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 AUTHOR
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 76
NORMALPage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Can we stop making it horrible for the older people and the kids?


Again, Eric?

Yeah, I just wonder why the folks creating all this intrigue are here and continue to post, some of them for long periods of time.

Back to profile reviews for me. I can't spend more than a few minutes in the matrix at a time. We older people just can't handle it.

I'll be back, though.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 77
view profile
History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:54:53 AM

And Dee, when any of those FB "friends" are the total Pain in the *ss types that post and post and post it is the worst, isn't it? LOL. Just jumped on here to make fun of myself (and to try to make Dee smile) people.


I DID smile and NO you are NOT a "total pain in the ass type" who posts endlessly!!! LOL
But that's ok...even if you DID, I enjoy seeing pics of other folks having a LIFE, lol and even enjoy looking at photos of people I don't know, weird, I know...but hey, that's just me.....


I think it is the inherent nature of women, due to evolutionary & biological reasons to have some level of competitiveness & cattiness, but I want to try to get away from it, esp. now that I am older.


Have to disagree on this one Blonde.....
I have rarely if EVER run across "cattiness" and/or "competitiveness" in other women in my Life and I personally believe that's a myth perpetuated by guys who are afraid of women being friends with each other....Or women who are insecure themselves, NOT saying that YOU are, btw....
But it's an "easy" mentality to fall into, as evidenced by those "Real Housewives" shows...as IF...

I have only "checked it out" to see what the fuss is all about and personally don't know ANY women like that, and thank the powers-that-be for THAT!!!! LMAO Please tell me that they're NOT hyper-dramatizing for the cameras and with the idea in mind of creating their own "brand" ultimately....I mean, gimme a BREAK!!!!!lol Of COURSE they are!!! Because if NOT, then they are truly certifiable and I can't imagine anyone finding that entertaining...it would just be very, very sad imo...but hey, different strokes, as they say....After all, I'm STILL reeling from the popularity of "Here comes Honey-Boo-Boo"!!!! lol
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 78
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:08:35 AM
Ty again. It is very cold out & I recently got over the flu, so I decided I am staying in 2nite, which is OK as I have weekend plans + plans for next week. :0D

Should I go back to the group w/ the Alpha, I am not participating in her game. I'm an adult, no one has the right to tell me where to sit or question me about not eating (fattening foods) or drinking. (alcohol) I will sit there w/ my diet ice tea & engage in pleasant, superficial conversation w/ any beta or maverick types.

When I engage in said behavior, that is what triggers the Alpha. As VK said at the beginning, it drives them crazy.

I can only change myself, not other people.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 79
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:09:34 AM
"I think it is the inherent nature of women, due to evolutionary & biological reasons to have some level of competitiveness & cattiness"

There is some truth in this.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 80
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:20:45 AM

I have rarely if EVER run across "cattiness" and/or "competitiveness" in other women in my Life and I personally believe that's a myth perpetuated by guys who are afraid of women being friends with each other....Or women who are insecure themselves, NOT saying that YOU are, btw....
But it's an "easy" mentality to fall into, as evidenced by those "Real Housewives" shows...as IF...

You can call me a snoop for listening on conversations or berate me for violating privacy through some bizarre method - but as a guy who goes out regularly and sits quietly by himself reading a book, I cannot help but overhear conversations frequently.

It really shocks me how much 'cattiness' I hear from women - and it truly doesn't matter what size group or age demographic. A mother and teenage daughter or even a couple elderly grandmas, all the way up to a large birthday group of 12 of more - even well-respected people from my church - they all get into 'moods' where the cut mercilessly into other people for their looks, behaviors, or rumors. The only common factor is that there is ONLY women present. If a man is in the group, or even a young boy - the 'halos' stay on and tight. Even when a male server comes by, they clam up quiet. That's also what I consider amazing - how quickly that 'gossip' switch gets turned on and off. The only time most people notice that behavior is after several glasses of wine when people don't know or care to control their volume.

Guys are by no means innocent of the same kind of trash talking, I just don't think men are so quick to start talking, or talk as often. Guys don't have nearly the same discretion with their 'filters,' either - so it's easier to catch them saying the wrong thing - that gossip 'switch' doesn't toggle 'on' and 'off' nearly as quickly - it's more like a slow dimmer switch.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 81
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:50:12 AM
Sweet_Danimal:
Guys are by no means innocent of the same kind of trash talking.

