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 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 101
Women on POF with kidsPage 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

mrgorton -

My version says the same thing but without venom. I think that mnay people have forgotten that is possible.


Yes, there is a way to communicate nicely. Even on forums.

Not entirely his fault as POF and the POF forums can bring out the worst in people. Additionally things are easily misinterpreted without any emotions attached. That's why I try to use Email and Texting for business only and stay away from it for personal communications. Although in this day and age, that's almost impossible.
 Forereels
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 102
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History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/5/2015 7:02:25 PM

Why are there soooooooo many divorces/breakups and single moms with children?


Because of all the men that are jerks?
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 103
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/5/2015 7:27:56 PM
Looking at ten people that I know who are single with children, I have this answer:
Because there are so many women willing to get involved with married men who have children?
Then the "ex-wife" ends up single with children?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 104
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 7:27:53 AM

Post 18 - And I wrote that because I have given up on POF as far as meeting somebody so I made fun of the whole cliche BS that I read in many of the profiles on here.

If you’ve given up on POF as far as meeting somebody, why do you care if so many women on POF have children?


Post 11 - It's more than just not wanting to be around another mans kids. I know people who have had an absolute horror story with their significant others kids, especially if they are teenagers.

I know people who have had absolute horror stories with their significant other, their significant other’s kids, their significant other’s family, their significant other’s pet/s. So what? Their story is not your story.


Post 11 - It had even gone as far as the kids were the reason why the relationship ended.

They make a good excuse anyway. It’s always easier to say, “I don’t have to deal with this” and walk away. Not saying it isn’t difficult, but it’s not the kids who leave.


Post 11 - I guess I am just unlucky enough to be that age where it may be something I have to deal with.

We’re always at an age where we have to deal with something – you’re no different.


Post 11 - Doesn't anybody believe in staying together today?

Not if I’m consistently lied to and belittled. Not if I’m expected to work full-time then come home to cook, clean, take care of the baby, clean some more, take care of the car, service him sexually, take care of/walk the dog.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 105
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 7:30:18 AM

Post 113 - Why are there soooooooo many divorces/breakups and single moms with children?


Because the world is changing – as it usually does. Because people are changing – as they always do.
Because that’s all you’re noticing.

Me? I notice (somewhat enviously, I’ll admit) how many lovely, single women I see every morning on my way to work. Of course, I don’t know if they’re childless or not…
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 106
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 7:45:48 AM

Not if I’m consistently lied to and belittled. Not if I’m expected to work full-time then come home to cook, clean, take care of the baby, clean some more, take care of the car, service him sexually, take care of/walk the dog.


Yup, same experience here. Add to that constantly being criticized for EVERYTHING I did or did not do. When I stayed home to take of the kids, the complaint was that there was not enough money to buy more crap that we didn't need. When I worked, the problem was that the house was a mess (since obviously I'm the only one who was able to clean) and that I was always too tired to service him sexually. Then the complaint was that I didn't have a better degree and made more money, even though I was already contributing more financially than he ever did and he didn't have the ambition to go back to school himself. Sex only seemed to happen when it was to satisfy his fetishes, which let me utterly unfulfilled. Yes, it was a slice of heaven in the end.
 WhoamI_46
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 107
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 7:53:07 AM
OP- to answer your question of why there are so many single moms on this site.

It really is quite simple. Because there are men like you in the world.

Peace!
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 108
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 8:05:00 AM

OP- to answer your question of why there are so many single moms on this site.

It really is quite simple. Because there are men like you in the world.


Wow that contributed a lot. No wonder your hubby dumped you and now you are an overweight smoking 47 year old that had to struggle raising her own kids ending up on Plenty of Fish trying to find another man. I am sure there are women on here who decided their hubby were terrible and they left them, but I doubt that was case.
 WhoamI_46
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 109
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 8:12:34 AM
Your charm is quite alluring. Keep it up,, someone,,, one day ,,, someone might enjoy talking with you.

And because you assume so much, you are not worth another breath!!

Peace!
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 110
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 8:16:37 AM

Mea culpa, Maleman999 - you are correct. He has three choices: (1) remain single, (2) change criteria or (3) keep banging his head against the wall... er, I mean keep on whinging... no, wait - keep on searching for his perfect match. I agree with you in that I suspect he can find a child-free woman (who meets all his other criteria - whatever those may be) if he keeps trying hard enough and widely enough. However, from what I read, it seemed to me that he had one date with a single mom. To me, that is not a great deal of effort.


