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 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 98
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The very first time you meet someone from POF and you notice she's 50 pounds overweight (when she had 'a few pounds over' on her profile)...
What's your reaction to her 'little white lie'?


It's happened in the past, It wont happen in the future. I am done looking. However, that's not the issue. When it happened in the past, I assumed she was not happy with the way she looked and felt the need to misrepresent what she looked like. I am not attracted to overweight women so a second date would never happen. That doesn't mean that I believed everything she told me was a lie. I didn't hide my wallet or believe I couldn't trust her. It doesn't mean I am going to feel completely lied to or angry. People will try to put themselves in a positive light, they will tone down their perceived faults and focus on their positive attributes. Someone saying their are taller than they are or slimmer than they are doesn't make them a habitual liar.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 99
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 5:33:15 PM
If I liked a guy and he had lied about his age by two years, no big deal as he had explained why. Women lie about their ages all the time after all. As for smoking, if he is a heavy smoker that would turn me right off. As the relationship progresses you would find out what else he may have lied about I imagine.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 100
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 5:49:53 PM
Actually, someone claiming to be a non-smoker is the one "lie" I'll tolerate, because so many people are trying to quit, and it can take a lot of tries and a lot of failings.

* Oh - and the body type thing, because so many chubby men honestly believe they have "athletic" body types, I think.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 101
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 8:57:06 PM
Even if I met a LIAR that didn't match up to their profile, I'd still give them my time and be courteous.

Dating is a b!tch.

2nd date? Fvck that sh!t
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 102
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Smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 9:07:36 PM

He then got all huffy and left...lol.


Who paid?
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 103
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 9:11:36 PM
LH sighting, message 23!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 104
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 9:28:17 PM
"LIAR!!!!

This probably means I am really married with 5 young kids and will steal your money and screw your sister....."

Are you the guy who had to go to court for beating his wife so bad that some pofers sent me a warning about you?

Or were they Lying?

Figured you would comment when I first challenged you.

Suppose you are going to say I am lying.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 105
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 9:48:22 PM
Uh-oh. I just realized what "a few extra pounds" means. I thought it was some British expression, something to do with money.

To the lady above me: You look like Sally Field.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 106
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/15/2016 9:56:30 PM
Addictive personalities usually have more than one addiction. Often the smoker/drinker is a gambler as well.
Some people really are just social drinkers but there are no occasional smokers that I know of. Every occasion really.
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 107
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/16/2016 5:03:06 AM
I've kind of dropped out of dating. There is less drama\lying and I don't have to wear pants.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 108
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/16/2016 6:30:13 AM

Are you the guy who had to go to court for beating his wife so bad that some pofers sent me a warning about you?


Huh? You're kidding right? Not sure how you would get from what I said to there but....

My point is that there are some lies you will shrug off as it goes with the territory and there are some that will be deal breakers, red flags or severe character flaws. I am not grouping all lies into the same category.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 109
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/16/2016 8:01:05 AM
Wife beater??

Wow.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 110
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/16/2016 8:08:32 AM
^^^^^^ exactly, not sure where in the hell that came from. People are just odd.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 111
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/16/2016 8:49:49 AM

letitialegrande
Addictive personalities usually have more than one addiction. Often the smoker/drinker is a gambler as well.
Some people really are just social drinkers but there are no occasional smokers that I know of. Every occasion really.


Letitia, you are overgeneralizing here, and to a rather large extent.

Most smokers are not addictive personalities. I smoked for 25 years, finally quitting in 1997. Hardest thing I ever did. And I've never had a problem with drinking or gambling. Yes, I have done both, no, I have never become addicted, not in the slightest.

And there are most definitely occasional smokers. I have known a number of them down through the years. Most smokers do get addicted, nicotine is very addictive. But not to everyone.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 112
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/16/2016 4:45:12 PM
Cdan...

You just said that one look at her and you won't go on a second date. Why?
Because she's overweight and felt the need to misrepresent what she looked like.
Her lie doesn't figure into it.
You don't even consider the aspect of her lie because it is something else which disqualifies her from your dating pool (if you were dating).

But, I won't go on a date with someone I can look at and see he lied (I prefer a first meet to a date).
Not because he's short or smokes.
But because he lied.

Just because I've caught someone in one lie doesn't mean that I believe everything they've said is a lie.
But it puts doubt in my mind that anything they've said is the truth.

I try not to live in 'what-if' land, I try not to 'fix' people, I try not to make excuses when people try to fvck me over or convince me of something I know is not a good idea. That's what people do when they want to believe the lies.

To paraphrase you, some liars you will shrug off.

ClooneysTutor....
Yes, courtesy and kindness is always an excellent habit.
It's helped me in innumerable situations...
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 113
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/17/2016 7:03:58 PM

Women lie about their ages all the time after all.


Because?

They are AFRAID of the truth?

I thought they were "empowered"?

Doesn't empowerment mean accepting the truth for what it is?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 114
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/18/2016 1:37:10 PM
It might not be 'empowerment'; it might be the negative reaction of other people.

I remember once mentioning that it was my birthday and I'd 'hit another decade' that weekend.
A very nice young man of 24 who worked in the same building said, "You're 30! I was going to ask you for a date."
Implying, of course, that 30 was far too old to date -- even though just minutes previously, he'd thought me perfectly acceptable.
When I told him I would adore him forever because I was actually 40, he fell out of his chair.
But, no more talk about dating.

On the other hand, that's really only valid in person if you think about it. People tell lies to avoid someone else's reaction and on OLD, you simply don't worry about other people's reactions.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 115
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/19/2016 6:37:29 AM
"A very nice young man of 24"
So what did the other 23 say?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 116
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/19/2016 10:59:36 AM
They agreed with him.
 Akitahun
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 117
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/20/2016 12:19:31 AM
Please explain "occaisional smoker." (Too tired to spell!) Smoking is smoking. Goodbye to you if you smoke!
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 118
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/20/2016 5:35:11 AM
^^^

Smokes occasionally: Doesn't want to meet you.
Smokes often: Doesn't want to meet you.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 119
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smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/20/2016 8:00:06 AM

Akitahun
Please explain "occaisional smoker." (Too tired to spell!) Smoking is smoking. Goodbye to you if you smoke!


I really don’t like people who are so judgmental.

But to answer you, as if you were really asking a question: Most of the occasional smokers that I have known tend to smoke only when they are drinking.

And I am okay with that. Life is short, everyone has flaws, having an occasional cigarette when you’re out drinking is far from the worst flaw that I have had to put up with. Far, far from it.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 120
smoker who lied on profile
Posted: 6/20/2016 12:32:28 PM

Smoking is smoking.


I used to be that 100% absolute, too.

Then......


Please explain "occaisional smoker."


I came across a woman's profile who had "occasional smoker" listed.
Then in the text portion she explained that by "occasional smoker", she meant that she smokes ONE cigarette per month when out at a bar with friends.

IF that was true, she is not a complete "non-smoker" but she would barely qualify as a "smoker" either, in the common use of the term.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 121
smoker who died on profile
Posted: 6/21/2016 7:00:05 AM
Sounds like little white lies to me. I don't like it, but whether or not it's a deal breaker or not is something you'll have to decide for yourself.

Keep in mind that nobody is perfect, this includes you.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 122
smoker who died on profile
Posted: 6/21/2016 2:33:06 PM
^^^
Nonsense, Hemingway...
I'm a perfect me.
No one is better at being me than me.
:-)
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