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 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 140
Do men just live to impress women?Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

"don't hate the player, hate the game"


What if I hate the game, and I don't want to play it, but im being foreced to fight in it; because im a slave, (in roman times) and I have the gladiator job as opposed to the labor job.

Can I hate the game then?

 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 141
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 3:11:56 AM
The Game exist because of the players,no players,no game.....people like to separate themselves from what they do,to be judged apart from what they do.
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 142
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 3:20:44 AM

As my ex boyfriend said all the time "don't hate the player, hate the game"

Your ex boyfriend sounds very wise, for a 17 year old thug playa.

You should reconcile with him.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 143
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History
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 6:20:27 AM

It is one thing to buy one's own coffee on a first meet, but to buy one for the guy and for him to accept it? Not on.
It is not the money, it is the principle.


Think the arguments on here are more about principles rather than the actual money. Although I'm not sure what's wrong with the principle of a women buying a coffee for a man on a date. In theory there shouldn't be anything wrong with a woman asking a man out either its just very rare because of tradition.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 144
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 6:29:26 AM

What if I hate the game, and I don't want to play it, but im being foreced to fight in it; because im a slave, (in roman times) and I have the gladiator job as opposed to the labor job.

Can I hate the game then?


You are free to do as you will.


The Game exist because of the players,no players,no game.....people like to separate themselves from what they do,to be judged apart from what they do.


No, the game exists, like any loophole. If there were no such thing as pyramid scams, there wouldn't be people trying to be at the top, making it rain for themselves. There's an opportunity available, and therefore people who will be interested in such.


Your ex boyfriend sounds very wise, for a 17 year old thug playa.

You should reconcile with him.


Very wise indeed, but not 17 years of age or a thug "playa".

About reconciling, I don't think so, we get along great and all, but no, what's done is done.

I did see him yesterday for lunch, and then evening after school, and he dropped me off at work this morning. He's going back down south today, he just came up here to re-register his car.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 145
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 7:43:20 AM

The Game exist because of the players,no players,no game.....people like to separate themselves from what they do,to be judged apart from what they do.


No, the game exists, like any loophole. If there were no such thing as pyramid scams, there wouldn't be people trying to be at the top, making it rain for themselves. There's an opportunity available, and therefore people who will be interested in such.


I agree with what Belle says here, sorry Strings. Dating is a game regardless of what you want to label it. Even people that say no games, play games. When you meet a person you are not revealing your entire self, you're only revealing cards, in each card is a face, and aspect of your personality and the story or drama behind that face. There's a famous book called "Games people play," and it's not about dating, it's about the personas that people have and use under a particular set of circumstances. For instance while having a drink and your buddies, you may light up farts and cuss all the time, yet when you're in front of a judge for a speeding ticket your demeanor is completely different.

Take for instance people that say no Liars, cheaters or players. And when you did deep about that person, they have lied about their age, or about their weight, or about their taxes. They may have also at some point cheated on their boy/girl friend and or been played or played themselves. So, it's a game.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 146
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 8:14:04 AM
^^^^^
That is why it does no good to put your faith in dating or romance. You just said so yourself that most people are full of sh*t in this department. I agree.. Dating....- hunting in the fields of the idiotic and the unsatisfied. Misanthropy is the only obvious choice.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 147
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 9:11:24 AM
The Game exists for those more interested in winning than getting.

If it turns out they are good at it, then they keep trying to win. If they keep losing but have fun doing so, then they'll keep doing what feels good.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 148
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 9:13:31 AM
The Game exists for those more interested in winning than getting.

If it turns out they are good at it, then they keep trying to win. If they keep losing but have fun doing so, then they'll keep doing what feels good.

To expound upon what IG said, putting all your cards on the table, and getting rejected as a result, hurts. So you play the game of concealing your hand.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 149
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 10:20:43 AM

Dating is a game regardless of what you want to label it. Even people that say no games, play games.

I agree. When you see a profile or an announcement saying "I don't want to play games" -- it means "I just want to play MY games, which I don't call games; I'm just looking out for my best interest," as well as for some just not playing Unnecessary games.

For instance while having a drink and your buddies, you may light up farts and cuss all the time, yet when you're in front of a judge for a speeding ticket your demeanor is completely different.

