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 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 85
Do men just live to impress women?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

If you aim to make your woman happy, you will be happy.



... doing so won't necessarily make You happy.


If you’re commenting from experience, you probably just thought you were making her happy. If you were actually making her happy, then she would *be happy* and would happily make you happy. :)


Flip it around. "B!tch, make me dinner. You need to clean this damn house when I come home! I don't care if you work, too! Why the hell isn't my car washed? I told you every day during the week! And no, you can't have your friend come over and play cards! She's not cute -- I don't want to look at her."


Okay, flip it. If a woman was speaking to you that way, why would you be with her?

Do you really think that making a woman happy is taking orders and insults and name calling from a harridan? Or are you trying to be funny?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 86
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 6:39:27 PM

If you were actually making her happy, then she would *be happy* and would happily make you happy. :)

No, not necessarily, which was my point by example...

Okay, flip it. If a woman was speaking to you that way, why would you be with her?

Ahh, that's the point. Either way, if you have to do incredibly silly things to make someone happy -- no, that doesn't mean You're going to be happy in the end. People will be in bad relationships, but they're torn between the heartache of breaking up vs the heartache of continuing on (we've all observed that 2nd-hand in the very least).

Point is: Just because you're making someone happy doesn't mean you'll be happy. It can end up being quite ridiculous to make a bad/sad/angry/emotionally-messed-up person actually Happy a good part of the time. That saying would be good for those who want to live like Archie Bunker's wife, but that's about it. Hence, bad one-liner of advice. :)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 87
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/25/2015 6:46:05 PM

?_? the what?
Men totally don't live to impress women!!
Shouldn't the satisfaction last longer than a few seconds??


Uh, yes we do - whether it is simply the novelty associated with initially being sexually involved with women, or a genuine desire to live for them. The result would be the same across the board - and I am absolutely confident in the accuracy of my theory.

We will call this the "women depression theory."

After significant evaluation (in context to) subjective analysis, I am able to accurately conclude that the qualitative state of mankind would be detrimentally compromised to the point of self destruction. It is my deduction that men do live to impress women, all you have to do is think of the hypothetical question of "what would happen to the mental state of man if every single women on the planet vanished, along with any recognition that they ever existed, but were still heterosexual." I can say (again with complete confidence) that men would care 95% less about managing their physical appearance, bettering themselves in general, and would be completely devoid of vitality. Affectively the only thing keeping men alive in this scenario is that humanity (men and women) are hard-wired to be revolted by the idea of death.

I would quit college, still stay physically strong, only I wouldn't care how I looked. And yeah basically - my general status as a human being would degrade into.... some form of sloppy white trash.

So in context to the motivation behind me being the best version of myself as I am capable. The vast majority of why I do what I do to better myself - comes strictly from two major points. The first has to do with vanity, the second selflessness as I am prone to impulsively tending to the needs/desires/well-being of any women I've significantly been in love with. In addition to taking efforts to help her feel better about her self-confidence/self-appreciation/self-happiness.

So with me it is easily (given the hypothetical) women who are responsible for the betterment of myself. I do what I do for self preservation about 5%, but the other 95% - I live to my greatest potential for women, because women motivated me to do so. And without the presence of motivation from women or my interpretation of moral principle - nothing drives me. Without the known value of women, and whatever is left of my moral imperative (accounting for the hypothetical) I can say with confidence that I would effectively lose my mind and my don't-give-a-fukk meter would be off the charts.

And I can't speak for all men, but would wager that (accounting for the hypothetical) the thoughts and actions of heterosexual men would (across the board) be parallel to my own, at least by the terms of the don't-give-a-fukk meter, and in addition to the mortal wound sustained by the certain death of vitality.

But the interpretation of why all men would lose their mind with the complete absence of women. The only difference would be in self-evidence, in context to meter/moral/other.

Ok Arcadia? You can agree or disagree with me, but it will mean little unless you qualify your analysis.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 88
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 12:00:03 AM

^^^^^^^^
No, you got it wrong. - No wife equals happy life.


Then why are you here?
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 89
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 1:59:41 AM

No, you got it wrong. - No wife equals happy life.



Then why are you here?


He wants to make everyone else feel as Miserable as He does...........
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 90
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 2:31:38 AM

Ok Arcadia?

Ah, why does everyone call me Arcadia? >.>


the other 95% - I live to my greatest potential for women, because women motivated me to do so.

That is interesting, I find a majority of what I do to better myself is motivated by my own self preservation and some vanity yes. Probably not so much around men, otherwise I'd take rejection a lot worse I think, if everything was based on my trying to please them.

