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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Bad sex vs no sex      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 76
Bad sex vs no sexPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
The problem is that you took a snippet of a conversation, and drew a conclusion which has very little to stand on.

Preferably, yes, it would be better if he could get it up. Some women thrive on penetration and thus soft just won't do for that purpose. You can't get to nerves you need to strike in there if such vacuum and force is not produced, especially if she needs to be completely filled up for that to happen (that's why some women have a preference for a specific length and width). In her situation, she may one of those die hard riders, who just needs it to be hard, so she can ride it to death. In that scenario, yes, all he needs is to be able to get it up.

The point being that, it is a situation that is unique to her, not to all women.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 77
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Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:14:55 AM

she may one of those die hard riders, who just needs it to be hard, so she can ride it to death.


giddie up horsie


The point being that, it is a situation that is unique to her, not to all women.


So true
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 78
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 11:09:58 AM
What you don't get is that even a man
with hard core ED(no pun intended)
might be much better
in bed than someone who can get it up,
But who is clueless about how to please a woman
as long as he KNOWS a woman's body and really
enjoys giving oral sex as a lot of us don't
get off from penetration alone.

So for me taking a hard on (and cum)totally out of
sex would suit me fine. : )

As for my casual sex comments,I'll clarify
That there IS a difference between ONS' s
And FWB's! Friends care but might not want
a commitment. Better Ms Micki?

I meant sex with random strangers is just plain
too risky with all the STD's out there not to
Mention emotionally meaningless.


Especially with 50,000 new cases of HIV a year still!


Next time Salty instead of flowers why not just
leave some cash on the nightstand! : )
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 79
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 12:01:18 PM
It’s surprising you want to advertise what a lousy lay you are. :/
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 80
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Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 1:34:28 PM
Next time Salty instead of flowers why not just
leave some cash on the nightstand! : )

Hearton64,

Why would you put a man up too that? You think I should have paid her for her time, as if she were a prostitute? I thought flowers would mean more to her. Money offered in a situation like that can have nasty ramifications, unless it's agreed upon straight up before anything happens. I've heard of at least one scenario like that where money was offered after sex, I take it as a sarcastic gesture and the s^1t hit the fan big time. And how could a man with "Hardcore ED" as you put it really have any upper hand on a man who could get it up fast and have an erection you could hang a full ice cream bucket off of? Any man with ed, is restricted to using his mouth, fingers and perhaps a toy to get a woman off, as no limp di^k can go into a vagina.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 81
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 1:47:14 PM

I've heard of at least one scenario like that where money was offered after sex, I take it as a sarcastic gesture since it wasn't expected, and the s^1t hit the fan big time.


Perhaps she was so disappointed, she wanted to be reimbursed financially for being used as a "cum" bucket?

Just a thought.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 82
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 2:38:07 PM
Any man with ed, is restricted to using
his mouth, fingers and perhaps a toy to
get a woman off, as no limp di^k can go into a vagina.


Hahaha! Exactly my point.


And how could a man with "Hardcore ED" as you put it really have any
upper hand on a man who could get it up fast and have an erection you
could hang a full ice cream bucket off of?



You're a trip man! I can't seem to get thru to you
on any level.

Most of us not only want that, we need that to get off.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/sex-study-female-orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289

About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from
intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys,
hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any
circumstances.


So really a d I c k is great and all but.....fingers,toys and tongues work magic!

Do you get it yet????

Idk maybe if you had more LTR experience
and actually cared about your ONS chicks
you'd already know this stuff.

Just do your next conquest a favor.....don't assume your hard on is enough.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 83
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 4:18:52 PM
I don't know about the bad sex versus no sex.

But at this stage of the game I'm guessing bad sex versus good sex would be a non issue as long as it was sex! :) ymmv
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 84
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Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 4:58:48 PM
Just do your next conquest a favor.....don't assume your hard on is enough.