True, but I wouldn't call that playing games in front of a judge, though. I would think putting on a hat to gain the most from the judge for one's own benefit would be playing a game. Just not making wisecracks wouldn't be, because you wouldn't have any desire to anyway.

When you meet a person you are not revealing your entire self, you're only revealing cards, in each card is a face, and aspect of your personality and the story or drama behind that face.

Many times that is going to lead to games, IMO. It's Purposely choosing/putting forth some things, Purposely avoiding others to create an attractive/wanted perception. But, just merely not saying something or emphasizing something isn't playing games in and of itself, though. I would call it being a 'game' when there's an intent to paint oneself a certain way on purpose for their own gain... not merely choosing one topic/thing over another for mere appropriateness when it has no concern of how the date plays out.

To me, a good example of a 'game' would be a Job Interview. Much the same way... where one's cultivating their resume & cover letter, and responses in the Interview to consciously sculpt out an imagine about themselves... in other words, sculpting a "lens" in which to see them. That will be done in the dating scene, and many times done so habitually, it's not so conscious and just natural (therefore they don't THINK they're playing games).

Playing games is to "Look out for oneself"... to give themselves what they feel they "Deserve". Whether it's someone who just wants to get a piece of porking pie with a gal on just 1 date, or a gal who's been burned by that before and playing games to appease her own comfort zone when dealing with someone else after that.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 150
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 10:23:59 AM
Some might call it the game of life... Its not just dating but everywhere... Even if you don't play some of the games people would expect you to play.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 151
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 11:21:54 AM

But, just merely not saying something or emphasizing something isn't playing games in and of itself, though. I would call it being a 'game' when there's an intent to paint oneself a certain way on purpose for their own gain... not merely choosing one topic/thing over another for mere appropriateness when it has no concern of how the date plays out.


The moment you step into the restaurant or place you're going to meet, you are playing personality cards. Did you have a good day at the office? How do you feel about your mother calling and telling you that your twenty year old dog, that you left home when you left for college just died. Any way, you are suppressing or bringing to the front a plethora of feelings that you will share or not share with this new date. Then she asks you how long have you been divorced, separated, or split from your last girlfriend. Again, you have by this moment a "script" version of the events. You may even have covered that you even dated some, so she does not get the idea that she is going to be a rebound. Then she asks you about how you feel about children and discipline. Again, you pull a story from your bag of memories. We all have these stories from which we learned something to either make us better or to put ourselves down.
When we go out on a date and you put all your cards on the table, what does it usually happen? She friend-zones you. Why? because there's no mystery, there's nothing else to be discovered. The open book becomes the nice guy. You don't tell her however that you cannot control when you fart. Even though in reality you can't. You talk about the stories that will create an image of the type of person that you want to be portrayed as.


True, but I wouldn't call that playing games in front of a judge, though. I would think putting on a hat to gain the most from the judge for one's own benefit would be playing a game. Just not making wisecracks wouldn't be, because you wouldn't have any desire to anyway.


Interestingly enough I was once going to court and this older female African American judge was very severe to the people coming up. This guy before me, even talked legallese and was very slick. She practically nailed him down. Then it was my turn and I simply choked. I was really scared and when asked if I was guilty or not guilty, I kept saying innocent. The judge realized that I was scared sh i t less. I realized then what a fool I was making of myself but I could not help it. So I guess I was going to go down and get the full fine for my infraction. And all of the sudden, something happened, the mean strict, you-don't-mess-with-me judge turned into my mom. She smiled at me and asked me to take a deep breath and calm down. Then she asked me the questions again, but as if I was a little kid. I just answered yes your honor, no your honor. And then plow she hit her gabble on the wood plank and said "case dismissed." It was crazy. I am quite sure that if I had mounted a better defense and spoken with authority in her court she would have nailed me as well. Is it a game? Or the cards that I displayed?
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 152
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 11:35:08 AM
Technically we all play mind games with ourselves, so technically we all play mind games with each other - and if we're also being mind gamed, while mind gaming ... then we've hit the zone of specubation -

And by all - I mean the literal definition of the word "all"...

So if we're all specubating with ourselves and each other, that begs the question.... are we all specubating ourselves out of a relationship?

