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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > time has taken a toll      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 51
time has taken a toll Page 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

Black people have always moisturized -- women and men alike -- especially men so they wouldn't get razor bumps, which are very unattractive on dark sin, and leave scars., or keloids


Yes, I have noticed that, and I have to say, all black men my age or older that I have gone out with looked much younger than their caucasian counterpart. I thought that maybe the melanin in their skin also would have protected them from sun damage, but yes, I guess moisturizing also helps. My young black friend always has several moisturizers in his bathroom, and his skin is always so soft and supple, just gorgeous. He does have a problem with ingrown hair, so bad at one point, he got a really bad and painful infection.

The reason why attractive people tend to be single longer - because they have lots of options and don't mind sampling them, no rush to settle down with someone who is not 100% what they want. When I was younger (late teens, early 20s) and had low self-esteem and felt unattractive, I was grateful for any guy who would give me attention, and I always had a "boyfriend" because I honestly thought that this was the best I could do, and if he were to leave me, nobody else would want me. True story. Now I look at these guys and think whatever did I see in them, they are not even my type.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 52
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:07:29 AM
My love is 51 and I'm 41. He wanted a women closer to his age who is attractive and intelligent: he saw that I'm both. He also appreciates that I'm cultured and that I'm very kind. He resembles what I wrote in my profile for the type of man I sought. We're highly attracted to each other on all levels and every area that comprises a fasnicating and long-lasting union.

I don't know think it's true that all men in their fifties wanted 20 something women. My love certainly isn't.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 53
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:32:19 AM
He didn't want anyone 51.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 54
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 10:07:49 AM
^^No, he didn't. But, he said he wasn't looking to rob a cradle, either. (We discussed our reproductive options -- which is why it made sense for him to eventually marry somebody who wanted more children.)

I was passed over by men my own age for younger women. I was considered "too old" and all "washed up." I was not particularly interested in dating somebody younger than me nor older than my current S.O., either.

We all have our preferences.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 55
view profile
History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 10:51:03 AM
Yes, I have parts that sag. My hair is going grey. Yet in real life, I'm often told I don't look my age. Last person to tell me that was a Dominican Nun who is also a psychologist. I really don't think she was trying to flatter me. Yet online my age seems to work against me. So I'd prefer to skip OLD in favor of IRL, however, I don't seem to meet anyone IRL. So here I am.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 56
view profile
History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 2:00:20 PM

Msg 1: "The smart men look for women who have a few miles on them, stretch marks, saggy breasts, grey hair and all - as they know that time has taken a toll on their bodies as well."

Msg. 33: Most men are realists, and date within their league. … Yet, I'd admit that men and women do try to attract people a little bit out of their leagues - as we all go "bargain hunting"....

Msg 47 (Igor): I reject the idea that choosing a mate based on some calculation of one's own status is as logical as it sounds to some people (not to mention totally lacking in romance).

I agree with Igor. It would hurt me to think a man chose me from a group of women he has clearly downgraded in his mind. It’s as though he were choosing “B” (me) instead of “A” (someone else) because that’s all he can afford.

I don’t want to be the woman he thinks is affordable, so to speak. I want to be The Woman he loves and cherishes. I want to think he had a private moment in his pants the day we met, and over time, he came to love my personality, values, and the way I kiss him.

I don’t mean to imply that any particular man can attract a “10,” assuming it’s possible to objectively ascertain who is a 10 and who isn’t. I’m saying that a person who specifically seeks a partner beneath a certain bar (for example, with stretch marks, saggy parts, and/or gray hair) is giving too much importance to appearance – their partner’s and their own. This is only slightly different than the game played by those who solely seek partners above a certain bar in appearance. How frivolous! How unwise. …

Msg 23 (Walts): So, when I look or interact with people I can understand that years lived come with a cost, and some gain. Wear and tear is just part of it. Experience and wisdom should also be part of it. Many do not gain any of that, which is more unattractive than anything.

I like your post, Walts. To me, the ultimate aphrodisiac is wisdom. Older daters may not be supermodels, but we can fit beautifully with someone who appreciates all that we are.
 lifeisgrand5
Joined: 12/29/2014
Msg: 57
view profile
History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 2:08:32 PM
I don't have a clue what anyone is looking for. I am not looking for a movie star. I can not handle obese. A regular looking guy who is well groomed and friendly.

I am not flattered when perverts want to have sex. I feel that they would have sex with anyone who says yes.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 58
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 3:13:10 PM

Most know that they can't get the same woman they could attract in their 20's, and most also know that those women would likely be quite boring if they could get them.


This was part of his follow up when I showed him the thread.

I do not think he would mind me sharing some of his history. He was married at a young age & widowed at a young age. They had no children. After she passed, he had consecutive long term relationships. This is an almost 20 year span.

Now he is in his late 50's & I guess wants his last relationship. So he is choosing wisely. Not just about looks, but the whole package. He is concerned w/ intellect, personality development, & character as much as looks. He understands at this point in life, the 50 somethings are exactly that--50 something!

