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 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 26
Women on POF with kidsPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
How dare women have a life before you come along.

I suspect there are more issues going on here than simply whining about single women having kids.
 WhoamI_46
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 27
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 7:52:40 PM
@ mrgorton;

eeekkk! You are testy!

On your way:)

Peace!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 28
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 7:57:14 PM
A woman with a past? OMG!

Tell us OP...

What past do you bring to the table?

Inquiring minds are dying to learn where you're keeping that stock pile of cash you could be using to own a car.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 29
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 9:25:54 PM

If you met a woman IRL, and clicked so to speak, would you just outright ask her, 'Do you have kids?"

See, if it were me? I wouldn't vanish if this amazing woman told me she had children (unless she had 4+, lol).


As I said, I don't think I would want an exclusive relationship. If it's just fun, and that's what she wants too then fine. And yes, I would ask but not in a mean spirited way.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 30
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 9:32:25 PM

How dare women have a life before you come along.

I suspect there are more issues going on here than simply whining about single women having kids.


I would not have to check your profile that you have kids. Whining? Maybe I am selfish, and want the woman I love and have a relationship with all to myself. Also, if she is not getting child support (dead beat dad) why should I financially support kids that are not mine?

If the kids are grown up and living on their own, then sure that would be different. But the vast majority of women that I would go for in the age I am looking at 42-45 that would not be the case unless they had them when they were very young.

I have enough issues and stress without kids that are not mine. I am not saying that the Brady Bunch "never" works..I guess it can but not often.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 31
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 9:35:36 PM

Tell us OP...

What past do you bring to the table?

Inquiring minds are dying to learn where you're keeping that stock pile of cash you could be using to own a car.


I don't bring any past. I have no kids and never been married. And I do own a car, actually two.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 32
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 10:07:28 PM
"I would not have to check your profile that you have kids."

 I don't.

 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 33
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 10:09:39 PM
^^ from your post I assumed you did...asss of u and me.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 34
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 10:15:12 PM



"Maybe I am selfish, and want the woman I love and have a relationship with all to myself."

There are other things that can demand alot of someone's time. How are you going to manage with issues that come up other than children- such as work demands, family stuff, friends, any other various, random attention and time suckers? What about when she wants "alone time?" What is OK and what is not OK. You would be surprised at how much time work and errands alone can take up. Or, she may have to cancel, reschedule or reshuffle you to fit her schedule. Would this all be OK, as long as it isn't because of children?

The idea of being selfish and wanting a woman all to your own..how would you react if she has guy friends she's known for 3 decades..or she's an aunt who likes to spend time with her nieces and nephews. How do you "have someone all to your own?" What if one of her parents get sick and need more attention from her? What are the limits with "having someone all to your own" and you starting to resent ANYONE else intruding too much on your time, on her time?

I am saying this because you seem to be hung up on this one thing...the kids. I don't see how you would be able to cope with any number of other issues that also demand someone's time, when you have this possessive attitude about women.

The bigger issue here: I suspect you may have some issues with compromise in general.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 11:00:16 PM
The ones on here that name me cringe are the pregnant ones or the ones that just had a baby.






Edit for below: I have seen it, too. Let's not forget in addition to having the very young kids, they also have half naked selfies and saying they're not looking for a hookup or one night stand. The pictures are what speak the loudest to me.



 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 36
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 11:05:37 PM
Not only that..I've seen a few that have just had a baby, and also have a toddler..and are like 20 years old...
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 37
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/1/2015 11:24:54 PM
Its a choice you need to make for yourself . Of course if you don't want to date women with kids then your choices go down. So now you complain about no choices... What planet you live on?? Oh wait you are just like most other people on here who think that destiny owes them. It is mind boggling how some people think that they are owed.
I too would not date a women with kids. Been there done that and burned the T-shirt. If anyone would ask my opinion I would advice them not to go there. But I do know that my choices are being cut down and I'm O.K with it. Never complained about it. While out and about doing things if meet someone. After spending time talking with them as soon as I found out they had kids I would lose all interest in them in a sense of dating.
If the choices are too few I always got the option to date women with kids, Or just stay happily single.
You must remember that no matter what choice you make it will effect your life. So make choices that you are o.k with or learn to deal with your bad choices.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 3:03:54 AM

I have anything against children it's just that if I would want to be around them, I would have wanted them to be my own.


You feel the need to be genetically "the father" to love or care for a kid?
Don't date women with kids .Please.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 39
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 4:22:02 AM
OP could just date slightly older women whose children have moved out.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 40
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 4:22:39 AM

As I have gotten older, I noticed that the odds of finding a mate without children is getting harder and harder. It's not that I have anything against children it's just that if I would want to be around them, I would have wanted them to be my own.


Your choice.


More than half of the 42-45 year old within 5 miles of me on this site have kids. No=417, Yes=161, PNTS=9 and all are over 18=48. If I refuse to date anybody with kids, it makes it almost impossible to meet anybody with these numbers coupled with the already high M to F ratios on here.


