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 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 32
Do men just live to impress women?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I honestly don't think that most men go to the gym to "impress" women. I think some do it to compete with themselves (how hard can I go / how hard can I be), and others do it because it happens to be one of the best ways to relieve the stresses of the day (I'm talking the clean ones, not the ones that stick themselves with needles, etc to bulk up). There is also, if you do it regularly enough, an addictive component to it.

That being said, there are some men who get bulked up, and then use it to attract women, thinking that just because they see themselves as specimens of perfection, women should also behold the glory that is them.


There IS a common trend of cluelessly being with a terrible person, but because he's hot or great in bed, you're not even paying attention to the fact that he's hitting on the bartender right in front of you.


In my experience, I have had relationships with 2 separate men, who ended up being complete jerks. It eventually became abundantly clear that their motivation for being with me was purely financial. But they were also the most skilled at being complete gentlemen at the beginning. They knew exactly what to do and say, and in both cases, it took them a lot of work, because I wasn't attracted to either of them in the beginning. So it's not always the case of them being hot or good in bed that makes people overlook transgressions. Sometimes, they are just that skilled at masking their azzholery.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/22/2015 8:35:13 PM
If you believe that the purpose of the human animal is to procreate (rather than build skyscrapers and pen the great novel), then yes, men live to impress women in order to impregnate them. just like peacocks fluff their feathers.

why do some men and women go to the gym? some go to get healthy, some go as athletes needing a better body, and some go to look better. and what's the goal of just simply looking better? to get a reward for it. Those who have little to offer otherwise, or know subconsiously that they're average and don't stand out, yeah, they'd like to stand out with one thing--having the goddess/god like body.

if one wishes to find love, be loveable. Don't just look to get your noodle wet. want commitment, be worth commiting to, not just "Commited to a funny farm". There are attractive women who offer little, and are jerks. so, don't fall in lust with them.

most women don't like sex? no, they likely don't like lousy sex, and the good looking ones don't need to settle. sex is like money, you don't need to hand it off to everyone in order to make friends.

If you want love and commitment, you don't need to impress womEn (ie, plural). You only need to impress one. the right one.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 34
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/22/2015 11:20:51 PM

I've been single now for almost 11 years because I'm a nice guy who still believes in love and commitment. I've had no choice but to remain single. But there are some attractive women that really set my heart on fire. But being with them is just a pipe dream. It seems to me that unless a man is a complete jerk, his chances with attractive women are very slim.


4/10.
Would read again.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 35
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/22/2015 11:46:15 PM

One man posting in an online forum said he found that for every four hundred e-mails he sends to women, he will get maybe one or two positive responses back. Not dates, just responses. One response for every four hundred e-mails? Yikes! With results like that, it’s not hard to see that his chances of actually getting a date are pretty slim.


So, it appears you've taken his word as gospel. For *every* 400 messages he sends? I say the f*cker is probably greatly exaggerating. People tend to do that, you know.

Furthermore, I've asked this question dozens of times before, and no one has ever answered it. If POF has brought nothing but colossal failure to you, what the hell keeps you here?

Sorry, but if I were sending out "hundreds" of messages, and getting nowhere, I don't believe I'd see even a pinhole sized glimmer of hope.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 36
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:17:52 AM
^^^^^^^
The 400 messages thing might be an exaggeration but the lack of success men experience with POF can be clearly see in the profile review section. Almost all the the threads are of guys asking for help due to no replies. I am on here for the forums and I am doing fine in the lady department. I feel guys can do better IRL than with OLD. A lot of guys turn to OLD because of a decrease in their confidence with women IRL, so they turn to OLD because they think it might be easier and less intimidating. Well, It is actually more difficult for most. As you can see on here there are guys that complain but there are also women who think that because they are not flakes that must mean that most women on POF are not flakes. This is also untrue. I ask you this, If the people on here were good at this whole dating thing, would they need OLD in the first place?
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 37
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:56:21 AM

Organic Gentleman has been here before, in more intense form, spewing out some hateful misogynistic rants.


Oh wow I did not know that, that sucks. I thought he could just be gently guided, or prodded, back into possitive thinking - not that he was long gone. Sad.

