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 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 226
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History
Papa Grin Page 10 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Trapped you against the door so you would not escape
No do not leave me without telling me the truth
As you laughed at me and my innocent fades
As you pushed me aside
Gone for the night

I was frustrated and hated you then left alone
I was your prisoner there ignorant you're snide
As you balked and mocked at me almost with pride
Slammed the door left my heart on the floor
Yes left me to hide

The other shoe dropped it was just a prop anyway
I'll step aside your drama is not mine today
You create it and debate it wanting to win
As you berate me it always begins given away
by your shit eating grin
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 227
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Mental
Posted: 3/30/2017 11:13:38 AM
Separated no one should doubt why
You don't need a picture to see ugly
Disassociated oh my she must try
What happens when she is very lonely

Did she take a stance demand romance?
Though she had let herself be filled with hate
He left I'm sure with no regret finding
Freedom in another place

Separated easy to see bitter energy
She must be on paper demanding half
I'm sure that's not what she truly wants
I bet she wants her matrimony back

She perhaps grew complacent began to attack
Demanded in all ways to control his days
And he probably asked for his balls back
But she was to stubborn to give him his way

I bet she was the type that was tit for tat
Never letting go of one transgression
He probably tried to keep the spark alive
But her demeanor and cruelty led to depression

Alone now she has no luck finding companionship
So she pretends she is a guru about relationships
She probably cast away a man that was truly kind
With no real love to truly give with her distorted mind

Separated? I had to look again the puzzle pieces fit
It's obvious why she lurks about caustic with her shit
Sorry gal she has no pals seems like no one cares
She's addicted to be wicked that makes it all seem fair.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 228
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History
James and Jade
Posted: 3/30/2017 7:25:41 PM
Her name was Jade
She whistled into the wind
Upon her back what she would trade
She traveled miles
To make ends meet
Come on home Jade
To soak your feet
The blisters there
She didn't care
The children had enough to eat

His name was James
He hummed a long song
Upon his cart is what he'd trade
Calling up the street
To make ends meet
Come home James
Don't be so weary
Dry your tears
The children are fast asleep

The kids never knew
The sweat from his brow
They were happy children
Never felt impoverished at all
They didn't have toys
Like other girls and boys
But never envied them at all
They had each other
James their Dad
and a beautiful Mother
at nightfall
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 229
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History
Pity
Posted: 3/31/2017 9:24:18 AM
Your world crumbled
Karma paid you a visit
You weren't here
Coming back for me
You got kicked around
Needing drugs
Thug

You needed a Mommy
Poor Mommy's dead
You weren't here
Not for love for me
You got thrown out
Needing a bed
Homeless

Your game ended
You lost that last hand
You're grandstanding
You were the man
The walls caved in
Try another play
Not me

You were living high
Buyers off the street
Made a shady deal
Man you got beat
I won't fix this
All you get from me
Pity
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 230
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History
Narco Pigs or Ode to a Douche Nozzle
Posted: 3/31/2017 9:47:23 AM
Don't get roped in
They will exploit you
Use you
and you won't see it
Abuse you
and you will be it
an avenue
For them to be cruel
and you won't even know it

You'll think you're helping
Hear them yelping
Listen with pity
Then take their revenge
To their end
Until they say
Amen

None of it was yours
Yet they sit back easy
Making them a little giddy
Thinking now it's
Your dirty laundry
Fight the fight for them
Then they will surely win

Don't get hoovered in
They will expel you
They're done
and you won't see it
Discard you
and you will be it
in awe
For them to be so cruel
and you never even saw it.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 231
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History
Once More
Posted: 3/31/2017 11:20:04 AM
The roses faded lost their brilliance cut their petals spilled on the table
The last bouquet that came with your best wishes I forget to send a thank you
Lost hours so many times I was going to call wasted them all with distractions
Now I'm saddened it was my fault

In the coffin it didn't look like you they did nothing for your beautiful smile
The last time I saw it you were waving putting the dog in the back seat of the car
I didn't know then I would never see you again but I remember you calling back
You said I love you said I'll see you soon and then you were gone.
Did you hear me? I said it back to you. How much I loved you when I shut the door
How I wish my sweet Love you were here still just once more
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 232
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History
Star Gazing
Posted: 3/31/2017 11:59:25 AM
Tonight I plan to do nothing
Nothing but gaze up at the stars
Maybe you will be looking up there too
Thinking of me
As I think of you

Tonight let the dishes go
I can sweep tomorrow
I can sleep in the morning

Tonight I plan to do nothing
Nothing but gaze up at the stars
Maybe you will be looking up there too
Dreaming sweet dreams
Of making love to you

Tonight let the dust be dust
I can trim the grass tomorrow
Tonight it can tickle my toes

Tonight I plan to do nothing
Nothing but gaze up at the stars
Drinking some sweet tea
I will just stare and not talk

To hold your hand still
How vast and tranquil
It's majestic and beauty
Just to gaze at the stars

One there maybe you
When you were here
You were my star
My hero my love
Am I gazing at you?
In the stars up above?