So you are saying women motivate you in the sense of attracting a mate or in the sense of keeping the mate happy?
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 91
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 4:26:59 AM
because ozsealady, not every guy here wants a wife by any stretch of the imagination. He may be looking for anything but.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 92
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 4:29:23 AM
Oh yes and the guy that talks about his younger girlfriend, how hot she is and how great their sex life is, in just about every post. Makes you wonder if is not all just a fantasy.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 93
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 5:20:02 AM

You can agree or disagree with me, but it will mean little unless you qualify your analysis

Psssst, vector. Your "analysis" is purely anecdotal - she could come back with something in her (albeit exceedingly limited) experience and it would be no less valid than yours.

Anyways....

I disagree.

For example - something simple. I clean my condo (vacuuming, dusting etc.) once a week whether I'm involved, interested in a woman, or have been alone for a long period of time. I do get more picky with the bathroom when I am seeing someone, but that's as far as my cleanliness quotient goes. But my "don't-give-a-fukk meter" doesn't move a millimeter.

In terms of personal grooming - the meter is more engaged there. We want to look good for our partners - that's a given.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 94
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 5:45:37 AM

In terms of personal grooming - the meter is more engaged there. We want to look good for our partners - that's a given.


Some of us never have to change a thing. I just looked in the mirror for a reminder.


I'm phucking stunning!!!!!!!



Still single.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 95
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 6:36:22 AM
We are human, we are a social animal, we are naturally driven to reproduce.

We are so social....

That when subjected to solitary confinement, we are driven mad. Shame and/or being shamed (especially publically displayed variety) feels like death, it actually registers as pain. It is so painful that we will distort our reality to avoid it.

It is the connection to humanity that motivates us. If you were born into a home that wasn't troubled, then you were motivated by mother and father. If you are not motivated by mother and father, what does motivate you? Well back then for me it was candy, video games, and I actually failed the first grade. That's where my GAF meter was, and that's where it stayed till I realized the power of love. And that understanding gave me a basis for me to engage in life, it gave me a cause worth living.

What is the motivation of humanity? I believe the motivation is ingrained within us to desire to be loved, as well as the desire to love in return.

Or you could just understand that neuro-chemicals and hormones literally get us high when we fall in love.

I mean outside of a nasty drug addiction or traumatic head injury... Nothing can be a potentially more dangerous/painful than falling in love... Nothing can be more maddening than having never fallen in love while everyone else does. And nothing can motivate us to endure certain conditions we would otherwise avoid at all costs.

I don't believe that we are motivated by our own self interests. At our most basic and primal calling we are motivated to pro-create. If we were to look inward and be honest with ourselves, we live and suffer for the potential to love and be loved.

You can think I am wrong, but...
In terms of nature - I am right.
In terms of society and nurture - I am right.

The sociopath/psychopath might be 100% motivated through their own self interest.

But anyone with empathy, and the desire to love/be-loved - will be motivated by either the concept of love or the prospect of love.

Nobody goes to the gym for their best friend.

But yeah, anecdotal? Because your argument that we live for ourselves is backed by what? Did you even think to imagine what life would be like without women for a prolonged period of time? Or did you just consider what it would feel like to be dirty and unkempt for an extended period of time?

I don't think about that because I lived it in the Army, I know what its like to go without a shower for 30 days, and if being uncomfortable is your biggest fear - I imagine your mind would be blown if you had to endure significant pain, let alone chronic pain.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 96
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 7:30:39 AM

Oh yes and the guy that talks about his younger girlfriend, how hot she is and how great their sex life is, in just about every post. Makes you wonder if is not all just a fantasy.


One poster who fits that description makes good posts that many people enjoy reading. People politely suggested he limit the more sexual material to the sex forums and he agreed. I believe his stories. It's good to see positive posts by someone in a good relationship. The people who complain about his posts are haters. I don't believe he posts to brag or try to impress people, rather his stories are logical refutations of cynical claims.

Some of the people who post positive stories and list positive attributes of their partners are modest, saying "I'm not great looking" when in reality they're probably considered way above average by many people.


If they were "all that and a bag of chips", they wouldn't have to constantly remind us of this...."


True about it applying to both genders. One poster regularly brags about having a huge six figure income, a house, car and other possessions. That same poster is a cheapskate who has posted she won't pay $2 for a cup of coffee, demanding the man pay for it (in the hypothetical situation she ever went on a date).
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 9:00:45 AM
“I think that'd be like Pre high-school, and/or overlooking into it.”

