Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Women on POF with kids      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 201
Women on POF with kidsPage 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
mrgorton- Not everyone raises nightmare children.
Mine have been taught to be respectful and they are.
I also want THEM to be respected, it works both ways.
If you don't want children, you don't want them and it's better that you are honest about it.
It does narrow your chances, but being truthful with what you are looking for is ALWAYS the way to go.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 202
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/10/2015 4:25:08 PM

This wasn't a new relationship--they had been living together/cohabiting for over 5 years when she asked him.

I guess the point is that the problems kids pose to a long-term permanent relationship don't magically go away when they turn 18.


I agree. Last 2 guys I dated had grown daughters who interfered. Both guys asked me to be patient and give it time. Heck no, grown kids are like hidden siphons in your relationship.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 203
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/11/2015 6:19:11 AM
This wasn't a new relationship--they had been living together/cohabiting for over 5 years when she asked him.
---------------------------
That doesn't matter. Unless he legally adopted the kids, she should never have considered the idea of asking him to co-sign a student loan. Legal adoption is how people decide who will take responsibility for kids.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 204
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/11/2015 8:35:19 PM
I dated a man with young children ( 8 and 11) once and I would not do it again. I spent enough time, money, and energy raising my own kids. I have zero interest in investing in that again. Now, if he has grandchildren, that's a plus. I don't have any yet, and I love little kids, yes even babysitting them.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 205
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/12/2015 3:25:46 AM

I agree. Last 2 guys I dated had grown daughters who interfered. Both guys asked me to be patient and give it time. Heck no, grown kids are like hidden siphons in your relationship.


I prefer somebody without children or whose children are grown, stable, and independent. I once considered somebody with adolescent children; but it doesn't work -- not for me, anyway.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 206
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/13/2015 1:29:51 PM

I prefer somebody without children or whose children are grown, stable, and independent. I once considered somebody with adolescent children; but it doesn't work -- not for me, anyway.


Yes however I still think you get a much better quality relationship if you have no kids with a guy who doesn't have kids either. Bottom line, it's gonna be about the grandkids and kids on all holidays. You will never be more than a glorified mistress if you have no kids and he has them, grown or not. Because he already has a family intact minus the dislocated ex-wife who is always in the shadows if no in your hair from time to time. Blood is thicker than water and if there is a problem with the kids, the vast majority of dads, even though the kid is out of line, dad will side with the kid. That's what I call a very poor excuse for a relationship, but women with kids have the same dynamic going on and they are on that same page. God bless them all and more power to them. Please just leave us with no kids alone, don't court us with the false pretense that we will be loved as we deserve to be loved, you are not capable of that.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 207
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/13/2015 1:36:52 PM
Dated a gal with no kids once. Got serious enough to discuss me living in her home.

The deal breaker for me, was her not allowing them a place to sleep if life threw them a curve ball.

I'll never sell my sons short like that.

I will always have the option for them to sleep on the couch, and I won't advertise it to them either.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 208
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/13/2015 6:46:46 PM
^^^Clooney, why couldn't you have compromised and had some money set aside to pay for a room closeby for him if that curve ball hits him? Why does it need to be in her house when you can visit him nearby everyday till he gets back on his feet? This is classic....you dumped your girlfriend based on a hypothetical scenario involving putting your kids before your partner.

I don't put my relative up in my house, I rent something for them nearby as a general rule. Much much easier that way, tight quarters can stress out relationships with friends and family.

I wouldn't deny the couch to any of my partners relatives or friends unless they had a theft or other social problem that would make it too uncomfortable. I wouldn't be too happy with it either but I'd do it for a while. I can understand why she didn't want it to turn into a long term thing either.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 209
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/14/2015 10:27:28 AM
^^^
I"m not faulting her, per se, for her views on children.

As a non parent, I wouldn't expect her to understand. It would be nice if she did, but it is what it is.

I earn a decent wage, but not decent enough to be budgeting a 2nd rent in case my son needs help. LA is definitely not inexpensive.

She was pushing for me to move in after only 5 dates and asking when my lease was up. Wayyyy too fast. My immediate concern was being able to offer accommodations IF sh!t hits the fan in their lives.

As for dumping her? There were other 'issues' that I won't delve into here. Not just my sons.

Hypothetical scenario? Hmm, yeah. It's called contingency planning.

I'm not gonna wait til that scenario happens to have that discussion. YMMV
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 210
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/14/2015 11:48:57 AM

I"m not faulting her, per se, for her views on children.

As a non parent, I wouldn't expect her to understand. It would be nice if she did, but it is what it is.


I get everything else you say except this^. Just because someone chose not to be a parent doesn't mean they don't understand parent/child relationships. We were all kids with parents for many many years, why assume we don't get it?

