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 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 58
Do men just live to impress women?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

As long as you try to bat out of your league you will always be frustrated. A big problem for average men who only want beauties.


I think what each man should do is have a reality check. Who is the worse that you've had sex with? Who is the hottest you've had sex with? Put the dots on a page, then aim to the highest common denominator.

The problem is that when you settle for less, low picking fruit, you get used to not having to put the extra effort and get stuck there always looking at the grass being greener elsewhere. But when you become picky, but realize what you've had before, then you can get that again as long as your life style reality remains the same.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 59
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 7:14:25 AM

The problem is that when you settle for less, low picking fruit, you get used to not having to put the extra effort and get stuck there always looking at the grass being greener elsewhere.


Truer words have never been spoken
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 60
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 8:10:20 AM
HawkingJR does not make any sense----------

He says that he disagrees with me about some guys using OLD because they lack success and confidence IRL and that guys his age must have just "missed out on the luck". He then later writes that most of his life he has tried to impress women in order to get dates with almost no success. Well,.... that is exactly what I am talking about. If you look on these forums you will see guys from all different age ranges and areas in the same situation. Also, you can't just fall back on the luck thing. Life is not an Adam Sandler ROM-COM where fate brings two unlikely people together to fall in love. You have to make your own luck in this world. As far as the women, many try OLD because they are tired of the guys they have been picking IRL. Let me ask you, How many times have you seen in a lady's profile the whole "tired of the games", "no players", "I am not just looking for sex", statements? These are not just some parameters being set, this is a small window into their past experiences. OLD is too passive, (and passive aggressive) you need to hit the pavement, not the keyboard.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 8:41:53 AM
“Hawking just say you like Radiohead and if she is an indie chick. Match:)”

You know as well as I do that common interests are useless without mutual physical attraction. Most of my female friends are also Radiohead fans, yet aren't attracted to me. By comparison, my ex-girlfriend (who obviously did have a physical attraction to me) was part of the same social circle, yet didn’t “get” Radiohead at all (and I found most of her teenybopper favorites annoying). The one time I can recall a woman who was a self-professed Radiohead fan in her profile writing me back, we ended up getting in this ridiculous debate about what their good songs were vs. what their not-so-good songs were. I normally would not engage in such nonsense with someone I’m trying to date, but I didn’t find her very physically attractive and only wrote her because of the Radiohead mention, so I didn’t really care that much what the results of that dialogue were. There are in fact a lot of regular forum members that are as big of Radiohead fans as me that otherwise don’t get along with me at all. Having one common interest is pretty meaningless when it comes to dating – as I said in some other thread recently, having a BUNCH of common interests is not even necessarily meaningful, whereas two people who are mutually attracted may be able to develop common interests if they don’t have them to begin with. (Coincidentally, the last woman I met from here, oh so many years ago, responded to my message only because I mentioned a band with a much smaller following than Radiohead that we both somehow liked. However, she was pretty similar to Radiohead girl above in that I was not really attracted to her, so it was foolish of me to write her to begin with, much less end up meeting her, which relates strongly to my response to IG below.)

norwegianguy123: That only works if women are actually looking at your profile. Being in the bottom 1% of searchable characteristics, I currently average one unsolicited view a month. Even women who would not reject me based on my negative searchable characteristics are not actively including someone with my characteristics in their searches, because OLD is pretty much a “fantasy” tool for finding someone: why would you actively search for anything less than your “dream person”? Yes, you may get contacted by someone you wouldn’t ordinarily think of as your dream person and consider them anyway, and you may meet someone in real life you wouldn’t ordinarily think of as your dream person and evolve to think that way, but when you are in the process of ACTIVE PURSUIT, you are most likely only going to include people in your searches that you believe to fall somewhere near the parameters of your dream person, especially if you are reasonably attractive yourself (the 1 view I get a month is almost never from an even remotely attractive woman).

I remember years ago some woman in the forums referred to it as “getting in her own way” because she automatically started with 6 feet tall, blue eyes, brown hair, athletic body, etc., despite the fact that she had dated plenty of guys that didn’t meet those “dream statistics” and found some of them far better dates than many of her “dream guys.” But when you think about it, if you live in a major metro, you’re starting off with 10,000+ possibilities and have to pare them down to something useful somehow, so I don’t really fault people for starting off with narrow search criteria. Otherwise you’re dealing with largely random options based entirely on last log-in. I understand why I’m nearly always excluded.

