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 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 26
Nearing 40yrs not 1 RelationshipPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
cool/horndog

He is 53 (turning 54 in July) and he has never been with a woman (dating, sex, or relationship).



Ok that is just sad !

Is he ok with it ?
Has he just accepted it ?

( shudder )
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 27
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/25/2015 8:56:34 AM
Oh he (Cool's brother) probably has Asperger's or is bi-polar (I'm a doctor, trust me) or smells or can't cook. Just kidding.

I know with my brother he was just not actively looking. He had a ton of friends as he jogged, hiked, painted, did photography, well read, interesting to talk to, world traveled, etc. but dating or mating just never seemed a priority. The gal he met is 10 years younger, fits his life style and has opened him up to new things. They're a good match and I've never seen him happier. Some folks are just late bloomers and some enjoy being on their own and leading a solitary life with no one to answer to.

And really OP, you could have had 2 divorces by now and 6 kids and dealing with child support, visitation and all the rest of the b.s. that many of your contemporaries are dealing with. So, take you time and find what fits you...take a step.
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 28
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/25/2015 9:02:12 AM

Some folks are just late bloomers and some enjoy being on their own and leading a solitary life with no one to answer to.


Yes I get THAT but to NEVER have experienced it ?

There's a big difference to getting fed up and deciding you're better off alone to never have experienced the GOOD part of being with a romantic partner....ya know ?
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 29
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History
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/25/2015 10:12:07 AM
Well I am 32 and I never had a serious relationship either. Pretty sure I will be the guy at 40 without having one as well.

The reason for this is because my emotional and psychological self is so broken. I want to be loved and to love back, but I don't think that is even possible at this point. I can't even think about making it through another year of life without getting severely depressed.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 30
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/25/2015 2:16:48 PM

In AUSTRALIA!!!!

You know.
The place with all the beaches and shrimps (that are really prawns) on the barbie.


And bears that are not really bears.

"I hate Qantas".


A KOALA IS A MARSUPIAL.
Yogi is a bear!!!!

A Koala will not steal your picinic basket.
Nor has a friend named Boo Boo.
Nor do they wear hats nor ties.


There are a few people here who are not fond of QANTAS current CEO.
But at least it has never crashed.
Watch the movie Rainman for proof.
Apparently they cut that scene out of in flight entertainment on other airlines.


_______________________

Trivia question

What do the letters QANTAS stand for?

Hint

First A = And
Second A = Air


 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 31
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/25/2015 9:52:24 PM
AllTheGoodNicknamesRGone... OP, ignore the people saying you're the problem. The dating game is rigged against men. It only gets harder the older you get, if you were never able to get sexual and/or relationship experiences in your youth. Plenty of guys are too embarrassed to talk about it, so kudos for that.

All you can do is try and find a nice understanding lady, it's better not too admit you have zero relationship experience really. It just doesn't happen for some people, you look a normal kind of bloke though. So hopefully you won't be single still when the big 4-0 comes along. And so what if you are? Let it all go and enjoy life the best you can.



Yep sounds good to me !!!!
Just roll with the punches ..
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 32
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/26/2015 12:50:09 AM
Op, have you considered that maybe you just arent interested in or attracted to women at all?

"I would say I am extremely attracted to women mentally and physically ...But seems i can only speak to them on general matters ..Have trouble going further...get extremely nervy and flustered .. "

So, did you se a counselor? No. You just intend to repeatedly complain publically, for what? Sympathy?

"Maybe deep down i know I don't have much to offer and that's why I don't bother, And realise you must have the X factor if you are going to succeed...Which I lack... "

A lot of x factors are missing but average people date, but you would know that if you got out of narcissistic thinking patterns and self absorption.You have control over how you view yourself. If you think you have nothing to offer, why do you think an "understanding" woman will date you? It hasn't happened, so there goes that theory. At minimum, you need to feel you have "something to offer", explains why nothing has happened.

"My real concern is even if i managed to get a date !!!
How do i explain to her a life without any relationship status ???
Oh i've got it !!! Maybe the answer is Monk !!!!! heheh.."

You really let conformity and self consciousness rule your life. What if you didn't care?


"No i think i am just immune to it all...."""

