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 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26
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NORMALPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Well generally I don't tend to be attracted to the "gossipy females" or those with issues with other women....Just no attraction there, on EITHER part....Most of my female friends were and are fabulous women who support each other and don't engage in adolescent behaviour like talking behind each other's backs, flirting/trying to steal b/f's or husbands etc.....

I feel sorry for women who have never had that experience, because in MY experience, most of them rely SOLELY or largely on the men in their lives for emotional support, which can be quite sporadic depending on their relationship history/patterns....
Friendships with women have been some of the most healing and rewarding ones that I've had and yes, they can be intense and unstable because they often can be as intense as that between men and women! But they have taught me equally as much if not more than those I've had with men....

The main reason that I understand, (from MEN) that men's relationships with each other tend to be more stable is because by nature they are NOT based on intimacy, so much as shared activities, convenience or proximity....less chance of conflict arising...
For myself, I've always looked at my friends as a good place to stretch my "relationship wings", learn about myself and relating to others....they are my "safe place to fall" and I value them for that.....
As for "normal" people ...well, considering the proliferation of people with various psychological/psychiatric problems and behaviour patterns in the world today...the average, or "norm" actually IS somewhat screwed up!!! LOL
We all have our problems and issues and I for one would not want to judge as I have enough of my own "stuff" to deal with and am FAR from perfect....
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 27
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 4:10:55 PM

As for "normal" people ...well, considering the proliferation of people with various psychological/psychiatric problems and behaviour patterns in the world today...the average, or "norm" actually IS somewhat screwed up!!!

There u go!

I have stayed off FB for almost a month...some of it is nice & lovely, but the gossip aspect--I unfollowed almost everyone but kept them as "friends" & I limited myself to 100, many of which are distant cousins.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 28
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 4:25:29 PM

You post this all the time.... My take is You think only Liberals can be, Highly Educated, Intellectual, Hikers, & Community Volunteers..... No Moderates or Conservatives need Apply..... A rather Condescending & Elitist Attitude, to Me...

^^^^^ Is the sky falling.......help help.....


Tell me, would your group of highly educated, intellectual, liberal, hikers who support education, environmental protection and helping people in need, welcome me, a Barbie-looking ballroom dancer who also loves glitter, music, and spandex? Probably not LOL


^^^^^ But.....her first complain was they can't Cook or is not in her a liberal thinking to save the world, omg. .... he's a shit bird ! And why I can't change him either ! go figure.... as from her doctors, lawyers judges, hikers, etc she dates, and for the most part she rejects constantly ^^^^^methink, LH is the one who needs to change or keep thinking she will always be second best....or complaining why, or keep dating those Republicans to prove her point again & again......^^^^



Tell me, would your group of highly educated, intellectual, liberal, hikers who support education, environmental protection and helping people in need, welcome me, a Barbie-looking ballroom dancer who also loves glitter, music, and spandex? Probably not LOL


Landra, as you know...being a very attractive, fit woman,. many folks, mostly women will be prejudice again you.

As I have dated very attractive women like yourself... & at the end of the day or week I would hear the same stuff from my lady, that in what the other women would say to her.... if she has cancer, bulimic & other insulting comments......

But who know Landra,......if you can only hike & cook, save the world & Always agree & don't ever have a opinion.... they might accept you too....
or be with people who are less prejudice, & more open minded then them.... who pretend to be.....
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 29
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 4:35:28 PM
The number of my "true" friends is dropping slowly now, as the years go by. I don't gain in the number of "friends" cause, I have a different definition than a lot here. Acquaintances? Ain't that hard to find someone to watch a game with. Ain't that hard to find someone to "do something" with. But, again, that's not what I define as a "friend". It's really only a couple of hours here and there.

So, for me, "normal" is basically just another label that you may or may not use for my "new acquaintances". I really don't get that in depth to find out one way or the other. I do eliminate those "acquaintances" pretty quick though, if I see or hear something from them that does rub me the wrong way. But, I can also say that with all of my past employers. I don't do well with morons.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 30
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 4:45:14 PM


TY 4 sharing, a few years ago, my son & I volunteered w/ an organization involving animals. They were insane & after 2 years, I had to leave.

Yes, at the gym met anorexic & bulimics or men trying to hit on me. Stopped that.

