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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > the truth when being rejected.      Home login  
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 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 426
the truth when being rejected.Page 18 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

Do you ever wonder why you're single? Seriously

being single isn't a disease, but making unreasonable demands on people you've never met will probably go a long way towards ensuring you stay that way.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 427
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 9:36:26 AM

at some point you need to be an adult and take responsibility for your actions.

people on dating sites aren't responsible for your feelings about their 'canned' rejection notices.


If I started telling you why you shouldn't be allowed to have a car, am I in any position to be surprised if you get mad? No? Then why the hell is it any different when someone is just repeating the same canned bs line that everyone else is using?

because your analogy doesn't make any sense and because people on dating sites aren't obligated to give you an answer you wanted to hear.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 428
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 9:40:16 AM


Seriously, reading some of your replies, it's no surprise why any of you are single and on here. I've seen brick walls that are more socially competent.


This is exactly the condescending garbage that has so many people here with a low opinion of you. You come across as a sheltered, naive virgin with an extremely myopic view of the world, yet still believe you know it all.

You somehow KNOW women are deserving of messages with abusive language. Based on what?

Oh, and "single" doesn't mean dateless.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 429
Run Forrest, Run!
Posted: 5/4/2015 10:00:00 AM

.................until whatever squirreliness on PoF calms down.


justdeb1111, I wouldn't hold my breathe in the meantime, oops isn't this a cliche? LOL

When I was still free, "single and looking",

As a woman I would not bother to initiate contact, leave that to the guys.

When I initiated a first message, I never received a reply, good or bad. I simply accepted, "No reply, IS a reply".
Hundreds of incoming, for which I learned rather quickly to disqualify the undesirable. (LOL, And NO it had nothing to do with physical attraction, his height, bald or not, blah, blah, blah.) and everything to do with politeness, directness, and/ or humor. Only sent a few first messages to fellow Forumites, and they responded, LOL.

The longer I'm here the more squirreliness I see. A whole forest of trees with squirrels!

The written, as well as unwritten,"Rules of dating", the assumptions one jumps leaps and bounds to, the perceived notions of, "Do this, don't do that", "Everybody knows.........., "You gotta.....", yadda yadda yadda. (You know it is ALL written in stone, LMAO)
THIS boggles my mind.

There is just plain ol' common sense, (I know it may not be so common anymore), common decency, politeness, and knowing when to let go of a negative attitude. Taking a "sabbatical", or a "breather", or a "time out", is a healthy thing to do.
We/I can only change ourselves.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 430
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 10:55:39 AM

being single isn't a disease, but making unreasonable demands on people you've never met will probably go a long way towards ensuring you stay that way.

Being single can be great -- much better than a bad relationship or even a bland one that's glued together by attachment. Or obviously it can be bad. Depends on the person, and also depends on the situation.

I think one being single for a long time is a Problem when they themselves don't want to be single and are avidly chasing prospects in their own league to attach to, but can't -- and consistently faltering after 1-3 dates.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 431
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 11:30:26 AM

You somehow KNOW women are deserving of messages with abusive language. Based on what?


Based on if you say or do something that could potentially cause someone to get mad either out of direct anger towards you, or because every single person in the world seems to have the same bs excuse, it's your own dumbass fault that you got that reaction. Like when I said beached whale in the other thread, who's fault was it that people got mad at me, theirs, or mine? Well, the same theory holds true for literally every other situation you can ever be in. If you said the wrong thing and someone got mad about it, you said the wrong thing. I'm not condoning being violent or crazy or anything, but you're the one who put yourself in that situation, nobody else.

Think before you type or talk.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 432
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:01:34 PM
If you said the wrong thing and someone got mad about it, you said the wrong thing.
------------------------
Not really. If your intent was to piss someone off, then you said the right thing. You have only said the wrong thing if you got a reaction that was different than you expected. In that case, you have little self-awareness.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 433
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:31:27 PM

because every single person in the world seems to have the same bs excuse,

how could anyone answering your messages anticipate what kind of a bs excuse is going to set you off?


Like when I said beached whale in the other thread, who's fault was it that people got mad at me, theirs, or mine?

a lame excuse isn't even in the same category as a rude remark that insults people for being too unattractive.


If you said the wrong thing and someone got mad about it, you said the wrong thing. I'm not condoning being violent or crazy or anything, but you're the one who put yourself in that situation, nobody else.

a lame excuse isn't 'saying the wrong thing' except by your own definition. the rest of the world takes lame excuses in stride and just moves on to something or someone else. nobody really cares how you feel about their lame excuses, but go ahead and have a shitfit the next time you see one.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 434
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:32:48 PM

Not really. If your intent was to piss someone off, then you said the right thing. You have only said the wrong thing if you got a reaction that was different than you expected. In that case, you have little self-awareness.


Yeah. But I'm really wondering what people are expecting. Some of the things you'll see people say and do, is just mind-blowing.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 435
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:36:53 PM



Based on if you say or do something that could potentially cause someone to get mad either out of direct anger towards you, or because every single person in the world seems to have the same bs excuse, it's your own dumbass fault that you got that reaction. Like when I said beached whale in the other thread, who's fault was it that people got mad at me, theirs, or mine?