There’s also just the matter of most reasonably attractive women close to our age (and especially younger) not even having to do searches, because they get so many emails from guys of every type that even if they had time to do their own searches between dealing with unsolicited emails, it would be highly unnecessary because they already have so many options that have already expressed interest. Why seek rejection under those circumstances?

This is not to say I don’t believe you when you claim you get "lots" of unsolicited emails from cute women. But your searchable statistics place you in the top 10% of all men. The women who actually are doing searches are 90% guaranteed to include you in their parameters, plus you will pop up in almost every type of site matching (whereas the site automatically excludes me from matches with the majority of women due to my height and income, regardless of the women’s individual preferences). In your case, changing the text content of your profile will likely have a noticeable effect on the number of first contact emails you receive, because regardless of what it says, you’re going to be getting nearly the highest number of unsolicited views possible for a male (30+ a month, I bet, in that size metro), so you can definitely shoot yourself in the foot with your profile. Changing the text content of MY profile will have no noticeable effect on the number of first contact emails I receive because in order for that to be true, women have to be viewing my profile to begin with, and they are not, for reasons entirely beyond my control (obviously, that does not mean my profile content has no effect on my success or failure here, because the women *I* contact will read it, but “joke profiles” have an entirely different effect when used in conjunction with unsolicited first contact messages vs. them being stumbled upon by the initiator).

“To start with, it sounds like if a woman responds, you get so frazzled, so consumed by fear that you actually are happier when she rejects you”

That actually sounds pretty accurate these days. It took quite a few years of failure and frustration to get to that point, but now I readily admit, I almost always sigh whenever I actually get a response. It’s just exhausting to accomplish anything on most dating sites, and I’m just tired from trying. I’ve been at this since the late 90s (OLD in general) and every dialogue I get into now feels exactly the same (well, technically they fall into several distinct categories of sameness). Usually just going around and around in circles, sometimes for years, almost never leading to any meetings, and when they do, almost certainly profound failure, because it’s some woman I never really wanted to meet to begin with and shouldn’t even have contacted. Last summer, the most awesome woman on earth actually wrote me back with some enthusiasm and that was probably the only time in the last couple of years I actually got giddy about a response, but in the back of my head, I knew it was going to be short-lived, and certainly it was going to be a case of walking on eggshells, though “fortunately” she only wrote me back that one time (couldn't find any red flags in my last email), so I was able to get over that pretty quickly.

Undoubtedly a lot of this exhaustion is just from never being successful, OLD or IRL, so I can never take time off. For only 3-4 years of the past 20 years have I been dating someone, and all 3 of the somewhat exclusive "relationships" were of a peculiar nature in which we never really settled on what kind of relationship it was, so at some points in some of those cases I was still actively looking for someone to date, so it's largely just been continuous date seeking, with thousands and thousands of both OLD and IRL rejections piling up. I'm pretty much just a robot going through the motions at this point. I have no enthusiasm for this, but I can't not do it, because I might miss my one opportunity to score big time while I'm sitting on the sidelines.

BTW, “scared her off” was perhaps too specific. Sometimes women just lose interest or forget about you or decide to drop you while pursuing another guy they are more interested in. I’ve written quite a few “last messages” that didn’t get responses that I could not find anything remotely like a “red flag” in them.

“Second big problem. Trying to impress women turns you into the clown. The guy trying too hard.”

Not to worry. I quit being a clown many years ago. Once you come to terms with the reality that you’re not any woman’s idea of “dating material” and you never will be (without some deus ex machina), you just kind of start to “exist.” God knows the last time I tried to impress a woman IRL.

“’men going to the gym...’ It could be because I like the way it makes me feel, a great way to release tension, and keeps my mind occupied with goals...”

