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Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 85
Any single parents of disabled children??Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
First, you are to be commended for taking care of your special angel. Something many women and men do because they feel so much love for their children, no matter if there is a challenge in that child's life or not. I'm an older, single mother of an adult young man with autism. I never say Kevin is autistic-because he's so much more than his lot in life-I don't describe anyone by the worst thing that has happened to them.

It does my heart good to see so many of you younger people take responsibility, not because you have to (some ignorant woman once told me to institutionalize Kevin so I could live my own life)...but because you have such a loving heart. Any of you who have written on this forum would make a wonderful mate for any of the rest of you-because you aren't living a totally selfish lifestyle, and you wouldn't give up and run at the first bump in the road.

My wish is for a bright future for all of your children, and for you.
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 87
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:06:16 PM
I have two boys, and the oldest (12yo), has multiple disabilities ie; epilepsy,SOME autistic tendencies,klienfeld syndrome,delayed speech & learning, he was also fully mobile...... It's been a challenge and no mistake about that! 3yrs ago, he got away from a person I had careing for him, got on his pushbike & was promptly hit by a car....... he is now classified as 'Aquired brain injury with spastic quadraplegia'.... as well as all of the existing problems. Talk about a steep learning curve for me!! The mother doesn't want anything to do with either boy...... out of sight, out of mind....... her loss. I didnt ever entertain the idea of puting him into fulltime care, even though I dont have a support base to speak of. It's now got to the stage where I'm comfortable with-in the four walls of my home, and even with limited respite, I dont take advantage of it to go anywhere. The one thing that makes it all worthwhile, is when I put him to bed & he says 'I luv u heaps dad'
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 88
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:48:27 PM
I have a daughter that has Metachromatic Leukodystrophy. She was normal at one time, where she was walking and talking. Now she's not able to do anything. She is on a feeding tube. And everything has changed so much. She takes all my time so I'm not able to do much of anything. But she is my life though and I love her so much. When she smiles, it lights up my day. The only thing that makes me mad about her condition is that the us has a study going on for her disease and the us had to put it on hold, because there wasn't enough history on the disease. And when the us get the history and put the study back on then it will not help my daughter. She is to far progressed in the disease. So all the doctors can do is make her comfortable for the rest of her life. She is a year old and very loving little girl.
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 89
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 11/6/2008 3:38:17 AM
I really hope that women have not sunk to a new all time low of now not just blaming their children, but now their childrens disabilities, in the 'wah wah i cant find a man" diatribe. Lord that makes me want to puke every time i see it.
Maybe the men you have dated think youre ugly, physically or personality-wise. Or ya just whine to much.
It is NOT your kids fault for your personal problems.
Please stop blaming them.
Joined: 10/29/2004
Msg: 91
view profile
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:20:58 PM
My son is now 10 years old with autism. Autism is not "the worse thing that has happened to him" but more a part of who he is. My son knows what autism is, is proud of who he is and is working towards advocacy for special needs children. Every year he comes more out of his shell and more involved in the world. He is one of the reasons I have stopped dating, but that is by choice. He is so involved in the community and so active now that we do not have free time. My focus is on my son and helping other special needs families. If a man appears that can handle it all and be part of our life, all the better, but if not, it is no big deal.
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 92
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:33:05 PM

Add me to the group. I am also a single mother raising a special needs child. My daughter was a victim of Shaken Impact Syndrome and as a result she has severe brain damage, she is slowly learning to walk, sensory integration disorder, has cognitive and behavioral issues. She had part of her brain removed due to swelling and part of her skull is gone. She wears a helmet due to the bone flap gone (due to be operate on June 2009 to fix it!), AFOs, hand splints, wheel chair, gait trainer, glasses, a shunt for hydrocephalus.

I currently work in the Oncology field however, my passion is teaching about the dangers of Shaking a baby. I have been on the news several times, been a guest speaker, I also go to Canada and Utah for the Shaken Baby Conferences.

My daughter is a wonderful, happy, loving little girl. I do everything I can to be a positive influence and let her see that she is a beautiful child.