Maybe his name should of been The Supreme Gentleman instead ;)
or Orgasmic Gentleman -
That's what I thought it was at first actually, was like double take, what?! Okay.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 38
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 5:35:48 AM

It seems to me that unless a man is a complete jerk, his chances with attractive women are very slim.


Actually Jerk was ruled too strong of a derogatory term in the ongoing case of nice guy vs mean guy whereby the mean guys have to also assume the title of "jerk."

Us mean guys actually prefer the term "stupid head," over "jerk." Please amend any further name-calling with the politically correct update.

Thank you
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 42
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:10:08 AM

One man posting in an online forum said he found that for every four hundred e-mails he sends to women, he will get maybe one or two positive responses back. Not dates, just responses. One response for every four hundred e-mails? Yikes! With results like that, it’s not hard to see that his chances of actually getting a date are pretty slim.


You can take that as a negative or as a positive. If 1 out of 400 women respond, that means you have cracked the code. There was a time where I was there. Although I did better. It was 1 out of 100. Still, sounds like a really sucky situation. It makes you want to quit right away. Or if you do the math, go nuts because it takes so long to create those 100 or 400 emails. And, if you mass email, then you will fail for those 400 as if it was one woman, and you will not know which one will work next.

But here's the good news. Once you understand the process, you will reduce those 100 emails to get one response to 10. Yes, by the time you send 10 emails you will get one response. So you send only 30 emails in one week. Talk to three women. Two will not pan out. One will. That is ONE solid date a week.

But you have to follow some rules. Understand some basic principles that most guys ignore, and never, ever give up.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 43
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:16:01 AM

Us mean guys actually prefer the term "stupid head," over "jerk." Please amend any further name-calling with the politically correct update.


I prefer the totally politically incorrect, but rather accurate term A ss ho le. Or better said, I don't put up with sh i t from chanola. Hehehe.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 44
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:23:50 AM
I prefer As shole. It rolls off the tongue better
Jerk is too short of a word to make an impact. It's something an uppity woman too busy to bother putting in any effort would say.

As shole ... so much better.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 45
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:33:55 AM
Wtf is going on today? Every thread I read is making me laugh, lmao

@It rolls off the tongue better......lmao
 pacino233
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 46
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 11:26:59 AM
Speaking for myself and not women everywhere... I do understand the OP's frustration from a certain angle, internet dating is very hard work. It often feels like you have to watch every single word that you type lest you accidentally say something that could be taken as a slant on your personality. I suppose it's one of the symptoms of textual messaging; Everything is in black and white and is open for a lot more scrutiny than a regular spoken conversation would be. From a real life standpoint, it can also be a bit frustrating when a girl knocks you back for being "too nice" then they go out with the local ASBO fodder, only to be whining a few months later when it's all gone belly up about how there are no nice men in the world **COUGH**. The OP was definitely being an asshat and I'm not condoning his little hissy fit, but the blatant contradictions do make me think "Eh?" more often than I'd like.

"Awww :( I liked him, he was cute. Kinda a bad attitude but that can be improved on right? :S"

That quote pretty much sums up what I mean. Why go for someone who has shown themselves to be an A-hole rather than someone who simply already isn't? It seem like some women are more interested in having a product that they can work on rather than a legitimate relationship. By the way that isn't me trying to call you out Aradia, you seem like a friendly and intelligent person. If those are the guys you find attractive you may want to raise the bar a little, A-holes are only ever full of one thing....
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 48
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:00:36 PM
“Speaking for myself and not women everywhere... I do understand the OP's frustration from a certain angle, internet dating is very hard work. It often feels like you have to watch every single word that you type lest you accidentally say something that could be taken as a slant on your personality.”

After getting a (rare) response from a woman on a dating website, I sit in a pool of paranoia about every message I send after that. Trying to walk that fine line between being edgy and amusing enough to be interesting and so edgy that you’re carrying a pack of red flags on your back is as nerve-wracking as being on a tightrope between skyscrapers. I don’t ever worry about that with my first contact messages because there’s a 95%+ chance that the woman won’t respond due to lack of attraction, but once a woman responds, the game is afoot. After a woman stops responding, I always analyze the hell out of my last message to see if I can figure out what it was that scared her away. It’s almost never obvious, of course, or else you wouldn’t have written it to begin with.

