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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?      Home login  
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 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 26
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I would just pass them by is all. If a man does not use proper grammar and spelling, I can imagine how he may talk in real life. The odd spellling error is not a problem. Some people have a problem with "their" and "there" and "women" and "woman". It is common.

If he cannot be bothered to use spell check with his online messages etc., it creates a very poor impression. I am a pedant and I freely admit it. It is a real dealbreaker for me. Almost illiterate men are not my cup of tea. I do not mean degrees in this and that, just basic good language skills.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 27
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 3:04:29 AM
It's true, language does change along with the times. Things I was taught in grade school are no longer taught, it's of no importance anymore to use may I or can I, shall is just gone with the wind, and new words that were once slang are added to dictionaries all the time.

Pushing another Bill Bryson book, Mother Tongue is an interesting read. He goes into how language has changed through the years.
 midnite_icecream
Joined: 12/27/2014
Msg: 28
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 3:40:04 AM
Hi Mber, or is that Member...(whats that you were saying..kiddiiing).
I know my grammar isn't perfect, I'm not that bothered by it. I've taken shortcuts and dropped words and ended up not getting a point across correctly, that isn't good. I go by the philosophy of whether it makes sense to me..so I'm not a stickler. However, I'm not impervious to learning the odd thing.

"Thangs fr luking @ mi profl."

Thought he was swearing at you for a moment.

It's true, language does change along with the times. Things I was taught in grade school are no longer taught, it's of no importance anymore to use may I or can I, shall is just gone with the wind, and new words that were once slang are added to dictionaries all the time.

Pushing another Bill Bryson book, Mother Tongue is an interesting read. He goes into how language has changed through the years.

Agreed.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 29
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 4:56:22 AM
I have been known to respond to this type of gibberish with:

Sorry I only understand English.
or
Sorry I am not fluent in gibberish.


Yes I know it is rude to respond in that way.
But it can become tiresome.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 30
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 7:57:37 AM
My love's messages were far better than his profile. Even his text messages were beautifully composed. his voice match everything and his presence is as loving and romantic as were his messages.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 31
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:02:29 AM
There are settings/circumstances where a spelling or grammatical error sets my teeth on edge. In other situations I try to look at the larger picture.
And I continue to work very hard at NOT making pets of my peeves.
They are too damn hard to housebreak.
Cindy O
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 32
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:04:19 AM

Personally I don't think you need to lower your standards, but we may be seeing even more of this kind of thing. The company I work for wants people to use a kind of shorthand when noting customer accounts. For instances instead of writing "customer called in to check" I'm expected to write "cst clld in 2 ck". Occasionally I catch myself starting to use these when posting so, no, I wouldn't automatically assume the person was stupid or uneducated. If the profile looked like this might be someone of interest I'd ask why he's using text speak and judge that response.


It's interesting they want you to use text speak. Do you get in trouble if you use proper English?

Is there grammatically incorrect text speak, can words be misspelled?

You are supposed to use "cst clld in 2 ck".

But I use, "cus call 2 ck" is my text speak wrong?

The question itself, "justifiable Vs relax standards "is prejudicial and indicates the OP already has a strong opinion. This is typical of most forum postings. Posters want to appear neutral but they can't seem to write in a neutral way.

I can see using text speak if you are using a cell phone / tablet to communicate, the important thing to me is CAN you use proper English if you want to. I think it's more of a style issue with many, for myself I would use proper English but ignore some spelling errors in text communication.

I would be less tolerant in a profile, since the writer had more time to consider their words. It seems to me, some people are embarrassed at OLD, or uncomfortable at writing about how good a catch they are, and don't do a good job of it.

On a slight different note, since I have dated those with a very rudimentary grasp of English, I am accustomed to be able to discern the meaning and to makes allowances for poor grammar. It doesn't bother me as much as would poor judgement / lack of logical thinking / failure to see others POV would bother me. Perhaps that is my pet peeve.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 33
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:20:51 AM
"True....auto correct is a pain. It sometimes writes, "folks use there phones", instead of "their" phones."

My auto-correct is my brain, where I can distinguish when to use "there" or "their"
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 34
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 8:20:57 AM
On a related note, there is also FORUM speak.

