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 AUTHOR
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 51
NORMALPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

I am starting my own Ladies group in the near future & listing my ideas of activities that can be done as a group as to attract the type of people I like. (Betas & Omegas, no alphas/no gossip please)


In that case, Blonde, you can't be a member of your new "ladies" group, since you're one of biggest gossips that ever came down the pike, bar none. What are you going to call it? "The Chatty Cat-tys"? The "Blondie Busybodies"? So is this new "ladies" group of yours going to stalk other people's Facebook profiles and falsely accuse them of gaining a ton of weight, as you did this to this other forum poster, mentioned in message 21?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 52
view profile
History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:04:59 AM

Maybe a large pool of acquaintances would be a good environment where to find friends...


Well THERE'S a thought!!!! LOL

Been trying wander.....it can be as difficult as finding a romantic partner in my experience, though....One problem though...where do I find all of those acquaintances?

Even checking into meetups in my area I'm seeing that there's very few that I'm interested in or that fit my schedule and before you say that I should start one, I have a MILLION things going on right now and a very tough work schedule and don't want to commit to something that I have to organize, myself...would rather be a participant....

any way...I DO need to get a social Life of some kind and that WILL require getting out of my normal routine, which is what I'll be working on in the next few months....
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 53
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:13:14 AM
I see some of the b!tches are up early and just ready to pounce. There is a lot of "pot calling the kettle black" on here, including infamous msg. 21 who can be quite the b!tch herself. . And yes, I'm guilty of it too. Some of you that like to call others out don't much like it when you get it thrown back at you. So yup, I can be a b!tch too but Halcyon, you are the biggest one on here. So if it makes your little day to rag on Blonde Angel or me or all the others you rag on...go ahead, we've been around the block a time are too and certainly aren't intimidated by the likes of you. You are certainly no damn better than anyone else on here. Sometimes it is like high school with the stuck up b!tches picking and poking at the not so perfect.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 54
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:21:36 AM

I see some of the b!tches are up early and just ready to pounce. There is a lot of "pot calling the kettle black" on here, including infamous msg. 21 who can be quite the b!tch herself. . And yes, I'm guilty of it too. Some of you that like to call others out don't much like it when you get it thrown back at you. So yup, I can be a b!tch too but Halcyon, you are the biggest one on here.


It takes one to know one, and no woman here is a bigger one than you. It's no wonder you've been banned repeatedly. I don't think I've ever been called the "C" word by another woman, but you managed to do it at least three times. Want to try for a fourth?
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 55
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:33:06 AM

..snip. . They were insane & after 2 years, I had to leave.



Yes, at the gym met anorexic & bulimics or men trying to hit on me. Stopped that.



At OA, most didn't lose weight but my former sponsor became a great friend. When I lost more weight last year, the OA people didn't seem very happy 4 me. No new friends there.



Same thing w/ Red Hats, didn't want a thinner person.



One group has a woman who uses a 25+ yr old pic on dating sites to meet men.
The other group, some ladies are nice, but the ringleader is a gossipy alpha female that I have to constantly diffuse.



Sometimes it is like high school with the stuck up b!tches picking and poking at the not so perfect.


we're on the same page bluemoon,

awesome
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 56
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:33:22 AM

"I see some of the b!tches are up early and just ready to pounce."

" no damn better than anyone else on here. Sometimes it is like high school with the stuck up b!tches picking and poking at the not so perfect."


Please stop with the vile name-calling on this useless tripe thread. The POF Forums are educational for many people, but are NOT here for the few inconsiderate posters who indulge in juvenile high school faceplant harassment or defamatory name-calling or trolling.
Please stop with immediate posting reflexive emotional responses to perceived "challengers or enemies" online. Sit and think a few minutes, count to twenty. When you finally do post something, it will be more thoughtful and less likely to be personally damaging.
Especially do NOT respond to the few obvious trolls that appear here from time to time. THAT immediate emotional response is what they seek, they live for in their lonely life.

IF we do not maintain some civility and Forum decorum, some of these threads or even the whole valuable open Forums might be deleted and not accessible anymore if they can't be managed properly.

S
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 57
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:33:24 AM
How old are you Halcyon????
And still in high school? Because THAT is how you are acting.
I thought you were a lady

Careful HS, everyone is watching, reading.



Back to the Topic;

[Maybe a large pool of acquaintances would be a good environment where to find friends...]


Well THERE'S a thought!!!! LOL
^^^
Isn't it!!!!
That's a great thought. Will keep this in mind :)
No high school stuff please
So far so good. It's rarely in my life and I'd like to keep it that way
 Following_Up
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 58
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:38:37 AM

I'm with several other posters here in that I don't think that having a hundred "friends" on Facebook is any measure of anything more than having a hundred friends on Facebook....lol


And Dee, when any of those FB "friends" are the total Pain in the *ss types that post and post and post it is the worst, isn't it? LOL. Just jumped on here to make fun of myself (and to try to make Dee smile) people.

