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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship      Home login  
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 Gazzer92
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 101
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationshipPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Men seem to prefer the women who they can provide for. Not sure if thats just my perception but thats how it feels to me.

It's in our DNA that's why. We want to feel like we are the protectors who can support our women. Of course that's all gone now but that's the way it used to be. God I wish I was born in another era at times, nevermind. ;)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 102
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 1:27:36 PM
A healthy attitude about whatever happens online is that it holds no consequences. People over the internet can pretend to be anyone, and want anyone - there's really no rules, aside from whatever POF has declared in the User Agreement. So whatever happens in here means nothing. It's a video game. People can 'play' as much or as little as they want. Doesn't matter what your gender or goals or whatever self-image you carry of yourself or the attitude you carry about everyone else. You can be as opinionated or ignorant as you want.

Real life is what matters. Real life is where lies hurt and dishonesty erodes trust. Real life is where dating and Love happens. Real life is where you prove yourself worthy. Real life is where actions mean more than words. Do yourself a favor and stop expecting people to be the same out there as they are in here - because it WILL NOT happen. Once you get past that revelation, coping with online behavior is a helluva lot easier to understand and tolerate.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 103
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 1:37:39 PM
Gazzer92's stated age on his profile is 22.

How have you been divorced for 22 years at such a tender age, Gazzer92?
 Gazzer92
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 104
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 1:48:22 PM

Haha well I wish I was your age, damn Id have fun! If it helps any, I think there is still a need for men to be protectors. I often feel vulnerable being single. A big bit of me wishes I could just relax and let a man support me and protect me. Its just the bit where he starts talking to me like Im stupid then a whole big bit of me goes 'hang on, I can do things ya know!'.
Yeah I don't agree with controlling behaviour or treating women like babys, maybe some men act that way thinking women are inferior but that's not true. Being a protector means loving, cherishing and making sure no harm ever comes to the person you love. When a man loves a woman that's his desire. Now i'm off to listen to when a man loves a woman by percy sledge. :p
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 105
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 1:48:29 PM
^^^^^^^ “Gazzer” quoted Demidar, Msg. 32 without using quotes or attributing it to him.

Gazzer’s response clearly agrees with what he didn’t bother to quote.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 106
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 2:01:08 PM
CuriousDB: It's another move to exclude certain (unavailable) women from public spaces by way of restricting their autonomous expressions. Unless they're available to the self-entitled, they have no business being around.


Two days ago I had a user hammering me with messages, question after question, about why I'm here. I answered a few and then told him it is all in my profile (and it is). When he wrote again asking if "one man isn't enough" and "you're rude for not answering", I blocked him.


This is well exampled by the poster, below:


Why are you here then if one's enough? For most women today it seems to be 4 or 5 is enough not 1.


The answer is still NO .
 Fiftyplusone
Joined: 3/14/2014
Msg: 107
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 6:10:57 PM
You're fooling yourself. You're looking. It's a message board. I have just as much right to disagree with what you seem to want to deny. You're looking.
 Fiftyplusone
Joined: 3/14/2014
Msg: 108
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 6:21:04 PM
Dragon

I've seen pictures of Ministers, Presidents, Doctors, and Lawyers who project the same image you have here. Maybe you're not on here to cheat but I can assure you there are those on here with a picture of their family, the dog and the white picket fence on here to cheat.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 109
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/20/2015 7:19:45 PM

I dont consider myself a feminist in so much as I like men, I enjoy men and I like being around men. I dont consider myself better or in charge and nor do I want to be.


Wow!!!

Ok then....Seems like there's a LOT of prejudice and confusion surrounding the word "feminism"...

Understandable (somewhat) in men, but in a WOMAN living in 2015????

Here is the ACTUAL definition....

"Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women.[1][2] This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

A feminist generally self-defines as advocating for or supporting the rights and equality of women"

(You can find that yourself by going onto the net and plugging in "feminist" in ANY search engine.)

Feminists do NOT "hate men", are NOT "all dykes" and do NOT wish to "eliminate the place of men in the world" in ANY way, shape or form, nor do they make claims of "being better" or want to be "in charge".
Feminists don't want to be "like men" or act like men, and are women that you probably know and admire and love and respect.
Feminists are NOT even necessarily WOMEN, but can be MEN, believe it or not!!

