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 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 126
pictureless profilesPage 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

If Kate Beckinsale and a frumpy average looking girl possessed identical personalities, values, and characteristics you find appealing, who are you going to choose? You can give me a four paragraph explanation on why you would pick the frumpy woman, but I won't believe it.


SO... The choice is between her and an average looking girl.... Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

WELL, to me she's pretty average looking (I've known enough models/strippers to really have a good idea of the magic that makeup can do, and thanks to the internet, google can show the effects of makeup on her). I don't think her natural look is anything THAT special.

So now it's between some average girl and some high profile celebrity. I'm taking the average girl. We've seen how stable Hollywood is.

I get your point though. When the two girls are 100% equal besides looks, you're going to take looks. But find me 2 girls that are completely identical, and then you'll have an argument. In the real world, I'm going to pick the one that I like better 100% of the time, because differences are ALWAYS going to exist.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 127
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/21/2015 4:27:56 PM

Sounds like u r saying u have to have one or the other? The ole Madonna-Whore Complex...

What about BOTH? a partner who is also ur play mate?


What I'm saying is that what you're TRULY looking for is going to affect what interests you. If you were looking to start a family, would you want to waste your time with someone who has no interest in ever having kids, and doesn't want any kind of serious relationship at all, but they're hot?

Again, sex and companionship are not the same thing. Both can exist together. One person can fulfill both needs. But they're still 2 separate needs. Love doesn't require sex, just like sex doesn't require love. One is reproduction, one is companionship. They both work independent of each other. But American society, today, we don't understand the difference between the two.

To bring up the question that I was just asked... Let's reword it, for both of you. Imagine whatever celebrity you think is the most attractive. Now, you have someone that looks exactly like that, but is very verbally abusive, rarely showers, has no goals in life... And then you have someone a little overweight, not the most physically attractive person, but they're everything you want in another person, just without the looks. You have to marry one. Which one would you choose? And that's the difference between sex and love.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 128
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/22/2015 2:06:45 AM
Jesus.

You know, this was all about pictureless profiles before you started going Dr. Phil about marriage, love, sex, etc.

So, back to that point again. I reiterate, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to know whether there might be potential for some sort of physical attraction before meeting the person.

You're asking for A LOT if you expect people to simply disregard profiles with pictures, and simply start focusing on the ones with lame ass excuses as to why they don't have any.

Sorry. If that's "shallow", then I'm as deep as a pizza pan, and I'm not afraid to admit it.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 129
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/22/2015 5:05:49 AM

And then you have someone a little overweight, not the most physically attractive person, but they're everything you want in another person, just without the looks.


Then they're not everything you want in a person.

Everyone has a perception of what is attractive to them. I avoid it when I can but just go to Walmart on Saturday around mid morning and get a dose of just how varied perception can get. It is absolutely mind boggling.

Back on point. If you feel comfortable conversing with a picless profile with the intent of dating you go right ahead.

No pic no conversing in a dating manner for me. You can attach one in a message and then hide it or delete it. No excuses.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 130
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/22/2015 5:39:35 AM

Everyone has a perception of what is attractive to them.

My man loves my t1ts & ass-ets
Another man may say lose 10 lbs
Another may say gain 20

But my man also likes my personality but admits he would never have gotten to know me if he wasn't attracted first.

Attraction isn't the only thing for a real man, but it is the first thing he sees.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 131
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/26/2015 8:48:41 PM
In some ways I can understand why it may not be good to have a pic up publicly. But if you want to actually try to date on here and you are a guy it's mandatory or you will have less than zero result.

I remember a few years back I was on the site and searching, and I freaked out by seeing a client of mine on here. Living in the Los Angeles Megapolis I know thousands of people. And out of them, I am sure I have been seen and just not told anything about it. It's kind of embarrassing in a way plus it would spread gossip. Because of what I do, I have to keep a good trustworthy reputation. Being seen on POF may not damage that but it sure would not help.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 132
view profile
History
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/28/2015 6:50:29 AM
I have zero issue with no pictures..She could have many reason..
So I go read her profile and would send her a quick message if I think we are compatible, even she doesn't have a picture.
I think it does say a lot about a person, and it's not at all good if he/she won't.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 133
view profile
History
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/28/2015 9:57:11 AM

Attraction isn't the only thing for a real man, but it is the first thing he sees.


