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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How likely would you be to join a new dating website?      Home login  
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 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 51
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

"New dating sites are dead. Discussion boards are largely dead...a few crumbs here and there.

Meet Up, Twitter...new ideas outside of the box.

Anything successful to do with relationships needs to be a new concept and not a dead on arrival rehash.

Ease of use and simplicity is essential to any new idea...thus why sites now have option of joining with Facebook, Google, etc. today one needs to offer a 'click' to join... Make it any more complicated and it is 'next'. I no longer register for anything unless it's a 'click'...otherwise it's a pain in the butt."


Seems there are some attempts at copying POF out there. Most try to capitalize too early it seems. Have to provide a useful service for FREE, to get the numbers way up for a year or three. Many can't support that long-term an outlook.
I would join in a very functional popular new site that had more useful FREE features than this one.

Maybe you consider this site one of those "crumbs" or "dead" discussion boards?
You have posted approximately 50 posts here in these very alive and still useful Forums over the last month.
Let's keep them alive with some new ideas and some helpers to lessen the attempts by a few trolls at disruption.

S
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 52
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/1/2015 8:08:20 AM

Let's keep them alive with some new ideas and some helpers to lessen the attempts by a few trolls at disruption.


I'm all for that, too.

Who are the trolls? How can people like me who haven't been here long know?

What is the criteria?

Call in the POF Troll-Busting team. I can think of a few folks I trust that I'd nominate for that.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 53
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/1/2015 8:10:19 AM

One of my biggest gripes about online dating. Women are rarely proactive. They get a bunch of messages, they decide which one looks best and go with it. Most just aren't comfortable reaching out first.


I have never had an issue being proactive. I will send the first message or begin a conversation in real life. The problem is that those never seem to pan out. I imagine it is because I am attracted to the sort of man who would not be afraid to approach me so perhaps these relationships are doomed from the get-go.

I have never "gotten a bunch of messages". I very rarely receive messages on any of the sites where I have an active profile. I do receive my fair share of save my soul messages and just plain rude messages.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 54
view profile
History
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/1/2015 9:47:21 AM
^^^

Tall IQ. This discussion site is exactly why these sites are dead. A few million subscribers and the participation in this form is a statistical blip..few new participants.

So yes, discussion boards are dead...especially as commercially viable entities. I doubt if POF invests any resources in this one...the plug will be pulled on it within a couple of years.

We have about 6 thousand members to one of the Meet Ups I attend. There were all of 9 posts to the discussion board last year...all comments are now direct on site or between members via text, etc.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 55
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How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/1/2015 9:55:21 AM
Re proactive messages from women

I received some when on Match. I found women proactive but they are selectively pro active. I doubt if all women receive messages from all men so why would it be the reverse. It is up to the member to attract a person and receive a message.

If women are not attracted to your profile, then you will not receive a message. The same woman could be sending messages to selective males. Why do they receive messages and not you?

Also, women are proactive my putting a man on their favourites list, etc. I would expect a guy to pick up on the cue and message these women if he finds them attractive.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 56
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/1/2015 7:10:43 PM
I'd like to see a site that lets you manage all of your OTHER sites from one dashboard.

Hit a toggle, and all those sites come down. Invisible. Hidden.

Update content? Bam. All sites updated at once.

I'd also be transparent about what sites I'm on and which ones were visible, from that dashboard, that is viewable.

Of course, this would require a STANDARD to be adopted by all the competitors. Yeah, right...

I don't write women. Period. They write me and I'm doing ok with that strategy.

If I was 20 or so? Yeah, I'd be frustrated :)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 57
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/1/2015 7:14:56 PM
Join another dating website? I think id rather jump in front of a bus.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 58
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/2/2015 2:37:29 PM

One of my biggest gripes about online dating. Women are rarely proactive. They get a bunch of messages, they decide which one looks best and go with it. Most just aren't comfortable reaching out first.


They used to be more proactive years ago.
Both replying to messages and intiating messages of their own, as well as sending "icebreakers" on sites, and "favoriting" people.
But not so much at the present time.

