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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > time has taken a toll      Home login  
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 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 26
time has taken a toll Page 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
^^^@Earwigs
Kissing rats has made you wise beyond your years! TY for adding to the discussion!
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 27
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 7:47:30 AM

Younger for the most part is more physically attractive but it doesn't translate into having a personality that has taken decades to develop which can be verrrry attractive and addictive to be around.


Yes ma'am. I'll take the personality and confidence only experience can produce over youth every day and twice on Sundays.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 28
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History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 8:08:29 AM
Interesting.."Men in their 50's ALL want a woman in their 20's"...ALL???
Well I don't..
But I do want..errr..prefer someone who at least as in shape as I am.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 29
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 8:28:50 AM
I sent the link to this thread to my friend for his perusal & amusement.

His response:

Seeing what people said, I'd probably add something like:

Most men are realists, and date within their league. Most know that they can't get the same woman they could attract in their 20's, and most also know that those women would likely be quite boring if they could get them. If a man still has a good body in his 50's, he will attract a similar lady. Yet, I'd admit that men and women do try to attract people a little bit out of their leagues - as we all go "bargain hunting"....
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 30
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 9:04:30 AM
msg 33:

Your message needs a few minor tweaks:

"Most men are realists, and date within their league"... Most men sell themselves short. They don't realize that nobody is really out of their league. There are some really repulsive men who get with some really attractive women and these men are no more attractive than the whipped nice guy's here on POF. Nothing precludes a woman, no matter how attractive, to be drawn by certain features of a certain man's personality rather than his age or looks. Are there women who reject men based upon appearance alone? Sure there are but there are also some who do not.

BTW, what is with the Karla Holmolka pic?
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 31
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 9:30:07 AM
antirepublican

BTW, what is with the Karla Holmolka pic?


What? Holmolka has a corner on the blonde hair market?

OT
I think men are very much real in their respect of a woman's body when they reach the age of 40 or so. Kind of think that women understand a bit quicker at maybe around 35 that men show aging a bit quicker.

For me, I am not ashamed that I have loose skin from losing weight, 23 scars from surgeries that have saved my life and gave me 2 beautiful children. Could I have plastics to make my boobs look high and perky again... maybe but truth is I am just so happy to not have been diagnosed with cancer last Dec. that I really don't care if they look like they need tube socks instead of a bra. If someone can not accept me for my LIFE wounds... he really isn't who I need in my world. To me it would be worse to look like a stringy chicken or in a perpetual state of surprise from a bad face life. lol

JMO
LePew
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 32
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 9:37:12 AM

Valentine's Day "Special Edition" Gender-Bashing Thread!

I agree!
Bashing and attention seeking and redundantly stupid thinking....surprise!
I like it that it's always a "friend" that brings up these subjects.
Well....thank god I can finally snag a smart guy...who is going to settle for me...lol.

I wonder what leaque...I am in.???
What leaque are you BA?
BTW......Lovely roses...did you get those for Valentines...we all are so envious and jealous of you.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 33
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 9:45:14 AM
I think most of us look pretty good for our age. Those that exercise, eat well, etc. still look good...for their age...and still single (most are anyway). I know I look good for my age and I too have scars, had two children, skin is wrinkled and some parts are sagging. Not one man has said "eat a salad, run a mile and call me later". And...there are a lot of happily partnered folks that are a bit overweight, over worked, have stretch marks and cellulite. I find that most people had very realistic expectations on what they attract and who they attract. And I also find that many that deem themselves "almost perfect" do lack one thing...humility.

Do the best you can with what you have, treat your body with respect. Not a single person on here is a 10. And the 10's (like models and their ilk) are only a 10 in the body department and just a body won't cut it in life. Substance will.
 Trynottobecreepy
Joined: 10/26/2014
Msg: 34
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 9:48:55 AM
"(also, I can say without fear: women get exponentially better in bed the older they are. That is non negotiable.)"

Not sure about women, but this is unbelievably true with men. Unless you prefer someone who humps like a crazed rabbit over sensuality.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 35
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History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 10:49:23 AM
Time takes a toll on all of us. Genetically, I have been fortunate, along with good advice from my "old-fashioned" grandparents who taught me how to treat my skin so I would not "look like a raising drying in the midday sun."

Men seem not to have gotten those kind of lessons....I have met men my age and younger who look like they could be my father -- and considering my father would be 90 years old this year if he were alive -- that says a lot.

My challenge is moving past someone who is physically unappealing to get to the core of who they are as a person -- in a romantic relationship, that is.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 36
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 11:03:47 AM
Many men were not encouraged to use moisturizers on their faces or even sunscreen. Most men's idea of skin care was an exfoliation when they shaved. In the 10 years or so there have been many products geared for men to take care of their skin plus the added push for sunscreen use for all of us. I remember slathering myself with baby oil and baking in th sun to get a tan, not great for my red hair, fair skin and freckles. But I've been using moisturizers all my life....men haven't...they didn't get the memo.

I think, as a whole, men in my age group look fabulous. Give me a Walts (a real man) with a great attitude any day over a egotistical guy who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips cause he still thinks he's "got the look" and is empty on the inside.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 37
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time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 11:09:08 AM
Smart men and women look for good matches to themselves. A 6 looks for a 6, an 8 for an 8 and so on. A 6 looking for a 10 is delusional.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 38
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History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 11:19:07 AM
At work, a woman commented on how "rough" Denzel Washington looked for a man in his 40's. I replied, "no, honey, he's 60, and looks a lot better than the 50 and 60 year old men we work with." Her mouth dropped open. I explained that it could be a cultural thing. Black people have always moisturized -- women and men alike -- especially men so they wouldn't get razor bumps, which are very unattractive on dark sin, and leave scars., or keloids.