I have to thank the OP, because of guys like him, it has made it a lot easier for guys like me to date, fvck their brains out and have relationships with absolutely gorgeous women....that also have children.

Now, OP, I used to be in your boat. After my divorce I went out with a couple of women with children and at first it freaked me out particularly since their kids were total brads, with no manners, that controlled the mom. So I started looking for women that had no children. That is very difficult to find on a woman that is in her early 40s. Also, most of the super hot ones, had one or two kids. So I went out with some that their children were already in their twenties. That worked fine, but mentally, they were already acting like they were grandparents. So I met a woman that was incredibly gorgeous, exotic, but had two little ones. As much as I tried to avoided, I ended up falling for the little creatures. We were together for about 4 years, so from there on, I wanted a woman with kids. Guess what? It gave me access to an incredible number of women, to where I could become very picky. So I did find one with two kids that are really cool. The mother understands my method of discipline and we all get along great.

So, keep being super picky. It makes it easier for guys like me to attract incredibly attractive moms.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 111
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 8:23:17 AM
OP

I am sure there are women on here who decided their hubby were terrible and they left them, but I doubt that was case.

OK.....so, what is the "correct" answer ?
You signed up on a dating site to meet someone close to your age....who is no longer married..hopefully and the majority of people are going to have children by their 40's. What does it matter to you why they are single now?

You are in the "minority"......If you have never married and had children at this stage of your life.
Many could or would question...."why" you didn't follow the path most have.???
Were you a player....selfish....delusional....in prison....or did you "choose" your path?

In the big scheme of things....it just doesn't matter.
You need to do a serious profile and just maybe you'll attract someone that you are looking for.
It is what it is.....Don't complain when you put little to no effort in on finding what you are looking for....
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 112
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 8:49:39 AM
My daughter faces the same problem in reverse - being 31, not having or wanting to have kids herself and trying to find someone who is in the same position and mindset. It's unfortunate the couple of long term relationships she was in didn't turn out in the end and the time spent with them has caused the field to narrow even further over time. As for why she didn't or doesn't want to "follow the path most have" is because she's an individual who simply doesn't follow the pack. Very often, that following the pack mentality causes the exact issue of many people (men and women) having children for all the wrong reasons (maybe because everyone else is) and then wonder why they are single, with children and looking for someone in the vast numbers they are.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 113
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Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 9:03:06 AM

Looking at ten people that I know who are single with children, I have this answer:
Because there are so many women willing to get involved with married men who have children?
Then the "ex-wife" ends up single with children?


Because, of course, their husbands were just 'unwilling victims', right? Those women DIDN'T break THEIR vows or betray THEIR spouses...so why is it the woman's fault?
Wow!

Don't really want to date men with young children either....It really curbs your freedom when you're used to being single and childless....

Never had the opportunity to have kids myself, due to health issues, although not really sure that I would have even if I could have....

Simple really, I just don't date guys who have young kids.
Does that reduce the number of men that I consider for a relationship? Yes, it does, but why would I complain? It IS after all my own choice.

If I WERE to meet a wonderful man who DID have young children I also wouldn't necessarily walk away, for the simple reason that it's very difficult to find that person that you 'click' with...and kids can also be a joy to have around.

Flexibility is key...not ALL parents live their lives around/for/focused ONLY on their children...to the exclusion of all else.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 114
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 9:39:43 AM

My daughter faces the same problem in reverse - being 31, not having or wanting to have kids herself and trying to find someone who is in the same position and mindset


It's not exactly reverse. As the majority of young children live with their mothers while their fathers have less or no contact. In the case where the father has custody, I would totally understand why somebody in your daughters position would not want that as he may be looking for a new mommy for his kid(s). And as mentioned, I am the minority at my age not having been married and have kids. And I have had people ask why.


Very often, that following the pack mentality causes the exact issue of many people (men and women) having children for all the wrong reasons (maybe because everyone else is) and then wonder why they are single, with children and looking for someone in the vast numbers they are.


This has to be one of the best answers . People get married because they believe it's the correct thing to do because being single is shunned upon:


Were you a player....selfish....delusional....in prison....or did you "choose" your path?


