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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?      Home login  
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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I am lucky that she never wanted a warm fuzzy relationship


Are you afraid that if she keeps in contact, that she would be open to the warm and fuzzy and might try to win him back? If this woman was a life long friend from way back in their youth, would that make a difference in how you feel? Do you feel you might have to give him an ultimatum if the contact persists?

What I think is happening is she is lonely, so she's trying to keep in contact with him, with the hope of eventually meeting you as well, so that the three of you can become friends. And since they had a strictly platonic friendship (according to him) with no touching, she might feel being friends with his new girlfriend shouldn't be an issue, since there was never any romance. And the guy might want to maintain the friendship because finding new friends gets harder, the older you get.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 19
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Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?
Posted: 7/24/2015 10:30:21 AM

daynadaze
Is he using this as manipulation, so the you will try harder and he can get away with more?



professor
daynadaze

BINGO!

Your words were true! He turned out to be a fake.

She was strictly an activity partner and she encouraged him to date others for romance.


Professora, you need to explain this. In what way was he a fake? You said daynadaze was “true”, that means he was manipulating you? In what way?

We want to know
a) Were you sleeping with him?
b) Did he ever sleep with the first woman?
c) If so, was he still sleeping with her?

If he wasn’t sleeping with the first woman, but was with you, then everything is cool. He would never leave you to go back to her.

If he was sleeping with her, but quit before taking up with you, then yeah, you might need to worry.

If he was sleeping with both of you, first let me say I hope you were all using protection. And secondly, have you considered a menage a trois?

And if wasn’t sleeping with anybody (poor fella, my heart goes out to him), then what is all this drama about?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 20
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update
Posted: 7/24/2015 12:16:19 PM

Your words were true! He turned out to be a fake.

She was strictly an activity partner and she encouraged him to date others for romance.

Again, Professor, you're not being clear/making-sense. If he was fake in terms of lying, then how would she just being a Friend who didn't even like him in-that-way have anything to do with him being Fake?

Also -- you said originally:

Why would I care that his last relationship treated him coldly? ...... She now calls (and this does not bother me) to say she misses him.

His Last Relationship. Well, again, you should care only if it affects him in the present, as it would affect you. So take pride out of the way -- it should affect ya to some degree, yes.

So it's his Last Relationship and she still called and says she misses him -- and it doesn't bother you? That's really WEIRD for it not to.

Basically, she probably IS his "friend" who they both are still attached to each other in some way, him more liking her in-that-way, and she not so much (but misses his attention). Of course they're going to lie/fib about it -- as it was in the PAST that they were in "his last relationship", but now they're just friends -- so lying about the past seems OK since it's not the new gal's business in their mind.

Her missing him, and him showing earmarks of wanting to be with her (oh, just as an activity partner, I swear!) -- is something To be concerned about. Even when the last relationship wasn't that intertwining and had a lot of that "we're friends" motif -- if they were Not platonic though, and one misses the other even after -- you treat it just the same as if porking around was a staple part of their relationship diet, as it probably was.

Lesson: Don't get involved with guys who have their "last relationship" calling missing them, even when they claim they're just friends. If you don't want to deal with drama/fibs/lies/etc -- you should care about it. :)
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 21
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Posted: 7/24/2015 2:58:00 PM
Calling him on a regular basis does not constitute treating him coldly.
 anita_lay
Joined: 12/19/2012
Msg: 22
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Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?
Posted: 8/7/2015 4:11:21 AM

We want to know
a) Were you sleeping with him?
b) Did he ever sleep with the first woman?
c) If so, was he still sleeping with her?

If he wasn’t sleeping with the first woman, but was with you, then everything is cool. He would never leave you to go back to her.

If he was sleeping with her, but quit before taking up with you, then yeah, you might need to worry.

If he was sleeping with both of you, first let me say I hope you were all using protection. And secondly, have you considered a menage a trois?


Geez, O'Henry, pervy much?
You should apologise for that post. It's really disrespectful and none of your fvcking business. :(
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 23
Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?
Posted: 8/7/2015 5:53:17 PM
I am glad you found someone Professora. You've gone through your share of losers.

I am unsure of what you're asking. Are you asking us if you should care? Are you saying you don't care, but you think you should? I am very unclear about your post.

If I were you, I would suggest lunch with the 3 of you. I agree, if she is truly a friend, she should be friends with both of you, unless she has other plans , like starting a "touching" relationship with him.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 24
Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?
Posted: 8/8/2015 5:51:37 AM
Lunch with the three. PERFECT IDEA. All will be clear at that point.
Also if she declines or he declines that would be telling as well.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 25
Why would I care that his last relationshp treated him coldly?
Posted: 8/9/2015 7:55:38 AM
Maybe you really don't care, but have heard from enough people and over-thought it so much that you now think you're SUPPOSED to care.
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