Using terms like OP, POF, ONS, FWB, IRL, LAT, mods, etc, etc.

The first several months on this Forum, I had to google many terms like LAT or ONS.

(Then there are the British and other English speakers with their use of "going pear shaped" "buggers" a lot of slang I don't recall at the moment. They use these terms freely within the USA not always realizing not everyone gets their meaning.)

Most people THINK they are communicating, when in reality there are a lot of misunderstandings. It we take the time to explain all the short cuts, our post then looks unreadable. There is a large gray middle ground in this.

I tend to take it all with large grains of salt.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 35
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:23:07 AM
I often respond with:

"I speak English, not Acronym."

Yes, I know this is a smart-aleck reply.
It's tiresome to decode disconnected letters, numbers and odd punctuation.
Clear communication is important.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 36
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:25:18 AM
I have a startling claim that will totally rattle the texting gods. I have never used the number 4 to replace the word "for". Unbelievable and shocking, but true. Can any other English speaking internet user in the world make that claim? Do I need to use my fingers on both hands to count the number of people who do the same?
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 37
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:30:53 AM
I don't do "text speak". I'm just not into it and don't even try. My son and I text a few times a week as he lives a distance away, he signed off once with "Live you Mom". This has now become OUR sign off "Live you". It is what it is.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 38
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:46:18 AM
I've never done it. Anything that I might do that might resemble a teenager would freak my daughter out. That's her group's identity.

Not much different than it was for all of us.

It's interesting how text words have been becoming spoken slang. Look what happened to the word "baby". In text, it changed to bby or bb. Soon to follow was the slang "bae" (as in, for those who don't know, "my bae") used in text and now a commonly spoken slang word.

Those kids, you know, always have to have their "own" thing. When facebook started getting adult members they switched to instagram. When parent invade that more, it will be something else. They can't even make a smiley face like this :) anymore because it's too common. It's 'this' now (:

Not much different than it was for all of us.

We are supposed to be "old" and not like it. Yes, people, we are in that age group now that 'we' are the 'older' people. Those darn kids. The beauty of the English language will be lost on them and cease to exist. It's such a shame. Now someone turn down that music so I can hear myself think, and no, for the hundredth time, you are NOT getting your belly button pierced. That's fine. When you turn 18 you can go do it. Hey, don't forget to ... etc. etc.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 39
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:48:22 AM

I have never used the number 4 to replace the word "for". Unbelievable and shocking, but true.


Without a doubt earning a earmark in the journal's of internet speak lore! Would make an interesting scribe on your headstone.

"Endeavoring to Persevere....he never used the number 4 for...for."
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 40
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 9:53:33 AM

I have a startling claim that will totally rattle the texting gods. I have never used the number 4 to replace the word "for". Unbelievable and shocking, but true. Can any other English speaking internet user in the world make that claim? Do I need to use my fingers on both hands to count the number of people who do the same?


i'm guilty of using text speak when in a situation that is time sensitive

re using the number 4, this one i don't get, it's easier to continuously type from the QWERTY than sliding
a digit down to switch to the numeric, same with caps, lol, lazy biatch that i am

it's also just a matter of keeping up with linguistic drift, adjusting and realizing even the use of an acronym over
time becomes an actual word, e.g.; modem

fare thee well!
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 41
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 11:09:27 AM
My keyboard is beserk so sometimes my messages have glitches in them that do not reflect my thought process.

As far as Pet Peeves, do you want to be right or do you want to have a relationship? I'm talking a REAL Relationship based on individual & couple-dom growth, not just tra-la-la!

IMO, throw away all the don'ts & focus on 3 main "do's"!
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 42
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 11:14:27 AM
^^^I'm with Blonde. Some folks' checklists get very long. I don't have one other than please be single and relatively sane. I go from there.

If I started making all these rules about grammar (and I'm fairly decent and kinda picky about that), hell, what other ridiculous reasons can I come up with to cross a perfectly wonderful guy off my list? Really? It has come to this?

I'm thinking some folks are going to be single a very long time. That's great if they want to be. I've wanted to be for a lot of my life. Nothing wrong with that.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 43
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 12:16:34 PM

"I speak English, not Acronym."


