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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?      Home login  
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 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 101
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

One man who contacted me stated: "Thangs fr luking @ mi profl." I could understand if English is his second language, but it's not. To me, it's a HUGE turn-off if someone can't communicate properly

It's the issue with idiots thinking their phone is a substitute for a computer, and get too comfortable thinking that it really is. It's basically Texting. They get too comfy and just write abbreviations that then becomes another sub-language. I can understand having it as a "backup" to reply to someone you already 'know' on there for little things, etc. But yeah, regardless -- people need to drop the abbreviations.

either in written fashion or orally.

I'm sure if he was performing orally on you, it'd feel better than his writing like that.
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 102
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/9/2015 10:48:05 AM

Mine is when people say " should OF " or " would OF " instead of the CORRECT " should've " , " would've " or " should HAVE " , " would HAVE "

It's mind boggling how many people do this


What's mind boggling is when you point it out to someone who does this and they continue to do it anyway !

The f uck ?
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 103
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/9/2015 11:18:22 AM

I'm sure if he was performing orally on you, it'd feel better than his writing like that.


Holly crap...too funny!


The f uck ?


My mind has been boggled and pickled!
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 104
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/9/2015 1:40:45 PM

My mind has been boggled and pickled!

Pickled, huh? I could add another humorous "zing" to this one, but I'm not going to. See? I'm a nice boy, who's not going to make any sexually humorous comment about a guy pickling a lady... (patting self on back)....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 105
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/9/2015 6:37:23 PM

What's mind boggling is when you point it out to someone who does this and they continue to do it anyway !

Yes. No desire to improve is what really boggles my mind. It's not the mistake, those happen. It's more about the huge lack of interest to learn from the mistake and try not to repeat it.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 106
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/9/2015 8:40:51 PM
So true, Womeninprogress...so true.

Or....when the individual gets very defensive and hostile, and states that "I have always done (or said, or written) it this way, and nobody ever said anything to me about it.....until YOU DID TODAY!"

That's because the other "nobodies" were laughing at the person behind their back.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 107
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/10/2015 3:41:50 AM
Text speak has most definitely crept into common English for the younger set.
Two of my faves,variations on the spelling.

Kerazee.... frenzied ,from my daughter
Saw this on the kids phone,to the point.

GNRFN
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 108
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/10/2015 4:47:44 AM
Relax....you could be missing out on the man of your dreams!

I know way too many men that are intelligent, hard working, caring men that can't spell (or type) worth a damn. Good thing their girlfriends/wives didn't judge on their grammatical aptitude!!
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 109
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/10/2015 5:57:30 AM
^^^Sure. As far as texts, notes and the like goes, a little slack needs to be cut here.

But when I see profiles that are filled with spelling mistakes, shit grammar and text speak, I'll give it a wide berth. Your profile is your calling card to the dating world - the least you could do is make sure it doesn't come off as English is your second language.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 110
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Sphincter ?
Posted: 3/10/2015 10:11:48 AM
I guess if the spelling, grammar and so on and so on irritates the crap out of you, it's done half the work for you by weeding out the dirty rotten scoundrels with very little effort on your part!
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 111
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 4:03:58 AM
Funny.
I write horrendously myself .

On topic/example
A few years ago I recieved very intelligent " seemingly educated" written messages from a man. Then he opened his mouth on the phone and sounded ignorant / trashy.
F this/ F that. Talked slang ..Sounded like he never got past the 4fth grade in English.
Possibly a bad habit or talking how he thinks is "cool".
" Share cropper jargon" in every sentence.
Drove me nuts and if I hadn't talked with him on the phone a few times I would have met him.

While text speak in messaging is understandably irritating to many and confusing to others, How they speak IRL would be the big concern for me.

That particular message you received sounds more like a Nigerian scammer to me. Who knows?
Don't respond would be my advice.

I know intelligent educated people who text speak in all written communications. Times are a changing.
Relax a little, but that one was a bit to suspicious for me too..
 clarice46
Joined: 3/4/2015
Msg: 112
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 4:59:11 AM
For me a man would have to be a wordsmith to be fascinating. If he was inarticulate, used poor grammar then I would be turned off. Just the way it is. I do not care how handsome or successful a man is, if he uses bad language, and obscenities he immediately drops to a 3-4 whereas once he was a 8-9. A pet peeve of mine is men over fifty using the word "awesome". But again that is just me.

Peppermint petunias
A good case for hearing a voice before you bother to meet up. I would always insist on it.
.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 113
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 9:48:51 AM

While text speak in messaging is understandably irritating to many and confusing to others, How they speak IRL would be the big concern for me.

^^^^Exactly!
Modern technology has done us a few favors AND brought on some incredible nonsense. Everyone knows, "Smart phones" are NOT always SMART.
I learned a long time ago, how one spells when writing/sending a message/texting, may have a lot more to do with the electronic device in their hand, than how they may spell with pen and paper.
Don't jump to ant (oops, spelling too funny) conclusions with some messaging. TALK with a person and go from there.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 114
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 10:55:37 AM
msg 118
Don't jump to ant (oops, spelling too funny) conclusions with some messaging. TALK with a person and go from there.
That's very generous and democratic but maybe not always practical.