Yeah, I don’t think you understand rural Alabama at all. We’re talking about a state in which 40% of the ADULT population voted to keep the (unconstitutional) anti-miscegenation law on the books in THIS millennium (and I was in high school there during an era in which I’m sure it would have gotten 50%+, and in my specific area, 95% -- the 60% to remove it got strongly reflected the major urban areas of Birmingham, Mobile, Montgomery and especially Huntsville, the only beacon of civilization in the entire state). I suppose if you consider racism to be immaturity, then you have a point.

I grew up very differently than almost anybody else in the forums (even, apparently, the one other Alabama native regular). What you think is ancient history or doesn’t make any sense is what I thought was normalcy for the first 18 years of my life, and as Faulkner said, in Alabama the past is not dead – it’s not even the past. But who knows? Maybe current high school girls in my home town are more evolved. I’m not going back there to find out. (Ironically, many of my white female classmates actually were “Fresh Prince” fans but they looked upon it more as a minstrel show than because Will or Carlton were “dreamy.”) As for modern times and current locations, I will still get a racial epitaph hurled at me now and then when I'm the only dark face in sea of white at a rock concert -- I mean, this is technically still the South, so it is bound to happen. The strangest time that happened was at a Sevendust concert -- what the hell are you doing at a Sevendust concert if you're racist? I wonder what happens at a Darius Rucker concert?

“These men do attract the women who are receptive to it, right?”

The lesson that I ultimately learned is that the women who are receptive to it expect the whole package. You can’t get 70% of it right and expect interest from them, even if the 30% you failed were due to things beyond your control. The women who did have interest in me didn’t care about the 70% I got right, because those weren’t the kinds of things that attracted them to men. So basically all the effort to impress women was a complete and total waste. I could never have touched one weight or bought one sports car or made one movie and still ended up with the exact same dates I got.

“It's good to see positive posts by someone in a good relationship.”

I never understood why people in such a position stay in this cesspool. If that happened to me, I’d be out of these forums so fast all you’d say is a trail of dust (during the 3 consecutive years I was dating regularly and in what you might call "relationships," I never participated in any message board activity, despite having been a veteran by that point -- who's got time for that crap when you have a real social life?). I initially came here looking for help due to multiple years of failure on the site. After realizing there was no help to be found, I stayed for the bile, cathartic release and distraction by debate. I would like to think I would no longer have any use for those things if I was in a good relationship, and it seems odd to me that would be true of anyone more sane and well-adjusted than I am.

*

The Smiths were really all over the place considering they also gave us (from one of my all-time favorite songs): “How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.”
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 99
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 10:10:57 PM
Thanks CTRLVector for your reply

I mean I don't necessarily disagree, I just think the idea that *my* primary motivation in life would be driven by the concept of love or the prospect of love, kind of negative. Like everything based around pleasing others and 'love' is pretty rough in my opinion.


That when subjected to solitary confinement, we are driven mad.

Maybe that is why I am kinda a bit mad. Although I do drive myself mad too, I have some serious emotional problems. I'm probably bipolar but since a diagnosis wouldn't actually help me - only hinder me, I never got diagnosed.


But yeah, anecdotal? Because your argument that we live for ourselves is backed by what? Did you even think to imagine what life would be like without women for a prolonged period of time? Or did you just consider what it would feel like to be dirty and unkempt for an extended period of time?

I don't argue that 'we' live for ourselves, I speculate that 'I' live for myself. I'm not generalizing how I feel across everyone else, is what I'm trying to say. If I did live for everyone else and for 'love' that would be perhaps a sad existence, considering the constant rejection and how I have no friends etc.
I'm a woman, so that would be imagining what it would be like without me existing? I don't know, really, what it would be like without the other gender. I don't like being dirty no, I don't keep clean for other people though.


I don't think about that because I lived it in the Army, I know what its like to go without a shower for 30 days, and if being uncomfortable is your biggest fear - I imagine your mind would be blown if you had to endure significant pain, let alone chronic pain.

Vector, you have been through a lot of things that I really could not begin to imagine. Yes, my mind would be blown if I had to endure significant or chronic pain. I don't really intend on having to endure significant or chronic pain though...
I have a really low pain tolerance, because of my anxiety (apparently).


The sociopath/psychopath might be 100% motivated through their own self interest.
But anyone with empathy, and the desire to love/be-loved - will be motivated by either the concept of love or the prospect of love.