For all of you men who were raised by strong female role models who worked and supported you and tried to give you the best Life possible, often without the assistance of a male figure in the picture, and for all of you women who enjoy having your own bank account and the right to own property and drive a car and sign ANY legal documents that will be binding,
never mind the choice to NOT remain in abusive relationships, you can thank a feminist for that....

The extremists of ANY group can end up representative of an entire ideology simply because they make the most 'noise'...
Only someone who doesn't engage in critical thinking is foolish enough to make that assumption...

Remember the tale of the blind men and the elephant....A narrow view is no way to "see" the whole picture....

Rant over....

Frankly don't give a flying fvck who is on here... or whether or not they're in a relationship...None of my business what they choose to do...
It doesn't affect me or my Life in any way, so why WOULD I care???? Wish more people thought like that....
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 110
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 12:02:34 AM
Eureka! "SO" means "significant other"! This whole time I was thinking "sex offender". Weird, I was thinking.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 111
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 3:10:14 AM
Well Vicki you are free to "disagree" all that you like and it STILL doesn't change the definition of a feminist.

Oh! And btw...you can ALSO thank those "domineering feminists" for the fact that you ARE free to disagree with ANYTHING....

Ever even been to a feminist activity of ANY kind? Ever marched in the streets for a woman's right to do ANYTHING?
Do you even KNOW anything about the movement that you seem to know enough about to disparage the ENTIRE thing based on a few "bad apples"???

I'm thinking NOT....

No, much better that we have a watered down version of "feminism" that's more "palatable" to the masses and if it's spearheaded by an attractive actress, so much the BETTER, right?
Because as we ALL know, actors and actresses are "qualified" for politics and to be ambassadors to other countries, based on NOTHING more than that they are FAMOUS, so why not be the "new face of feminism", right?

Oh and just for the record...if you actually READ the definition then you would know that EQUALITY is what feminists want as well, whether YOU think so or not....This is NOT subjective, any more than the fact that the sky is BLUE, is subjective.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 112
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 3:12:26 AM
Why are we attacking feminism here Just wondering?

Feminism has done a lot of good things for women.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 113
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 3:26:45 AM
Not attacking it Aradia...just trying to explain that the few nutjobs who claim to be "feminists" are NOT representative of the entire movement as it seems so many people would like to believe.

Anymore than the few crazies who flew PLANES into the Twin Towers are representative of ALL Muslims....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 114
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 4:15:06 AM
Considering that you've acknowledged that you've never been involved in the movement, your views are based on supposition and what you've heard in the media as are most people's.
I would REALLY love to know what actual examples of this domineering, radical feminism that you can produce?
As far as men "helping women", guess you MISSED the part where I said that there are male feminists as well...

And what happened to all of those women when the War was over? Do you know?
They were summarily FIRED so that the jobs could be given back to MEN...Nice "equality" there....
Guess "leading by example" didn't really register for men, or create anything more than a temporary and expendable workforce with "rights" that were only a step above those of a slave.

As far as "getting my head out of the past"...well I live in 2015 and am STILL seeing women being killed and raped and given a "female circumcision" as well as attempts by various governments in subtle and NOT so subtle ways to undermine what "rights" women have now....in order to send us back to a world of subjugation, and less choice where men are once again, firmly in "control"...
Again, as far as feminists just "shouting" about it rather than getting out and DOING it....Well, one more time, it appears that if you have never been involved in the movement, then I guess you wouldn't really KNOW what they "do" or not, right?
Also, once again, YOU would NOT be here posting on this board and neither would I if they weren't actually "DOING anything".
Do you know how legislation is both enacted and changed? That would be by people getting out and creating awareness and also lobbying to have changes made in existing legislation.
Again, as far as not "acknowledging or respecting" contributions made by women that are living and working in the world today...Just curious....who EXACTLY gave you and your mother for that matter, that opportunity in the first place???
I suppose that must have been all of those men who were SO eager to have women out there in the world competing for 'THEIR' jobs, right?
And I hate to tell you that if you believe in equal rights for both men and women, then YOU are a feminist as well, no NEED to "identify", regardless of how you choose to express that.
Anyway,you are entitled to think and believe anything that you want...It might behoove you however, to actually have some REAL knowledge about the subject aside from whatever current popular opinions bandied about in the media that you're being fed, before labeling and dismissing it out of hand....jmo
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 115
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 4:23:31 AM
A lot of men don't pay child support - I'd think that is in no way the woman's fault for him not supporting a child.