Fortunately a response is a rare occurrence so it’s not pushing my hypertension too much, but it’s certainly more frequent than 1 out of 400. Either that is a gross exaggeration, or someone’s writing nothing but truly terrible first contact emails to truly outstanding candidates. NO ONE should have a worse response rate than I do. NO ONE. I am the bottom 1% male on this site by searchable characteristics, so my 5% lifetime response rate should be as bad as it gets (admittedly, my response rate has dropped over the past couple of years, thanks mostly to POF policy changes). 400 first contact emails is pretty hard to produce anyway. Even just writing “Hi, [user name]” on all of them would take a minimum of about 20 hours over 10 straight days. I’m a fairly prolific writer without much of a social life and I don’t think I’ve broken 1000 in a YEAR more than a couple of times. In a lot of markets, there aren’t even 400 solid candidates among recent log-ins.

“Furthermore, I've asked this question dozens of times before, and no one has ever answered it. If POF has brought nothing but colossal failure to you, what the hell keeps you here?”

I am pretty sure I’ve answered that numerous times: it’s FREE, so what have you got to lose (other than your sanity) by keeping a profile here?

“I feel guys can do better IRL than with OLD. A lot of guys turn to OLD because of a decrease in their confidence with women IRL, so they turn to OLD because they think it might be easier and less intimidating. Well, It is actually more difficult for most. As you can see on here there are guys that complain but there are also women who think that because they are not flakes that must mean that most women on POF are not flakes. This is also untrue. I ask you this, If the people on here were good at this whole dating thing, would they need OLD in the first place?”

I don’t agree with any of that, except maybe for the OLD being more difficult than IRL part (depends on who it is and the circumstances). Fact is, especially when you get to be our age, single people aren’t all that easy to find in your every day life – most of my friends are married or headed in that direction. Finding someone to be in a relationship with is as much random chance as it is anything else, and some people, with no significant negative characteristics, just missed out on the luck. Two of these people that belong together would be highly unlikely to find each other without OLD if they lived 30 miles apart and never went to the same hangouts or worked in the same place. I’m sure some guys do use it as a crutch because of real life dating ineptitude, especially at younger ages, but most people (especially women) look at OLD as an opportunity to meet people that they otherwise never would.

As for the OT... yes, that’s pretty much all I live for. My whole life from middle school onward has been dedicated to impressing females enough such that they would want to date me. I have done one of the most abysmal jobs of that in recorded history. As a result, I have had to find other reasons to live, but it’s been tough -- although I do genuinely love to write, all of my career thoughts have been pretty much geared toward impressing women, and otherwise I hardly care. So mostly I just keep coming up with distractions. POF forums have certainly been one of the worst distractions I’ve come up with, because this is certainly not the place to hang out if you want to forget how big of a dating failure you are.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 49
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:47:52 PM

I prefer As shole. It rolls off the tongue better

Wow, sounds kinky! I prefer other holes with my tongue, but then again, I'm a guy... :)

After getting a (rare) response from a woman on a dating website, I sit in a pool of paranoia about every message I send after that. Trying to walk that fine line between being edgy and amusing enough to be interesting and so edgy that you’re carrying a pack of red flags on your back is as nerve-wracking as being on a tightrope between skyscrapers.

First, referring to a previous post about 1 response in 400 -- I don't believe in the "don't ever give up" sorta thing. Unless they're the unibomber in their messages, it's their profile/pictures that pretty much says "No Chance". Most likely, they're doing something wrong.

Now Hawking, let me tell you something I observed. I changed my profile to something humorous several weeks ago. Mainly because I'm not out on the dating prowl on this here site (I just like the forums). So I changed my profile. READ IT. What do you think suddenly happened? Yep. Girls -- cute girls starting writing me. It's bizzaro world, man. Before I changed my profile to talk about my affinity for baby crickets & raccoons, and making it mandatory for a gal to make out with me on our 1st date at a drive-in -- there was a once-in-a-great-while message coming my way. Nothing special. Typical guy-in-sausage-fest situation. It's Murphy's Law, man. :) Now, combined with it though are pictures that go the Opposite of what my profile says (sans my middle pic which could I guess).