Or have we specubated too much, and prematurely cum to conclusions that weren't actually there?

Who knows... best not specubate about it.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 153
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 11:44:28 AM
Choice D is my final answer: All of the above

and if on Jeopardy: the answer is "what is specubation?"

vvvvvvvvv
lmao
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 154
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 11:50:52 AM

and if on Jeopardy: the answer is "what is specubation?"


Oh that's easy, that is when you masturbate and speculate at the same time.

So instead of getting a Playboy out, you randomly pick a magazine and keep it in a brown bag. It could be Crochet world Illustrated or Grandma g-string Journal for all I know. You don't know until you then pull out the magazine and realize that it's Mother Teresa DOES Calcutta and that's it, you have to go forward with all you got.

Hehehe
 matthew83co
Joined: 2/11/2015
Msg: 155
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 4:47:44 PM

I mean if you think paying for a coffee for a woman makes her a golddigger then it might explain why YOU are having a problem getting dates OL.


That is funny considering previous experiences I have had. I paid for an hour of shooting, a hundred rounds of .40, and two coffees. She was definitely not a gold digger; however, she definitely was too timid and too reserved in everything!
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 156
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 4:56:09 PM

a hundred rounds of .40


I hope she knows what that generally runs. Timid and reserved, sounds like a republican, how'd she group?
 matthew83co
Joined: 2/11/2015
Msg: 157
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 5:00:32 PM

Timid and reserved, sounds like a republican, how'd she group?


She wasn't a conservative. Grouping wasn't that good. I don't think she had a clue how much ammunition cost. You would be amazed how many women I meet claim "firearms experience", yet understand only that the finger goes in the trigger well causing a giant bang noise that results in a hole appearing in a target.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 158
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/3/2015 6:43:40 PM
Grouping is great for punching paper, but in reality, your target moves from shock of initial impact. Then again, a lot of paper has their bull's eye in non-lethal areas. As for her knowing the cost of 10mm, if someone's paying for it, why should she? :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 159
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/4/2015 8:57:24 AM

Even when I am only investing my time (and no additional cost), to attending the date, I still expect him to pay for the first date. I chose to give him my time (over many others and many other activities) so he will appreciate that in kind, and pay for the date. When I get older and less desirable, I may be more considerate as I'm sure I won't have as many after me.


Typical Noo Yawk 5 who thinks they're a 10.

Nobody's time is more valuable than anybody else's. Seriously? You can say this with a straight face?
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 160
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/4/2015 9:16:04 AM

As for her knowing the cost of 10mm, if someone's paying for it, why should she? :)


Exactly, lol


Typical Noo Yawk 5 who thinks they're a 10.


Better than a 3 at least, lmao


Nobody's time is more valuable than anybody else's. Seriously? You can say this with a straight face?


Of course, because everyone is going somewhere in life *wink*
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 161
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Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/5/2015 1:06:15 AM

Nobody's time is more valuable than anybody else's. Seriously? You can say this with a straight face?

Of course, because everyone is going somewhere in life *wink*


Well not the men your having dates with my the sound of it lol.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 162
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/5/2015 1:59:16 AM

Nobody's time is more valuable than anybody else's. Seriously? You can say this with a straight face?


Not all value is measured with a 99c ruler,
Because a 99c ruler is a stick with twelve 1" marks.
bc
Sometimes you need....... a tape measure.




but what if you can't add or multiply fractions and you need to?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 163
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/5/2015 8:20:34 AM

The moment you step into the restaurant or place you're going to meet, you are playing personality cards. Did you have a good day at the office? How do you feel about your mother calling and telling you that your twenty year old dog, that you left home when you left for college just died. Any way, you are suppressing or bringing to the front a plethora of feelings that you will share or not share with this new date.

It's not necessarily "playing" personality cards. Just because it's different than how you'll be meeting up with a buddy doesn't mean you're "playing" anything. Much the same of you nervous in front of the judge and she throwing it out -- you didn't "play" anything. We're dynamic beings. Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it's not. Now, AFTER that experience with the judge, you knowing "what works" and purposely playing the "nervous/lost" card Would be playing games.

It's all about doing something consciously, or in such a habit with previous conscious effort it becomes automatic for a Purpose, executed pretty sub-consciously. IMO, "playing games" is about having a purpose to purposely give a false read on yourself.