And YIKES! whew. What on earth did you all do to each other for such nastiness? Some of you folks have more conflict in a given week in these forums than I have in a year. I guess some folks do like "The Real Housewives of XX" shows (not that I've ever watched a full episode but my best guess based on commercials is that mainly these women snipe at each other and people enjoy that?)

Back to Dee's post:


While social activities can be fun and it's important to have a variety of relationships in your Life, for myself, I have learned that to have even ONE really good FRIEND, is worth a 1000 acquaintances, and if you DO have even one, you should consider yourself lucky!!!


I spent my late 20's, all of my 30's and a big chunk of my 40's being married to an active duty guy. Moving around every couple of years (and not living on bases, so no built in social structure). I started over socially quite a few times and for a couple of those moves I worked from home so no adult workplace. Let me tell you - when you go out to the store (or where-ever) and know that there is ZERO chance you'll run into anyone you know? While a real friend is gold, I came to REALLY appreciate the luxury of even having friendly acquaintances!
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 59
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:47:59 AM
Here we go...

No one is perfect, we all prob do some level of gossip.

Not saying anything specific about anyone just my observations....

Some people do get mean, unprovoked, others when provoked.

I've said b4, I don't care what people really look like per se, but when they post stories about their personal lives asking for input, get input & comments are made (sometimes positive) based on their appearance & in relation to the story, then later we find that they r not quite who they say they are...

And on top of that get mean to the person who was making a kind statement...

We all have flaws, some are alpha females, some are beta & then u have in the middle type.

And there is all kinds of gossip.

There are people in here who have confided to me via email or on the phone. I don't share that.

If you post something openly, than this is different.

I don't want to stir the pot. But I am gonna say something & try to make it general.

We have at least one POF couple who recently got married. She quietly came on the forums w/ lovely wedding pix posted & very humbly mentioned her marriage. Respectful, gentle. I hope to learn from that lady. Very classy.

There have been times in my life where I was alone, not that often, but even a Holiday where I wasn't alone, perhaps like NYE. Auld Lang Syne. We recall our previous relationships. I put myself in the shoes of another person in the forums, & though that person seems happy, well-adjusted & outgoing, I felt a pang- it was almost painful for me to imagine what she had been through.

Then I saw a mean comment directed at that person that was not necessary. It hurt as though it was directed at me, cuz I've been there.

If someone has (& I need to remember my own words, moving forward) a joyful, positive experience in their life, like a marriage, a grandchild, a new home or job, a new relationship or commitment, can't they just share it & wish others the same? We all have a right to be happy.

I am at the point on the forums where I almost feel like I cannot share about anything good in my life because some people may shoot it down, even if I don't take a shot at someone else while sharing.

I don't want to be specific because then I will just be hypocritical.
I am done, I don't want to be mean, petty, gossipy, etc. but I cannot stand seeing anyone, myself included, bullied, either online or IRL. I am going to try not to participate, but I don't always succeed.

I think it is the inherent nature of women, due to evolutionary & biological reasons to have some level of competitiveness & cattiness, but I want to try to get away from it, esp. now that I am older.

I hope something makes sense to one person, LoL
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 60
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:48:52 AM

It takes one to know one, and no woman here is a bigger one than you. It's no wonder you've been banned repeatedly. I don't think I've ever been called the "C" word by another woman, but you managed to do it at least three times. Want to try for a fourth?


You know why I've been given posting restrictions? Because people like you dish it out and when it's thrown back at you, you can't take it so you report - as the saying goes, at least have the balls to handle it instead of being a princess cry baby. And if someone called you the C word, you probably deserved it because its not a word that is thrown around lightly...so if the shoe fits. And at times, it fit you. Like now...what is the point of bashing Blonde Angel...again. If you don't like her, ignore her. You are quick to tell the world what a perfect person you are and what a perfect life you had...Cartier watch and all (which was so pathetic) why are you here - it ain't for your sage advice.

And I fully admitted to being a b!tch while standing up to the likes of you. That's why I have friends, they like the fact that I don't ignore stuff and call it as I see it and stand up for them. What is the point of purposefully coming on this thread and bashing her....twice. You didn't add anything to the thread - just bashed. I let the first one go, even let msg. 21 go so what was the point of a second bash? You were just being a b!tch, plain and simple.
 Following_Up
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 61
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:00:28 AM

I think it is the inherent nature of women, due to evolutionary & biological reasons to have some level of competitiveness & cattiness, but I want to try to get away from it, esp. now that I am older.