So, put up pics of you doing athletic things combined with a profile explaining wacked out stuff? Seems to be working for me, when I don't even want it to work!
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 51
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:52:24 PM

My whole life from middle school onward has been dedicated to impressing females enough such that they would want to date me. I have done one of the most abysmal jobs of that in recorded history. As a result, I have had to find other reasons to live, but it’s been tough -- although I do genuinely love to write, all of my career thoughts have been pretty much geared toward impressing women, and otherwise I hardly care.


This is a huge problem dude. To start with, it sounds like if a woman responds, you get so frazzled, so consumed by fear that you actually are happier when she rejects you, so then you can go back to feeling something that you are familiar and comfortable and that is sorry for yourself. Think about this.

Second big problem. Trying to impress women turns you into the clown. The guy trying too hard. Yes we all want to get laid, we all want to be loved and adored, but I only want that by what is real about me. You said you write to impress women, yet that does not come across. I write to develop stories, to get published, to deal with the drama of the human condition, period. The advantage is that many women are attracted to articulate men.

So do your thing out of conviction, love, passion. When you do it that way, they will love you for you. The will want to make love to you, but for the real guy that you're, not what you "song and danced" your way to be.

I can be polite, but when a woman I find attractive is around me, I don't try to impress her, if anything I am even more harsh towards her, or should I say direct. At the end of the meeting, date, whatever, they would be a little confused and wondering if I really like them or not. They are the ones that then feel compel to try to impress me or show something special.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 52
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 2:54:02 PM
To the OP, So you are saying that if you go to the gym is only so you can have the fit body to attract a woman???
You would go to school only to impress the woman with your education level??
You would dress nice for one reason only and its to impress the woman??
The only reason you would not drive an old and broken down car is so you impress the woman???
The only reason you would go to work and climb up the ladder is so you impress a woman???
If that's the only reason you would do things like that. Then you do it for the wrong reasons.

You should not be doing it for some woman, Screw that. You should be doing it for your self.
Now if you care about yourself enough and think to impress yourself. Guess what a quality woman who does things like that for her self she would see in you things she likes and maybe even admire.
I bet that you and every other guy on here would want to meet a woman who is smart well taken care of and wants to improve her place in life, Women want same. Unless of course you want to meet the loser type of a woman who is over weight no education with no job.

I always said that men concentrate way too much on meeting a woman instead of being able to be happy with who they are. Finding a woman should never be at the top of your list unless your list is so short that there is nothing else on it except eat drink sleep and s**t.
Your list should be full of things that you like to do. Things that make you happy and feel good about your self.
At the end of the day you should look in the mirror and able to say OHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAA what a great day it was.
You would rarely see good men with things going on for them single for long if they put any effort to meet someone.
I learned long time ago that the only reason I'm single is cause I never put real effort in meeting someone. Oh and being too picky myself don't help much. That's from a guy who everyone thinks is older then my real age. I also know I missed the barn when it comes in the looks dep. There is no one out there I need or want to impress.
No one be it a man or a woman should live there lives with the main goal to impress others. That is too weak of a reason to wake up every day. And if you do live to impress then don't cry if someone does a better job at it.
 Countryheart1967
Joined: 5/19/2014
Msg: 53
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 7:56:33 PM

men going to the gym...


It could be because I like the way it makes me feel, a great way to release tension, and keeps my mind occupied with goals...

Nah, couldn't be any of that.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 54
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:09:24 PM
I am with Walts, a lot of what you say does not even make sense.

the old "nice"guy rant and only "jerks" get attractive women. Gets tiresome.

As long as you try to bat out of your league you will always be frustrated. A big problem for average men who only want beauties.

 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 55
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History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/23/2015 10:26:49 PM



men going to the gym...



It could be because I like the way it makes me feel, a great way to release tension, and keeps my mind occupied with goals...

Nah, couldn't be any of that.


I needed to go to the gym because the bosses would frown on me taking an axe handle to my computer when it didn't work.
It is also good for one's bone density and increases one's strength and fitness level.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 56
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 1:30:10 AM

Do men just live to impress women?


^^^ Now that would be nice.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 57
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 5:43:16 AM

Do men just live to impress women?


^^^ Now that would be nice.



I don't believe you really, really, would want that. Though it sounds good, it wouldn't be. Unless you like walking puppies on a leash.
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