It's impossible because you have selectively and electively limited your dating pool, because of your preferences. At your age, you should be able to accept this. People with children aren't responsible for this -- YOU ARE.


I tried dating a girl with a young child once and it was impossible as the kid totally got in the way of us being together.


No child should have to suffer your inconvenienced presence.


I am looking for a relationship, not a one or two time roll in the hay which in that case it would not matter if she had 20 kids.


No woman should suffer you, either.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 41
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 4:24:57 AM

I would not have to check your profile that you have kids. Whining? Maybe I am selfish, and want the woman I love and have a relationship with all to myself.


She'd still have work, family, friends, and other interests that don't include you. What then? Try to take that away from her, too?


Also, if she is not getting child support (dead beat dad) why should I financially support kids that are not mine?


It seems to me you're barely able to support yourself.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 42
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 4:27:08 AM

Edit for below: I have seen it, too. Let's not forget in addition to having the very young kids, they also have half naked selfies and saying they're not looking for a hookup or one night stand. The pictures are what speak the loudest to me.


I don't see how being currently pregnant, scantily dressed, or have just given birth technically disqualifies a woman from dating and developing a meaningful relationship?
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 43
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 4:30:43 AM
Edit: a scantily-dressed (in a couple of photos)mother of young children -- not just scantily dressed.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 44
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 7:16:21 AM
OP: If your location you listed is correct, I would think there are a lot of childfree women in your area. Volkanoking and others have mentioned how S. California is the capitol of women obsessed with body image and looking perfect. So I would think a lot of women in your area wouldn't want to take the chance of messing up their bodies by having kids. How active have you been looking for your type on dating sites? They're not going to magically appear at your door step.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 45
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 8:30:31 AM

She'd still have work, family, friends, and other interests that don't include you. What then? Try to take that away from her, too?


That is not 100% true. I would provide ALL the financial needs for us if that is what was needed. And I don't live in my mom basement, hello? it's a JOKE. Like yours my profile is not designed to get an actual date.

Sure there is family and friends but it's not the same type of attention that a child needs (at least a good mother would not just pawn off their kid to a nanny). How can you even say that friends and family are the same kind of responsibility of having a child? I looked at your profile and I see you have kids so if anybody should know this you should. I am not going to turn this into a personal attack although it is tempting. Every other profile with women with children say "oh my children mean the world too me" and they should!
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 46
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 8:37:47 AM

Not only that..I've seen a few that have just had a baby, and also have a toddler..and are like 20 years old...


Since there are always an excess amount of single men "looking" for a good (free) time, it would not matter if the mother has new born triplets and 4 other young kids from 3 other fathers they would still get attention. These women in this type of situation most likely feel overwhelmed and of course would go to a dating site or the real world to get support or they just might be horny.

And of course I realize that limiting to no children limits my chances of finding someone. But I would rather meet the right person and have a good relationship than settle with some train wreck situation. I don't expect anything to be just handed to me. I have a strong work ethic, both in business and my personal life.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 47
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 8:47:25 AM

OP: If your location you listed is correct, I would think there are a lot of childfree women in your area. Volkanoking and others have mentioned how S. California is the capitol of women obsessed with body image and looking perfect. So I would think a lot of women in your area wouldn't want to take the chance of messing up their bodies by having kids. How active have you been looking for your type on dating sites? They're not going to magically appear at your door step.


I am not sure what the percentage of child free women are outside of POF in the real world or on other dating sites. So, in my area where the way you put it women don't want to mess up their bodies it's about 50% as my numbers in my original post claim. So if your theory is correct then in other parts of the country it's probably higher.

I have had three real long term relationships over the years from women that I have met online (not on POF though). And yes, none of them had children. So, it's not like I find that online dating is useless but I find that it gets harder to find what I am looking for as I get older.

As for now, I am not making any effort. My work load is high right now, and when that slows down I will revisit the issue.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 48
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 9:28:29 AM
"I would provide ALL the financial needs for us if that is what was needed."

But why...in order to make sure she has alot of free time for you? *crosses eyes*


"Since there are always an excess amount of single men "looking" for a good (free) time, it would not matter if the mother has new born triplets and 4 other young kids from 3 other fathers they would still get attention."

hehe....and....here comes baby number 5!


"I find that it gets harder to find what I am looking for as I get older."

And.......so do alot of people. Trying to find "what you are looking for" on a dating site...you're not making it any easier on yourself.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 49
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 9:45:30 AM
If you wont consider a woman with a child, you should put that in your profile.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 50
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/2/2015 9:57:57 AM

If you wont consider a woman with a child, you should put that in your profile.


That is not necessary. Since I don't look like a male model I don't get many women sending initial messages to me. The whole time I have been using online dating the hand full of initial messages and ones I did receive are absolutely nobody I would even slightly consider for any type of relationship not even a roll in the hay.

At this stage of my life, I feel like I am too old to have kids. Many women that are child free, want kids. And yes, more elimination of choices as I would not want to lead a woman on that wants to start a family. If I just want to fck, like many guys on here and other online dating none of this would matter. But that's not what I want.
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