I am lucky to have an introspective person such as him as a friend. I love him like the brother I never had!
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 59
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 3:54:37 PM

Men 50+ get passed over for younger men all the same. Too many men of the older generations have let themselves go and I get why they wouldn't be as desirable to the majority of women in their age bracket.


Aging affects women as well. I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere.


Women simply have more options these days =)

Some do and some don't.

The majority of women I know in their 50's are with men within five years of their own age. I know one that has a significantly younger boyfriend (she - 49 he - 26) . Now my question is: why aren't all these women with young men?

You need to get out and spread the word more.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 60
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 5:05:52 PM

Men 50+ get passed over for younger men all the time.


So do women of this age. Lots of great men over 50 that seek and get much younger women. Generally they seek pretty close to their own age.


Too many men of the older generations have let themselves go ...


As have many women. Lots of chunky women from teenagers onward. Many times I've been in a mall and looked around and thought "I look pretty good" compared to the teenagers, those in their 20's and 30' that have let themselves go. Obese has no gender or age barrier.


Women simply have more options these days =)


As do men.

I find that many men and women 50 + are more attractive, more intelligent, have more character, have more substance and are of higher quality than say the average 33 year old. Just Sayin. Style, class and attitude trump youth and arrogance every time....
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 61
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 6:52:14 PM
Nope, you didn't stike a nerve. Just being realistic. You will be old one day too so just giving you the heads up.

Men and women of all ages are defensive in some way or another, just sayin. You too will be replaced for a younger and prettier model. You should be okay for about 15 years so enjoying while you can. That's life.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 62
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 7:17:51 PM

Btw: Sad thing about many men over 50 is how defensive and bitter they become when they hear something they don't like. "Just sayin".


Men have not cornered the market on bitterness. There are just as many bitter women-here and in real life-when their life has not turned into a fairy tale fantasy that they dreamed of and expected to have.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 63
view profile
History
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 7:19:47 PM
why is this negative approach to dating stimulating?

These people aren't mice are they? They are human? some common sense? Anyone older does not need this stimulation---unless they are Rip Van Winkle and just woke from centuries of sleep.

Men or women who are looking for enduring relationships are not looking to hook up with people who are 30 yrs younger than they are. Look at any gathering of people......how many old folks have young mates?
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 64
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:41:04 PM
Time does take its toll, but what bothers me a bit is that many people my age have given up altogether on their appearance.
I LOVE people who have taken the time to style themselves, adapting what is on trend with what might look good on them, or suit their personalities. Many women I know do this and do it well, but it seems the men have given up on their individuality and have just let it all go. (Not a judgement, just an observation).
It's the women who seem to have the glint in their eyes, and I think it's because we are more open to what is new and modern, and we apply it to ourselves if we feel it works for us. If not, they develop a style that is unique to them that feels comfortable.
There are so many ways to look! I am going to re-style myself soon, as soon as these college courses are out of the way.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 65
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:50:39 PM
The tired old argument or fear-tactic that women are going to be "traded in" or "left for" a "younger model" speaks volumes about the people who make those statements. That's why I would never date a guy who is fixated on a woman's age, like many of the older guys who contact me, who only want much younger women. Those guys might the type who will try to "trade in" their wives for a "younger model" once they are "too old", and go for their favorite age bracket again. I avoid men who are only willing to date younger like the plague.

Young men who like me know I'm older and that I'm not as physically perfect as a 20 year old, and they are FINE with it. So they are already more "forgiving" than older guys who refuse to date women their age, and even though the younger guys themselves could very easily get girls their age. Had this discussion with a very handsome young guy the other day. He said he just is attracted to older women, always has been, and he even watches mature porn only, lol. He actually thought I was "too young", he really liked women in their 50s and 60s. There is someone for everyone.

Newsflash - there is no guarantee for ANY relationship to last forever. An older man can leave his younger or same-aged wife, happens ALL THE TIME. A younger man might get worried about the age difference with his older girlfriend/wife and call it quits - it happens. A woman might leave her husband for somebody whom she clicks with more - it happens.

If someone is that worried about being left, best not to get into a relationship at all. I thought I'd be married till I'm old and grey , but I filled for divorce after 20 years of marriage. NObody saw that one coming. I will never enter another relationship taking "forever" for granted.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 66
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 12:27:11 AM

Had this discussion with a very handsome young guy the other day. He said he just is attracted to older women, always has been, and he even watches mature porn only, lol. He actually thought I was "too young", he really liked women in their 50s and 60s.


Reading your posts are like looking at the front page of the Enquirer in a checkout line. You don't want too, but you just can't help but look to see what crazy shyt they come up with.


Ok....I just have to know in what scenario this "conversation" took place. Check out line at Kroger? Walmart? Base commisary? Dr. Office? Work at the nurses station?Total stranger? Who says something like that in an ordinary conversation?