Tonight I'll leave my worries behind
Let the stars take my mind
To memories embraced
When you were mine

Tonight I plan to do nothing
Nothing but gaze up at the stars
Maybe you will be looking up there too
Thinking of me
As I think of you

---------------------

Oh my sweet Rob
I loved you
"as big as the sky"

RIP
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 233
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History
The Ax Forgets The Tree Remembers
Posted: 4/2/2017 7:52:19 PM
What do you think?I watch the way you treat me
No cards, notes, gifts, vows, nothing written

Just empty words, never above and beyond
I'd ask, you'd do but f7ck it up yeah stray every time
Then point the finger at me I did something wrong
You come back to mow the lawn then you yawn

Become the couch comando with no apology
Passive aggression you sorry f7ck with no apology

What for? All of a sudden nothing happened?
You're a brick wall you forgot it all? drunk?
Then you fall back again to be the other friend
Who wears the mask and never helps

Couch comando you pinch me soft pimp me and
Use me you f6cker. What makes you tired?
Your video games? Your ideas? Your way?
When I pay. The bills come in my name?

Your opinions? Your hoovering? Your never sure.
Questions you gas light me you call me crazy
You're f7cking lazy. Get the F out.
Crazy is so dismissive so narcissistic

You're the sickest. I watch the way you treat me.
No excuses, no vote, no shows,nothing forgiven
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 234
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History
The Ax Forgets The Tree Remembers
Posted: 4/2/2017 8:41:49 PM
The above post is a poem about a relationship I had many years ago. I chose to write it in the present tense. Often times I do that when I am write a poem. I use my poetic license and chose to write about the feelings I had as if I was in that moment again going through those feelings again. Sometimes a memory or a trigger will be very lucid and potent and the poems just come out that way. You have to just let the demons go through you and I write in that present tense.

My readers on my blog have told me that they appreciate that about my poetry because it helps them relate as they are or have or maybe going through the same kind of love loss or heart break.

Someone recently commented on the fact that I write a lot about "love gone wrong" and that is what I do best and I think so too. I was classically trained on the piano but when I used to jam with friends I played with mostly blues artists. So yeah my songs and poems aren't always romantic or frilly or what you might find on a greeting card.

I am pleased when other people enjoy what I write. I know I'm not every ones cup of tea and that's okay. I'm happy I have some that enjoy them. Thank you.
ooxx
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 244
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History
I remember
Posted: 4/4/2017 6:19:39 AM
I remember
Little eyes
Looking up
Always Why?
And hearing Mom
One hundred times
in a day
I remember
Little feet
Jumping up
Up and down
Always No
Go Slow
I remember
Little hands
Reaching out
Hugging me
Kissing boo boos
Away
No more days
Like those
Yesterdays.
but I remember
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 245
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History
Isolation
Posted: 4/4/2017 4:55:39 PM
You march in time
walk the line in step
You do tow the mark
no talk back
Listen to the rules
Up and down
Up and down
That staircase again
until I see grace
You do as I say
you do that's that.

You picked a chump
you don't see him
I own you
I pick your dates
Listen to the rules
To your room
To your room
Go down those stairs
until I see disgrace
You go repent because
you instigate

Grounded, locked down
Punishment now
No reasons for you
Think about what you did

I don't know
I think in Italian
Hear English demands
I don't know
I don't know what I did
I'm under his command

You better come
the first time I call
You do tow the mark
No dilly dally
Listen to the rules
Obey me now
Obey me now
Your plate empty but
you sit at your place
You do as I say because
your sins are tallied.

Throwing the Bible at me
Punishment now
Read it you tell me now
Think about what you did

I don't know
I think in Italian
Hear English demands
I don't know
I don't know what I did
I'm under her command


Think about what you did
and I don't know



A poem about a very strict Sicilian upbringing. The adage " Spare the rod and spoil the child " was the philosophy at the time. As soon as I knew how to read I was "punished" with the Bible. I had to be on my knees and read certain books of the New Testament. When I reached a certain page or could read a verse to her that I understood I could get up. Today I know that wasn't a punishment at all. Perhaps my Mother knew that because of her days being very short numbered with cancer that I needed the Bible more than any other discipline a parent could give me.