Blondie,

you get it. I agree that both men and women want a partner that we find physically attractive but the issue of the visual driver is not the same for most men vs. most women. For most men, the visual is as near a visceral urge as one can have. We can be with a woman whom we honestly believe is the most beautiful in the world, and we still look. We cannot stop looking. That is why visual porn, strippers, etc., is such a weakness for most men. Women are different - Playgirl magazine nearly folded because of declining viewership, women got tired of looking after the initial titillation; it wasn't until homosexual men started subscribing that it was able to return to profitability.

ChickLitPorn (romance novels, 50 shades of Grey, etc.) feed the different character of women - if the desired audience was men the category would have folded before it started.

For myself, I have a love/hate relationship with my visual self - there are times I think if I were only blind I would be more likely to find the lady who is most perfect for me, but then I would be missing out on an aspect of who I am that brings me a tremendous amount of pleasure.

TK

[it is interesting that in scripture when the issue of body parts that cause us to sin comes under discussion, the first body part mentioned is the eye]
 Viewfromhere
Joined: 9/14/2014
Msg: 134
pictureless profiles
Posted: 3/28/2015 9:57:59 PM
No hand up here.
No immediate red flag with me. No harm imagined here in exchanging mere words with...whomever, from the safe confines of one's den. Should the content of written exchanges prove interesting and somehow progresses to the point of live meet and your keyboard pal will absolutely not supply a photo - well then, act accordingly. Until this moment arises you've still communicated with a real person. Is not communication the bottom line for all within this space? Further communication with a stubbornly un-cooperative can be discontinued at any time. This person is not the only profile amid the thousands readily available from within your area. Photo or not.

Now, for a glimpse into a real scenario, consider this one. My one digital camera became... : ) ... well, unworkable. Not a life priority to acquire another. What, just to supply random and mostly proven uncommunicative strangers with an image? A selfie, of all things yet. Personally, I have an older stand-by photo...somewhere. When appropriate I'll go looking for it as I've changed little in 5 years since the last one was posted for all to see.

Not an issue. Yet.
 Squirrelarmy2012
Joined: 9/3/2012
Msg: 135
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:34:14 AM
This is certainly an interesting debate.

Normally I won't contact anyone without a picture and I have my settings set so no one without a picture can contact me. Recently someone clicked that they would like to meet me but I couldn't see the profile, I searched the name and it came up with a pictureless profile, this explains why they didn't show up in meet me.

Normally I'd have just ignored her but I noticed that she was also quite tall and had a few similar interests. I messaged her to say she sounded interesting but I don't normally message people without pictures.

She responded saying that she doesn't want co-workers to know that she's on the site. I think that's a reasonable reason to keep pictures hidden. I explained to her that she can actually hide her profile from public view and only approach people that she likes. No one would know who she was unless she spoke to them first.

She seemed grateful for the advice. We have been chatting a couple of weeks now on and off and I've said I'm definitely intrigued to see what she looks like and any time I bring up pictures usually turns to a subject change.

I'm not going to meet her without knowing what she looks like as she definitely seems like she is hiding something. Do I write it off or do I see what happens?
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 136
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:26:00 AM

I'm not going to meet her without knowing what she looks like as she definitely seems like she is hiding something. Do I write it off or do I see what happens?


You gave her a solution to what she claimed was her reason for not posting pictures, yet she still doesn't want you to see them, apparently.

Sure, it's no guarantee that she's someone you would likely find unattractive, but this definitely isn't a good sign to me.

It's also in the realm of possibility that she's really a bombshell, and is simply "testing" you to see if you really have a genuine appreciation for the "mental connection", but honestly, to me, that just falls under the category of "games", which nearly everyone and their brother supposedly has great disdain for.

Me personally, I would back off.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 137
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/6/2015 5:35:44 AM
Sometimes the picture-less people are more interesting but sometimes they have questionable or suspicious motive. I find.