America has really high rates of fatherlessness. Something is telling me these men weren't actually trying to be involved, more like they ran for the hills as far away as they could.

Even the guy I dated for a few weeks told me he would ditch me if I got pregnant and wouldn't support the child - that is the kind of mentality there is these days among young men.
 Gazzer92
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 116
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 4:29:15 AM

I disagree with you Dee. I think a lot of feminists do hate men and do try to be the dominate sex thats why I would never be one. I did a thread on something similar called Emma Watsons UN speach - heforshe. Its an eqaulity movement but its moving away from the Feminism title or association for just that reason.



That certainly seems to be the case for the women of my generation Vicki. It's gone too far the other way though, it's not about equality anymore but trying to put men down at every opportunity and acting as if they don't need men in their life. Now we have all these women saying one man isn't enough and wanting to have sex with as many men as possible. I think they have feminism confused, most of these women are not feminists for feminazis as I like to call them. It's a real shame because if society continues to go this way all structure and dicipline will be gone and the next generation of kids will follow the same trend.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 117
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 4:51:17 AM
Oh yes!!!
That's right...ALL women wanted was to be able to fvck as MANY men as we WANT, yes, that's EXACTLY what feminism is about....

While I DO agree that there seems to quite a bit of confusion regarding what the feminist movement is actually about, I have to say that REAL feminists are NOT that "concerned" with having sex with more men....
Believe it or not it's actually about women having the SAME access to opportunity, legal recourse, freedom of movement and control over our own physical bodies, as well as being paid equal pay for equal work, and I CAN go on...

But yes, by all means, let's just continue to dismiss the MAJORITY of feminists out of hand....

It occurs to me that I highly DOUBT that anyone would have the audacity to come on here and talk about the equal rights movement in regards to RACE the same way...

Wonder why that is...?
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 118
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 5:00:19 AM
Yeah feminism really is just about equal rights and not oppressing women.
There is a lot of negative propaganda going around with MRAs and Anti-fems but it's best to ignore it.
Remember there are crazies in every group, they don't represent the majority.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 119
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 5:22:25 AM
I'm glad to see that you understand that Aradia...I am seeing FAR too many women these days jumping on that anti-feminist bandwagon due to sexist propaganda and misinformation....

Such a shame that the legacy of so MANY hard-working, brave and pioneering women has come to this...makes me want to CRY....

Even WORSE when I see women who DO "use" those hard fought for and won, rights to denigrate men or for revenge, or their own, personal gain, to the detriment of women everywhere....

And yes, they ARE out there...

As are the female anti-feminists who have been fortunate enough to live in a world where they actually benefit from the hard work and sacrifice of the women who GAVE them those benefits, and yet turn their backs on the very ideologies that gave them what they now enjoy....

I have personally been part of the movement here in Canada in the 80s to strike down the attempt to repeal abortion on demand, and to ensure that a woman's prior sexual history is NOT admissible in a rape case in the courts. I have also been part of a movement that helped to tighten up some laws that provided loopholes regarding cases of domestic abuse, as well as many others....
It really BREAKS my heart, more so than men, to hear women, many as young as yourself, who think that "feminism" is some kind of antiquated concept that is "past it's prime"....
Or that it has "no bearing" on their lives.....

There are STILL so many places on this Earth where women are being discriminated against, brutalized and killed, maimed and tortured, merely for BEING women....

I believe that it is our DUTY, as women to be out there and continuing the "fight" until that IS no more....
REAL "power" is in women helping each other and supporting each other, NOT, tearing each other down, or minimizing and invalidating the existing problems in the world, just because they aren't in our own backyard....or we haven't personally experienced them ourselves....