My Dad was very protective of my dating. A boy couldn't take me out until he was "interviewed" by my Dad. It was kind of humiliating, but that's what Dad's did back then. If they honked the horn and didn't come to ring the bell. He wouldn't let me go out. He would go out and tell them he thought it was rude.
He was a straight shooter.

My mother also wanted us to have very good manners and taught them to us with our first words. Thank you. Your welcome. Please. How do you do? We called adults Mr. or Mrs. One year for Christmas one of our only presents was a book called "White Gloves and Party Manners". It was very important to her that we knew which fork to use and which spoon to use for soup and which to use for tea. If I ran up a staircase like a "monkey" she would make me walk up and down, slowly, gracefully, sometimes with a book on my head. She wanted us to be polished young ladies. I disappointed her a bit because I liked to climb trees and make bow and arrows out of sticks and string and use an army knife.

If I had really acted up. If I had really been defiant and stubborn or just distracted by something sparkly and didn't clean my room or do my homework or practice my piano when she said I should.. I didn't get supper. I sat at an empty plate. That was that. I still had to wash and dry the dishes and take out the trash. After no supper, I went straight to bed. "Did you do the dishes?". "Yes, Mom". "Good night". I learned to behave. Made the mistakes more than once, twice, ten times sometimes but I learned and my lessons. Mom made sure of that.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 246
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History
To Live
Posted: 4/4/2017 6:06:17 PM
I took a valium
Tried to get numb
I just want peace
My mind racing

I don't want to get up
Half full or empty cup
Here mine is empty
Don't give me sympathy

I hate that sentiment
I want to feel brave
But all seems so grave
I am in dismay

I have a broken heart
My daughter is so sick
It tore my world apart
It's all I think about

I have fear and doubt
I ask God take it away
It creeps up every day
I keep my rosary beads

I beg to God and plead
I hold them in my hands
At night to fall asleep
Though the pain is deep

I can not cry at night
I cry and lose my breath
My grandsons still need me
If not for them I

Would not care about death
Those boys bring me joy
Their love keeps me strong
I pray for them all day long

God make their Mother strong
She's such a beautiful soul
The world needs love like this
She has so much to give

Oh God please let her live.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 247
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History
Lazy
Posted: 4/4/2017 6:16:09 PM
I should be washing the floor
Maybe doing laundry
Maybe looking at the bills
But here's my quandary

I feel lazy
Like I need a lazy day
A day for nothing
Just to fade away

A day when there's
No clock ticking away
No cat to scratch on the door
No calls nothing to say

I feel lazy
I don't want to do a thing
A day for nothing
Just to sleep away

I should be vacuuming
Maybe dusting the shelves
Washing the counter tops
What's wrong with myself?

I'm lazy, just feeling lazy
I need a lazy day
Nothing to do
With everything going my way

I feel lazy
I don't want a single chore
Just let me stay in bed
I'm not gonna do anything
more!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 248
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History
Chant
Posted: 4/4/2017 6:51:37 PM
A ba chick a ba
ooney dooney
ump dump
daney
gulla gulla
gucci
sha na ta
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 249
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History
High School
Posted: 4/4/2017 7:01:29 PM
What say? I saw him whisper in you ear
Tell me. I'm jealous but I won't tell you
What's up? I saw his arm around you
You're an item? What's the scoop ?
Tell me. I'm jealous but I won't hurt you

He was gonna be mine
Smiled at me all the time
He walked me home
Until she came along

He gave me his time
Wrote me poems
That didn't rhyme
He was mine.

He scribbled my name
On his notebook page
We're not the same
You don't act your age

Why is he looking at you?
What did you try to do?
You flattered him then
Stole him from me

There's gonna be a fight
The parking lot tonight
You think I'll let you go?
No I'm gonna put on a show

What say? I saw him whisper in you ear
Tell me. I'm jealous but I won't tell you
What's up? I saw his arm around you
You're an item? What's the scoop?
Tell me. I'm jealous but I won't hurt you

Much.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 250
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History
When You Left
Posted: 4/6/2017 12:38:13 PM
"I don't love you anymore"

Fetal ball on the bedroom floor
Feeling torn
Like being born out of the womb
Gasping for air, Grasping
In a dark, damp, cold tomb

Embers burn my heart
The shadowed hours
Waiting for day light
The slow scorching
Of my broken world
all night

You are gone

Where is Jesus in my lonely hour
I have no words to pray
I am a house on fire
No one can rescue me
This way.

You are gone.
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