I would suggest evaluating the first message for it's content rather than it's construction. Chances are that even if Hemingway wrote it, the OP wouldn't want to respond. Most people aren't right for you no matter how they write.

Doctors have appalling penmanship but can be smart and some women still like to date them. Look at the profile. Who knows? The guy who sent you, "UR HAWT" might be a Professor of American Literature trying to sound younger.

Most educated people can tell the difference between text speak, uncouth coarseness and illiteracy at a glance. If you have some other reason to be interested, may be a reply with something like, "Do me a favour and use real words." His next reply will say it all. If he cleans it up then okay. If not then IGNORANT! -- next.
 deepthoughtlighthumour
Joined: 2/15/2015
Msg: 115
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 7:24:28 PM
Original poster, re: original post:

If you look like, and truly look like, the woman on your profile picture, then you are justified in doing anything. Sweat bricks over that none.

Should You Relax Your Standards? No, yes, who cares. If you relax your standards, you will get more dates but also more crappy dates. If you don't relax your standards, you get fewer dates, but quality ones, the ones that your standards allow for selection.

Your choice. Standards -- good dates, few, relaxed standards -- many dates, but they are generally more crappy.

I would say you'd come out about even. So why bother.

Plus, you can't relax your standards anyway. Can't be done. That's why most people over 55 or 60 never find a g-------d date to date with. Their standards they can't help but maintain, and they don't satisfy standards they historically used to be able to satisfy.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 116
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 7:27:01 PM

An Indian bride has walked out of her wedding ceremony after her groom-to-be failed to solve a simple maths problem, police said.

The bride tested the groom on his maths skills and when he got the sum wrong, she walked out.

The question she asked: How much is 15 plus 6?

His reply: 17.

The incident took place late on Wednesday in Rasoolabad village near the industrial town of Kanpur in northern Uttar Pradesh state, local police officer Rakesh Kumar said on Friday.

The groom’s family tried persuading the bride to return, but she refused. She said the groom had misled them about his education.

“The groom’s family kept us in the dark about his poor education,” said Mohar Singh, the bride’s father. “Even a first-grader can answer this.”


http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/indian-bride-walks-out-on-groom-at-wedding-cause-he-cant-solve-math-problem/story-fnet09y4-1227262157539
 deepthoughtlighthumour
Joined: 2/15/2015
Msg: 117
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/16/2015 9:39:05 PM
Well, man... don't keep us hanging. How MUCH are 15 plus 6?
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 118
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:24:20 AM
I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg. Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too.

So yeah... maybe RELAX that a bit... lol
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 119
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:15:53 AM
What makes you think that evaluating your expectations to see if what you expect accomplishes what you think it does, means relaxing your standards? Your expectations are supposed to accomplish something in selecting someone you are compatible with. I personally think spelling and grammar are important, but I was never a nazi about it. What if the guy is an absolute wizard at fixing things in your home? Would you rather have someone who can leave you a correctly spelled note telling you that or a guy who can just fix it for you? After my brief time here, my impression is that most of the dating complaints are due to people having weird expectations that have nothing to do with any standards. There is a point where poor spelling and bad grammar are just laziness, but your ability to create indicators of things that are important to you and to make good judgments and about people is reflected in how bad your dates are. If you have a requirement and you can't explain precisely what that requirement accomplishes, you are just shooting yourself in the foot. If all of your dates are bad, it's your fault for having requirements that do a great job in selecting people you won't like.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 120
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:12:19 PM

After my brief time here, my impression is that most of the dating complaints are due to people having weird expectations that have nothing to do with any standards.


I tend to agree with you. Welcome back, Abe.
 WONOFME
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 121
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/20/2015 5:16:37 PM
Typos can be forgiven but someone who can not spell or express themselves in proper language is probably hoping for a quick evening of pleasure (for them) or financial support.
One other thing that really gets me is the bathroom shot with the toilet in the background. Indicated to me that all the lights are not turned on if they thing that is a good representation of them. Or the messy bedroom in the background is another good one.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 122
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/20/2015 5:45:23 PM

but someone who can not spell or express themselves in proper language is probably hoping for a quick evening of pleasure (for them) or financial support.



Indicated to me that all the lights are not turned on if they thing that is a good representation of them.


Ouch......

So which is it for you?
 WONOFME
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 123
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/20/2015 5:52:54 PM
LOL
Typo! Guess I should proof read
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 124
My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/20/2015 7:29:53 PM

Should You Relax Your Standards? No, yes, who cares. If you relax your standards, you will get more dates but also more crappy dates. If you don't relax your standards, you get fewer dates, but quality ones, the ones that your standards allow for selection.

Precisely. It's just a matter of quantity vs. quality, basically. Depends on how many dates you want to have just to fill up your calendar. If that's your goal - by all means relax those standards.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 125
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My Pet Peeve - Is It Justifiable, or Should I Relax My Standards?
Posted: 3/20/2015 8:54:15 PM

Should You Relax Your Standards? No, yes, who cares. If you relax your standards, you will get more dates but also more crappy dates. If you don't relax your standards, you get fewer dates, but quality ones, the ones that your standards allow for selection.

Your choice. Standards -- good dates, few, relaxed standards -- many dates, but they are generally more crappy.


So....because someone isn't a good speller....it will automatically be a crappy date?

Hmmmm......think I'll stick with how someone treats me when judging the date!!
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