My wish is that one day NO woman will live in fear just for being a woman and that young women really WON'T have a clue as to what used to be, except from history books , and even if I disagree with them, I DO believe that ALL women deserve the right to voice their opinions and whether or not I agree with their way of doing things, I will defend their RIGHT to do them, in the way that they choose....
Whether that means staying home and having babies, OR being the Prime Minister of Canada...
@Vicki As far as your Mom was concerned I'm going to say that she was VERY lucky and NOT THE NORM...
Just plug in women/factory work/ww2 and you'll see that most of those jobs were re-classified as "female" jobs in the first place, and when men returned the MAJORITY of women WERE dismissed, go and look it up if you care to.....this is common knowledge.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 120
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 5:22:33 AM
Yes, Fiftyplusone: I'm looking at your absurd accusatons. I'm not looking for what I already have and maintaining; I'm looking at forums.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 121
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 6:25:02 AM

As are the female anti-feminists who have been fortunate enough to live in a world where they actually benefit from the hard work and sacrifice of the women who GAVE them those benefits, and yet turn their backs on the very ideologies that gave them what they now enjoy....

That's exactly why anti-fem women frustrate me.
Like come on, the reason they have their freedoms in the first place is because of the hard work of fems, yet they are against it?


There are STILL so many places on this Earth where women are being discriminated against, brutalized and killed, maimed and tortured, merely for BEING women....

India, china.

I agree, women should be working together and supporting each-other not tearing each-other down.
I'd blame the MRA's and anti-fem propaganda again.
Loads of people believe it, it's getting a strong following.

You should see some of the things these people believe in; forced abortions, financial abortion, list goes on!
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 122
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 6:51:20 AM

About as much as you know about how others fight for equality and their own approaches to it, which you apparently see no value in at all.


Just noticed this....
Make no mistake Vicki....I DO support and believe that your own approach DOES have value...

I ALSO, believe in "equality for all"....

What I DO have a problem with is when somebody tells me that feminists are mostly "man-hating radicals", especially when they seem to have no CLEAR idea of the actual movement in it's many and varying aspects....
Feminism is NOT only ONE thing, it is a host of ideologies and beliefs that promote equality for women in a variety of areas as well as in a variety of ways....

Also, not sure exactly how it is that being FOR equality for women in ANY way means being AGAINST the rights of MEN???

That is NOT the goal of any feminists that I know or have met, EVER, and actually is an oxymoron...

The definition of "equal" means exactly that, equal...Not better, or more or anything else....

Also being for equal rights for women doesn't in any way mean that I ignore, or allow or agree with inequality that I see being perpetrated upon any OTHER group of people.
The difference being that women make up more than half of the world population at this point and crosses all cultural, social, economic and religious barriers....whereas other groups do NOT.
I am a woman, and as such, I AM concerned with issues that affect women everywhere. While I will speak out and defend the rights of ANYONE being persecuted for who they are, women's issues are my prime concern as I AM a woman and they directly affect myself, as well as more than half the world population, not to mention future generations.

Do I think that it's ok for women to use and twist the laws, many of which I, myself, have fought for, for their OWN "nefarious" purposes?
NO!!! Definitely NOT.....
Do I see women doing the MANY things they are accused of by yourself and others? Yes, I have. Not only is that unfair to the men who are targeted, but women like that have only contributed to the current attitude towards feminism that I am seeing is so prevalent today. An attitude imo that does nothing more than create divisive ideologies as opposed to working for the common good.
Is that to be expected when balance of power shifts from one group to be more evenly distributed among those within as well as those outside of that group?
Yes, actually...Anthropological studies done over MANY years and with many previously "subordinate" groups of people have demonstrated unequivocally that when the balance of power shifts the "pendulum" tends to swing to an opposite "extreme" before finally settling into a more workable and desirable set of "norms" that are suitable to both groups...
Again...I am NOT "against" ANYONE that is out for "equality" in any way....
I also love men, have MANY male friends and have enjoyed being afforded the view from THEIR perspective, which has helped me to become a better person as well as feminist....One of those NON-radical, NON-man-hating, types, that is....;-)
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 123
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 7:01:27 AM

It occurs to me that I highly DOUBT that anyone would have the audacity to come on here and talk about the equal rights movement in regards to RACE the same way...