Holy f*ck. How do you KNOW women are saying things that are deserving of nasty replies? You don't, but you seem to think you do.



Think before you type or talk.


Practice what you preach.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 436
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:39:18 PM

Not really. If your intent was to piss someone off, then you said the right thing. You have only said the wrong thing if you got a reaction that was different than you expected. In that case, you have little self-awareness.

Well, depends on the context of "the wrong thing". If you made a typo, that's one. Another is in a regrettable fit of frustration saying too much and it being realized as the "wrong" thing to do shortly thereafter by oneself. And another is it being deserved, but the "wrong" thing as it's still going to offend and p!ss off regardless, and only backfire in your aim in getting someone to see the light.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 437
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:40:48 PM

a lame excuse isn't 'saying the wrong thing' except by your own definition. the rest of the world takes lame excuses in stride and just moves on to something or someone else. nobody really cares how you feel about their lame excuses, but go ahead and have a shitfit the next time you see one.


And that's the problem, not one single thought is ever put into the other person. Wanna keep saying "I was busy" go ahead. Use that line as much as you want. When every girl in the world says that though, is it any surprise that there's going to be people that call you out on it? If it's a surprise, you have bigger problems than someone yelling at you.

This is just common sense. EVERYONE knows that when you said "Sorry, I don't think we're a match" that it REALLY means "Sorry, but I think you're ugly." Now, come on, nobody in the world is supposed to bring that one up when you say it? Every single person alive is going to just let it go? Not one person is going to say that it has nothing to do with being a match?

Again, you put yourself in that situation. Stop blaming everyone else. You typed or said those words. You lacked the common sense to realize that he might now what you really mean. Then you also lacked the common sense to realize that he might be the type of person who will say something about. Again, I acknowledge that there's guys that just flip out for no reason. But actually think about what you're typing. Not for me, I don't care what the hell you're saying to other people. Do it for you. "Am I saying something that might make someone flip out on me?"
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 438
view profile
History
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:43:41 PM
Wow all the time spent writing these posts, you could have sent out a whole crapload of emails, dontcha think RT?
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 439
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:45:27 PM

Holy f*ck. How do you KNOW women are saying things that are deserving of nasty replies? You don't, but you seem to think you do.


Is every single girl on the planet completely innocent and incapable of doing wrong?

Because nowhere in my posts did I say that eeryone woman is deserving of nasty replies. I even multiple times in this thread acknowledged that there's going to be guys who react like that for no reason. It's not that they deserve it, it's that they're the ones who opened that door. They put themselves in that situation, nobody else did. The words she typed and sent were 10000000000% by her own choice. I'm not saying she deserves to get yelled at, I'm not saying it's her fault, I'm saying that it's not surprising. When you say something that can potentially set someone off, it's probably eventually going to happen.

So how do I KNOW? Easy, because they're not perfect either. Find me one person who has NEVER in their life said something that can potentially piss someone off.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 440
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 1:10:29 PM

And that's the problem, not one single thought is ever put into the other person.

yes and just look at how careless those people are. hey it's a good thing they let you know so soon. now you can move on to someone else.


EVERYONE knows that when you said "Sorry, I don't think we're a match" that it REALLY means "Sorry, but I think you're ugly."

LOL that's not what everyone KNOWS... that's what YOU assume. it might or might not be true..... I have turned quite a few people down for reasons other than being too ugly.

'Sorry, I don't think we're a match' .....works for me every single time, and it works for a lot of other people too. I can tell because they don't go apeshit on me when I say it (but maybe they are screaming into a pillow). the only other person it might not work for is the person on the other end who's pissed off about hearing it.

oh well, not my problem.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 441
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 1:26:21 PM

Almost every time people get mad and flip out on you, it's going to be because of something you did.


Yeah, there's absolutely nothing here that implies they deserve the nasty replies. Absolutely nothing. (insert eyeroll icon here)


It's not that they deserve it, it's that they're the ones who opened that door.


Uuuuuh, meaning they were "at fault". Doesn't one usually "deserve" the outcome of something they willingly "open the door" to?? If I willingly put my hand on a hot stove, wouldn't I deserve to get burned?? If I willingly robbed a bank, wouldn't I deserve to be arrested? The shit you say makes sense only to you, I believe.


So how do I KNOW? Easy, because they're not perfect either. Find me one person who has NEVER in their life said something that can potentially piss someone off.


What the f*ck does this have to do with whether or not you know women on POF are saying or doing things "almost every time"???

You're making big claims with not a damn thing to back it up. Your assumptions are not knowledge.
 eternalrealist2015
Joined: 4/23/2015
Msg: 442
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 1:42:21 PM
Just recently back on Pof... (And Off Topic -- where are my hundreds of messages that even the most lowly female gets, I ask? WHERE?! (I'm joking))

Anyway...


It's not that they deserve it, it's that they're the ones who opened that door. They put themselves in that situation, nobody else did.


I actually got a nasty message from a man because I viewed his profile and didn't send him a message... I mean, come on. Did I put myself in THAT situation?