Awww, I never have assumed that. That's why like I said in a previous response I love to focus on doing oral and fourplay. From some of my experiences and going by what I've heard from other men, it seems it's often women who are timid or even reluctant in some cases to do oral on a man. Which is a dissapointment, if they won't reciprocate. And on a few occassions I've had lazy lovers who just seem to think that if their naked and laying there with their legs spread or bent over that, that should be enough effort on their part. That's a major dissapointment, because then their the ones assuming not myself.
 choppermonkie
Joined: 4/26/2014
Msg: 85
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:19:39 PM
I'll take no sex over bad sex. There's plenty of women who don't know what they're doing, and besides, getting off isn't the point. I can take care of that handily whenever the mood should strike me. It's how you get there and who you share it with that makes all the difference in the world.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 86
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:48:39 PM

And on a few occassions I've had lazy lovers who just seem to think that if their naked and laying there with their legs spread or bent over that, that should be enough effort on their part. That's a major dissapointment, because then their the ones assuming not myself.


Dude, this is true. I've been there. Done that. But. But. But. In the past I would have accepted that. Plainly relaying on the Duke to do the job. Then I realized that they were not going to turn on by some magic button. But as I began to play, to wake up the animal, the man, the grunt in us guys, I realized that the Duke was not enough. So... so.... so.... The wonders of fingers, the wonders of smelling a woman so hard it makes her p u s sy wet. She will not tell you with words. She will tell you with gestures that are not supposed to be discovered right away.

You push a couple of times and then you stop. Wait for her lingering fingers, searching for adventure, searching for what she had, or didn't have just yet, but wants so much her pu ss y is just water and enlarged la bia.

You are in control now. Your woman wants it, but she is not going to tell you. She wants you to take it. She wants you to prove that you have the balls and start the search.

So even if she was a so-so lover, a horrible lover, it's up to you, the guy, the sausage, to tread her like an stradivarius instrument, tune her, excite her, and you can turn a mediocre lover into a well tuned connection machine.

Caveal, women with evangelical issues, may not apply.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 87
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 2:56:50 AM

But that said, it's us men who do the majority of the thrusting, as it's more a male thing.
So do you see where I'm coming from? I haven't ever heard of sex being done any other way,
as it's the thrusting sensations that create the added stimulations to both partners genitals.
That keeps both aroused and should ultimately lead to orgasm, hopefully for both.

So with men doing all this, how can we suck at sex?


This statement is where you assumed thrusting was enough and
stated as long as you're doing that how can you/men be bad at sex?
And it's also what started this debate.


Awww, I never have assumed that. That's why like I said in a previous response
I love to focus on doing oral and fourplay. From some of my experiences and
going by what I've heard from other men, it seems it's often women who are timid
or even reluctant in some cases to do oral on a man. Which is a dissapointment, if
they won't reciprocate. And on a few occassions I've had lazy lovers who just seem
to think that if their naked and laying there with their legs spread or bent over that,
that should be enough effort on their part. That's a major dissapointment,
because then their the ones assuming not myself.


If A woman is laying there with he legs spread she's hoping
you'll go down on her so she can come before you do with your
thrusting.

Some of us do oral and accomodate our lovers orgasms
Over getting our own orgasm or receiving oral sex.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 88
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 3:21:33 AM
"I'll take no sex over bad sex. There's plenty of women who don't know
what they're doing, and besides, getting off isn't the point. I can take
care of that handily whenever the mood should strike me.
It's how you get there and who you share it with that makes all the difference in the world."

Exactly,only difference is we have the option to use a toy!

I've had sex within relationships for 34 years that added
up to 1000's of times. I wonder though had all those times
been with a different man everytime I was horny and didn't
choose to masturbate and instead had a ONS how I'd be perceived
if asked and answered honestly what my "number" was!
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 89
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 4:31:51 AM
Guys can get toys as well if so inclined,never used one,I like the grind.IMO,too many women are using their toys as a protective shield against men.For some women it appears to be hindering their ability or desire to have a relationship.Does BOB kiss you good night?
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 90
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 8:22:24 AM
"IMO,too many women are using their toys as a
protective shield against men.For some women
it appears to be hindering their ability or desire
to have a relationship.Does BOB kiss you good night?"

And from what information do you base your opinion on?