So everybody, keep your chin up and hang in there.
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 93
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:57:45 PM
Monica I like to think that I that I helped with Zarick..."My Son!!" in a great deal in between the the you were divorced and now that he is 13!! You act as if I never exisisted...I know, go away right?
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 95
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:42:02 AM
No, I do not children of your daughter, but I worked 4 years with them. I found them to be most rewarding people U could ever meet. They were full of love and laughter. I had one child that had Down Syndrome. 4 years olds. Her mother dropped her off and would takes hours to come back get her from camp. the whole time she was there, she would tell me that her mother wished she hadn't had her. I thought she was lying, 'but children don't lie' until the mother called stupid because she couldn't remember to tie her shoes. she would come in every morning, run right up to me and give me the biggest hug and smile. the mother seemed thrilled. this meant she could leave her there with me. which meant she was free of her. free to run with male friend also. I introduce my 2 children to the program when they were young. they loved it. they 6& 7 years of age at the time. my daughter cried because she wished Angel could be like her and not be born with any thing wrong. ' challenged' she called it .
the morrow of this story is that children are gift from God. not a burden, they are the future of life to come. without them theres no life given. any man or woman who can not except your children before getting involved with u, does not deserver to be in your life. because your children the reflection u see in the mirror each morning of yourself. remember they come first. if he or she can not handle that then don't waste your time.
all children are special , whether they born normal an d healthy or not.
a person that tends to be that way is selfish and narrow minded....

your daughter is the love of your life, she is special in all shapes , forms and fashion,
why? because d "God doesn't make no mess! take a look at yourself.......
so let them run to the hills, theres nothing there anyway. just more green grass.......
kiss her everyday with love...
about the little girl. she's the same age as your daughter now and still comes to see to me. she calls me dad and my son & daughter, her sister & brother for the love they showed her. just think, her mother call stupid, because she couldn't to tie her shoes. it was the love shown that made her keep coming back.
love given out will return back cup filled and running over..........
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 98
view profile
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 2/15/2009 11:27:34 PM
im in your place son with autism soon to be divorced to dad on oxy cotin thru dr. 5 yrs probation for almost beating me to death.
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 99
view profile
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 2/28/2009 7:26:32 PM
This is a really long thread that's been going awhile. But what the heck, I'll tag on to the bottom as well. I'm mother to a 12 yo boy who has ADHD, OCD and Tourette's. It's challenging finding someone to date who really gets it and understands it all. I know you other parents know what I'm talking about. ;)
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 100
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/29/2009 2:47:33 PM
Its pretty neat to find this... Im a single dad raising my two kids.. My daughter is almost 9 and perfectly healthy, my son is almost 8 and has 2 different forms of cerebral palsy.. He is just like a big baby, cant talk, sit up, still wears diapers and has a feeding tube.. I think the stress from it is what led to my divorce.. Dont know how a mother could do it and sure didnt think his ever would but she has not seen or talked to the kids in about 28 months now.. It is hard to date, everyone says they understand and dont mind it but they just realy dont understand it till they have done it for several years... Any way I think its great this was started and everyone has commented on the subject....
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 101
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/29/2009 9:26:04 PM
Hello all. I am a single mom to two daughters with Autism, Epilipsey, and MTHFR. Oldest is low functioning with little speech. Youngest is Aspergers, talks all the time and quite a little "stinker".

I joined this site 3/11, because I was told my boyfriend was here looking around. Sure enough he was here. Dropped him immediately.

Stayed on to see what the site was about. Got lots of email from the young guys looking for a MILF and nothing else. Then around my age and they wanted some skinny little thing. I am not fat nor skinny. I am average. Agreed to a couple dates. Went out with one loser. One too young, but fun date.

Then I "met" Gary(3rd times a charm). We started email and IMing. Then moved to the phone. We went out this weekend and it was wonderful. He is from a city very close to mine(within 30 miles) and travels for his job.

Gary is the real thing. And he makes me happy. Hoping things continue to go well and we get closer. We both are very into each other.

So don't give up hope. Cause I was close to it. And now I am happy.
 Seeking Serendipity
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 102
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/30/2009 10:01:56 PM
My son has high functioning autism and ADD.

I think that the experience of having a child with a disability sets us as parents in a different league of our own above most other parents. To me, that's a real gift. It can be quite overwhelming at times, but it's a test of strength and opening your mind to resources to enrich both our kids and our own lives. Not many people understand the challenges. I've been verbally attacked and bullied during school action planning and even online, including here on PoF. There are many people in this world who claim to be the best expert about our children's disabilities, capabilities, and challenges and solutions when the real expert is generally the parent of the disabled child and later on, the child themself after they grow their own sense of autonomy.