Am I a psycho/sociopath then?
Well I'm not entirely 100% motivated through my own self interest. I want to be a clinical psychologist in the future to help people and also I would like to do my own research and discover something that no one else has, that would lead to being able to help loads of people. Is that motivated by love? I don't know, it's not entirely self interest either. I try very hard in my courses to get good grades so I can go down all the right paths to being able to help people. I'm kind of interested in helping people who have eating disorders (I think). I think I would be okay working with pretty much every type of client, child abusers, violent people etc. Only ones I might have an issue with is older people, since they are older and may not take me seriously, oh and young children.


that's where it stayed till I realized the power of love. And that understanding gave me a basis for me to engage in life, it gave me a cause worth living.
It's good that love gave you motivation. It seems to of caused me nothing but heartache and depression. As a child, before the love stuff, I was much happier. When love and the motivation to seek it came in, it caused nothing but loneliness, depression, heartache etc. I was so much happier without it. I'd give anything to lose those feelings, because they are not productive in any way for me. I want to be happy being alone and not have the desire for love and the prospect of it, because without that distraction I would be 10x more productive and happier.
Is there a drug that would blow it out of my brains?
I don't really have any friends at all, and obviously no SO - I both like being alone and loathe it at the same time. It would be easier and probably better if I just completely lost the desire for love and the desire to be around others socially because it's destroying me.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 100
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/26/2015 10:27:13 PM

It seems to me that men only live to impress and attract women.



What's your opinion on this?


Some men might, but I certainly don't.


I've always wondered why many men workout in the gym 3-5 days a week and go through lots of intense pain and inject themselves with unhealthy drugs,


I don't work out in a gym any days a week, and I don't inject, swallow, or inhale unhealthy drugs either.


there are some attractive women that really set my heart on fire.


I come across numerous physically attractive women just about every day, seeing as how I live in the second largest metropolitan area in the US.
Mentally attractive, however, is a whole other story.


Let's pretend that only men existed. Let's pretend that men grew off trees and there were no women in the world.


That's a depressing thought. At least one can look at the women even if one can't touch.


Surely the root cause is to ultimately attract women.


And don't call me surely.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 102
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/27/2015 3:21:41 AM
@ Walts: Whiny boy's rant, smile, that's the only explanation possible indeed!! Wishing you all a lovely weekend!
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 103
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/27/2015 4:29:55 AM

But yeah, anecdotal? Because your argument that we live for ourselves is backed by what? Did you even think to imagine what life would be like without women for a prolonged period of time? Or did you just consider what it would feel like to be dirty and unkempt for an extended period of time?


First off, to say " Did you even think to imagine what life would be like without women for a prolonged period of time?" is meaningless. Do you mean that I suddenly found myself on a desert island with no women at all? They all just disappeared rapture-style one day? Or they never existed in the first place? Define "prolonged period of time".

I have gone without a shower for a couple of days and I didn't like it at all. Granted, it's not like the military extended periods of time without access to a shower, but it's enough to know I like maintaining cleanliness regardless of a female presence or not. In short, without women I'd still take a shower and stay clean - I do that for me.

My argument is based similarly to yours - namely opinion and perception.

It sounds like you think our whole reason for civility in the first place is because of the presence of women to keep us on our best behavior. I admit, we men do act more "genteel" around the fairer sex, but I don't think society would devolve into anarchy with them gone either.



I don't believe that we are motivated by our own self interests.
At our most basic and primal calling we are motivated to pro-create. If we were to look inward and be honest with ourselves, we live and suffer for the potential to love and be loved.


That is complete self-interest - you just contradicted yourself.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 104
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/27/2015 11:34:04 AM

One poster regularly brags about having a huge six figure income, a house, car and other possessions. That same poster is a cheapskate who has posted she won't pay $2 for a cup of coffee, demanding the man pay for it (in the hypothetical situation she ever went on a date).


Oh I didn’t know assets determine who pays for the coffee. I guess a man who won’t pay for a $2 cup of coffee isn’t a cheapskate, but…progressive?

Btw a $2 cup of coffee isn’t impressive. He’s gotta try way harder than that. ;)
 pacino233
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 105
view profile
History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/28/2015 4:05:17 AM

Btw a $2 cup of coffee isn’t impressive. He’s gotta try way harder than that. ;)


So.... Coffee and a muffin?
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/28/2015 12:44:29 PM

Oh I didn’t know assets determine who pays for the coffee. I guess a man who won’t pay for a $2 cup of coffee isn’t a cheapskate, but…progressive?