For instance, in a job interview, I'm not going to put my feet up on the desk of the guy interviewing me. Now, even if I like doing that and do that a lot at my own desk or on the opp side of some of my friends' desks, am I playing games by not doing that? No. I don't WANT to. I'm not fighting a desire. I literally don't want to. Playing a game would me Doing so if I got word that for some odd reason, that interviewer likes it, even though it'd make me feel uncomfy (but... ok...). Now, someone else who does that sort of thing and likes doing it, they may have to "Fake it till you make it" when it comes to things like that -- and they would be "playing games" for a while until they truly understood how/why that makes them look like a jackarse, and then truly Not want to or have any inclination to.

Then she asks you how long have you been divorced, separated, or split from your last girlfriend. Again, you have by this moment a "script" version of the events.

There's a decent chance a guy would be playing games to a certain extent in those situations, of course. However, what I'm differentiating is having a Purpose to give a sense of false direction for one's own benefit (or the other's technically too). I could go by a script but not be playing games. It could be truthful, but it's a good way of putting on a good vibe at the same time, where other truthful explanations can be klunky, mood changing, etc. It doesn't have to be a speech from a politician, is my point. :) I could phrase it without being misleading at all -- but would be effective at making them Not get the wrong idea. However, yes, you will find in those situations many people WILL be wanting to give them a slightly wrong idea, sure. Just saying that something somewhat scripted on "what to say" doesn't necessarily mean it's playing games, as it doesn't necessarily mean you're Inaccurately sugar-coating/fibbing/etc.

When we go out on a date and you put all your cards on the table, what does it usually happen? She friend-zones you. Why? because there's no mystery, there's nothing else to be discovered.

True. You'll either (a) Have the girl feeling refreshed (which happens), or (b) Her interest level goes down, somewhat commonly to friend-zone. But not putting all the cards on the table isn't game-playing if such type of cards aren't being inquired about or is known that it'd be in the best/fairest interest for that person to know about at that point.

Say she's out of my league, first date. Just because I have a back-of-my-mind vision of peeling her clothes off and porking her, doesn't mean me not saying it is playing games.
I would say that 'playing games' in it's technical definition would come into play if I was purposely putting on an act that I'm "ehh, kinda kind to her maybe", when really, well, I have those back-of-the-mind thoughts about her.

I would say I Wouldn't be playing games if I Naturally held back those thoughts or even too-much-like that would commonly come on as too much. I'm not manipulating her or the situation there. I'm not giving the impression I'm Not interested or Not-that-interested (That would be playing games; and could be advised as a Good thing, too). But just merely holding back things isn't playing games. I wouldn't say that if we're not Jim Carey in "Liar Liar", we're playing games. No. Some of those things he exposes in the movie of playing games. Many other things -- no, it's just thoughts going on in our head -- like taking the tupee off the co-worker's head, throwing it against the wall and howling like an Indian... not doing so isn't playing games -- even if you really want to in the back of your mind - lol.

With that said -- I agree, the dating scene is Ripe with playing games to some degree. I'm just saying it isn't so broad-spectrum. IMO, playing games is when your Purposely (consciously or somewhat sub-consciously) misdirect someone about something, working toward some goal/aim/purpose. We all do it moreso than we think, yeah. But I think IRL, we're always switching gears in our wants/comfort-zones/etc based on our environment and they change day to day to some degree -- so everything is technically a "change", thus, "change" by itself isn't playing games -- even if it happens to fit quite nicely for one's benefit, as opposed to something else which would not.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 164
Do men just live to impress women?
Posted: 3/5/2015 9:48:44 AM
"Nobody's time is more valuable than anybody else"

>>>Seriously, I can type this with a straight face--there are people out there not worth my time.

they may be worth someone else's time. Like their mom's.

but not mine. And that doesn't necessarily mean they suck. They just ain't worth my particular time, so they shouldn't waste their's.

shifting gears...if I decide to compliment a beautiful lady, and resist beginning it with the sentence, "You know why I really want to have sex with you? Its because how you....", I might not be playing games when I decide to not present the compliment so honestly. I might just be resisting my urge for honesty, out of respect.

or to avoid getting slapped :)
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