Thanks for making this thread. Blessings onto you and Lennon!
Joined: 1/4/2005
Msg: 103
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/31/2009 5:19:23 PM
I have a 22 year old daughter with limb-girdle muscular dystrophy. I always taught her to be proud of who she is, and to not to feel uncomfortable about her disability. We went through a lot with the school system and teachers through the years. A lot of people don't understand these kids are special, and are so loving. My daughter also has some retardation and has to be reminded alot, because she forgets. Her father died 10 years ago I show her pictures and she doesn't remember him. But I do my best to tell her some of the things they did together.
She did graduate and recieved a GED diploma through the high school she was attending. She went to vo-tech and took cooking, I'm very proud of her. All special needs children have a hard time with teachers and aids at school. I was her advocate through all 12 years of school, and the IEP's were especially hard to get what my child
needed. But I was made aware of an organization which helps when you have problems at school, Project Prompt which is a group of lawyers who help you get what is needed
for your child at school. There is also a news letter that comes out monthly called the prompter, which gives you a lot of helpfull information about special needs children and the school system. I know down in Louisiana when you mention project prompt
the school system changes the manner in which they speak to you about your child or children. When kids are in school if any teacher or school board official during a IEP says: they can't provide something for your child get it in writing as to why not. Most of the time they will tell you they can't put it in writing, which tells you what you're asking for should be provided to your child through the school system. Please listen to your children, my daughters aide at school was taking my daughters spending money
and threatening her at school if she would tell someone. If they can't speak make sure there is someone you can really trust keep an eye out for you special needs child.
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 104
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 4/4/2009 12:11:30 AM
My oldest who just started college is aspbergers. He's defied every odd, graduated in teh top 5% of his class and is fully mainstreamed in college, though he is taking independent living classes through his old high school as well.

He willed ihmself to beat fears that literally parralyzed him, has pushed himself to do as close to perfect as he can in school and is one of the most decent, respectful people I've ever known. And still has a totally quirky sense of humor.

He has been an utter joy. I can't say I'm proud of him, because he deserves all teh credit. Very very amazing young man. Definitely not always easy; especially knowing when to push and when to let them stay in their comfort zone; but he has still been an utter joy.
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 105
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 4/5/2009 4:03:32 PM
I am a single mom of 2 beautiful daughters. my oldest daughter who is 3 years old has down syndrome. she is a very happy child who always has a smile on her face. she recently started school in Feburary and she loves it. i also have a 2 year old who is a wonderful child as well. yess i know what you are all thinking they are close in age.. yes they are ,y children are 1 year apart with the same birthday. sometimes its hard but when i see my girls smiling faces it makes everything worth it. having my 3 year old has changed my life in so many ways for the best. i have learned so much from her. and when it comes to them i am an open book.. so just ask. anything i have learned i am willing to share.. i do have to say i have been very lucky when it comes to my daughter she is a very healthy child with no complications
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 106
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 4/6/2009 7:08:10 PM
Oh,i shoulda looked at this site more closely before..! My son is 10 has CP.Spastic Diplegia He can walk, Not well ,but gets a lot of muscular pain and went to school with his wheelchair for the first time today..i cried for him..(not in front of him ) haha..He has BOTOX injections to both legs,every 6 months and never whinges or complains..I do get asked the HARD ones,like why me,not my brother,etc or the big one IS IT YOUR FAULT MUM?? baby you stopped breathing 8 mins after birth,u were premmie,i was healthy so was Daddy its just one of those things could be worse.. He has Autism mild though and thats harder to deal with i think..You cope because youre the parent,i was gunna say Mum,but so many Dads doing the same i'm kinda shocked..i could Never leave my kids..Anyway,look into Diet for the Epilepsy..theres been heaps of study on it..Good luck and God bless to all of you..Gina from Australia..
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 107
view profile
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:04:16 PM
I'm the parent of two adult children with disabilities. My 24 year old has non-verbal learning disabilities and I think she may be bi-polar. She's married and lives on her own now but it was a long haul. My other daughter is 21 and has Dejerine Sottas muscular dystrophy. She lives with me. She's super smart and has her Associate of Arts degree. She uses a wheelchair for mobility. She's learning to drive and is looking for a job.