Btw a $2 cup of coffee isn’t impressive. He’s gotta try way harder than that. ;)


Sounds about right for a first date to me unless you want a free meal that is.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 107
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/28/2015 12:59:14 PM
^^Is it wrong if she takes time out of her day, gets a babysitter, dresses sharply, maybe get her hair done? How is is it just a free meal, if she takes a great deal of time expressing interest in you?
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 108
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/28/2015 1:25:46 PM
Is it wrong if she takes time out of her day, gets a babysitter, dresses sharply, maybe get her hair done? How is is it just a free meal, if she takes a great deal of time expressing interest in you?


^^
Exactly
This is what many don't realize.
I can recall shuffling my schedule to free up the date night, going shopping specifically for the date to make sure I am presentable and attractive, and money on travel to the meeting place and home. The total cost is way more than a $2 coffee!
Babysitting alone amounted to the price of a dinner.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 109
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 2/28/2015 8:36:13 PM

My argument is based similarly to yours - namely opinion and perception.



Thanks CTRLVector for your reply

I mean I don't necessarily disagree, I just think the idea that *my* primary motivation in life would be driven by the concept of love or the prospect of love, kind of negative. Like everything based around pleasing others and 'love' is pretty rough in my opinion.


Nobody lives for him/her self unless they are sociopathic/psychopathic or have developed a narcissistic disorder as a result of not being able to adjust. The other stuff I said was in reply to the guy - 'neverinlife'

Humanity is what we live for, if we don't - then we've lost our way - or have become fundimentally confused. And if it isn't the whole of humanity we live for, (and it rightfully doesn't need to be) it has to be the relations we have that yield significant value and understanding.

I know what I live and fight for -

My faith in humanity is that - those who are moral and ethically resolved will act on their values whenever necessary. And be capable of acting on these values, despite the negative reproctions. And that they be both fearless and selfless in their endeavors.

My faith in humanity is that empathetic people with resolve be resilient to corruption, intelligent/cunnng and strong in the face of adversity. These people exist all over the world, but will never be united, still I have had the privilage of calling a few friends, and I have had the pleasure to be romantically involved with one for 5 years.

In addition to the understanding that good people exist throughout the world. And that the concept of good be earned through merit by act, any other association of good be fundimentally incorrect without the direct correlation merit by act. We live for whatever it is we believe we live for. But how are you to know what you live for - if you have to speculate? I know what I live for, I don't have to speculate.

But the fact of the matter is this and I will break it down to make it easier to understand...
In nurture:

We go insane if we are not among other people = we live for each other.
Some people we hate = we live for certain people.
Some people we love = what we live for.
In nature:

We die if we are left alone in the wilderness = we live for each other.
Some people we compete with = we have to be strong/intelligent or die.
Some people will live, some will die, others will fail = the strong survive - are you dead or alive?

We live quite literally to reproduce - by that logic alone we live for the opposite sex.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 110
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/1/2015 4:49:35 AM
Amazing post Vector. Very insightful.

I don't even know what to say now
Just wow.

Yes I completely agree.


My faith in humanity is that - those who are moral and ethically resolved will act on their values whenever necessary. And be capable of acting on these values, despite the negative reproctions. And that they be both fearless and selfless in their endeavors.

That is very true. If only more people had those values.

I laughed at "fundamentally confused", new term, I like it!



But the fact of the matter is this and I will break it down to make it easier to understand...
In nurture:
We go insane if we are not among other people = we live for each other.
Some people we hate = we live for certain people.
Some people we love = what we live for.
In nature:
We die if we are left alone in the wilderness = we live for each other.
Some people we compete with = we have to be strong/intelligent or die.
Some people will live, some will die, others will fail = the strong survive - are you dead or alive?
We live quite literally to reproduce - by that logic alone we live for the opposite sex.

So we do live for...others, to be with others and for love?
Not necessarily for the opposite sex, since some people are gay and whatnot. ;)
I think in more primitive times, love as a concept did not really exist but there was still some kind of concept of being social and caring for others in the group. So some type of caring and love and obviously socialness was always a driving force in human survival and growth.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 111
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/1/2015 5:10:27 AM

^^Is it wrong if she takes time out of her day, gets a babysitter, dresses sharply, maybe get her hair done? How is is it just a free meal, if she takes a great deal of time expressing interest in you?


That's a good point. But if it was a meet and not a date, I'd say she is expressing interest in seeing if there is potential with me - at this point she doesn't know me personally.

In these forums, it's a typical response to agonize over something as trivial as who buys coffee. In a real meet, you do or you don't - fate of worlds (or the meet) generally does not hang in the balance.

Personally if my meet doesn't have a coffee, I'll offer to buy one. She can either take me up on my offer or not - and if she does, she doesn't owe me anything. Damn, it's just coffee.

And I don't think of the dynamic of that matters a whit.
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