Powerlifting was definitely a good distraction. But the end goal was always to attract women, even long after I realized that powerlifting did not make me more attractive to women (not to say it hasn’t worked for other men – I mean me specifically). With the exception of work (which is mostly for survival), pretty much the end goal of everything I have ever done is to attract women, even after those things just became distractions from the fact that nothing I had ever done had attracted a single woman. I spent the entire last half of 2014 putting a film festival together. It is the most powerful distraction that I have ever undertaken – hell, it nearly killed me. At some point I completely forgot about my then-7-year dateless streak – in fact, I almost forgot to do my regular jobs because I was so focused on making this constantly-needy film festival successful. And I knew going into it that it was a terrible way to meet women (just like most gym rats are male, most attendees of film festivals, with the exception of actresses and spouses/significant others, are male).

Yet, still, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, “Surely some woman will be impressed that I founded and organized a successful film festival” and also “Maybe there will actually be a single, attractive woman at this festival that will be impressed with what I have done.” The former has definitely not come to pass, and the only attractive single females I recall being at the festival were all in the student category, which means they were mostly underage. So, yeah, that played out pretty much exactly like I thought it would, but still, the primary motivation for the festival, just like nearly everything else I do, was to attract women and if that failed, to distract myself from the fact that I do not attract women. Hopefully year 2 will be even more distracting.

Patch: no time to respond right now to that post that just popped up -- gotta run off to a lunch appointment. Business, of course.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 62
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 8:56:53 AM

I didn’t find her very physically attractive and only wrote her because of the Radiohead mention


Now, do the same thing to a woman that you find physically attractive, and you will get laid.

What you fail to understand is that you're still thinking with your d i ck. You see attractive woman that you pecker may like, you freeze. You see woman that is not attractive to you, you act NORMAL. Why is this all wrong?

To start with because when you think with your d i ck, you don't realize that attraction works differently with women. Women Do look at your physicality but they also look at your personality and int the end, what gets her in bed is your personality. But, you're so convinced, so oversold on your own b u ll sh it, that you will never get out of your predicament as long as you are "so convinced" of the outcome.

I've probably gotten rejected a hell of a lot more than you, and that is only including the women who actually responded, to then shoot me down, ignore me, block me, or tell me something nice but still hurtful. And yet I kept going, and consequently I have gotten Laid a lot. I've been in long term, short term, tumultuous, great, fun, boring relationships. And they happened not because I am a hot looking guy, but because I was bold and dared to ask her out. And dared not to agree with her. And dared not to play to the complement cliche and if she had a big a ss, I told her she had a big one.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 63
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 9:49:48 AM
Alright, I have to play semi-devils advocate here...

As long as you try to bat out of your league you will always be frustrated. A big problem for average men who only want beauties.

I agree. You'll be like a minor league pitcher up to bat, facing Dennis Eckersley. Do it enough times, you'll get a single (some drunken action), once in a very great while a double (you go out on a few dates), but really not much more, batting frustratingly low. The problem is, is all the strike-outs, hitting into double-plays, etc that far overwhelms things. You can't Tell someone "oh, don't let it bother you". Especially someone who doesn't have things going for them all that much. Not going to work. Sit there and reminisce about the time you hooked up with Pretty Paula back in '10? Or were going out with Beauty Barb in '07 for a few weeks? Not going to cut it if that's all you're swinging for, and that's all you get. Hence, you don't call people up from the minors into the majors if they aren't developed. #1 thing is to improve yourself first so it doesn't cut into your esteem. Because your esteem Should take a hit when you're not close to par in what you're aiming for. When we are up to par and know it, and have (actually) had our successes in that realm, and we realize it emotionally & logistically -- that's when shoot-downs don't have to harm our self-esteem.

The problem is that when you settle for less, low picking fruit, you get used to not having to put the extra effort and get stuck there always looking at the grass being greener elsewhere.

If someone's always wanting a Pretty Paula -- not for a lucky or semi-lucky night out of god-knows-how-many failed attempts (getting a kiss and a # but no return phone calls doesn't count even for that) -- then you should settle for less for at least for a while. Less compared to too-high aspirations of what "I Deserve!" (thumb pointed to chest). No, man, come back down to earth. Welcome to reality. You have to improve your looks, your mindset, your approach, etc. You have to work your way up the ladder to see any actual success. Get some batting practice focusing on your game in the 'minors' (AA ball) while learning about effective 'game' in terms of style, how you come across, etc -- as you work on your looks... whether that be saving for some dental work, working out to build muscle if you're too skinny, or getting more aerobic if you're too chub, etc. Such things not just help you with girls -- but also in other aspects of life, too. Success.