How have you found dating? I'm not having much luck. The girl's dad lives in New York and we live in Florida. Guys my age want to be free and travel and party without much responsibility. They have raised their children. I'm finding it hard to find anyone interested- especially after they find out about my daughter.

People who don't have experience with children with exceptionalities don't really understand.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 108
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/9/2009 11:19:26 AM
My youngest is Offense to the real men out there that take care of their children..but most men dont want a ready made family to begin with add in that you have a child with special needs and wait...I put that on my profile and I really dont get a lot of responses..but at least I am honest from the get go you know what you are getting before you step in..there is someone out there for least that is what people say personal favorite is I know someone that has a autistic son..wait 20 minutes you will meet someone else...oh and lets not forget that you are a strong women well dont you have to be to raise 2 kids on your own? maybe there should be a site that caters to single parents with children with special least if someone is looking there they know...
and women and men with special needs children should have hand outs that say yes we are parents to children that take alittle more but no we are not desperate...
 lavender n spice
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 109
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/9/2009 3:48:51 PM
I have a 12 year old son who has adhd, bipolor and post tramaitc stress disorder, who has blind rages. (his father molested him as a child and that is half of his problems with his rages....not understanding , not being old enough to fight dad off, and not being able to protect his older siste from the abuse also) The hardest thing i had to do was to sign him over to the state to get him the help he needed, because i could no longer hold him down during his rages.

But when i visit him he is always happy to see me, he knows he has something wrong with him but doesn't understand it. He has come along ways in the last three years of being at residentual housing that they are talking about taking half his meds away and maybe in two to three years he might be allowed to come home. They are saying that he is out growing his rages and should be able to understand his mental health issues by that age.(he now has the mind of a five year old, when he was placed there he had a mind of a two year old)

After reading all of these posts i wish i could hug each and every one of you. It is tough , it is rewarding...It breaks your keeps you smiling. But most of is a deep love for these children that most don't understand.
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 110
view profile
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:17:34 AM
Happy Mother's Day to all the Special Needs Moms out there. You are doing an awesome job.
I have a d with cerebral palsy. She is 11 and a great kid. We are working on getting her a service dog. I am more excited about getting a dog than trying to find a date. Ahhh...the things we will do for our kids.
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 111
view profile
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:16:20 PM
Thanks 4U. We have a service dog and I was like you. They add so much. You'll love him or her!

At least the dog will understand what most men can not- your daughter is beautiful and needs love too. Dogs are great about that. Ours will pick things up and open doors and turn on lights and bring the phone to my daughter. She feels safe with him and he is her friend.

It's too bad people can't be more open minded about special children. They bring a whole new dimension to our lives and take us places we never imagined. Not that it's easy for sure. But our kids made us the accepting, respectful, open-minded, loving people we are today.

Happy Special Mother's Day to you!
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 112
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Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:25:53 PM
Mr Mom, I'm sorry about your divorce. I expect the rate of divorce among families with special needs children is pretty high. There is a lot of stress and the children don't always grow up and leave the nest so some people just aren't up to that level of committment.

I'm pretty sure the children were what caused my divorce also- but when push came to shove- I take the kids over him. If he can't grow up and face the challenge- then that's his problem I guess. They didn't ask to be here. I brought them into this world and have the responsibility to make sure they're taken care of.

As a career I work with families with special needs children. The personal experience I have makes me appreciate what each family is going through. I try to help them find the supports they need to hopefully prevent them from divorcing.

Good luck with your son. I hope you find someone who can see beyond his disability. You have a large load to bear alone. Don't be afraid to look for supports and ask for help. He will needs you for a long time. You need to keep up your physical and emotional strength.

Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 113
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:26:03 PM
My eight year old son has Muscular Dystrophy and ADHD.
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 114
Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:23:11 AM
My daughter is now 18 and she has cerebral palsy and a seizure disorder. If I had a dollar for everytime someone said "I like you but...." in my life I would be extremely wealthy by now. My daughter is the light of my life and will be with me forever.

I am looking for someone (of course may never find) that will love me and want to be part of OUR lives.....again this may never happen but I will continue to pray that God will find him for me.
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