I once lived in your neighborhood and still have family there. A small room rented in a house somewhere for a few months isn't gonna break you. But better yet, if you date women with kids as well you face the same dilemmas and it seems life would be much easier together. I think that's the crucial point and why I prefer to date non-parents as well. In my social groups I keep getting hit on by men with kids, great guys but I'm tired of explaining why it's not a good match.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 211
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/14/2015 11:54:01 AM
I never said all non parents are the same.

In fact, she was the only non parent I've met with those views.

My 3rd ex (ouch) had no children and totally accepted my sons, so I do indeed know all 'non parents' are not the same.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 212
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/14/2015 12:47:26 PM

ol As his squeeze she might be just as goofy as him.... & who knows.... if she approves in what & how he acts & writes here...& dealing with young children to boot.. scary stuff....mother’s beware with this one in what goes on behind closed doors.... jmo


Wow. Plenty of hyperbole and assumptions in all your part. If you guys think my gf is imaginary. So be it. I have nothing to prove to a bunch of anonymous people.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 213
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:47:02 AM
IG wrote "I have nothing to prove to a bunch of anonymous people."

Really? Then why after saying that did you suddenly repost that old pic?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 214
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:05:48 PM

IG wrote "I have nothing to prove to a bunch of anonymous people."

Really? Then why after saying that did you suddenly repost that old pic?


overrunity, I know you don't like me and I probably get under your skin, since all you have done from a long time a go is constantly attack me, and say that everything I say is fiction. If you have nothing nice to say, or positive for once, I request you to leave me alone. As it turned out, the fictional gf, turned out not to be what you thought or wished. Too bad.

As for the old picture. I only been dating for one year. It's not like the photo is 5 or 10 years-old like many people actually have. And here's more fiction for you. More than likely we are going to get married in the next couple of months.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 215
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:07:51 PM

More than likely we are going to get married in the next couple of months.


Don't jinx it! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!



*whispers* me so happy for you :)
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 216
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:13:42 PM
"More than likely we are going to get married in the next couple of months."

Nothing quite like a firm date, lmfao.

And you didn't answer my question.
 OneInAQuadrillion
Joined: 10/1/2017
Msg: 217
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 10/25/2017 11:54:18 AM
Women on POF with kids

They're called losers. They did not plan for the future. They only acted for selfish reasons and now look who can't find a date! It's Mom! Go on Christian Mingle or e Harmony and find a single Dad.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 218
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 10/25/2017 1:24:55 PM
OneQ , well aren't you just a judgmental ray of sunshine.

I, for one, was not selfish when I had my children. Ex and I were together for 7 years before having kids. Together a total of 19 years. We grew apart, and then he cheated on me. We are still friends and parent our children together. I have no problem getting dates. I have a problem finding a man that makes me want to give up the freedoms being single offers.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 219
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 10/25/2017 6:27:46 PM
Obvious troll is obvious.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 220
view profile
History
Trolling trolls
Posted: 10/25/2017 7:01:06 PM

Obvious troll is obvious.

+1
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 221
view profile
History
Trolling trolls
Posted: 10/25/2017 7:18:47 PM
I think he's kinda cute. If he were plastic and two inches tall, he'd probably be sold in toy stores.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 222
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 11/7/2017 8:37:03 PM
Almost every woman in our age group has kids. It's a given that every women, regardless of whether the profile is fake or not, has kid connections.

If a women in our age group says she has no children, that would be quite unusual, but there definitely are women 40+ who have never had children.

What you need to watch out for is women 40+ saying they want kids (or more kids). Red flag.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 223
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 11/9/2017 2:06:38 PM

I have a problem finding a man that makes me want to give up the freedoms being single offers.

Same here! I have a problem finding a woman that makes me want to give up the freedoms that being single offers -- which of course, the main freedom that exists is porking others. :) Some women have a lot of nerve trying to strip that freedom from me!
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 224
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 11/12/2017 9:44:07 AM
So much for InnerGorilla getting married

He’s now InnerGorilla2, 8 years younger and actively seeking a relationship

Perhaps his passionate Latin fusion dishes were a bit too much for sweeties palate
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 225
view profile
History
Women on POF with kids
Posted: 11/25/2017 3:02:33 AM

the main freedom that exists is porking others.


You must be one of the lucky few men using POF who do actually get to 'pork' women in normal every day life. ;-) For many of us it's something that's rare (is for me - last 10 years probably 3 to 4 times a year at best) but nice to wish for hey.

Hardest thing is looking at all of the search results and considering any of them genuine. 99.9999999 pct that show up are fake, and that gives very poor odds for finding people who actually respond, seem genuine, and are willing to communicate more than once back and forth.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Women on POF with kids