made to define this age, which is around the third quarter of the average life span of human beings.

According to Collins Dictionary, this is "... usually considered to occur approximately between the ages of 40 and 60".[1] The current edition of the Oxford English Dictionary gives a similar definition but with a shorter span: "The period of life between young adulthood and old age, now usually regarded as between about forty-five and sixty." The US Census lists middle age as 45 to 64,[2] while prominent psychologistErik Erikson saw it ending a little later and defines middle adulthood as between 40 and 65. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the standard diagnostic manual of the American Psychiatric Association, used to define middle age as 40–60, but as of Edition IV (1994) revised the definition upwards to 45–65.


dragonbytes
They all got even cheaper as they got older. My aunt used to use jelly glasses as water glasses.

And what’s wrong with that? I have drank many a drink from jelly glasses, never hurt me. (smile)
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 2:34:56 PM
Of course, and assuming both have jobs, two incomes splitting cost of living are much better than one.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 44
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 3:03:44 PM

Overall, men who are more financially solvent (IMO) have the upper hand in dating & can get into a LTR more easily, or afford to date around.


Can everyone please take note a female wrote this, and not a male.

At least I can use this one as a "reason" for my lack of relationships. What do ya think??????


I can’t speak for Canada (don’t live there, don’t keep up with their economy), but here in the U.S.A. debt burdens have been trending downward.


True but, more research shows since January 2009 it's because "it's largely due to defaults rather than repayment". Don't know which is more troubling us up here in debt, or all the bills that never really got paid down there???? I think some up here could end up losing homes and such with just a little rise in interest rates. It won't take much for a lot of people.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 45
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:12:33 PM
Get dates all the time.

Get rejected for relationships too.

I don't shame women for having fun or complain about the cost for the date.

I'd have more money if I weren't dating. Check.

I'm enjoying the ride while it lasts.

Happy Fishing!!!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:36:03 PM
Currently, I drive a two tone pickup. (White & rust hole brown) My house needs a coat of paint. The last piece of new furniture I bought was out of someone's front yard, and both of my motorcycles can be plated with historic vehicle plates. Oh, and everything is paid for. I don't buy to impress. If a woman is interested in the finer things in life, she's S.O.L. around me. I have the cash because I don't need anything lavish. Stuff is new only once. Everything I own is used, like everything you all own.

If it's important to measure a man by a buck, then so be it. But don't get mad if a man says there's too much of you. I sorta remember a quote my grand dad used- "What's sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander"
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 47
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:36:37 PM

I would worry more if they were mentally and emotionally broke.


A priceless quote...

Yet for many who are in that state of being .... they are still here it seems looking or other.... in having a glimmer of hope of those days gone by....
But when their left side of their brain kicks.. &...it is what is is.. as their , "dice have been cast"..... & their bed is made with the end results no more.....sometimes tis best to leave that sleeping dog lying...cuz there is not a answer....but only a complaint why oh why....cheers & good luck
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 48
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 4:52:21 PM

Currently, I drive a two tone pickup. (White & rust hole brown) My house needs a coat of paint. The last piece of new furniture I bought was out of someone's front yard, and both of my motorcycles can be plated with historic vehicle plates. Oh, and everything is paid for. I don't buy to impress. If a woman is interested in the finer things in life, she's S.O.L. around me. I have the cash because I don't need anything lavish. Stuff is new only once. Everything I own is used, like everything you all own.

If it's important to measure a man by a buck, then so be it. But don't get mad if a man says there's too much of you. I sorta remember a quote my grand dad used- "What's sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander"

You need the $ for the vehicle, the insurance & the gas to put in your car. & To keep a roof over your head. It's common sense. So you can date.

But if you were very picky like some men & wanted a Barbie, you'd probably have to travel further to meet her. And spend more to impress her.

You'd adjust your dating expectations to your budget, period.

And if there's too much of a woman, she needs to adjust her expectation too. If she is not the cat's meow she may have to travel further, etc.

But the man who has MORE $ has more options. Doesn't mean he will find a better woman. Just more choices if he doesn't want to pick & choose from who is local.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 49
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 5:09:32 PM

The last piece of new furniture I bought was out of someone's front yard,


The last piece of new furniture I bought was........was........was......does a microwave count as a piece of furniture?


What's sauce for the goose,


Plum, please.


Hey now...I'm not cheap but frugal..


Even better- "value conscious".
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 50
Men in this age group and money
Posted: 1/22/2015 6:11:01 PM

Do you think that men in this age group who are single, part of the reason is that they don't have much money?


I don't think that.

like me they're single by choice because it's fun to date a variety of women.

they may be single because she got the mine and he got the shaft and he doesn't want burned agai.

maybe his ardor has cooled and he doesn't feel the need to go after women like he once did.

maybe he gets just as much enjoyment from his buddies as he does with a woman.

I have a friend who was once upper middle class and he had a huge financial falling out. he met this woman when he was broke and she still like him. she became his girlfriend and she didn't care that he was near penniless because she felt they had chemistry and she could afford to take them both out.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Men in this age group and money