Like I said earlier, I hate gossip. I refuse to gossip. My ex-husband grew up in Wenatchee, and had a tight group of male tennis buddies in the Wenatchee Racquet and Athletic Club. Gossip, gossip, gossip. "You're nothing but a bunch of old hens!" I said, walking past these guys. These men enjoyed gossiping about other tennis players.

I believe gossip is endemic of small towns because people don't have enough to do. Small towns lack the extensive cultural activities and events of large cities. These people grew up together. Familiarity breeds contempt.
 OtisGreening
Joined: 12/8/2014
Msg: 82
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:51:36 AM
I find it sad when women talk shit about and are unwilling to trust each other. But that's their problem/doing. If there are women who can have functional, caring friendships with other women, then what's preventing you from doing that? How about picking and choosing friends better? It's especially grating to hear women talk shit about other women and call them "mistrustful" because that just reeks of self-loathing. "I don't like women"....so you don't like yourself? Hmmm....I'm not going to try and be friends with a person like that. Thanks for letting me know.

When women consider other women untrustworthy, I have to ask, "What about you is distrustful?"
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 83
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:52:40 AM
There are certain types of females, concerned with social standing and social status, who get into backstabbing and cattiness and labeling. Where I used to work, there was a nearly all-female dept. and brother, that place had YEARS of drama. Those not interested in the tattle-tailing behind backs and the snideness done face to face, simply quit or transfered out. Those who lived that way...stayed where they were comfortable, even when they had their moments of being the target, not the instigator.

A friend of mine works with men in corrections who, ironically, are described as "acting like schoolgirls" for the drama they create. Is it possible that generally, men act a bit more "lone wolf" and worry less about "getting along in the hierarchy" while women generally worry more about their "place in the pecking order"? If so, then perhaps a person worried about their place in line tends towards cattiness and competitiveness, in order to insure their place in line?

I don't think this has to automatically be a characteristic of the "hard" or the "soft" gender, the yin or the yang, or men or women...I think both can act based on what they want in life, and can cure such a shortcoming by realizing they are aiming for a goal, and perhaps conducting themselves in a poor way in an attempt to get a goal that...well, may not matter all that much in the first place.

As for "normal", yeah, everyone's got their own definition of it. We gravitate towards who makes us feel comfortable. I've met plenty of people who give a lot of lip service to living a classy life, but when push comes to shove, they fold like a cheap suit. I've met weirdos who are loyal, and earthy hippies who weren't uptight, and suit and tie guys who could screw you after they bought you your favorite drink. Everyone needs a chance to prove themselves, and as I said before, don't risk more rope for them to hang themselves, then you can afford to lose around their necks.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 84
view profile
History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 11:03:05 AM
@danimal...nope no berating or name-calling.....

I guess I don't necessarily put gossiping into the same category as cattiness and competitiveness among women....Yes there ARE a LOT of gossips out there, but I think to SOME extent at least, it's normal for humans to talk about each other, form "alliances" in groups etc and not necessarily "exclusive" to women, as you yourself said....
I have OFTEN seen and been privy to conversations with various groups of men, some my brother and friends, when I was out of sight around a corner....lol
Man, they went AT it, and talked about EVERYONE without exception....lol
Even when I worked in the prisons, actually ESPECIALLY there, there were ONLY men, and gossip was the LIFE BLOOD of that place...lol

No, what I'm talking about is that "competitiveness" that women get accused of SO often...and guess what the "competition" is about?
Men!!!
So, to whose advantage is it that women believe in "competitiveness" among women?
Apparently NOT the women's, right?
I have personally NEVER and I mean NEVER competed with ANY woman ANYWHERE, any how, ANY time, for ANY man's attention, and NEVER will.....

The way I see it, it's NOT worth losing a good friend over a guy, and it's demeaning for the women doing it...although the guy would SURELY get the best of both worlds if they DID compete, no?

I'm NOT saying that men are responsible for that...but women are generally ENCOURAGED to put their self-worth and self-esteem into the hands of men, and if you're determining your personal "value" based on that, wouldn't you be fiercely "competing" as well????