At OA, most didn't lose weight but my former sponsor became a great friend. When I lost more weight last year, the OA people didn't seem very happy 4 me. No new friends there.

Same thing w/ Red Hats, didn't want a thinner person.

I joined a new woman's group & a board game group.

One group has a woman who uses a 25+ yr old pic on dating sites to meet men.
The other group, some ladies are nice, but the ringleader is a gossipy alpha female that I have to constantly diffuse.


it's not me with the problem, it's everyone else . . that's what you are projecting and you repeatedly choose not
to learn from it, that's sad, and if that's your normal . . .and

i'm paraphrasing; Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from.

@msg# 20, dewd your underoo's need a change
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 31
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:00:24 PM
Blonde Angel- It's too bad there are so many awesome women spread out so far here on POF.
There are many of you I would LOVE to meet (present company included).
I wear make up and enjoy looking nice (not all of the time, but when occasion calls for it), but that's about the end of what I have in common with SOME women.
I just don't get into the cattiness, gossip, and hatefulness that certain types mount on other women, it feels too high schoolish and silly (not to mention mean).
There is a reason why I only have a handful of close women friends, I just can't deal with pettiness, I'm a grown woman with a grand child for goodness sake.
It would be nice to find more women like me.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 32
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:01:04 PM
Good pick up Behind Blue Eyes and even though I'm liberal, I agree with your comments. Some that complain about others being "elitist snobs" come across that way themselves. Just sayin.

I've not put much thought into why or who my friends are...they are just my friends. And normal, what is "normal".
 nocrapzone
Joined: 1/10/2015
Msg: 33
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:04:56 PM
^^

yes, for example someone who would say



all the way from a truck driver to a Premier of a province and everything in between


'all the way' . from what?

. from the lowest form of existence?? ..it sounds like you are saying.

to the "highest" (Premier) ? a bit snobby right there

I know truck drivers I'd trust much further than many Premiers

a good example would be former ON premier slime-bag liar no-upper lip Dalton McGimpy

Truck driver? what is lower? a garden slug?

and the need to drop "premier of province" for bragging rights?

ya hang out every day? every weekend?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 34
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:27:12 PM
Walts- We don't always agree, but I'm going to second this.
My idea of friendship is obviously not the same as some people.
Would they help you move, pick you up at the airport? Have they seen you sick/mad, otherwise at your worst? Do you communicate on a regular basis (long distance friends count if you keep in touch, I've made friends with some people here on POF), Do they REALLY know you, Do they care?
If you can't say yes to at least one of those questions, it's not friendship, jmo.
(don't even get me started on the facebook silliness, the ONLY reason I use it is to keep in touch with friends that are across the bay and my family in North Carolina).
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 35
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:32:34 PM
Actually, I'd like to apologize for that comment, I don't usually say things like that. My dander got a little up on the usual " only highly educated, intelligent....blah, blah, blah" bullshyt and I stuck my foot in it with a - "yea well I know fancy people too". Not proud of it.

My point was that I have a wide variety of folks in my life and I don't prequalify who comes in or out based on education, intellect, occupation, physical attributes or interests, etc. I like people for what's in their heart and their character. And yes, in fact I know two Premiers...one lived in the same building as me and we would chat while taking out the garbage and the other IS a friend.
 nocrapzone
Joined: 1/10/2015
Msg: 36
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:37:07 PM
^^ well good

if I ever shook hands with Lyin' Thievin' Dalton McGuinty I'd count my fingers afterward to make sure they were still all there
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 37
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 6:38:26 PM
I am an introvert & I prefer the company of other introverts MOST of the time.

I am not controlling/alpha/type a, but I am not passive/beta/type b.

I notice many of the group settings I mentioned in this thread seem to have a structure of an Alpha female & a bunch of betas who blindly follow the Alpha. I don't do that.

My "normal" is socializing w/1-2 people at a time who are introverts like myself. W/ some group things, but not all the time.

My normal does not include eating buddies, very athletic people, but people some where in the middle as far as activities. Long walks, beginner hikes, day trips etc.

I like makeup, dressing a certain way & doing my hair a certain way. I would not change that for anyone.

I like talking, laughing & I like people who have no problem presenting themselves as their true self.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 38
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 6:54:33 PM
[My point was that I have a wide variety of folks in my life and I don't prequalify who comes in or out based on education, intellect, occupation, physical attributes or interests, etc. I like people for what's in their heart and their character. ]

This..
I may give leeway to some for not living up to my standard of what's acceptable. Yes, I do have a standard but I feel hypocritical if I don't accept them because of the whole treat others as you'd like them to treat you and all that jazz.