Everyone's idea of what looks "old" or "unattractive" is different.
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 39
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 12:03:24 PM

BTW, what is with the Karla Holmolka pic?


So now women also have to worry about looking like someone else? THIS is what you choose to comment on? How does Blonde look like Karla Homolka? Please let me know. Blonde might not get the Canadian reference btw.

I am amazed at how offensive that comment was. truly offensive. sickening.
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 40
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time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 12:18:12 PM
Cindy Crawford recently released untouched photos of her, complete with stretch marks on her chest and her stomach (she's had two children).
I guess she wouldn't make the grade for so many of you. Her loss, huh?
It's sad and pathetic to read comments about how YOUNG you look at around 60 (this is to so many of the female Poffers here).
“There’s this youth culture that is really, really powerful and really, really strong, but what it does is it really discards people once they reach a certain age. I actually think that people are so powerful and interesting – women, especially – when they reach my age. We’ve got so much to say, but popular culture is so reductive that we just talk about whether we’ve got wrinkles, or whether we’ve put on weight or lost weight, or whether we’ve changed our hair style. I just find that so shallow.”

Annie Lennox, who turned 60 last Christmas Day.
 Trynottobecreepy
Joined: 10/26/2014
Msg: 41
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 12:27:25 PM
We are indeed a youth worshipping culture. The exception I see, here in Western Canada at least, is among the First Nations population.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 42
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 12:33:43 PM
OT, The Homolka reference was a jest IMO.

I like the comments on Cindy Crawford, I saw her pic this week & was happy that someone showed the truth.

The inside is the best part of a person, I say be happy & try to be healthy.

My friend is real & really made this comment.

My interpretation of what he said is a wise man will look w/I his league, other wise, he's just spinning his wheels to stroke his ego. I don't like the concept of leagues per se, but on some level they do exist, loosely IMO.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 43
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time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 12:37:01 PM
People say all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons.

I usually squint and close one eye when I hear something like "The smart men look for women who have a few miles on them, stretch marks, saggy breasts, grey hair and all - as they know that time has taken a toll on their bodies as well."

I notice that there is a personal qualifier in there. The speaker could be claiming to associate intelligence (something positive) with something questionable (ignoring ones real desires), and be doing so either to convince themselves, or to "suck up" to whoever they are speaking to. Perhaps I am the suspicious type, because I've had so many experiences wherein people did exactly that sort of thing.

I don't know what's "smart," and I reject the idea that choosing a mate based on some calculation of one's own status is as logical as it sounds to some people ( not to mention totally lacking in romance).

Something to look at in this very old arena: there's more than one basic goal that people have when hunting up company.

I'd bet that if a poll were taken, and honesty was insured, that a majority of those who sought only younger bodies, weren't looking for MATES. Just short term personal entertainment.

For myself, I don't do any work to "adjust my standards." I've been through hell, trying to make things work with incompatible people, and I just wont do it anymore. And I can't imagine anyone more than, oh, twenty years younger than me (61) being experienced enough to get along with my life, and I'm skeptical about more than a ten year gap.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 44
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 2:24:00 PM
slowitalldown

Thank you for saying it.


So now women also have to worry about looking like someone else? THIS is what you choose to comment on? How does Blonde look like Karla Homolka? Please let me know. Blonde might not get the Canadian reference btw.

I am amazed at how offensive that comment was. truly offensive. sickening.


I found it very offensive myself. My ex went to school with Bernardo. I guess when people make comments like this they don't understand the scope of how it touches other peoples lives besides the intended target.

LePew
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 45
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 3:16:30 PM
I am beginning to think that some of the "women" who cry "gender bashing" so much are actually men.
There would be no site at all if the broad definition used by some was in fact reality.
All questions can be interpreted as gender bashing
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 46
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 4:52:13 PM
I didn't notice any gender bashing in this thread...care to point it out. And I don't think there are any men posting as women or vice versa on here...do you know how hard that is to do successfully?

And time has taken its toll on us here...both genders. Not one single poster in this thread is immune. I might add, I don't much care for the expression - time has taken a toll.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 47
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time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 6:01:46 PM
Men get stretch marks, their skin sags, etc., it's not really something you have control over, you can be any size/shape/exercise/not exercise, whatever and have the effects of aging. It's not just your outsides either, the bone shape is no longer the same. People who don't do a thing and people who do everything, are still going to age and while we might like to brag, people know the difference. Hell I'm lucky I have skin, or still breathe, all the physical ugliness has long since past bothering me. These passivise/aggressive bashes or people who will date us in spite of our oh gawd why have I aged??? lack of staying 20 years old, are not something I worry about. I look like this, this is what I have, it's who I am, no amount of time is going to be spent of feeling like I just shoot myself for not being what someone else thinks I should.

And of course the often said, by me, is that people who look like me also date, fall in love, get married, have a good life. So really it's a moot point, isn't it. You may not like what life & DNA gave you, but it's your life, you really don't have to try to one up others or feel inferior, you can be you, enjoy your life as it is and find love. There's just as many good looking people of all ages around who are alone and wondering why, as there are us poor old Morlocks.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 48
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 6:13:14 PM
All of my friends who are divorced who are pretty but at least 20 pounds "overweight" always have very nice long term "boyfriends and kind loving relationships. A couple remarried. The traditionally "attractive." ? Not so much.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 49
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 6:50:21 PM
I believe at least a certain percentage of the "traditionally attractive" play several men at a time .The guys know this,and adjust accordingly.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 50
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/15/2015 6:52:24 PM
Yes , we adjust , we do not bother with them .
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