But when you become picky, but realize what you've had before, then you can get that again as long as your life style reality remains the same.

You're going to want to be in the ballpark range of what you chase, though. You have to stand back and say "Is this within my realistic reach (league), generally speaking? What do I have to do to improve myself?" And I would say to Semi-Average Sam, not to ride on the time he hooked up with Pretty Paula in '10 as the platform in which to go by. It does Not mean he did everything right. That can be dangerous to advise. My advice would be to to check oneself -- and not to think how you were was just Great in those very few times success bounced your way through those umpteen strikeouts. Because when you improve yourself, your batting average goes up. Your self-esteem, as a human, takes less of a hit and in the end, none at all when you Know (not brainwashed) you're in a league enough To have success.

I think your POV is just fine for those who Are in someone's league more or less, their self-esteem is down, and just keep batting in A-league ball because they can get some hits going, and fear (gasp) striking out in better leagues. To that, I agree. My point is -- don't swing for the majors if you Do belong in the minors. Amp yourself up first, make the most of yourself -- get batting practice in those minors in the mean-time as a way to build up confidence (like a QB after throwing an INT will throw easy passes on his next drive to get a rhythm going) while you improve yourself in looks & understanding in the meantime.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 11:51:20 AM
“You have to make your own luck in this world.”

This is one of the all-time greatest B.S. lines in the business world. You can do all the proper research, you can work hard as hell to your last breath, you can make sure you are always in the historically best place for opportunity, but if lady luck is not on your side, you’re just screwed. And if lady luck is on your side, you can be a complete screw-up with no motivation and still succeed. I could be on the verge of the greatest business venture in Kansas City history, and a tornado could take it down the day before we were going to hit it big. What is that but bad luck? I could be a lazy, high school drop-out, ex-con with a serious drug problem and win the lottery and bet set for life. What is that but good luck? How come Seattle currently has a population of around 1 million while Pompeii has a population of zero? They were both built right next to volcanoes, but Pompeii’s exploded 2000 years ago, while the Seattle area has lucked out for millennia. All just pure luck.

And all that applies to dating as well. The lie of romantic comedies is that two people were “meant” for each other and are “soulmates.” The truth is serendipity: just pure luck that two people that are mutually attracted to each other are in the same place at the same time. “Well, what if I’m always at places where women are at?” Which places, which nights, what exact times? How many couple stories have you heard: “One minute later and I would have missed him!” Like baseball is a game of inches, so dating is a game of seconds, with as much random luck and things beyond your control involved as baseball. Don’t get me wrong – it helps to be good, it helps to work hard. But Tony Gwynn was just about the best batter in modern history – how many World Series did he win? Was that because he wasn’t good enough or didn’t try hard enough (.371 average in the World Series he lost)? I bet you can name dozens of inferior Yankee players with multiple rings.

Uh, back 100% on topic:

“He says that he disagrees with me about some guys using OLD because they lack success and confidence IRL and that guys his age must have just ‘missed out on the luck’.”

If you’re considering the long view of “lack success,” as in they haven’t achieved a long term relationship that would prevent them from having to use OLD, then, yes, I agree with you, but as I was really more referring to short term view, as in “can’t get any woman to date them.” You’re still suggesting that there’s something inferior about the vast majority of men on OLD, and I say that’s nonsense. There’s no statistical evidence that a higher percentage of OLD men are inferior to IRL men, but then again, considering OLD men include many men still actively pursuing women IRL, that’s something that’s almost impossible to untangle and prove, but millions of well-adjusted couples that have met through OLD must mean something. Most women end up on OLD for the same reason most men up on OLD: they run low on “real life” options, which would exclude the “players” and “gamers” that are in their daily world. Again, this doesn’t preclude there being a significant number of male OLD users who are IRL failures for lack of confidence and find OLD easier – but MOST of them? I think not.


“Now, do the same thing to a woman that you find physically attractive, and you will get laid.”

At what point did I give you the impression that I *don’t* do the same thing with women I find physically attractive? The only attractive women I don’t contact (regardless of Radiohead interest) are the ones who disqualify me with their profiles (for example, the woman who says she loves Radiohead but only dates white guys). What I was saying is that among ALL the MANY women, attractive and otherwise, that I’ve contacted with Radiohead as an interest, the only response I can ever recall getting was from a woman that I did not find very attractive.