While I do understand it, I don't accept women like that into my Life, as they usually end up being more trouble than they're worth....
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 85
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 11:14:16 AM

"I think it is the inherent nature of women, due to evolutionary & biological reasons to have some level of competitiveness & cattiness"

There is some truth in this.

TY & I did say "some level" ;0)

You can call me a snoop for listening on conversations or berate me for violating privacy through some bizarre method - but as a guy who goes out regularly and sits quietly by himself reading a book, I cannot help but overhear conversations frequently.

It really shocks me how much 'cattiness' I hear from women - and it truly doesn't matter what size group or age demographic. A mother and teenage daughter or even a couple elderly grandmas, all the way up to a large birthday group of 12 of more - even well-respected people from my church - they all get into 'moods' where the cut mercilessly into other people for their looks, behaviors, or rumors. The only common factor is that there is ONLY women present. If a man is in the group, or even a young boy - the 'halos' stay on and tight. Even when a male server comes by, they clam up quiet. That's also what I consider amazing - how quickly that 'gossip' switch gets turned on and off. The only time most people notice that behavior is after several glasses of wine when people don't know or care to control their volume.

You just hit the nail on the head- I wasn't drinking alcohol & some were...the liquor is "dis-inhibition-ing" them...

"You're nothing but a bunch of old hens!"

spot on!

I believe gossip is endemic of small towns because people don't have enough to do. Small towns lack the extensive cultural activities and events of large cities. These people grew up together. Familiarity breeds contempt.
I agree w/ that statement except I live in a cultural mecca & most folks here are transplants from other areas, many from NYC. I no longer use my location on my POF profile for reasons of privacy.

How about picking and choosing friends better?

I'm very careful.

There are certain types of females, concerned with social standing and social status, who get into backstabbing and cattiness and labeling. Where I used to work, there was a nearly all-female dept. and brother, that place had YEARS of drama. Those not interested in the tattle-tailing behind backs and the snideness done face to face, simply quit or transfered out. Those who lived that way...stayed where they were comfortable, even when they had their moments of being the target, not the instigator.

I observed that in one or 2 groups, & that is why I am attending less often, & may be pulling out all together.

then perhaps a person worried about their place in line tends towards cattiness and competitiveness, in order to insure their place in line?

Yes, I once heard Alphas are really insecure & that is why they need to control.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 86
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 11:29:41 AM

Oh, drama and catfights!
Love it!
Pass me the popcorn!
:-)
I feel suddenly rejuvenated... I thought this only happened in tuenti and the teenagers´ chats or whatever they do.

munch
munch
munch


Wow. A day away from the Farm and what happens. Hell breaks lose. So.... pass me the popcorn. Here. Have a Cerveza. When is that Paella going to be ready? I like mine with some Pulpo and not too much chorizo. We should be getting to the part where the DRAMA is going to be very thick.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 87
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 11:32:19 AM

Nope, never given a lifetime ban so I don't know where you got that information. I've had bans, many, 3 days, 10 days, etc. and I've taken them. So what. And I wasn't here all that much longer than you, maybe by a year or so and I've also taken time off, on my own accord I might add. As to "seeing you in action", well, you have a good reputation for that as well...you just got poked by Hawking yesterday for your posts. I'm sure you've called more posters to task than I have so don't go playing the princess card.


Yes, you were given lifetime bans. Just because you managed to open new profiles to circumvent those bans doesn’t mean your slate was wiped clean. The fact that you repeatedly got bans, even small ones, should have told you that perhaps the problem was with *YOU* and not other posters, but nope---you learned nothing. You keep repeating the same mistakes that got you banned before. And no, I didn’t get poked by Hawking. We merely had a difference of opinion, but he stayed civil. Unlike you, he doesn’t stoop to calling someone the “C” word when he disagrees with someone’s post.


I fully admit that I call it as I see it, like today. You had your slam on Blonde last night but did you let it go..no, you had to poke again today. Why? Did it make you feel better? Superior? It did make you look like a b!tch. And when I stick up for someone it is not because I am her/their minion. Don't read her posts or threads she starts which seems easy enough to do. This isn't life or death stuff. When you poke once, okay...go for it. Twice or more, you're fair game.