Whether it's being too picky, burned too many times, unsure of themselves, or a mixture of all of that, and more, online dating is tougher overall now for men than it has been in the last 10 years. (perhaps for women, too, but women were getting the overwhelming majority of the first messages years ago, and they still are)
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 59
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 8:30:30 AM
I don't think you will be able to design a site without the same issue honestly. If you look at PoF for example, the phenomenon occurs because the number of men far outweighs the number of women on the site. It may also be due to the social expectations and behaviors in society, for example men are more expected to initiate contact and chase women than vice versa. That and the fact that there are much much more men, women find their emails overflowing with messages from men. So they then end up making quick and hasty decisions about who they are and who they are not going to reply back to, even for very trivial reasons. I can't think of a way around that.

Some ways I have considered include; if the amount of men was restricted. There would be a lot more men but it does not 'break the ice' so to speak, and the old behaviors of men chasing women would still occur, only there would be more of a pool of women and less men for the women to chose from.

I think a general site chat box would be good for the site, so everyone can talk together and it may help break the ice too and get females more involved. By chat box I mean an embedded IM (instant messenger). Then personal chat box's like they have in the speed dating sites would be a good idea as well. Oh I just had an idea for a local chat box as well, which could be based on location. So say for example, I could log in and and I would be at the 'home' page (my profile), and have the general site chat box somewhere on the page, and the local chat box, and my personal chat box for people that are messaging me directly. I would then be able to talk to the whole general community, my local community and people messaging me privately. The general community one would be good for generally feeling involved and welcome and the local community IM box would help me to break the ice and talk to men locally.
An accompanying forum would be a good idea too (clearly better forums than here), with the option to block other users from posting and generally better controls.

I think you would lose a lot of people if everyone had to sign up using a credit card, so for that reason it would be a bad idea to implement.

Anyways so that is my thoughts, there are more important things that would be a good idea to have but not enough space etc. I just thought those ideas were okay?!
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 60
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 9:38:02 AM

Anyways so that is my thoughts, there are more important things that would be a good idea to have but not enough space etc. I just thought those ideas were okay?!

These are good ideas, Aradia, very thoughtfully presented.
 Forte31599
Joined: 11/2/2014
Msg: 61
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 10:37:42 AM

Discussion boards are largely dead...a few crumbs here and there.


Just the opposite is true. The forums here are dead. The forums on other, newer sites have become hugely active.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 62
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How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 11:38:58 AM
“I don't think you will be able to design a site without the same issue honestly. If you look at PoF for example, the phenomenon occurs because the number of men far outweighs the number of women on the site. It may also be due to the social expectations and behaviors in society, for example men are more expected to initiate contact and chase women than vice versa. That and the fact that there are much much more men, women find their emails overflowing with messages from men. So they then end up making quick and hasty decisions about who they are and who they are not going to reply back to, even for very trivial reasons. I can't think of a way around that.”

Actually, Tinder and HotOrNot DID think of a way around it: requiring mutual attraction before communication is allowed. On those apps, women do not get bombarded with messages by men from all walks of life – they only get messages from men whose profiles they have approved to communicate with them.

But as I said in one of the Tinder threads, I think a significant amount of women dislike such systems because it causes them to have to put a nearly equal amount of effort into those apps as men do, whereas on POF, women (in general) do not even put in 10% as much effort as men do. Most reasonably attractive women on POF don’t have to do any searching, much less contact initiating, because they can just sit back and let the men come to them. On Tinder, if a woman does nothing... nothing will happen. At the very least, a woman has to browse through as many profiles as a man in order to accomplish anything, and instead of “passive rejection” (ignoring emails from men she isn’t attracted to), she has to engage in “active rejection” (actually saying “No” to every guy that doesn’t interest her). Of course, this is hardly any great amount of “effort” – heck, it’s probably far less effort, because they don’t have to read any emails from men they aren’t attracted to (you know, 90% of them). But I think it’s a psychological thing: they find the “leveling of the playing field” to be bothersome, since most men on Tinder are putting 90% less effort into Tinder than POF to accomplish the same thing, as they can’t waste emails on women who aren’t physically attracted to them.

That said, Tinder’s limited profiles are an issue (leads to a lot of time wasted AFTER mutual physical attraction is established), so basically, repeating what I said in the third-to-last paragraph of my first post in this thread, we need a dating website that has complete profiles, but also requires mutual attraction before communication is allowed, and we’ll have a perfect website. That people would still find something to b*tch about.