“I've probably gotten rejected a hell of a lot more than you, and that is only including the women who actually responded, to then shoot me down, ignore me, block me, or tell me something nice but still hurtful.”

This doesn’t seem remotely possible, because from what I’ve ascertained from your forum activity, you have a fairly normal relationship history, including currently being in one. Most men close to my age cannot even come close to compiling the amount of rejections that I have because every now and then they actually succeed and then spend a considerable amount of time in relationships, during which MOST of them are not actively seeking new women to date. The typical guy close to my age has probably spent close to 20 years in relationships – heck, most have been/are married. How much rejection could such a guy possibly have gotten during the interludes? I have several male friends who have been almost continuously in relationships in the 15+ years that I’ve known them – they have a handful of rejections between them, despite most of them not being studs, because they usually end up getting into a new relationship shortly after the old ends, and most of their relationships last several years. I have actually “dated” far more women than ANY of my male friends for that reason. Although I am a 99% failure, because almost none of the 1% resulted in what could be called a relationship, I just keep getting more and more opportunities to date new women... and to fail.

Interestingly, it’s probably the commitment-phobic “studs” and playboys who have come anywhere near the level of failure I have. Despite being attractive and charismatic, they certainly get rejected a lot because no man is every woman’s cup of tea, but they also succeed as much as they fail, and then that doesn’t lead to relationships because they have no interest in being on, so they have probably as many opportunities to get rejected as I do. And most other men in the bottom 1% like me either end up luckier than me (had I been born in a different time in a different place, I probably wouldn’t even be on this site) or take whatever they can get (I could have been in long term relationships with several women that I found repulsive) or they... give up. Which I’ve been unable to do. Though that day is probably coming...

Norwegian: Your first response to Petula is eerily familiar...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 66
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 1:27:10 PM
No, I haven't found this to be true.
Or maybe I'm just not easily impressed.
Hard to say.

Do women just live to impress men?
If so, apparently we're doing a bad job of it.
At least in fishes.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 2:05:23 PM
"Okay hawks scrap the Radiohead suggestion...bad idea:("

It's not that it's a "bad idea" -- it's just an idea that I've certainly thought of and has produced no good results FOR ME, for reasons that are largely unrelated to the idea itself. The only way it would be a "bad idea" is if it led to women responding who didn't find me attractive but just wanted to discuss Radiohead, thereby giving me false hope and wasting my time -- as it turns out, that hasn't happened. Obviously, initiating contact with someone by mentioning a common interest is a good idea in this system -- better than just saying "Hi" anyway (although not necessarily from an efficiency point-of-view).

When I was in high school and would tell girls that I was a big fan of Def Leppard, GNR, Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, etc., their reaction was usually very negative, despite the fact that those girls were fans of these particular bands themselves -- it was along the lines of "Why would you like a band like that? You're not white! Like, ew, stop liking our music! What's wrong with you?" Needless to say, I rarely brought up Charlie Daniels Band, Hank Williams Sr. or Waylon Jennings. Radiohead fans are usually fairly open-minded in comparison to hair metal and country fans, but every time I come across an Alice in Chains fan, I think twice about contacting her, despite the fact that their current lead singer is black. At some point last year I came across one, and her profile was overtly racist overall, and when I got to Alice in Chains, in parentheses it said "OLD AIC, not that new jigga stuff." Needless to say, I did not bother contacting her... despite having the common interest of Alice in Chains.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 68
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 2:46:04 PM

Do men just live to impress women?


^^^ Now that would be nice.



I don't believe you really, really, would want that. Though it sounds good, it wouldn't be. Unless you like walking puppies on a leash.


^^^

I also like puppies.
But not on a leash.



 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 69
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/24/2015 5:53:47 PM
Every time I get off - there is a 5-10 second window where my life is effectively complete, and death seems fairly agreeable. Doesn't happen every time, but when it does - where the hell was a firearm.

So yes, we live to impress women, otherwise how are we going to get off? And feel potentially satisfied for a few quick seconds? How are we going to survive as men when we never feel satisfied?

