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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?      Home login  
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 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26
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Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I guess it was like a really unique roller coaster. I know I wouldn't want to ride it again, but I'm glad I got to ride it once, and I'm glad I got off the ride alive.


Sounds intense....good thing you removed yourself....


So it was the best thing that ever happened. I was after that in another relationship, but we got to a point where our feeling were not growing, so we split. Then I met the woman that I am with now. What can I say, it was worth the wait.


Thanks for sharing...it's good to hear happily-involved-now kind of stories as I'm going through this now and am finding it tougher than I thought it would be....
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 27
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/30/2015 8:07:31 AM
I was once ENGAGED to a woman who suffered from " depression " . The reason I put that word in QUOTATIONS is because I'm not sure that was SPECIFICALLY the problem. You see, she took antidepressants but THEY didn't seem to HELP.

Her mood was cyclical : sweet, sour, sad .

ANYWAY... we didn't end up GETTING married and after the DUST settled I definitely feel like it was for the BEST.

There are MORE reasons than what I've mentioned but you KNOW me, I'm NOT the type to go on and ON and on.

; )
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 28
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/30/2015 8:09:15 AM

Thanks for sharing...it's good to hear happily-involved-now kind of stories as I'm going through this now and am finding it tougher than I thought it would be....


Take your time. Time IS the ultimate healer. And... distance and getting into new people.

Some people need time away from relationships to completely heal and then go back. Some do not. I would say that I can jump right on with no issues. Yet, after my last split, where we were not going anywhere and I was fine with the split, I took 8 months off from dating. I did go out a few times with a super materialistic Russian ex-ballerina turned Tennis pro. Who I just realize lives two miles from where my current girlfriend lives. But anyway. I took the time off so I could write not so I could heal.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 29
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/30/2015 11:06:30 AM

I was once ENGAGED to a woman who suffered from " depression " . The reason I put that word in QUOTATIONS is because I'm not sure that was SPECIFICALLY the problem. You see, she took antidepressants but THEY didn't seem to HELP.

Her mood was cyclical : sweet, sour, sad .

ANYWAY... we didn't end up GETTING married and after the DUST settled I definitely feel like it was for the BEST.

There are MORE reasons than what I've mentioned but you KNOW me, I'm NOT the type to go on and ON and on.

Hahaha - welcome back, MMM.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30
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Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/30/2015 12:56:37 PM
@MMM...the CAPITALIZATIONS are MEANT to be for EMPHASIS.....as I still don't have a working bold feature....
If you're gonna MOCK me...at LEAST do it PROPERLY!!! LOL
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 31
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/30/2015 9:20:28 PM
I would not literally, but figuratively rather saw my balls off with a rusty spoon, then deal with this last girl again.

There is nothing but time, I am an advocate of meditation = can kind of take the pain away but its a hard thing to do. I suck at it, but it does help me. There is great healing in phasing out to think of nothing.

Also I always go through a phase where I improve myself, its kind of my way of getting back. Put on 20 lbs of muscle and fuel yourself with anger. At least I am good at channeling anger into exercise. Sun Tzu said - turn a weakness into a strength - that's how you win wars. Take your chink in the armor, and do whatever you can with it to improve conditions.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 32
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/31/2015 7:44:53 AM
Only once I stopped loving them romantically then I was like Wow....

Became glad in a way, but also not glad.

Hard to explain
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 33
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/31/2015 10:47:41 AM

rather saw my balls off with a rusty spoon



I don't think that can even be done? Can it?
*pictures it*
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 34
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Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/31/2015 11:13:39 AM
Now WHY in the name of whatever you believe in, would you WANT that picture in your head?!?!?!lmao

I had ALMOST gotten it out of my own head, and you HAD to repeat it?!?!?

Don't do it charmin....trust me...that way lay madness....:/
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 35
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 1/31/2015 11:25:02 AM
LOL ....What can I say Dee
Kinda reminds me of a fb post I received recently that read " You know, you're a sick and twisted individual. I like that about you!"

*winks
 iamconstipated
Joined: 3/3/2015
Msg: 36
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/15/2015 3:58:41 PM
I am glad that it didn't as he wasn't too close to his family and his life goals were to make a lot of money and he'd live wherever it took to make that goal. So far he has moved 6 times in his lif all over the place and I know I wouldn't have been happy moving all over the place.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 37
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/15/2015 7:51:48 PM
iamconstipated might I interest you in a big pot of cabbage?

it just maaaaaaay help...
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 38
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/15/2015 10:12:12 PM

"Be grateful that someone removed THEMSELVES from your Life" type thing...