BTW, although men do outnumber women on the majority of dating websites, most major sites like POF are usually only about 1.5 to 1 (though varying greatly with age). That's not a significant enough ratio to be causing major OLD problems.
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 63
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 11:54:37 AM
Would forums with more features be a good start?

I have built a forum, http://old.freeforums.net

I need good Board/Sub-Board ideas. This site allows you to post images, smilies, links and a whole lot more functionality than what's on POF. Just taking this for a test drive while I noodle around with some code and update my web server to hold it. If you can take a peek and suggest some forum titles, I'll get them up.



Aradia96 says...

Anyways so that is my thoughts, there are more important things that would be a good idea to have but not enough space etc. I just thought those ideas were okay?!


Excellent ideas, and thanks!
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 64
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 12:12:32 PM

I have built a forum, http://old.freeforums.net

I need good Board/Sub-Board ideas. This site allows you to post images, smilies, links and a whole lot more functionality than what's on POF. Just taking this for a test drive while I noodle around with some code and update my web server to hold it.


Seriously, Kewl? You're given a free dating profile and forums and overlooked your host's etiquette rules for proper guest behavior? Let me refresh your memory (because I'm sure you knew this at one point, right)? From
POF's Forums and Site Rules AND HELP
:


RULES GOVERNING THE ENTIRE SITE - BOTH DATING AND FORUMS
(#7)


No SPAM, polls, surveys or solicitation of any sort, for services rendered, or services asked for, nor goods for sale or wanted. This includes continually posting web links to other web sites for the sole purpose of redirecting other users, or attention seeking threads (e.g. "I'm looking for ..." where the main thrust of the thread is to have people look at you and contact you - Your dating site profile and email are for that purpose).


You're welcome.
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 65
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 12:15:30 PM
Well, I'm not doing any of the above so I'm not sure what your point is, Joe. I'm not SPAMMING (this new site has been talked about in length), I'm not buying, selling or trading services, I'm not doing anything against the letter of the ToS.

It helps when you have a law degree. ;o)
 bobby_z_man
Joined: 10/21/2014
Msg: 66
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 12:24:32 PM

I have built a forum, http://old.freeforums.net

Good luck with that.

In another post earlier you asked how to delete your profile from the phone app. This post just might get your account deleted for you when the forum troll-patrol members start reporting you for it. Personally I could care less if you start something new and advertise here and I wish you luck, but don't be surprised if and when you suddenly disappear from the site.

Form Troll-Patrol has received your request.......

Again, good luck with your endeavor.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 67
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/3/2015 12:57:04 PM

I'm not buying, selling or trading services

Jmo, Kewl. POF, of course, will decide.


It helps when you have a law degree. ;o)

Well, I don't have a law degree. I guess you're claiming one.

Really? From where?
 OtisGreening
Joined: 12/8/2014
Msg: 68
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 1:30:33 AM

One of my biggest gripes about online dating. Women are rarely proactive. They get a bunch of messages, they decide which one looks best and go with it. Most just aren't comfortable reaching out first.


I've read that women get better results when they reach out first. I know I have. It would make sense being that women on average have higher expectations when it comes to looking for love. Waiting for men to contact you when a good 90% of them you're not going to respond to anyway is like waiting for leftovers.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 69
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 3:53:44 AM
OK Kewl.

My ideal internet dating site.