You: It is a beautiful day isn't it?
Him: Why yes it is....I'm actually attracted to older women myself, I really get off on mature porn if you know what I mean, you know women 50 to 60, to bad you look mid 40ish or I could do you. I understand there is a chance of rain tomorrow though. ????????
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 67
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 4:00:28 AM

Btw: Sad thing about many men over 50 is how defensive and bitter they become when they hear something they don't like. "Just sayin"


Oh? Like what? That guys in their 20's are more vibrant, have better bodies and are generally sexier than guys in their 50's? Not really. That's like saying, "Guys who are millionaires generally can buy more things than I can." It's reality. How can I be bitter about reality. I agree with you. Because I was in my 20's at one time - believe it or not.

Women I know in their 50's had a chance to date a much younger guy and the common consensus is they loved it. At the time. They would never change that, but despite how amazing these guys were, they went back to guys their own age. Crazy, I know, but there you have it. They are under the impression that they actually preferred the company of someone closer to their own age. Even in bed!!! Madness I tell you.

In the end, all it is is preference and nothing more. If you want a younger boyfriend (a whole eight years younger - gasp!!!) or anyone else, I wish you joy of it. But I find it really odd that 33 year old men can't keep up to you - oh well, must be the water in your area. I was with a 23 year old when I was 32, but I didn't tell everyone who would listen how awesome a younger woman was - because no one would care.

But you're bound and determined to tell us old decrepit men that all older women want younger men - and we all know that this is simply not true.


That's all, I'm done here.

Can we get that in writing?
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 68
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 4:23:22 AM
mermaid_of_the_sea_

Too many men of the older generations have let themselves go and I get why they wouldn't be as desirable to the majority of women in their age bracket.

For all of us "older people" here (Eric's term), I'd like to point out that in the US, sadly, my age group weighs less and is more active than those generations coming behind us.

Maybe things are different in BC, particularly Vancouver. Lots of walking/biking/public transport there. What do the "older people" do? Sit at home and eat? A lot of rain and it gets cold. Idk.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 69
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 4:30:50 AM
@Karma
Youre a nice lady but there is much about your posts that dont add up.The other day you were claiming your men were regular guys with families.Not. Kids with very little experience.Youre teaching.So the kid preferred porn with older women.What man that is getting any prefers porn over the real thing?

Porn is for people watching what they can't get irl.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 70
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 4:36:05 AM
Could be that when we older women are replaced by the younger, prettier model, we are relieved not to have to deal with the sagging paunch, balding hair of that older guy anymore, so boring and predictable in bed after so many years. So let her have him.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 71
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 4:41:05 AM
I think that men watch porn when they are getting any, and when they are not. Often the wives will watch it with them so that is a sweeping statement calguy14. Some men do think that sex should be like it is in these films and with the sort of girls as well that appear in these films. They are porn conditioned and are disappointed with real life women, is what I hear. .
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 72
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 5:00:36 AM

Maybe things are different in BC, particularly Vancouver. Lots of walking/biking/public transport there. What do the "older people" do? Sit at home and eat? A lot of rain and it gets cold. Idk.


Us old farts fish, drink whiskey, and puff the illegal shiat. We've been doing it for decades. Oh, and we wear gortex and fleece too. Phuck the idea of "looking good". We just feel good.

Oh, I never paid a half of million dollars for a 500 square foot condo either. I don't know if I'm any smarter than the younger ones but, I am definitely not as dumb.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 73
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 5:34:43 AM
Walts:

Us old farts fish, drink whiskey, and puff the illegal shiat.

Great to know life is no different there, other than the gortex (which I'd never heard of).

You all do just what we do. I fish here (some fish in the water and here, too), drink (wine spritzers now, decided to lighten up) and plenty of smoke. Still illegal there, too? I thought Canada was far more progressive than that. Too close to USA, I guess. Sad. Guess I'll scratch my plans to move.

So the "kids" are buying up half-million dollar condos there? We have a lot of those here (and priced higher) that are mostly second, third, fourth homes for old people just like us. Still think it's ridiculous.

None of us look good. That's the great thing about living on the beach. It's either too hot/too cold/too windy/too rainy/a nor'easter/hurricane to bother. I love that.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 74
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 7:07:07 AM

Could be that when we older women are replaced by the younger, prettier model, we are relieved not to have to deal with the sagging paunch, balding hair of that older guy anymore, so boring and predictable in bed after so many years. So let her have him.


You know Petula, you could have been replaced because of your sagging paunch, bad hair, you're boring and predictable in bed. You and other our age (myself included) aren't what we used to be either. Time has not been kind to you or any of us.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 75
time has taken a toll
Posted: 2/17/2015 7:30:41 AM
@petula
I guess it is sweeping....I don't understand it.It likely does create unrealistic standards for looks...and performance of both sexes.Not a fan of the effects that I perceive.
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