I guess the difficulty comes when it ISN'T on YOUR timetable.....

I wouldn't say that. I would say more that it's when it isn't by your Volition. If you're with someone you are really into and don't want to part ways with, even just dating, and you put the pieces together that they're going to break up with you -- you do a pre-emptive strike and break up with them. In many situations it's fitting because it'll make them Not want to break up, and turn the tables. I Don't call this playing someone really (assuming they Were going to Very soon) -- as that's what they wanted in the first place, due to Good reason, right? Okay, if it really was going to be for good reason -- they'd at least roll with it.

My only gripe with time healing all wounds is that I wish it would hurry the hell up ..
grrrrr *kicks a clock*

Easy, Charmin! After a breakup to any pretty gal, there's plenty of men readily available to lick her wounds...

Someone who, rather than being "the one that got away" you one day discovered was more of a "Thank the Heavens, they got away!"

In retrospect, yeah. But of those, I wanted out but didn't want out -- they just initiated it. Didn't take me too long to fully Feel the "thank heaven" feeling.

Someone once said to me- 'a man's rejection is God's protection'.. and I really like that thought.

I always thought it was "a man's rejection is condom protection," meaning that he's not that into you. Or maybe I'm wrong on that one. ;) All kidding aside, what's the line about God/the-universe about a man's stalking? :)

We were never single at the same time, and we only had one encounter on a school trip to Canada one year.

I think that's what cursed it. I think it's something like "A man's trip to Canada with a lady without hockey, is the Hockey Gods' rejection".... or something like that. ;)

I knew there were issues she had to deal with at home, but I assumed that the strength I thought I saw would carry her out of the troubles.

Usually in these circumstances, the gal is at least a few steps out of his league...

I dated a bipolar when the economy went down and she was diagnosed with breast Cancer. Because of the Steroids her mood swings were quite intense.

I dealt with a couple bi-polars. In all honesty, my advice is to never think about truly dating someone bi-polar -- unless you've already got to know them thru other circumstances (no, not the "Friends First" role-playing game), and knowing that over the Years of knowing them, that their totally managed underlying problem wouldn't be a relationship problem. You could say the same for a variety of different red flags, too, though.


rather saw my balls off with a rusty spoon

I don't think that can even be done? Can it?

If there's a will (and an angry GF), there's a way. :)
 clarice46
Joined: 3/4/2015
Msg: 39
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/16/2015 5:12:53 AM
forumfellathesequel

They say that you should never leave a relationship unless it is a relief to do so. If you still miss the exes then it was probably their idea to leave or you were not really ready to. Plenty of people separate when one is still wanting to be together and that causes all sorts of problems especially with children involved.
 SILLYGIRL111
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 40
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Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/16/2015 4:15:00 PM
Yes. That is why I am not looking for anyone like I use to look I just about gave up looking. I am leaving it in Gods hands to find me a decent stand up guy. I like being single there are no headaches and work. I see people staying with people that are not good for them or for them just to be with someone. You never settle. It is not bad being single I like it. relationships do not last like the use to in the past. One day you find out the person your with you grow out of. The honeymoon stage ends. I ended my marriage I was with him over 25 years. . . I am glad I ended it.. If I can find a man as awesome as my mother I would be with him. I had good people around me growing up and that is what I want in a relationship based on that.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 41
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/20/2015 12:57:59 PM
I'm grateful my ex wasn't able to conceive.

I often wonder if a child would have brought us closer together, but her cheating grounded me in reality.

Didn't so much dodge a bullet with her, but dodged creating another single mother situation (not an intent, mind you, more a side effect).
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 42
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/20/2015 1:16:39 PM

I'm grateful my ex wasn't able to conceive. ... Didn't so much dodge a bullet with her, but dodged

... having to use a coat-hanger! ;) Kidding, kidding... Hey, posts work!
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 43
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Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/20/2015 1:51:57 PM
Very glad I came here to read this. Lots of great posts, its helping me cope with my current situation.