I have no problems making friends of any gender.
There's a lady clerk at my local veggie market where I've shopped for years. She hugged me the last time I was there. She's a friend... on the acquaintance side of friendship scale.
There's a gf 6 hours away that always try to find time to visit me whenever in town. Known her over 30 years. She's a friend too... on the close friend side of friendship scale.
My friendship is an umbrella with many different people in it from one side of the scale to another. Some pof'er in there too. My friends range from the near homeless to suzy homemakers, from drug addicts to politicians. Just about every trade and industry is covered. One of my closest is a doctor and a man. Another could be my daughter if I had one. Totally opposite to me but she adores me and I her. We hang and have fun a few times a year.
And normal....... they are all so diverse! What's normal?!!!!!
How about heart and character.. it's pretty "normal" between each of my melting pot of friends.
Too far outside heart and character I think its when normal gets askewed and ...opps, not allowed under my friendship umbrella.

I've met people who said, I have enough friends
I.. on the other hand believe one can never have enough.
The world is a haystack.
I just open my arms and the needle finds me.
But if I don't like you which is saying alot considering how I try to accept everyone.
*waves bye bye
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 39
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 7:09:27 PM

We each get treated differently/treat people differently.
I want to learn & evolve.


Blonde, I hope you did learn something from message 21---which is that you shouldn't be so quick to make snap judgments about other people and accuse them of things when you don't have adequate proof. Oftentimes, you will turn out to be wrong, as you were in the case of accusing another female poster of misrepresentation. And where you could have cultivated new friendships, you instead cultivated new enemies.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 40
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 7:15:27 PM
^^^that statement rings true for everyone ;0)
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 41
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 7:39:26 PM
None of them are here on these forums. It makes me look in the mirror. Whaaat?
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 42
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History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 8:04:04 PM
Seems to me, normal is just a bar on the graph, no people exist there. Good people are cooler then normal & bad people are just all f-upped ~they don't deserve a rating, col (chuckle out loud)
Where do bad folks, go when they die?
to the Lake of Fire, naturally ~
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 43
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NORMAL
Posted: 1/28/2015 9:29:01 PM
I know what my "normal" is, and I choose my friends accordingly, as we share the same "normal." How boring it would be if all my friends were older black females. Friends transcend racial, sexual, political, age, educational, and other "categories." I think the only thing we have not added to the mix is the elusive gay, tall, red-headed, one-eyed vegetarian Republican veteran who is an adoptive single parent. But if he should show up, and is of like mind, then he's welcome to the mix.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 44
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:56:07 AM
normal
Houghton Mifflin
adj.adjective

Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical.
normal room temperature; one's normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.
Functioning or occurring in a natural way; lacking observable abnormalities or deficiencies.
Relating to or designating the normality of a solution.
Designating an aliphatic hydrocarbon having an acyclic unbranched chain of carbon atoms.
Being at right angles; perpendicular.
Perpendicular to the direction of a tangent line to a curve or a tangent plane to a surface.
Relating to or characterized by average intelligence or development.
Free from mental illness; sane.
n.noun

The usual, expected, or standard state, form, amount, or degree.
Temperatures have been above normal for this time of year.
A perpendicular, especially a perpendicular to a line tangent to a plane curve or to a plane tangent to a space curve.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 45
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:59:06 AM
OG.....


"Normal is suburban lawns and strip malls. I can't stand the idea. I prefer quirky people with ideas, iconoclastic personalities, willing to live a non-conformist version of life."


You would think wouldn't you!


Hidden behind those neatly manicured lawns and their highly intelligent, educated, and professional fascades.....are some of the most quirky and abnormal people I have ever met.... ;)



Op.....

Friends are difficult to come by and I, like you, cannot abide by the cattiness and competion that exists in some women. I have been forunate that I have met several thoughout my life that I can truly call friends. The numbers are not great......less than a handful.....but more than enough to know I have been blessed!

My only advice is to keep putting yourself out there and trying different groups.....it is no different than finding romantic love.....friendship is just another kind!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 46
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 4:10:11 AM
Any time I've been regarded as NORMAL on a first meet, never progressed to a 2nd date.