But society is changing, and remaining single is being more accepted than any time before. This explains that the number of unmarried people is the highest it's ever been.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 115
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 9:49:10 AM

I have to thank the OP, because of guys like him, it has made it a lot easier for guys like me to date, fvck their brains out and have relationships with absolutely gorgeous women....that also have children.


If I was on here to date women and the just fvck their brains out then I would not have an issue if they had ten kids. It becomes an issue if I want an ongoing serious relationship. Although this has not happened to me, I would imagine if the children are young and the father wants to be part of their lives it would lead to awkward situations.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 116
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Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 9:53:51 AM
Mr. Gorton? Pardon my asking but? If you find that general populous of women here so distasteful, then why bother being here at all?
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 117
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 10:03:26 AM

Post 11 - Doesn't anybody believe in staying together today?

Not if I’m consistently lied to and belittled. Not if I’m expected to work full-time then come home to cook, clean, take care of the baby, clean some more, take care of the car, service him sexually, take care of/walk the dog.


And you knew nothing of this before you decided to marry the guy and have his kids? Either he was a great actor, or you were so blinded by the intense love/infatuation you had with.

I believe that a lot of women get married because their biological clock is ticking and their urge for motherhood is so great that they make the bad choices by settling for somebody that does not work out. They realize the guy is an ***hole, and promptly file for divorce.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 118
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 10:05:49 AM

Because, of course, their husbands were just 'unwilling victims', right? Those women DIDN'T break THEIR vows or betray THEIR spouses...so why is it the woman's fault?


Yes but don’t you see…the ten friends can blame the “other woman” while remaining responsibility free victims who did absolutely nothing wrong in the marriage, and can have pity parties with their “friends” fawning over them with “poor you, have some more wine and chocolates,” and such.

The guy doesn’t get blamed because of the kids….trashing Daddy in front of the children reduces the coveted “victim” status into her being just another “b!tch.” I’ve encountered female misogyny before…or maybe just forum baiting. SMH

Edit:
And you knew nothing of this before you decided to marry the guy and have his kids?


Yeah right. The guy says, “You’re gonna have to work fulltime, clean the house, take care of the kids and the house and the laundry and the pets and service me sexually til death do us part. Let’s get married!”
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 119
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 10:15:56 AM

Mr. Gorton? Pardon my asking but? If you find that general populous of women here so distasteful, then why bother being here at all?


It's entertaining and I like the forums and there is always a chance that I may meet someone on here. Online dating is pretty bad regardless of which site it is. Although POF is free, it is truly near the bottom of the barrel. The only other dating site that is lower on the food chain is datehookup. And I don't find ALL the women on here so "distasteful". I do find ones I like, just not that often.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 120
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 10:16:53 AM

Yeah right. The guy says, “You’re gonna have to work fulltime, clean the house, take care of the kids and the house and the laundry and the pets and service me sexually til death do us part. Let’s get married!”


Which is a very good reason to live with someone for a long enough period and actually get to know them before jumping headlong into getting married and having kids...or nowadays which seems to be more the norm, having the kids first and then jumping into marriage.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 121
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 10:18:01 AM
I don't know why this is so difficult. I don't want to be with a guy with children at home either so you know what I do? I don't go out with guys with children at home. Another thing that I don't do is bytch about a guy that has children at home or bytch about his life decisions and whether they were right or wrong.

Geez OP, this isn't that difficult - don't friggin date women that have children at home. Is that so damn hard?
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 122
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 11:24:19 AM
^^^bytching about the bytching. ^^^
I never said I dated women with children at home. I don't.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 123
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 11:36:44 AM
Are dating and fvcking synonymous? :)
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 124
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 11:54:26 AM

Are dating and fvcking synonymous? :)


No, first you date (wine and dine).....then afterwards you fvck. POF is a dating site, not a fvcking site. Some guys use it as a site to find somebody to fvck but that's different all together.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 125
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 3/6/2015 12:29:22 PM
OP.....
But society is changing, and remaining single is being more accepted than any time before. This explains that the number of unmarried people is the highest it's ever been

Yes...see..I know a lot of young couples not marrying or having children until their late 30's or 40's...as well!
It's a freedom of choice.... you made yours so don't begrudge or judge others for the choices they made....easy...peasy...
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