I'd always want to see a picture after exchanging a few messages on dating sites. I'd get suspicious if they won't.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 138
view profile
History
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/6/2015 6:09:06 AM
Even if she is married why wouldn't she send a picture just to you? You have been conversing for two weeks. From the beginning you told her you wont meet unless you see a picture and still no picture. Chances are she don't like the way she looks and either will you. If she was just an online scammer(yes, they exist) you would have received a picture, there are plenty of places on the internet to grab a picture of an attractive, age appropriate female. In the past I met a few without pictures and I was surprised every time and let us not say pleasantly surprised. If I were you my next email would say that I really need to see a picture. Superficial? Hell yes but let's be real, without a degree of attraction do you really want to go out with her?
 LotsOfLaughs10
Joined: 2/16/2015
Msg: 139
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:05:30 AM
As someone who has a pictureless profile, I can totally understand the views and comments of everyone here. My reasons for not having a profile is simply bc I can not, and do not want to deal with a large number of messages and emails. Rather, I would prefer to select who I want to interact with. I understand that it may appear as though I have something to hide, but I don't. Occassionally, I post a primary photo whilst I am online, and I find I am inundated with msgs. I am only stating what happens. Hence I find it much more productive to be the one to do the searching for dates. Yes I am flattered, but it stresses me out to have so many msgs to look at and potentially reply to. I simply do not have the time to sit on this website scrolling through msgs. Some may say this sounds somewhat arrogant, but truth is, dating is not my life. It is not the be all and end all.
 LotsOfLaughs10
Joined: 2/16/2015
Msg: 140
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:07:51 AM
I'd also like to add, I send my photos privately once first contact is made, as I believe it is fair that that person can see who they are talking to. If they don't like the way I look, what's the point anyway? Hiding your appearance isn't going to help in any way.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 141
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:17:53 AM
This is another reason why I like o.k.c.pid , because it kind of gives a preview of the messages, not just saying they messaged me and I have to click every one and open it lol.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 142
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:33:03 PM
I will never cease to be amazed that so many otherwise "sharp" people can't figure out such a simple thing...

Is it any wonder that so many people seem to have such "bad luck" with OLD?
 Stonesfanatic
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 143
pictureless profiles
Posted: 5/16/2015 7:01:17 AM
Or maybe it's a fake profile?
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 144
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/27/2015 11:01:45 PM

Although I would message someone without a picture..I would NEVER again meet someone without a picture before hand...and what baffles me about POF is you can't have a picture without you in it..like just of a car, house, boat etc.but it's ok to have no picture at all..how the hell does that make sense??


It does not makes sense to me when a person is requesting, "You must have a picture to contact this user", yet they don't have a picture on their profile, lol
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 145
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/28/2015 3:52:52 AM
^^

I agree. It's ludicrous. However, it isn't forbidden, here.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 146
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:09:44 AM

I've spoken with people who have no pic but if they refuse to furnish me with one it doesn't go far


I think on the forum side it doesn't really matter if there's a pic, however on the dating side....pftt....there's a reason. You can have a hidden pic and attach it with a message.
What erk's me more than no pic is the bait and switch pics.....you know the one from the cruise in 2003 and when you go to the profile you're wondering who these other pics are of because there's no way it's the same person.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 147
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/28/2015 2:22:22 PM

What erk's me more than no pic is the bait and switch pics.....you know the one from the cruise in 2003 and when you go to the profile you're wondering who these other pics are of because there's no way it's the same person.

It would piss me off too. In this age of selfies...no excuse. Bait n switch also covers photoshop or lifting another's pix, something we've seen in the forums :0(

I used to be friends w/ a woman who had an old cruise photo & if that was not enough, her graphic artist friend whittled off 40 lbs & 20 years. She never got anywhere w/ OLD doing that!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 148
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/28/2015 2:36:18 PM

You can have a hidden pic and attach it with a message.


To the best of my knowledge, that is no longer an option for men, thanks to misuse.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 149
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/28/2015 2:41:36 PM

To the best of my knowledge, that is no longer an option for men, thanks to misuse.


You're probably correct on that.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 150
pictureless profiles
Posted: 6/30/2015 12:15:37 PM

RonPol81:
Rotate and update them regularly.


It's always a good idea to rotate your pictures, it keeps the profile fresh and attract more attention.
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