(The Off Topic section is full of racist posts by people who condone racism)

Feminism is racism.

For example, Planned Parenthood was founded by Margaret Sanger, a racist eugenist. She created the group to sterilize black women and to abort nonwhite babies while encouraging white women to breed huge litters. People would complain "Godwin" if I said which world leader idolized Sanger and used many of her ideas as part of his regime's genocidal programs.

Since women have been allowed to vote in the USA, the USA has been in a constant state of imperialist wars, committing genocide against "little brown men" around the world. Women tend to vote for Democrats, and the biggest wars (WWII, Korea, Vietnam) were waged by Democrats voted in by women. In WWII the USA dropped nukes on Asian civilians and put American citizens of Asian national background in concentration camps. In Korea and Vietnam the USA committed genocide against Asians. Over 99% of the Americans who died in these wars were men, forced to serve wars they opposed because of the draft.

Note how the feminists never try to get drafted or put into combat. Most women (and the richest 1% of men) are chicken hawks who wage war and send men to die in wars. This creates an ever-worsening cycle as much of the male population is murdered in war, so women control the vote even more. Recently Dee bragged about women becoming a higher percentage of the population, once again violating the Canadian hate speech law.

The draft and veteran combat stats show how feminism and racism go hand in hand. A disproportionate percentage of American war dead are black, and now many Hispanic Americans are being killed and maimed in war along with the black cannon fodder.

Feminists are millionaires from rich families: Gloria Steinem, Marlo Thomas, "Hanoi" Jane Fonda.

The main reason many Americans favored the invasion of Afghanistan was the 1990s chain letter propaganda about the supposed treatment of women in Afghanistan. Afghan women (and men and children) are most oppressed by matriarchal invaders (USA, USSR, the British empire), as the invading soldiers bomb civilians and shoot villagers in their sleep.

It's easy to turn the tables on feminists. An abortion is about to occur, are you for it or against it? If the abortion is being performed because the parents found out the fetus is female, the feminists will demand a forced birth.

Another example of feminism and racism: the huge numbers of black men being executed by police. Police rarely have the cojones to shoot a woman. Police constantly beat men who are falsely accused of domestic violence against women. Death row is nearly 100% male even though most of the crimes that deserve the death penalty are committed by women (such as the mothers who put their kids in hot cars). Death row also discriminates against blacks. The jury that acquitted Zimmerman was 100% female.

Millions of men are in prison, convicted of "raping" women. When people investigate these cases, DNA proves these men are innocent, not even being in an act with her, much less proof she didn't want it.

No surprise that man in Montreal did what he did.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 124
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Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 7:19:56 AM

No surprise that man in Montreal did what he did.

Nice attempt at baiting there Ainen....

Please, continue...you are ONLY proving what a pathetic excuse for a human being that you ARE....

@ Vicki...hope you're seeing this and maybe it will give you some insight into why I continue to do what I do....If you're unfamiliar with the case...look up Marc Lepine, and his "manifesto" and why 14 women paid with their LIVES because of his belief that they were "taking jobs from men"....
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 125
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 7:54:44 AM

It's easy to turn the tables on feminists. An abortion is about to occur, are you for it or against it? If the abortion is being performed because the parents found out the fetus is female, the feminists will demand a forced birth.

That is completely incorrect, feminists believe in women's rights. They support the decision of the woman on the matter, that is it.

Feminism isn't racism, dafuq

half of the stuff you talk about in the post Ainen is irrelevant or not even anything to do with feminism. The trusty patriarchy was the one who made men go to war, not feminism.

Feminism cares about women that is it, it's a special interests group pretty much. What do you expect. Its not going to go full out obsessed with doing stuff for men because it's primary purpose and interest is WOMEN.

Planned parenthood incident is an example of crazies, it doesn't represent the larger majority. Why is planned parenthood's foundations even relevant at all in this discussion? it isn't. Unless you are trying to prove the thing is evil to somehow say women shouldn't be allowed abortions or contraception.

don't worry Dee, he is just a MRA/or Anti-fem.
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