 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 70
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 4:51:55 AM
@kay9872

She’ll know love because, rather than accepting the world’s judgment of beauty, she looks at people’s hearts – her own and others – men and women. There she finds kindness (or cruelty), generosity (or greed), maturity (or immaturity), and love (or self-centeredness), etc. She chooses to be a friend based on what she sees in people’s hearts. And from that group, she finds a man to love.


Good start...


It’s likely that you’ll have better "luck" in relationships when you stop focusing on outer beauty and start exploring within yourself and others. Admittedly, luck is involved. Serendipity happens. But it's best to be prepared when the opportunities come.


I must say Kay.... you always reply will some of the most level headed & mature posts here. Your fair & understand a good deal in, ‘’the big pic in life’’ and is a good reminder....or better yet in how the process works, evolves into hopefully something very special.
As for when we put up self appointed attitudes, roadblocks, excesses, etc,etc.... our chances of meeting someone special, are greatly reduced. With it's self -defeating, predetermined ending.
Before the dance has even started. I say the floor is open...cheers & good luck
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 71
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 5:53:29 AM

Every time I get off - there is a 5-10 second window where my life is effectively complete, and death seems fairly agreeable.

?_? the what?


So yes, we live to impress women, otherwise how are we going to get off? And feel potentially satisfied for a few quick seconds? How are we going to survive as men when we never feel satisfied?

Men totally don't live to impress women!!
Shouldn't the satisfaction last longer than a few seconds??
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 72
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 8:17:16 AM

Every time I get off - there is a 5-10 second window where my life is effectively complete, and death seems fairly agreeable. Doesn't happen every time, but when it does - where the hell was a firearm.


I thought I was alone in that feeling only I'm not looking to kill myself if there happens to be a firearm around. I could however die in my sleep afterward. Ever been choked (not for homicidal practices though), just as a way of feeling a more intense orgasm?


So yes, we live to impress women, otherwise how are we going to get off?

Your ability to "get off" will not impress most women. Unless you mean you "get off" at impressing women.


And feel potentially satisfied for a few quick seconds? How are we going to survive as men when we never feel satisfied?


Happy wife, happy life. If only men really really understood this, the world would be a better place. If you aim to make your woman happy, you will be happy. There are tons of articles that harp on the importance of such. That's the path to feeling "satisfied" all the time in any form that does it for you.


Shouldn't the satisfaction last longer than a few seconds??


It lasts a few seconds for me as well and then I don't want to see him, don't want to look at him anymore, I just want to fall asleep like a baby and be left alone.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 73
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 9:19:57 AM
^^^^^^^^
No, you got it wrong. - No wife equals happy life.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 74
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 10:12:35 AM
^^^^^

For those who have been burned, I guess no wife= happy life.

For me, no relationship= no problems, no drama, but it also means no sex for me :-(
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 75
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 10:28:24 AM

As long as you try to bat out of your league you will always be frustrated.


I think this is more prevelant in OLD than IRL due to the "window shopping" effect. I don't see it that often in the real world as water seeks it's own level.

I've probably spent more time with some of the world's most physically attractive women than anyone on the forums. I got a first hand look at what type of men approach those women and they're not your average joe's in the looks dept. Some may think they are "equal" or on the same "level" sometimes, but once they start to talk you can see the the effort they put forth to make it seem they are with arrogance, ego, subtle comments about her "air" of untouchable.

The comments these women would make to me about some of those guys were book worthy. Lol

Those that got their attention were confident not arrogant, had the same approach as if they were introducing themselve's to someone on the street. They impressed by "not" trying to impress.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 76
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 1:30:01 PM

Those that got their attention were confident not arrogant, had the same approach as if they were introducing themselves to someone on the street. They impressed by "not" trying to impress.


CrookCatcher is bang on. And this applies to both genders. Confidence wins every time.

I see far more arrogance on these threads with folks posting about what they have - cars, educational degrees, boats, pearls or how fit they are, how intelligent they are,how perfect they are, how wonderful they are, etc. If they were "all that and a bag of chips", they wouldn't have to constantly remind us of this....maybe they disguise their low self esteem in bravado. Or, they're arrogant which is not a redeeming quality.

Confidence and character are what is important.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 77
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 1:40:15 PM
"If they were "all that and a bag of chips", they wouldn't have to constantly remind us of this...."