As I often think, I am an oddball but I have NOT experienced this in my life.

In addition to male friends, I've had plenty of wonderful female friends, friendly acquaintances, co-workers. I have not been exposed to the type of behavior that I see mentioned (or exhibited) here on the forums. As I mentioned above, it reminds me of those 'Real Housewives" shows which I don't watch or understand. Honestly I thought a lot of that behavior was just for show. Who lives like that? Who would want to?

I'm a woman who dislikes conflict, who enjoys getting along with people, so I don't think it's in MY inherent nature at all, oddball that I am! Today I'm thankful to be that oddball :)
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 62
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:09:58 AM

I'm a woman who dislikes conflict,

who enjoys getting along with people

That is truly a lovely thing to say :0)

BUT...
My parents grew up in Nazi occupied Europe...should they have enjoyed getting along w/ Nazis?

I've heard racist comments being made, should I try to get along w/ that?

I get what you say, you want things to be positive, but when put in situations not of your choosing & things are WRONG, keeping your mouth shut, people pleasing, etc. is wrong

I am glad you have had such positive experiences in your life. But some of us have had a different life & need to follow our path, not someone else's path.
 nocrapzone
Joined: 1/10/2015
Msg: 63
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:11:44 AM
some people want a cookie because they can be "friends" with people lower on the socioeconomic scale than themselves?

sooo "BIG" of them, it's a status symbol to brag about how open-minded and "liberal" they are..even accept dumb uneducated hicks into their circles of friends..

it's the new "take up the white man's burden"

for today's liberal set
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 64
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:13:40 AM
And Dee, when any of those FB "friends" are the total Pain in the *ss types that post and post and post it is the worst, isn't it?


^^^
My only gripe with my small group of fb friends is not when they talk about their lives in a dramatic fashion. I actually let that be because I recognize they are just being themselves needing to use FB as a tool to reach out and vent,whine, whatever to whoever will listen. Usually when they do, its done only until their feeling is resolved. It isn't constant. And there is no gossip.
Maybe its due to the type of fb friends I have?
The constant posting, there is one that does. .. he's NOT who you would expect to do this but... ya, its a bit much. Im always happy when he goes to work or sleep lol.
My only gripe is when constant inspirational crap is posted.. over and over... and over again.
Its too much kumbaya for me. This I would say is abnormal
Do they not see that their dog shyt on their carpet, boss wants them to work overtime for lil pay, kids are acting up and the car won't start ...oh but they are posting pics of kittens running through a meadow.
WTF?!!!
I unfollow those posts
 Following_Up
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 65
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:22:19 AM

I am glad you have had such positive experiences in your life. But some of us have had a different life & need to follow our path, not someone else's path.


Concur completely. We've all had different experiences and those shape who we are and how we handle things. I was just offering a COUNTER to your statement that it's inherent 'for women' to be catty/competitive. I am female and I know plenty of women who are great.

I don't see my way as an absolute. If I come across that way, it's NOT my intent (in fact it's opposite of my intent). When I do post on here it is MOST often as a counter to what people of both genders say IS some hard and fast rule that 'everyone' should follow. One size does not fit all when it comes to people. And I seem to be the non-norm but I do not believe I'm the ONLY person who is either.

As for racists or the Nazi's - of course, those are reasons to stand up. I don't just sit by smiling when people around me make racist (or sexist!) comments. But it seems like the nastiness around here (in this discussion at least) hasn't really been in that realm.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 66
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:23:21 AM
Everyone I know has oodles of FB friends
I have 22.
Anyone wanna friend me?
Charming - simply post back what you had for breakfast, do it daily.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 67
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:31:30 AM

You know why I've been given posting restrictions? Because people like you dish it out and when it's thrown back at you, you can't take it so you report - as the saying goes, at least have the balls to handle it instead of being a princess cry baby. And if someone called you the C word, you probably deserved it because its not a word that is thrown around lightly...so if the shoe fits.


There is no one here more deserving of that name than you, my dear. You were being given lifetime bans by the mods long before I ever came onto the scene, so don't go blaming my reporting you for your getting those bans. Is it so inconceivable that I wasn't the only poster reporting you?

You were banned because of your vicious use of foul, gutter-level language and flaming other posters. I've seen you in action, not only towards me, but towards others. You accused another female poster of being a tranny simply because you didn't agree with her post. You told yet another poster she had a saggy neck and you didn't like looking up her nostrils.


Like now...what is the point of bashing Blonde Angel...again. If you don't like her, ignore her. You are quick to tell the world what a perfect person you are and what a perfect life you had...Cartier watch and all (which was so pathetic) why are you here - it ain't for your sage advice.