No more NORMAL sh!t.

I also don't mesh well with attorneys sitting on top of their Tower of Babel.

They are quick to asses a persons character and assassinate at will. Keeping their gals on the hook and faking a future with them. Oy vey.

I think I'm going to pursue the bar exam this year while I sit on the toilet. Shouldn't take more then a year and 1 less date a week.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 47
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 4:32:55 AM
TY everyone...I decided...

I am starting my own Ladies group in the near future & listing my ideas of activities that can be done as a group as to attract the type of people I like. (Betas & Omegas, no alphas/no gossip please)

The posts in here are very illuminating ;0P
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 48
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NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 4:42:35 AM
I'm with several other posters here in that I don't think that having a hundred "friends" on Facebook is any measure of anything more than having a hundred friends on Facebook....lol

Can you call up any of those people in the middle of the night, just because you need to talk? Will they listen, or think you're nuts?
I heard a great description of the definition of friends vs acquaintances from Terry Gorsky once....

He said that "An acquaintance is someone with whom the ACTIVITY that you share is what brings you together, ie. school, a club, etc. and without that activity you would probably lose contact with them. Whereas a friend is someone with whom spending time with THEM is the purpose of the relationship and the activity is secondary....

While social activities can be fun and it's important to have a variety of relationships in your Life, for myself, I have learned that to have even ONE really good FRIEND, is worth a 1000 acquaintances, and if you DO have even one, you should consider yourself lucky!!!

For me, making friends involves many of the same "criteria" as there are for having a primary relationship...most importantly is having shared values, and a mutual willingness to invest in the friendship.
At this age and stage of my Life, I find it more difficult to find that in both areas, not sure why that is.....
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 49
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 6:00:48 AM


I wear make up and enjoy looking nice (not all of the time, but when occasion calls for it), but that's about the end of what I have in common with SOME women.
I just don't get into the cattiness, gossip, and hatefulness that certain types mount on other women, it feels too high schoolish and silly (not to mention mean).
There is a reason why I only have a handful of close women friends, I just can't deal with pettiness, I'm a grown woman with a grand child for goodness sake.
It would be nice to find more women like me.



That is how I feel.

I'm not jealous nor envious of other women. I wouldn't want any less for them, even when and if they have beauty, intelligence, professional and academic success, more social, freedom, that are perhaps superior to my own qualities. It doesn't make sense to expect somebody else to suffer if I'm miserable, because their happiness serves an inspiration so long as they're genuininely happy with themselves. Women should be able to make their own choices and be satisfied with those choices without my catty interference (which I would not).

It's a shame that there are master baiters and their accompanying socks in the forums (and in the greater world) that have to malign the intellectual pursuits of their targets because of this. I dislike mob mentality and I certainly dislike cattiness.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 50
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 6:21:14 AM
Wow, ladies & gentlemen, TY to each one of you.

I don't always write/post the way I am thinking--I have to come back & re-clarify.

As I get older, I like to spend my time w/ people places & things that I truly enjoy.

I do not like to do things, or go places or even hang out w/ people just to pass time. I like quality.

There are many people I could hang with. But very few I'd prefer to hang with. It is so cold out & I hate the cold, so I think I am skipping the activity I was going to go to tonite.

As we get older, we get choosy. I am not a snob, but I only want friendships w/ people (not just women) who are open, just as flawed as I am, but compassionate & know how to share the floor. There are some people I just wouldn't want to be friends with & I am not setting myself up to be drained by them.

I know I am way sensitive, but that is how I am wired neurologically (?Aspie?)

I called a new friend yesterday, she is very sweet. I also called another lady I met on a cruise, she was sick & needed some cheering up. We may go on the same cruise together next fall.

Another friend who moved north, we are planning to meet half-way as soon as it warms up.

I plan on starting my own group & got inspirations from the forums. Although I have a relationship now, in the past, there were years when I didn't on Valentine's Day. Sometimes, I had a friend to hang w/ for the day or evening & we had fun, other times, the women around me just wanted to stay home & sulk.

I am thinking of having a 1st meeting (or 2nd) on or around Valentine's Day, so any woman who has no relationship that is romantic, or a relationship where that person has to work, or their partner is not romantic per se, etc. can get out, & feel she is doing something special. Thanks for the inspiration!
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