Agreed. I can think of a few "broken records" that add little to the conversation....
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 79
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 2:10:44 PM

Confidence wins every time.


Not quite every time. There are men who are afraid of a strong woman and women who break into hives when any man is present. But most of the time.

What people omit when they are talking about confidence is that it is nothing more than a way of positioning your body, standing or sitting, that anyone can learn to mimic with enough practice in a mirror. It has been known for ages. Rich girls used to be taught "posture" in finishing schools.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 80
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 3:14:09 PM

I see far more arrogance on these threads with folks posting about what they have - cars, educational degrees, boats, pearls or how fit they are, how intelligent they are,how perfect they are, how wonderful they are, etc


I've got quite a few high end fly fishing rods, and I can tie a pretty mean fly too!!!!

And looking around the room, it also looks like I collect empty whiskey bottles.

Gotta count for sumttin.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 81
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 3:46:43 PM

Norwegian: Your first response to Petula is eerily familiar...

Yes, which is why Improvement should be the #1 key until you get in the upper zone of that. Fix & re-condition oneself. Once you Know you're in maximum condition with your ducks in a row, it'll also help you mentally/esteem-wise as well. I think it's a bad sense of advice to "just go out there and hit on anything hot"... IMO, that's putting the cart before the horse, as one should be set to prepared, built, and ready to execute after facing many troubling setbacks that's set the tone in their world.

it was along the lines of "Why would you like a band like that? You're not white! Like, ew, stop liking our music! What's wrong with you?

Yeah, but for a music fanatic, if one is, they're not going to be turned off by the "Carlton Effect" (see Fresh Prince show). In fact, some gals Like that. Many it won't have an effect on any more than a classic, prim & proper nerd liking Black Sabbath. Yeah, he'll get some surprised reactions -- but whateve. It's not a "you're ruining our music" thing... I think that'd be like Pre high-school, and/or overlooking into it.

Happy wife, happy life. If only men really really understood this, the world would be a better place.

Don't agree, as...

If you aim to make your woman happy, you will be happy.

... doing so won't necessarily make You happy. Flip it around. "B!tch, make me dinner. You need to clean this damn house when I come home! I don't care if you work, too! Why the hell isn't my car washed? I told you every day during the week! And no, you can't have your friend come over and play cards! She's not cute -- I don't want to look at her." I couldn't really tell a gal "Boyfriend/husband happy, happy life, right?" ;)
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 82
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 3:56:57 PM
Unfortunately, OP has deleted his profile, so there’s no way to check his age….

However, the amount of similar threads can really make one wonder, how realistic the people are regarding finding an actual match, their wants/needs, strengths/weaknesses and the natural limitations in terms of never being able to please everybody?

Taking (the disappeared) OP’s example of men who feel the need to “impress” with muscles, cars, boats or whatever. These men do attract the women who are receptive to it, right?

If the OP now is into none of that, why does he feel the need to “compete” with said guys to attract the women who are into the things he is NOT into? They clearly would not be a match for him anyhow.

As the OP has disappeared, maybe someone else here can explain this phenomenon, as I personally don’t get it at all.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 83
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 4:26:07 PM

As the OP has disappeared, maybe someone else here can explain this phenomenon, as I personally don’t get it at all.


He was a whiney boy in a man's body. 30 years old and had "given up" on women for 11 of those years, cause "he knew" what women "were all about". Yet, he was here on this dating site? I do believe, he was like a couple people here(not this topic but, forums), just filling in time with useless, hateful bullshiat thrown towards the opposite gender.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 84
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 4:52:21 PM

I think this is more prevelant in OLD than IRL due to the "window shopping" effect. I don't see it that often in the real world as water seeks it's own level.


No question....those that seek their own level will rise to the top....and with extroverts it defiently is imo more so...


Those that got their attention were confident not arrogant, had the same approach as if they were introducing themselve's to someone on the street. They impressed by "not" trying to impress.


No question again ! As the confident one’s seem to know & want the connection regardless if it happens future or not.

As they enjoy the exchange nonetheless. And they like myself can talk on values that connect in the big pic we hopefully strive to be with too...

So if your ‘’grasping for straws’’ then your too self absorbed or not very kosher to couple with others.....who are not grasping, but care also sharing things too.
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