That is why you started a ton of threads about it, waste people's time by never listening to anything but pat you on the head sympathy. After years of inaction on your part, poor me for being average, you still just come here to passively think a " sympathetic woman" will rescue you. I just know women aren't attracted to people they pity. The idea women need to be charitable ( ignoring what they want)is not only sexist but unrealistic, as nobody has wanted to pity date you.
 Softpillow1
Joined: 3/12/2015
Msg: 33
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/1/2015 1:26:00 AM
My advice is to start playing the numbers, hit all the profiles dont waste your time looking for what you have in common just get dates where you can. What ultimately matters in a relationship is how your personalities mesh rather than having the same hobbies, jobs or interests. Also from my experience RSVP is better in Australia because people pay to contact each other, but it is the men who are paying;-).
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 34
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History
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/6/2015 9:01:24 PM
Notice that some insist that you have some sort of mental problem? Those who say that, I'd bet that they can't go one day, alone. Do you like parties, and social gatherings? Or, do you find them useless events like that just get in the way, and there's more useful ways to spend your time? I personally don't like them. I end up sitting and listening to people talk about mindless drivel that does not hold my interest. Do you find women too demanding? Or, they expect us to be in a constant read me mode.I know a good many people can't figure out (or don't want know) why some want to be non-conforming. I think conforming = dull. Why do the same thing everyone else is doing?

You're different. Stay that way. You get to be more interesting that way.
 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 35
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/7/2015 7:07:19 AM
Man, after 35 it should be all clear sailing. The demographics after 35 favor men. All you have to do is convince them you're not a potential serial killer and you should be able to get something off the ground.

My guess is that you've been pining for the blossoms that are just out of your reach. Zooey Deschanel is never going to be interested in your level 40 Paladin or your Aspie tales of woe, but that cute mouse-faced girl with the waiter's shirt and bowtie has been looking your way the past 15 minutes and you're completely oblivious.

I'm ashamed of my own gender sometimes.
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 36
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/11/2015 7:03:49 PM
Don't know why you would say after 35 it should be all clear sailing ???
From what I have heard the majority of us are meant to experience relationships/sex in our teens ...That's when the clean sailing ship is supposed to be " Full Steam Ahead". In our early yrs...
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 37
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/12/2015 2:35:23 AM

Man, after 35 it should be all clear sailing. The demographics after 35 favor men. All you have to do is convince them you're not a potential serial killer and you should be able to get something off the ground.


You're referring to the low-hanging fruit that'll accept crumbs (and that greatly populate the lower rungs of PoF). yes? Indeed. For a higher caliber person, you have to do more than just expect them to appreciate you because you merely exist-- especially in your middle age.
 stormy2728weather
Joined: 4/3/2015
Msg: 38
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/13/2015 3:34:49 PM
I don't know why folks are picking on the OP for remaining single. Many on here in his age group (+/- 5 years) have had a half dozen failed relationships, one or two divorces and a bunch of kids. This wasn't his thing. So what. He's not damaged, he's not bringing a ton of baggage, no alimony payments, no child support payments, no ex- wife or ex- wives. There are a lot of women that have waited for a relationship until a little older and this guy would be a good match. He doesn't have to settle, he doesn't need to select the "low hanging dripping" nor crumbs.
 nhtds231
Joined: 11/26/2014
Msg: 39
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:33:47 PM
Ok, maybe I am lost but confused. Are you saying that you date a lot and just haven't found one to be with long term. Or are you saying no dates, no relationships, no homemade cookies? If that is the case I would have to ask Why? Location, Hermit, all the women are aborigines with bones in their noses. What is the deal? Inquiring minds want to know lol
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 40
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:20:59 AM
Ok...Your not lost it means ... Hardly any date's at all.
Not 1 short term or long term Relationship..No not a hermit Just struggle with getting women's attention ...
Location maybe a problem but that's where I am at right now...
At my age now pretty much given up.
But hey as i wrote earlier,
I am running for a record here ....hehehehehe
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 41
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:05:49 PM
Don't listen to Eternity, she's more than trying to bring you down. It's false that all women have a large list of unrealistic demands that are impossible to meet. I never had a relationship in my life until I was in my 30's - I met somebody on this site a few years ago. Now that I'm approaching 40 I'm in better physical shape than I was in my 20's, and I have a lot more confidence, just from life experience. Look for women who enjoy doing the sames things you do and who share your values and beliefs. Smile and flirt with women you find attractive and if you find that they are smiling and making eye contact with you, it's worth asking them out on a date.