Thank you everyone and thank you DEE for starting this :)

I am just too broken up to share my story right now.
Maybe later......
 jpwrnglrwmn
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 44
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/21/2015 12:30:31 PM
Yes, and like another poster, that is why I am single by choice now. . probably gave up several years ago. I figure, if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. If not, then . . .still learning to be happy just by myself. I guess there are times when I see my parents (and realize they're getting older), I feel like I've let them down in some way. I know they worry, and wish I was with someone. The time for having kids is already past for me. (I know that past age 35, the risks for women and the baby goes up) But one can only go through so many failed relationships before you realize it's time to throw in the towel.
The last relationship. . well, let's say it's was more of a giving nature on my end than his, and unfortunately. . at the end, found out why he's afraid to run into any ex-gf. Plain and simple. . he's a jerk! And this was my dad's first impression of meeting him at the time, too. I know I was at fault, too. .and have come to realize I'm just not very good at picking men that are right for me. So, it's just best to remove myself from any dating situation.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 45
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/22/2015 11:49:12 AM

So, the "ones who got away":
1 is dead... lung cancer...
1 dead from cervical cancer
1 dead from car crash
1 dead from motorcycle crash

So wait, you're 53 and you have 4 dead ex's, 1 beginning dementia, 1 suffering from paranoia, 1 living in a car, 2 turned-Jesus-freaks, and 2 alcoholics... What are you putting in their drinks?! :)
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 46
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Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/25/2015 9:22:33 PM
Yep, I certainly have and the way I got over them sooner rather than later was to realize I was missing a fantasy not the reality.

Also check out what you think you are missing or will miss, then pursue that in yourself or for yourself. Looking outside yourself for satisfaction/love/security/happiness etc. just puts off having them. In other words it sidetracks REAL success for yourself.

When you become the person you'd choose...you end up with many fine choices instead of many regrets.

p.s. it's never too late.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 47
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/26/2015 5:51:47 AM

was to realize I was missing a fantasy not the reality.



^^^^ That reminded me of my ‘’first love.’’ at 17. As we bumped into each after 40 years. She still can take any man’s breath away. Yet now, after all that time has pasted between us..... reality did set in for me as is was not to be again...

As for me saying, any meaningful relationship I was involved in & being grateful a did not work out...
No can do that ! lol

And how glad, as it turned out to fall in love, get married, raise a family. To have first sowed my oats in my early twenty... & by 30.... being a-little more mature, lol... etc. & to take on these new & important responsibilities.

So Yes.... I’m very grateful for having to live the very good life, not so good at times, but all in all enjoyed those experiences as....100% reality. Like Frank Sinatra said, ‘’That Life ! ‘'
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 48
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/27/2015 1:56:49 AM
My recent relation, in retrospect, was a transitory (and transitional) relationship, after a long relationship with myself and dedicated abstinence with it (it was torture, but worth it).

Now that I think of it, I don't feel it was a matter of I'm glad I dodged a bullet but it felt like I found the one! Am I ashamed of it? No. I learned invaluable lessons and it did unearth me from a rut of confusion and isolation in other areas of my life. I'm eternally grateful to him, for gifting me with that, even though we couldn't be together after all.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 49
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/27/2015 4:12:42 PM

My recent relation, in retrospect, was a transitory (and transitional) relationship, after a long relationship with myself and dedicated abstinence with it (it was torture, but worth it).


Well.....good for you, as for many, who needed to rebound quickly before the ink is dry or good byes,break-ups etc, but in the mean time forgot to heal first.
In what’s it’s really all about..... before venturing onward into a new relationship. But we all done that, as for some they had too, for some we’ll for other reasons,etc.... but in reality time for most, heals all wounds....or so I heard....lol


I'm eternally grateful to him, for gifting me with that, even though we couldn't be together after all.


imo, we all still need to grow first on our own.....and if later.... need or want a companionship to share like wise... & still be individuals too.....yes.....that’s it....easy to say but so hard to find.....good luck
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 50
Ever been grateful that a relationship DIDN'T work out and why?
Posted: 3/28/2015 4:28:50 AM

Well.....good for you, as for many, who needed to rebound quickly before the ink is dry or good byes,break-ups etc, but in the mean time forgot to heal first.
In what’s it’s really all about..... before venturing onward into a new relationship. But we all done that, as for some they had too, for some we’ll for other reasons,etc.... but in reality time for most, heals all wounds....or so I heard....lol


Time, in this case, wasn't as long as I had expected, considering the circumstances and the length/impact of the relationship. I think the best thing I can do at this point is continue dating and not worrying about a relationship, again, for awhile. I'm in the process of planning an extended trip abroad for two months; so naturally I'm not very interested in rushing to find anything before that, just to leave him in five months for one, two or even three months, given the nature of my project. (You later discussed the balancing act of relating to somebody else and nurturing yourself as an individual, and I think my situation applies, in this case.)



imo, we all still need to grow first on our own.....and if later.... need or want a companionship to share like wise... & still be individuals too.....yes.....that’s it....easy to say but so hard to find.....good luck


If anybody is introspective, over-analytical, particular (and peculiar), it's me. I know.

Luck? A little. Hard work? Yes, even if it doesn't yield my desires.

Cheers, and thanks
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