^^^ Love it LiterateHiker

Pity most of the people this is aimed at would not understand.


All this being said, there are lots of fascinating people who are not wordsmiths.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 44
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 12:38:24 PM
I personally can't stand acronyms, abbreviations or text stuff. I find it very annoying. But I also find very annoying the grammar nazis. What has been my experience is that most grammar nazis are not really good writers.

I came across some manuscripts from Willian Faulkner and Ernest Hemingway. I started to read through them and what surprised me the most was how many typos they both had.

So, while I agree with the OP about proper punctuation and spelling things out, I think it can go overboard.
I even found over 9 huge typos and grammatical errors in the writing bible "The Elements of Style" by Strunk & White.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 45
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 1:16:44 PM
First (or should I say, 1st) put me in the camp with those that have trouble with poor grammar and spelling. Not being the best speller, nor grammarian, I actually married a lady who competed in the National Spelling Bee back in the 70's. She went all the way to D.C.

My main point, though, is how OLD has changed, at least for this self selecting population, our criteria in accepting or declining "date" requests. When I last was seriously in the dating pool the internet was a DARPA toy limited to our use on the University campuses/campi (non-commercial), and there was still a "cold-war" going on. Back then this sort of activity was either through friends, family, or direct communications. How well a person wrote probably wasn't in the top 5 or top ten list of exclusions. I know it wasn't for me.

And yet, here we are, 3rd millennium (had to look up how to spell 'millennium,' sheesh!) and we now get flummoxed over a person's shorthand rather than the content of his/her thoughts.

Unfortunately, I am (almost) as guilty as some. I despise txt-speak (crypto-talk) as much as many and poor grammar makes it hard for me to follow. But, I wonder, are we making too rash a character judgment of a person's depth based upon a shallow trait. As I said, a little guilty, too. (to? two?)

For me, personally, I am trying to expand my horizons to women who may not have the same depth or breadth of formal education that I have yet demonstrate a desire to learn and question. And if she sometimes uses "to" instead of "too," well perhaps she is to busy puzzling out whether time travel is possible or what we might do for each other over Christmas.

TK
[did ya see that, I used "to" instead of "too." Such a naughty boy! I can't imagine anyone wanting to date me now. Alas]
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 46
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 2:09:46 PM

CuriousInDB
OP's issue used to drive me crazy here but it didn't take me long to realize that there are a whole lot of brilliant people who cannot or do not punctuate/spell/construct sentences "properly". Who cares? There's much more to people than that. I'm not good at math.


Not good at math? Close the door, you’re excluded!

Unless… As Igor said, up above:


"well, I'm going to take a chance … , but they damn well better be extra good at [something sexual]!!"

 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 47
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 4:46:14 PM
^^^Can't even remember route numbers on the road anymore. I've ... been through a few things in the last few years.

What can ya do, ohenry? Not as young as I used to be.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 48
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 4:55:41 PM
How about "I could care less" when they mean " I could not care less" Americans say it all the time.
they do not seem to realise they are making a mistake and saying the reverse to what they actually mean lol!! Waiting for the Americans to come in that one.

I do not mind text speak and use abbreviations that everyone can understand, but do not text for any length of time ever, to anyone. I prefer a voice.

If bad grammar and spelling is a peeve then it is a peeve. I would not be relaxing my standards if it worries you. However what is worse is f u c k and c u n t and any man who uses those words to me or in front of me, instant passion killer.


 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 49
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2015 5:26:02 PM
petula:

How about "I could care less" when they mean " I could not care less" Americans say it all the time.
they do not seem to realise they are making a mistake and saying the reverse to what they actually mean lol!! Waiting for the Americans to come in that one.

I'll chime in.

It makes no sense but I still sometimes say it. It's colloquial.

I always thought you were American; never looked.

Do they say "Bob's your uncle" in Australia? I mean ... that one really puzzles me.
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 50
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Pelvis ?
Posted: 2/16/2015 5:32:03 PM
Mine is when people say " should OF " or " would OF " instead of the CORRECT " should've " , " would've " or " should HAVE " , " would HAVE "

It's mind boggling how many people do this

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I know, I know .... I shouldn't let it bug me so much but it's a good excuse to drink !
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