I was simply stating the facts, ma'am. You and her other minions reap what you sow. As far as the watch goes, as I recall, the thread topic was about what people did or received from Santa for Christmas. One poster got engaged. I received a Cartier watch. I never once stated I had a perfect life. Those are your words, not mine. Why do you have such an issue with my life or what I got for Christmas, anyway? I smell green.
 nocrapzone
Joined: 1/10/2015
Msg: 68
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:37:04 AM
Love these FORUMS! I feel so much younger in these forums,

in fact the way many of these 50 or 60 year old women act, it's just like being in Grade 9, high school again! :)

maybe even more like Grade 7 or 8 :)
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 69
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:49:42 AM

Love these FORUMS! I feel so much younger in these forums,

in fact the way many of these 50 or 60 year old women act, it's just like being in Grade 9, high school again! :)

maybe even more like Grade 7 or 8 :)

LoL your username suggests Daycare & Pampers, Luvs or Huggies ;0D
when u r potty trained, come back...
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 70
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:01:32 AM
People talking about different social groups has me thinking about rejoining the USCF ( United States Chess Federation ) .
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 71
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:04:29 AM
Nope, never given a lifetime ban so I don't know where you got that information. I've had bans, many, 3 days, 10 days, etc. and I've taken them. So what. And I wasn't here all that much longer than you, maybe by a year or so and I've also taken time off, on my own accord I might add. As to "seeing you in action", well, you have a good reputation for that as well...you just got poked by Hawking yesterday for your posts. I'm sure you've called more posters to task than I have so don't go playing the princess card. I've seen you go for pages against others. As to the Cartier watch comment - it was totally "look at me" nothing more, nothing less and you got called out on it too. It made you look childish, it was actually comical.

I fully admit that I call it as I see it, like today. You had your slam on Blonde last night but did you let it go..no, you had to poke again today. Why? Did it make you feel better? Superior? It did make you look like a b!tch. And when I stick up for someone it is not because I am her/their minion. Don't read her posts or threads she starts which seems easy enough to do. This isn't life or death stuff. When you poke once, okay...go for it. Twice or more, you're fair game. As to smelling green, why do you always go there? Self esteem issues? You have no idea what I or anyone else has/owns/does on here. I, and others, have no need to post what we have, what we own, who has more net worth, blah, blah, blah. Pathetic. You have no idea what I and others do with our lives, you may have an idea but you don't know for sure, for example, you mentioned you used to be a sky waitress in the 80's...after that, who know, who cares. The thing about being on here, we can be who ever we want to be.

If you slam, you'll get slammed back by someone. If you can give it, you should be prepared to take it.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 72
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:11:11 AM
The key mistake people make when assuming life or people or behaviors are 'normal' or 'average' is that they base it pretty much on their OWN life experiences alone. It's probably human nature to start comprehending the world starting from within your own skin or social space, but I would hope over time people would retain some of the life lessons taught elsewhere and learn something from other peoples' experiences to realize we are NOT the collective center of the universe. We can't all be living at 'ground' level.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 73
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:25:04 AM
the rub is and i quote a snip poster #62:
The POF Forums are educational for many people, but are NOT here for the few inconsiderate posters who indulge in juvenile high school faceplant harassment or defamatory name-calling or trolling.


what exactly is educational about endless posts and threads created by a fantasist? you called this thread tripe
and yet you chastise anyone for pointing out that not only is it tripe, it's inconsistent tripe, if someone continually creates fantasy posts with self conflicting information then do so in the creative writing arena or go blog it . .

that should should have been your advice since you have taken on some kinda mantle of being a mod


as for normal, it's just a setting on a washing machine
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 74
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:41:21 AM

Posted by Tall_IQ2:
"Please stop with the vile name-calling on this useless tripe thread. The POF Forums are educational for many people, but are NOT here for the few inconsiderate posters who indulge in juvenile high school faceplant harassment or defamatory name-calling or trolling.

IF we do not maintain some civility and Forum decorum, some of these threads or even the whole valuable open Forums might be deleted and not accessible anymore if they can't be managed properly.

Very insightful and meaningful post. That was typical on POF Forums a few years back.
You make complete sense with your rational and calm message, Tall_IQ2.

It inspires me to think...can we all get along?
Can we stop making it horrible for the older people and the kids?
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 75
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:51:08 AM
Normal IS just a setting on the washing machine. :-)

The threads sort themselves out, they haven't gone to hell since there were no mods. The odd pokes here and there and then it settles down. And new threads get voted off with regularity and some stay.

As to "educational", boy, I can't say they are educational. An eye opener, yes. They are pure entertainment and if they are taken as anything more than entertainment, that's a problem.
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