Like you, I call things as I see them, and the last I heard, anyone is free to post in a thread--regardless of whether or not they agree with the OP. I observed her making hypocritical statements and it was brought to her attention. It must not have sunk in the first time, because she continued to make hypocritical statements, such as that she didn’t want gossip. Her hypocrisy was then brought to her attention a second time, but more firmly. I don’t know about others, but I don’t have a whole lot of respect for hypocrites, who lie about everything under the sun, including their profile contents, and then turn around and accuse others of dishonesty. Perhaps you’re not her minion, but you two are two peas in a pod.


As to smelling green, why do you always go there? Self esteem issues? You have no idea what I or anyone else has/owns/does on here. I, and others, have no need to post what we have, what we own, who has more net worth, blah, blah, blah. Pathetic. You have no idea what I and others do with our lives, you may have an idea but you don't know for sure, for example, you mentioned you used to be a sky waitress in the 80's...after that, who know, who cares.


No, the reason I always go there is because of your anger and jealousy issues---they’re obvious to everyone. You attack others for the most benign of reasons, e.g. calling someone a “gold digger”; and when they attempt to explain that they have their own money and have no need to go after someone else’s, you attack them for “showing off”.

No matter what someone says about themselves, you manage to find fault with it--anything from the way their S/O looks, to their former profession. Who cares? Obviously you do. You’re a miserable person, and we all know that misery loves company.


The thing about being on here, we can be who ever we want to be.


Yeppers. One can even invent friends when one actually has none.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 88
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 12:06:05 PM
Funny thing is that we all think we are the normal ones. As was stated already we compare what normal or not to how we act or what we think is normal.
I bride my self for not being normal. Not being like most people and been called weird or different. There is nothing wrong with that. I know who to enjoy my life, Been told plenty of time that its easy to relax in my company.
People are just too serious all the time and always want to judge. Be it who is normal or not, Or when someone posts about how smart they are compare to everyone else around them. I wonder how smart is that.
About women being at each other throat is seen it happen. Been also told that most of the time women dress to impress other women not men. People need to grow up, Or maybe they need to learn to look at life less jaded. As a child would see it. Some of you need to go outside and just climb a tree sit up there and enjoy life...
Well I did say I wasn't normal.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 89
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 12:25:08 PM

Like you, I call things as I see them, and the last I heard, anyone is free to post in a thread--regardless of whether or not they agree with the OP.


And that,blondie, is the crux of it. So remember that. The rest is just pap and not worth the back and forth.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 90
view profile
History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:04:27 PM
Unfortunately in America today, the norm is to be sedentary and overweight.

Fat shaming is so popular now, even the first lady does it, and to her own child, who by the way was never fat, just a growing child. Use to be thin people where the butt of jokes, you couldn't be healthy if you were so thin, but now, thin with fake boobs, over-worked abs, and often skinny legs, that is healthy. When there's a lack of food, being able to gain and hold your weight is considered healthy, when there is an abundance of food then being thin is considered healthy, even though every single size dies, and many of all different sizes die much younger than what would be thought of as normal, some die while exercising/dieting, the norm always seems to be whatever is harder to obtain given the environment and economy. The fact is, normal body size would be what you are without added or taken-away outside influences. What's my point, well there's being tired of people thinking fat people eat more doughnuts than lettuce, or right now I guess it's kale, or that being thin is the product of intense moral, wholesome ethics that are lacking in those who do not look like you, whomever you may be. But mostly, it's the idea that you are ideal, while others you don't happen to like, must be abnormal. Do other people really have to be like you or can you see that there's a world full of totally different people who just fine as they are? What's normal to you usually depends on how well you can see past your own nose.

Skin color, eye color, income, looks, temperament, family line, class, body size, education, experience, country...what's normal would usually be what's the majority, and that's going to change depending on where you are, who you are talking to, and how biased the study was. What's funny about using the old lame cliche of of now-a-days, is that it's been said forever, under all kinds of conditions, and really has no worthwhile meaning. It's almost always used to defend our own personal prejudices.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 91
view profile
History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:09:41 PM

Some of you need to go outside and just climb a tree sit up there and enjoy life...
Well I did say I wasn't normal.

For myself it's the Nature preserve by my house.....I go and sit by the water and just chiiiillllllllll.....
Watch the geese when they're passing through, or deer or other wildlife...slows it ALL down and gives me some perspective...

And there;s nothing weird about climbing a tree there, LA...nothing weird at ALL...;-)
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 92
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:20:44 PM
"Unfortunately in America today, the norm is to be sedentary and overweight."