Smiling and eye contact are essential for getting a woman's attention. You don't need to look like a male model, but good grooming and dressing smart goes a long way. The scent of a good cologne can also get a woman's attention.
 nhtds231
Joined: 11/26/2014
Msg: 42
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/17/2015 3:25:12 PM
I don't think that is the record you want to be famous for holding. lol

You are probably missing signs/signals from women that are attracted to you. Find a cool wingman and go out. Get out of your comfort zone and take chances. Don't worry about asking someone out or getting her phone number. Relax, chat have fun the rest will fall into place.

Trust me, just because a guy dates a lot does not mean he is any happier then someone who does not date at all.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 43
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/18/2015 3:49:38 PM
It is a nice surprise to see a man that has avoided becoming a woman's serf , he is to be congratulated .
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 44
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/25/2015 6:52:43 PM
Demidar- It is a nice surprise to see a man that has avoided becoming a woman's serf , he is to be congratulated .


Cheers !!!! Thanks for the compliment.. I needed that ....
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 45
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History
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 4/25/2015 7:54:28 PM
Well, if you would like to REMAIN single for the rest of your Life....you COULD listen to those like our friend Demidar....

Or you could take some of the good advice that you've already been given in this thread....

If what you do now isn;t working, then change what you;'re doing....

Not more complicated than that....
 Robert_77_
Joined: 4/14/2015
Msg: 46
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 5/4/2015 5:01:37 AM
Seek help, Wheedled. If you're seriously considering forcing yourself on someone, these thoughts are not to be taken lightly.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 47
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 5/4/2015 12:15:35 PM

Well I've just turned 40 and haven't managed to get in any relationships and never had sex either.

WTF? LOL. Seriously? A 40-year old virgin? Never a gf even by loose terms (no pun intended)?? That's like saying "I never left my hometown. I'm going to get scared if I do."

You're perpetuating the fear -- it's brought on by yourself. It's enforced by society with the belief that gals don't like sex unless in a Relationship, or on the rebound but only with a super-hot guy. Regardless of that image society portrays, as with gals at the bar seeming to fall in line with that image -- that's NOT how it Actually is. At all.

Your first step is that you have to come to grips with the fact that you're Conditioned to see the world differently than it is, and your mentality has adjusted to it in concrete. The more you downplay that Fact, the worse you're going to be. I know, I know -- it's like me telling you that you can walk to the bank and withdrawl 10,000 pounds, free of charge. It's like I'm saying there's some "Get rich quick" scheme or something. That's how you've been conditioned. Realize that that's how you see it, you can't help it by Yourself, but that's NOT how it REALLY is.

After that, you'll need someone else to help you thru it. It doesn't take long for that light bulb to go off, as well as the condom wrapper, if you're in the right company. You have to go AGAINST your intuition. Against your comfort zone. To the regular single layman, it's understandable but just Difficult. To you, it'd be like a layman feeling he has to go up to a supermodel, ask her to take Him out to dinner, bang him on video, and have her even hotter friend join in.

Take the blue pill. You'll be glad you did in pure awe, as if you did go to the bank and got free money. You've been conditioned to get used to not having what one can have. Tsk tsk.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 48
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 5/4/2015 3:25:16 PM

I'd much rather have sex with someone willing or force myself on a woman I'm attracted to, if there was no way to get caught by the police.


Say what!?!

You did not post that?!?

You would rape a woman if you wouldn't get caught.......

You're a sick sob.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 49
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 5/4/2015 3:37:28 PM

You would rape a woman if you wouldn't get caught....... You're a sick sob.

I think he's joking, especially after looking at his profile...

Just turned 40 and never been in a relationship or had sex. Suicide feels like a more attractive option with each passing day.

Again - wow. Needs some help, right? But THEN, under "First Date"....

At your place, with some wine and the lights down low.

Gee, sounds like a guy with tons of social anxiety issues, scared of girls, right?? LOL. Someone with social anxiety issues would want to chat forever while being scared to meet. Not jump right over at her place to get some drinking going on with the lights off to "meat". :)
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 50
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 5/4/2015 3:42:15 PM

I think he's joking


So that makes it ok to say you would rape a woman if you wouldn't get caught. Pretty sick f^cking joke.
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