I actually only use my vibrator about once a month.
Used it yesterday actually trying to jump start my period.:)
My live in S/O takes care of my sexual needs, as I so his,
the way I like it and kisses me goodnight. : )

On top of that I get nightly full body massages!

Yes! Heavenly! No complaints!

Who here said they'd rather use a toy than be with
a man who knows his way around a woman's body pray tell?

Not I! But a combo of my fingers and his has truly made
masturbation obsolete and I don't need ONS's!
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 91
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 8:55:09 AM
No point staying in a sex based relationship if the sex is bad.

However, if I were going thru a lengthy dry spell and someone offered a one time thing who I knew wasn't great in the sack I'd say yes. I mean, I can self serve just fine but it's nice to kiss, feel, taste, etc another person for real vs in your imagination.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 92
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 9:02:40 AM

My live in S/O takes care of my sexual needs, as I so his,
the way I like it and kisses me goodnight. : )


I commend you Hearton, that after 6 years to still have a very active sexual life with your partner.
I hope that my relationship with my partner stays as active as yours after that time. So far, we're still in a honeymoon stage, even after moving together.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 93
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/10/2015 11:09:17 AM
Glad to hear you're happy and enjoying living
Under the same roof and blankets!

She's a lucky woman in that you're
an evolved man
who gets it!

Btw there's a way to hide your profile
From the public so you don't have to
Deal with anyone outside the forums.

Check for it on your profile edit page.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 94
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/11/2015 11:09:26 AM
@hearton #90
You are already in a relationship.I meant women that don't bother seeking out a man because they rely on or prefer toys.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 95
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Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/12/2015 4:40:07 AM

.I meant women that don't bother seeking out a man because they rely on or prefer toys.


Do you seriously think a woman would not seek a relationship with a man because she prefers her toys?!!
That's hilarious!!

How about.....she isn't seeking a relationship because she just doesn't want one??!!
Some women (and men) just have no desire to be in a committed relationship at certain times in their lives....and instead of having ONS's....they choose to use their toys.

If a woman is telling you she prefers her toys to you.....that is a reflection on YOU....not her! LOL
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 96
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/12/2015 8:15:43 AM

I meant women that don't bother seeking out a man because they rely on or prefer toys.


No, it doesn't work like that like. The toy is not a substitute for a relationship, it's a substitute for a guaranteed orgasm. So are you implying that all a man can provide is sex, and therefore if she's taking care of it, then there's no need for a man?

You can be in a relationship and still utilize the toys, if the sex is not all that, or as an enhancement to the already awesome sex you're having.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 97
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/14/2015 3:51:00 AM

I meant women that don't bother seeking out a man because they rely on or prefer toys.

I'd actually agree with you - if a toy could mow the lawn and change the oil in my car, it would be win/win.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 98
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/14/2015 6:16:32 AM

Ive never had bad sex. Admittedly Im easy to please but I cant remember having bad sex. Only thing that would make it bad is if I didnt like him in which case no sex wins every time.


And also, maybe the men you were with were genuinely happy to be with you as you were with them. That kind of thing tends to feed off itself, so cool on you - you inspired sexual joy from the men you were with.
 carleyrenee1
Joined: 12/13/2014
Msg: 99
Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/14/2015 12:17:12 PM
some of these young guys are clueless. they leave you high and dry. selfish!
 Livingsaint
Joined: 8/14/2013
Msg: 100
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Bad sex vs no sex
Posted: 3/20/2015 3:13:49 PM
What happened to the 3rd option of EDUCATING them?

Surely a sex based relationship is all about sex and what gets each other off? Communication is as important in that kind of relationship as in any other, and has obvious & vital benefits too!
How somebody kisses is a HUGE thing for me, and it could make or break the whole sex session. If they kiss like an epileptic guppy fish for eg, I will grab them by the chin and explain in great detail how to do it much better.lol

May sound a bit control-freakish, but I have done my little bit for all their sex partners after me (Praise me!YAY!).
No point moaning about so & so not being a mindreader and not instinctively knowing that if they did (fill blank here) you'd pop like a cracker at a Chinese wedding!
C'mon! You don't have to be a sex guru to 'make bad' sex into 'better sex'! Lets help each other out!lol
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