And somewhat Off Topic: the reason I didn't write to this particularly person, I determined he was likely out of my league. I mean, that is the main thing I've picked up from reading the forums (something I swore I would not do if I was actually going to use the site to attempt to meet people)... After reading some of the 'stuff' on here -- I would not want to offend anyone out of my league with a message - they may think I'm a beached whale or that my numeric rating is several points below theirs or that I'm a broken bottle or or or....

(Again - kind of joking --Actually I just thought the guy was a bit too young for me - something you don't know in some cases until you click on their picture and see their whole profile - wasn't doing that bogus meet me app, just generally navigating the site and guy was in the row of pics up top).
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 443
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 1:52:55 PM
Nineteen pages (and counting)
proving why no answer is an
answer.

Unless you prefer saying
"I don't think we're a match"
and then having to come up with
19 reasons why not.

Or you prefer to make up a reason and
seem insincere and that opens you up
to abuse because you opened THAT
door.

ugh.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 444
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 2:10:29 PM

WARNING: You are entering a thread taken over by a TROLL. The Original Poster Has FLED. Any attempts to reason with a troll will be answered unreasonably or/and with equally illogical backpedaling because TROLLS LOVE TO ARGUE. DO NOT FEED THE TROLL.


Oh heck, I will fed the troll.

http://www.food.com/recipe/better-than-sex-cake-iii-3595
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 445
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 2:13:20 PM

It's not that they deserve it, it's that they're the ones who opened that door. They put themselves in that situation, nobody else did. The words she typed and sent were 10000000000% by her own choice. I'm not saying she deserves to get yelled at, I'm not saying it's her fault, I'm saying that it's not surprising


In what universe can you possibly see this as a rational thought?
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 446
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 2:13:51 PM

Ask yourself a question before you send a cliche response: How many times do I expect him to get this same response, word for word, and not call BS on it?


Why don’t you ask yourself how in the heck are women supposed to know how many responses some random guy got, and what they said, “word for word”? Why doesn’t HE ask HIMself, how many stupid, self-serving slobbery messages SHE has received? Why does she have to think about him, but he doesn’t have to think about her? YOU are the one soliciting a response from her. You don’t get to decide what she says, if anything.

You must be one of those guys who think all women are exactly alike and somehow, mysteriously, voodooishly, know what all women everywhere are thinking and doing.

Why should I or any other woman care if some random guy “calls BS” on any response he gets?

Just how do you “call BS” on responses you don’t like (ie: reject you)? You’re one of those meltdown guys, aren’t you, that women avoid like the bubonic plague?

If some random guy “called BS” on my response he was lucky to get by getting nasty with me he’d be reported and blocked. And then I’d send the link to his profile to all of my friends to laugh at.

Now you’ve defined “call BS” to mean “get mad?” I just bet you get mad when you’re rejected.


How do you KNOW women are saying things that are deserving of nasty replies?


He’s projecting. Women deserve nasty replies if they reject him. Despite his never-ending hissy fits there is no “right” way to reject him. Honestly, this guy is friggin scary. I wouldn’t want to accidentally meet up with him at a truck stop, or anywhere else. Creepy!
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 447
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 2:17:36 PM
^^^^^

Just a couple of minutes again, I received yet another message from a gentleman asking if I'd just engage him in a conversation. I sent him "I'm sorry, I'm not interested". His response was "that is not possible". I just went ahead and blocked him. The conversation does not need to continue after such a delusional/narcissistic statement.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 448
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 4:48:14 PM

Just a couple of minutes again, I received yet another message from a gentleman asking if I'd just engage him in a conversation. I sent him "I'm sorry, I'm not interested". His response was "that is not possible". I just went ahead and blocked him. The conversation does not need to continue after such a delusional/narcissistic statement.


Now, now, now, young lady. You need to unblock him, and give him a better explanation. You need to make sure it's "carefully worded" and "polite". Your POF experience is supposed to be all about HIM. Have rockin-trucker read it first before you send it out, so he can give it the official stamp of approval.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 449
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 4:55:07 PM


I actually got a nasty message from a man because I viewed his profile and didn't send him a message


This ain't a peek show ya know!

No teasing!
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 450
the truth when being rejected.
Posted: 5/4/2015 5:21:07 PM

In what universe can you possibly see this as a rational thought?


Any universe that has common sense. So obviously not this one.

These guys get the same message, girl after girl. Any random girl on here isn't the first one to say it, and she won't be the last. Are you going to honestly tell me that every single guy on the site isn't going to call her out on that's what they all say? Because that's exactly what you're saying. You're denying the reality that the next guy any girl sends that canned response to can just get that fed up with the same line that he tells her off. Again, I'm not condoning it. For a lot of you who lack an above 2nd grade reading comprehension and vocabulary skill, that means that I do not support flipping out on a girl just because she doesn't want to date you. Which in more simpler terms means I don't think you should yell at a girl for not wanting to date you.

It's a numbers game. You keep saying something that can potentially get someone mad and eventually it's going to get someone mad. Say whatever you want, but don't act surprised when someone calls you out on the same line that everyone else is using. When every girl seems to want to use the same line, what do you honestly expect to happen?
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