1. Free or a single cost for unlimited access paid monthly.
2. Photos, at least one, must be verified. Not quite sure how that could be done. Perhaps must include the front page of a newspaper with the date visible. Or be checked against a scan of a drivers licence. Extra month free or get to the top of searches if photos verified. Perhaps more time if more information added. Or less if no photo, no details.
3. Wide range of options for contact from: Married/attached seeking more, gay, fetish, dating, long term and marriage.
4. No children images permitted.
5. Have a forum and real time forum chat. Aussiematchmaker had this a few years ago and it was great. From memory 1-2 hours a night. If you wanted to have a public conversation you could. e.g. When I had my hysterectomy I wanted to get some intimate information from a range of people. Real experience information. Not just from doctors. I asked my questions if any ladies had the same type of operation as me and about their experience. A couple of women replied and then we went to a private chat. Interestingly the men were fascinated and wanted the conversation to continue in the public forum.
6. Have video chat via the site available with an easy - take screenshot and report if the behavior is not wanted.
7. As well as the choice of ages, as we have here make it broader
Perhaps Default +/- 5 years
Then choice of +/- 10 years, +/- 20 years etc
8. As we have learned chat sites or blogs or forums need to be moderated or they drop to the gutter and become unusable for others.
9. A top 100 as exists with RSVP
10. Have a hook up section.... paid and by subscription only. Sort of like the old Intimate Encounter section.
This could also have a professional section or sex workers could pay for advertising their services. All sorts. Photos with nudity allowed in this section. Charge more for this. To be paid weekly or monthly in advance.
11. Profile review forum like we have here made immediately visible when starting to write a profile.
12. With private video or typing chat have a maximum number of simultaneous conversations allowed able to be set. With Oasis Active here, a site I used to use, once you were on line you were visible. I could manage to say hi to 3 or 4 people and chat with them all at the same time. But there were often lots of invitations and it seemed rude to ignore. So maybe make it default once 2 or 3 chats are active your session looks like you are off line till the numbers drop off. Be able to make yourself 'invisible' or 'busy' to the multitudes as required.
13. Wider range of choice for distance. E.g. Here we have 75 miles, in my country or the entire planet.
Maybe within 10, 20, 50, 100, 200, 500 etc
14. Ability to search by when last active. If no activity within 3 months, automatically archive the profile. The owner is welcome to bring it to life at any time.

I do believe that if something is free it is often treated as being worthless.
Maybe free and you get all the ads.
Pay a subscription to eliminate ads, get to the top of the searches and if a verified photo and a complete profile extra time in your subscription.

There is always room for improvement.


What is S&G?
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 70
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 4:05:24 AM

One of my biggest gripes about online dating. Women are rarely proactive. They get a bunch of messages, they decide which one looks best and go with it. Most just aren't comfortable reaching out first.


I've found the opposite. Most of my contacts here have been initiated by women - some really nice looking women as well. I think region plays into it more than anything else.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 71
view profile
History
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 5:00:52 AM
Sure why not?
I was a long time member of Datehookup, but now the whole site changed overnight.
No forums, couldn't log in, the whole page different..
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 72
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 5:15:11 AM

Ainen says...

Have seen rumors posted about improper behavior by POF mods including the reading of private messages.


That's neither rumor nor improper behavior. There is an article online where Marcus states they have a wall of monitors in their offices displaying every PM that gets sent through the site.


ozsealady1 says...

a whole bunch of stuff


Some of these ideas are interesting, some probably aren't practical or might reduce the user base, but all will be considered. And "S & G" is short for "sh*ts and giggles". Not sure if that term is used Down Under, but it means "I'm just throwing this idea out there".
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 73
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 6:11:07 AM

Ainen says...

Have seen rumors posted about improper behavior by POF mods including the reading of private messages.


That's neither rumor nor improper behavior. There is an article online where Marcus states they have a wall of monitors in their offices displaying every PM that gets sent through the site.

I've always assumed that POF had access to every single message sent on this site for a long, long time. I have no idea what that would take or ... I don't know anything about servers and those things except they get overloaded. How would they have all those things? I wish they'd send me every profile I've written and every message that has ever passed through my account. That would be fabulous.

EDIT: Oh, Kewl, your website? Still think it's advertising but I'm aware that sometimes POF is very generous.

How'd that account deletion via cellphone app go?
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 74
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 6:51:26 AM

Just the opposite is true. The forums here are dead. The forums on other, newer sites have become hugely active.


Yeah...not sure where the person was getting their info...I use several forums, some of which are annoyingly overpopulated.

As to the idea of a new dating site...good luck. Getting millions of users requires extensive advertising.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 75
How likely would you be to join a new dating website?
Posted: 2/4/2015 7:05:06 AM

One of my biggest gripes about online dating. Women are rarely proactive. They get a bunch of messages, they decide which one looks best and go with it. Most just aren't comfortable reaching out first.


Some women will make first contact. Many of my dates / meetings were with women that contacted me first. Having said that, there are a segment of women that think a man should ( almost ) always make the first contact. Whether it's on a dating site at a public venue.
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