So true. "Sedentary" being the key word. I don't see the above statement as being "fat shaming." It's based on the truth. Most of us sit in offices all day at a computer, barely getting up out of the chair, and consuming the same amount of calories a hunter/gatherer would have burned thru by walking all day long.

I am a big advocate of getting out and exercising, up out of the chair and moving. Coupled with enlightened eating habits.

It's pretty common sense and is an observation about the general overall health and fitness of Americans, not something that has it's roots in some sort of racial, bigoted, intolerant rhetoric.

Next we will be calling doctors intolerant bigots because they ask us to diet and take care of ourselves.

 Following_Up
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 93
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:49:25 PM

I don't see the above statement as being "fat shaming."


Except that it was in the context of this poster speaking about herself and her hiking friends. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks there appears to be a superiority complex going on at times? .

I mean, we get it: HIKING is important to this poster, it's in sooo many posts, it's in her user name.

I happen to be a runner who came relatively late to the game of doing races of 10 miles or greater. I'm training now to do my 12th race of this distance in the past 4 years. It's been great for me and I mostly love it - the training AND the events. It does take up a lot of my time but I don't make a requirement that my friends or the men I date run road races. I don't think I'm superior to anyone who can't or chooses not to run those kind of distances. I don't mention it in nearly every comment I have on a wide variety of subjects.

I do think we are desk bound society (as I sit and wait for some code to run). Movement is wonderful. It's good for the mind and body. Healthy eating as well. I feel very lucky to have the health I do and I am bound and determined to continue to leverage that luck.

But there is a way to say things and there is a way to say things.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 94
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:00:38 PM
Point taken-in this case, it was interpreted as a jab because it has come from a poster whom, to some, has had a history of coming off as elitist and condescending repeatedly.

Context, baby!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 95
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:04:55 PM
Hardly all Hell breaking loose IG LOL. Heck breaking loose, maybe but I expect more from Hades :/
If you are normal I think you treat people as they treat you. Works well for me - altho some people are sleeping with one eye open now. Can't always wait for Karma.
I guess I've had people be catty to me - but it swooshes over my head.
There is a Womens group here I think I will go and see what they are like - can always use more GFs
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 96
view profile
History
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:09:29 PM

The rest is just pap and not worth the back and forth

A pap is just a smear

Finding "normal" people anymore is like finding a needle in a haystack.

Normal is just a city in Illinois near Bloomington. Try google map
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 97
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:16:54 PM

Everyone I know has oodles of FB friends
I have 22.
Anyone wanna friend me?


Yes ouija! I would friend you!!! I'm not on too often, but At least I could see if you are as cute in the rest of your pictures. :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 98
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 2:40:35 PM
And you could see all my vulgar posts lol There is only a picture of Lily. I do better in front of an etch o sketch than a camera. Doubt any country would allow me entry based on the passport photo. *shudder*
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 99
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 4:27:03 PM

But there is a way to say things and there is a way to say things.


^^^ You gals got it tough....especially those who are introvert, are loners, with few good friends, few family etc, etc etc.... as that is the" True needle in the Haystack here !"
Sorry as their questions would be very hard to answer, imo due to that...
.lets hope they can see....or meditate to feel serenity in their life....
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 100
NORMAL
Posted: 1/29/2015 4:51:40 PM
Normal is a silly concept.

It's also the reason, I believe, that the divorce rate is so high (in the US, at least). Because, once you get there, all of the fun is bled out of you and you've put so much effort into being whatever picture of normalcy you have your head that you've forgotten who you were when you started.

As to finding normal friends...maybe I'm the odd man out here, but I don't look for "normal" friends. Hell, I don't really look for shared interests, either. A lot of my current friends are...circumstantial. As in, extraordinary circumstances lead one of us to follow the other. Most of the female friends I have are previous romantic experiences, but I'm sure there are 1 or 2 that aren't...

I don't envy women, as I believe their experience with "friends" is...generally unpleasant.

Guys are simple. Though it does depend on age. IME, younger guys like to fight, older guys like to talk.

I don't really ever see "large" groups of females hanging out together. 1-3. Maybe. My GF says it's because she can only tolerate women for so long before she needs a break from them. Even her alleged BFF doesn't hang around very long (I only know her first name). Whereas, MY best friend is almost a member of the family.
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